Jim's practice log

  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91674 by NeverSummer
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Yesterday's practice very similar to Wednesday's, the only substantial difference being that I went from second to third jhana almost immediately after sitting (just a little "splash", a physical wave of pleasure, the happiness giving way to contentment, and a widening of the focus of attention).

Last night I started in on Daniel Brown's "Pointing Out the Great Way" and found this to be very inspiring: "Few take their meditation practice seriously enough that during every meditation session they approach each and every moment of meditation with a deliberate carefulness based on the assumption that any single moment of flawless practice could establish the conditions to awaken the mind fully."

Going off of this, this morning at the beginning of the sit I resolved to explore with bare attention, as much as possible, the mind states as they arose on the jhanic arc. Like yesterday, I started the sit in 2nd jhana and almost immediately transitioned into 3rd. I rose up the arc and entered the first pure land jhana -- this took around 10 minutes. I spent longer in the first PL jhana than I ever had before, then dropped back down to first jhana -- this cycle took 22 minutes. In the next 20 minutes I rose back up to the first PL jhana (again spending the bulk of my time there) before dropping back down to the 5th jhana and concluding the sit.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91675 by NeverSummer
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(continued from previous...)

The first PL jhana really fleshed itself out during this time and I feel confident in identifying it even if it were not to pop up in the expected order (and, in fact, I feel more confident in identifying it than I feel confident in distinguishing 7th and 8th jhana from each other if they were not to pop up in the expected order).

Things I have been noticing: The physical sensations I associate with transitioning between jhanas and entering in to jhanas are much more pronounced in the area of the first PL jhana -- cool, pleasurable waves in the legs, warmer waves washing over the torso. Also -- the kundalini activity in the sides of the head and temples that I've been experiencing for quite awhile seem to have moved to the area of the third eye. This is much more comfortable for me -- the activity in the sides of the head always left me feeling a tad vulnerable -- like if the voltage cranked itself up it could cause some damage. The activity around the third eye, while strong, feels much more grounded.

Thanks as always to any who read...Jim
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91676 by NeverSummer
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i've been continuing the strata of mind practice in the mornings. The sits have followed the same pattern as described previously, with one notable exception: another jhana following PL1. The jhana revealed itself in the typical way I experience another layer of strata being unearthed -- rushes of physical sensations (notably coolness in the legs, warmer sensations in the torso), and unstable fluctuations of mind. As the process revealing of new layers of strata has become fairly routine over the past few months, I've noticed that I'm not really grasping at something new anymore -- just kind of relaxing and letting whatever happens, happen. The jhana that follows PL1 is very similar to PL1 in terms of physical feeling and panorama -- where it differs is that while PL1 has a huge feeling of gratitude (and accompanying smile) to it, this next layer has much more of a feeling of cool contentment. In this way, the transition from PL1 to the next jhana carries some similarities in my experience to the transition between jhanas 2 and 3.

Other notes:

I've tried several times over the past week to access Nirodha Samapatti from the 8th jhana using the method of "pushing down" behind the third eye chakra. Although this has started a process of "falling down" into darkness, the process itself has not yet come to any resolution or "break through".

Operating under the assumption that I have recently (although I cannot pin down any exact moment) attained to a path, I've been dramatically chilling out on my evening practice. I don't want to find myself in another dark night until at least after the holidays. As such, evening practice has consisted of energetic work -- tsa lung exercises, nine breathings of purification, and some of Reggie Ray's body-based exercises (earth breathing, mahamudra entry protocol, central channel work, etc.)
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  • JLaurelC
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11 years 3 months ago #91677 by JLaurelC
Replied by JLaurelC on topic RE: Jim's practice log
I thank you for writing these clear and precise reports. I am trying to do a practice similar to yours, and have just gotten up from a session wondering what to expect. I then decided to read your thread, and there it is, all laid out for me. I think your 2nd gear practice in daily life has really made a difference in assimilating your attainments on the cushion. I need to quit fooling around (getting absorbed into day-to-day aversion) and do the same. Thanks again.

