General reflections
I find the question of in what situations exactly this ‘earth’ situation/reaction is happening a bit uncertain. I can think of more extreme examples, when one is tossed into an unknown situation, or perhaps in a conflict? (because I associate defensiveness and the desire for security with the sense of rigid hollow armour). Or is it instead when one has the feeling that one is grasping at something that one’s scared to lose? – but I’m a bit offput/confused by the example he gives in questions, of wanting to know that the practice is ‘special.’ This makes it hard to think how the practice might be used speedily to meet emotional reactivity in everyday life (which is something I’m already doing recently with other deities, e.g. Vajrayogini for fierce emotions).
In terms of managing uncertainty more broadly, do think of the many questions I used to feel I had to decide in my head (would it be better for me to try to think about this situation in X way or Y way?). Now I tend to be very happy with ‘I don’t know’ (they’re all constructs) and the actual shift in thinking to whatever way will happen, if it happens, of its own accord.
There are various ways of working with deities. More advanced methods, as I just described, you imagine that you are the deity. The more elementary methods, you form a relationship with the deity by imagining the deity in front of you.
When I was a hardcore Theravadan, I was very scornful of these practices because I was like, you’d never become a good, I dunno, sculptor by spending your time imagining yourself being a good sculptor (at least at the outset – I seem to remember reading research that shows that once you’ve had some experience with something, imagining yourself doing it is helpful, as per the basketball example). I also considered that you can’t really imagine something that you haven’t experienced.
However these days, I find imagining the qualities of the deity toward you very fruitful and more so over time. For example, I used to do recitation of the 108 names of Shiva, which I hadn’t done for a while until recently, and on taking it up I was very moved emotionally – I felt I was being reminded of the beautiful qualities of being, as well as reflecting on suffering (for example, everything the Lord does is merciful).
in these deity practices, one’s enacting a drama. And the drama is a condensed version of one’s whole life. One is born, grows up as the deity, takes ones place in the world as the deity, and does what deities do, which is to work for the welfare of all sentient beings in different ways.
I like this way of looking at any individual practice session, which I hadn’t come across before.
The Practice
I’ve done the practice twice now using the audio as a guide. I found it interesting, but at this stage didn’t get a strong positive reaction to the practice as I’d had eg when I first started demon-feeding, maybe for some of the reasons outlined below. I wonder also if it’s because somehow the dakini image is not ‘specific’ enough for me – it’s like I need to work with a more completely fleshed-out deity – though of course I can construct her in more detail with my own attributes! I did a quick google to see if I could find earth dakini images but nothing really. I can definitely see how it could be very useful to work with emotional reactivity though, both deconstructing it in formal practice, and in the moment.
So if you look at the earth dakini you’ll see that, first its location at the earth center. Then there’s the inflexible rigidity, the underlying feeling of hollowness or uncertainty. Then the instability, earthquake, the grasping and then the imprisonment that comes from the holding. Then you let all of that be imbued with lights so it dissolves into light. The jewel appears, the sense of stability and pristine awareness.
I’m not sure that the sequence he describes makes sense in my experience – for me grasping would seem to be more due to desire, or to fear of loss, rather than feelings of instability or uncertainty (although in an unknown or new situation I can see how one clings to what one knows or redeploys a pre-existing pattern).
you become aware of rigidity, wherever it is, in your life and in your being.
I found this practice instruction unclear. It led to a whole lot of discursive thoughts about areas in my life where ‘rigidity’ might be. I don’t have any issue with discursive thought, I use it purposefully with some regularity in practice, and particularly in deity work. But here I wasn’t quite sure that this was what was meant, or if it was more like, say in tonglen you would imagine all the generalised suffering you’re breathing in, rather than a whole lot of specific circumstances one by one.
And now the reaction starts again.
Again, a bit unclear as an instruction. Does the first reaction set off the next one in a chain? Or is it simply that we need to keep on arousing that experience and seeing its component parts so that they are all ‘brought into the light’?