Those of you who feel that your previous practice was useless or silly, did you enjoy it while you were doing it? I’m on that early stage of the path that will probably give me a laugh in hindsight, but I take great pleasure in it right now. The alternative is much less attractive. I think the snow shovel analogy was very to the point, except I love meditating whereas shovling snow is something I’d rather not to unless I really have to.
I would not say I enjoyed it overall. It was often unpleasant. But it felt absolutely life and death necessary. Perhaps more like doing a house renovation: it needs to be done, it's exciting at first and at times, there are lots of mess and difficulties as you go, it's much more complicated than you thought when you started, but you have to stick with it and it's a great relief when you can finally just starting wiping down the floors, replanting the landscaping, buying new furniture and living in it again.
I think each person's journey has it's own flavor, some quieter, some more tumultous.
Thankyou for your nuanced reply, Ona! That makes sense.
For me, it has already been much more complicated than I had expected but also much more fun. I was just going to meditate every day for twenty minutes or so, without any particular expectations. I’m pretty used to encountering unexpected complications, though, and so far the meditation related complications have been much more enjoyable than many other complications I have encountered in life. Maybe I thrive on complications. Hm. Maybe a great lesson for me will be learning to let go of complications. There is a part of ”me” that has sort of a Kali character to it. It likes to turn things upside down and inside out and deconstruct them, and it can be rather impatient and ruthless. On the other hand, it has a counterpart that is equally strong, and they tend to go along pretty well nowadays. They fullfill different purposes and they know that. The counterpart (in its balanced form) appreciates what is. It doesn’t strive for anything but being present to the moment. Meditation satisfies both of them, for entirely different reasons. I get to express both of these archetypes with one activity. I love it.