Question: it seems clear to me that you've been working on 3rd path; I can't say whether you have it now or are very, very close. But have you cycled in daily life as you've been working on this path? I seem to be doing a lot of that and it's very troublesome.
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  • Eric_G
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11 years 3 months ago #91678 by Eric_G
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I seem to be going thru some similar territory, although you seem to be a step or two ahead and you seem to have a bit more mastery. So these posts have been very helpful. I think 5th is about the only one I can call up to any degree. I may have stumbled into PL1 the other day, unless it was some weird variant of 4th. Makes me want to sit more.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91679 by NeverSummer
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Laurel, it's an interesting question you ask about cycling. Up until I read MCTB last September or so, I had no knowledge of maps, territory, cycles, stages, any of this. I'd just been sitting for a long, long time, under the operating assumption that there was no way that my practice could have been contributing to both the peaks and valleys of life (because meditation is for "stress reduction" right? Riiiiiight). Once I learned a bit about the dark night, looking back, certain periods of my life made a lot more sense. Nevertheless, I think that I've heavily conditioned myself that life's ups and downs are the product of external circumstances, or what I ate at my last meal, or random periodic depressions, etc. It's only over the last year that I've realized that these episodes involving anxiety and tremendous, molten activity in the heart center are actually practice-related. It's been even more recent that I realized I was in a place with practice where cycles within cycles within cycles were probably unfolding. Only in the past few months have I noticed that a lot of perceived "negative" outlooks that pop up from time to time actually have their own individual flavor and energy. So I guess to answer your question, yes, I do cycle, but I'm just now learning to notice it, mainly because I don't have much experience in the insight/therevadin tradition. Interesting aside: after reading MCTB, I just assumed that I was working toward stream entry because I hadn't experienced the things that Ingram described. In hindsight, I think I had experienced them, I just wasn't trained to notice them.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91681 by NeverSummer
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(continued from above)...

Not sure if this will be helpful, but I've found that when things are getting rough, stuff like the tsa lung exercises ("Awakening the Sacred Body" Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche), doing body-based vipassana and holding the "eruptions" in a loving space and seeing their impermanence, and consistently doing "not-self" contemplations are all helpful. Maybe there's some scripting involved, but I've really come to believe that the rough parts of the cycles have at least partially something to do with the "energetic" component of "physio-energetic development." It just feels to me like kundalini banging around in there and getting clogged while trying to get into and open up new areas.

Thanks so much Laurel and Eric for reading my log and giving me feedback. It is much appreciated! Jim
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91680 by NeverSummer
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(continued from above)..


Something Kenneth said regarding fruitions really tipped me off to this: "these subtle phenomena can happen, but unless you are trained to notice them you may never see them." Lately, I've been noticing as I stop and "check in" during the day, I might find myself in a certain strata (often this is a very light 3rd or 4th jhana -- I probably don't tend to think to stop and notice the more unstable strata as I think they have the capacity to make one discursive in the course of daily life).

I'm glad you mentioned incorporating 2nd gear into daily life -- it's a valuable reminder for me. I've been pretty good about cultivating it on the way to work, but as my job mostly consists of socialization (I am a teacher), it's hard to continue throughout the day. Another interesting aspect of my job as it connects to practice is that the anxiety/heart chakra eruptions correlate strongly to what we call here at work a "surge" -- a situation where suddenly there is too much on one's plate, random things are going wrong, and even the simplest of mental tasks is then rendered difficult. This tends to reinforce my conditioning that these internal dynamics are caused by external factors.

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  • JLaurelC
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11 years 3 months ago #91682 by JLaurelC
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Maybe I should try some of those exercises. Lately I'm a basket case. I've never been able to tell exactly what is caused by the path and what is due to external factors, or even stuff like psychological factors. After the fact it's easier than while it's happening. Thanks, Laurel
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91683 by NeverSummer
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"I've never been able to tell exactly what is caused by the path and what is due to external factors, or even stuff like psychological factors. After the fact it's easier than while it's happening."

