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TOPIC: Assigning meaning

Assigning meaning 09 Mar 2012 01:22 #5890

For what it's worth, I associate the "choking" feeling with "not haviing a voice or denying my voice" (in the biggest sense).

Also, for what it's worth, today I had a very similar (empty boat) realization. I'm sick and dealing with a family emergency away from home and haven't been able to execise or sit all week. I'm lamenting that these conditions just don't help practice or even the ability to think clearly -- and then, no duh, realized that the >it< that I'm feeling has an energy, it is a discrete thing that I can recognize, it can be noted, it isn't (all of) me, and that little dis-embedding gap opened up and I remembered that nothing can stop practice. Duh! and Yarr!
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Assigning meaning 09 Mar 2012 09:52 #5891

@shargrol - good one, yes, often I think the body stuff is quite literal/primal (nauseated ==> wanting to expel a feeling/thought from ones body, throw it up; tightness in the throat ==> feel like you aren't allowed to speak; clenched fists/tightness in arms ===> want to hit someone; trembling in legs ==> want to run away, etc.)

If you can consistently do the hard labor of paying attention to the fact that such feelings/thoughts are arising without getting into the stories, it really helps loosen their grip. I just realized, one of the reasons this is hard to do is because it means letting go of the story. So we realize how much we cling to the story stuff (it's not fair, how dare he, etc.). A friend said it really literally once: she said "but if I'm mindful all the time, when do I get to dwell on how mad I am?" The minute she said it it dawned on her that was half the point. Letting go of the clinging to the anger and just allowing the flow of thoughts and feelings. She found it not just difficult, but rather disturbing.

PS - tangent alert - On the subject of meaning, here's a random article about how a word's spelling gives it positive or negative connotations. http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2012/03/the-qwerty-effect-how-typing-m.html
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Assigning meaning 09 Mar 2012 13:07 #5892

Hey Mike, if I may suggest something to try -- while you're in LA and running into this "stuff" try to observe if you can why these occurrences are so upsetting. What is it about being yelled at that's so nasty? I believe you'll find a theme that will lead you to more insights and more progress.
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Assigning meaning 09 Mar 2012 17:21 #5893

ok
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