Yep. Same here. Hang in there!
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91684 by NeverSummer
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Work has been crazy this week and I was definitely feeling the effects of the heart chakra/anxiety/energetic craziness I've referred to in past posts. Not being super familiar with how cycling manifests, I'm sort of trying to look at it in that context and se what else might be there. Certainly, at times, elements of fear. Last night's practice was directed at trying to smooth things out -- I did the tsa lung exercises, 9 breaths of purification, Reggie Ray's ten points practice and Earth breathing, followed by some gentle vase breathing. Although my sleep wasn't the deepest, it was adequate.

This morning sat for the strata of mind practice. A hallmark of the past week or so has been an almost immediate transition from 2nd to 3rd jhana (still starting at 2nd). I rose up through (what I think are) the first two pure land jhanas and headed back down. While in 8th jhana, I attempted to access NS. Rather than using the "pushing down" technique behind the third eye area that I've seen detailed in other threads on this site, I followed Kenneth's advice to shine your attention like the beam of a flashlight back around on the inside of your skull, focusing in the third eye area. After a short time, this began to bring about the "shutting down" feeling I mentioned before. My eyes spontaneously closed. I reopened them, and was soon taken over by very pronounced waves of bliss. I'm trying to remember back, but I think this is the most blissed out I've ever been in all of my years meditating. This process was very much directed by and manipulated by me, however. After a time (not sure how long) I was not able to sustain the effects at the same level and didn't think it seemed wise to increase the effort. The blissed out state slowly and very stably gave way to 8th jhana.

I have no idea what this was. Like I said, it was very much brought about by manipulation and effort.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91685 by NeverSummer
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(continued from above)...

...This state differed from a jhana in that a jhana, in my experience, tends to reveal itself rather than being blasted into existence.

The effects of this have followed me to work today and it's been quite nice. Very weightless, happy feeling.

Thanks as always to anyone who reads. Jim
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 3 months ago #91686 by NeverSummer
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Practice continues to go much as it has previously (including the bliss wave thing that tends to pop up when trying to access NS from 8th jhana).

(Not so) random observations:

My concentration is not as strong as it was a few months back, when I seemed to be in high equanimity. However, this is not preventing the jhanas from regularly popping up in sequence.

Another very interesting thing I am noticing is the way energy is manifesting in the body, particularly the lower chakras. Going back to doing tsa lung and other body-based meditations in the evenings has been revelatory -- I'm experiencing these practices at a level of depth unavailable to me previously. In particular, breathing into the chakra area four finger-widths below the navel (three channels junction) opens up a space and stillness and timelessness that defies language. The description of the four paths as a process of completing a "physio-energetic circuit" starting from the bottom up is certainly resonating with me right now.

Also, continuing to use 2nd gear as my practice when doing daily activities (when I can remember and when it is appropriate).
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 2 months ago #91687 by NeverSummer
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Practice continued more or less the same as usual over the holidays. Although I wasn't able to keep a regular schedule, still got in plenty of time on the cushion.

New things that came up:

*Been practicing a bit with Reggie Ray's "Mahamudra for the Modern World", which contains some pointing out exercises. I've been noticing recently that a space seems to be opening up in the back of my head, a stillness on par with what I described earlier as occurring in the lower chakras. This seems to me to be a byproduct of doing Witness practice, or possibly from a practice called "Ground Mahamudra Transmission" in Reggie's series, which works extensively with said area. Last night I went through the transmission practice again (it didn't seem to do much for me the first time around). I definitely got a glimpse of something new -- simple, pure, all-encompassing, seemingly a product of subtraction rather than creation or building-up-to. This lasted the rest of the evening and on into sleep.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 2 months ago #91688 by NeverSummer
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(continued from above)

*In doing the jhanic arc practice, the transition from 2nd to 3rd jhana at the very beginning continues to take place very quickly -- I sit, find myself in second jhana, and within just a few seconds (if that) I "splash" into third jhana (the point of attention opens to a wider span and the smile of happiness gives way to a buddha-smirk of contentedness, with unstable territory to follow soon after). As such, I've been playing a bit with going into second jhana a little more and staying in it for a bit longer -- seems like a good way to begin practicing navigating the jhanas with intention rather than just sitting back and watching them unfold. Just starting to work with this.

*The holidays gave a huge dose of emotional content to work with (relationship falling apart). As such, been working a bit more with witness practice and the body-based vipassana described elsewhere in this log. Just letting things manifest, watching, accepting with a mind towards transmutation. This has been enormously helpful. In the past this would have been a terribly difficult time. Not exactly easy now, but definitely being perceived as grist for the mill and opportunity. Lots of space now for this to happen in.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 2 months ago #91689 by NeverSummer
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Changed the morning sit a bit to accentuate what seems to be happening in moment-to-moment life. The aforementioned areas of extreme space and stillness in the body (in particular in the chakra below the navel and the space behind the palate in the back of the head) have been near-omnipresent along with witness consciousness. As such, it's been a constant reminder to practice (as I can and when I can) through the course of the day off of the cushion. Awareness off the cushion continues to be very expansive - objects at a distance seem to be existing almost as much inside of the "self" as outside. Energy in the body is smooth and blissful. Not sure if this is a result of territory which I am assuming to be post 3rd path, witness practice, mahamudra, or all of it. I can say that what I am experiencing has lead my conscious, wandering mind to be much more interested in "cutting through" to base, unfabricated awareness rather than attainment of developmental paths.

As such, for the past two mornings before beginning jhanic arc practice I've started with breathing exercises (lower belly breathing, 9 breaths of purification, vase breathing for those who are familiar), then transitioned into second gear practice, really bringing the witness inside and outside of everything. From there, I've done the jhanic arc practice. Practice has been extremely stable, concentration good. Typically in the time frame I'm working with, I'll ascend to 2nd PL jhana and back down to 4th before I run out of time...I'm thinking for the time being this will continue to be my morning practice..
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 2 months ago #91690 by NeverSummer
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Main practices continuing (mostly) as per usual. A few interesting things that have come up:

*I'm finding second gear practice excellent for walking meditation. I'm also finding that playing around with words and phrases can be very useful. While walking on Saturday, I transitioned from "who am I" (focusing on the "essence" of the small self from the witness point of view) to "who is it that sees" (focusing on the mingling of the essence of self in the visual field; seeing the small self and its projections into the visual field -- is this what is meant by co-dependent arising?). Then I shifted to a new set of phrases (either gleaned from Ken Wilber or Nisargadatta's "I am That", both of which I've been reading lately) -- "not this, not that". The "not this" is focused on the essence of the small self; the "not that" focused on both the essence of the small self *and* the visual field *and* the mingling of the two. I found this to shift 2nd gear practice into overdrive -- witnessing both the small self and the external world as being part and parcel of the same thing, and certainly not part of the larger "Self". Interesting that later that afternoon I read this in "I am That": "...We withdraw from the experience and its experiencer and stand apart in pure awareness, which is between and beyond the two. The personality, based on self-identification, on imagining oneself to be something: 'I am this, I am that', continues, but only as part of the objective world. It's identification with the witness snaps."....Spot on.
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  • NeverSummer
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11 years 2 months ago #91691 by NeverSummer
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Fairly dramatic change in practice today. I started my morning sit as per usual, starting with breathing exercises, moving into cultivating witness consciousness, and then going up the jhanic arc. The first pure land jhana was much more pleasurable than usual - very lovely. The first PL gave way to the second, and suddenly I had that feeling that new stuff was about to reveal itself (I have a very difficult time describing how this feels, but it tends to announce itself - it's not something i go looking for). I got pulled into a new (to me), very stable mind state that was characterized by an extremely thick, heavy energetic component. I did not feel lighter than air - rather, very rooted. I'm not sure if this energetic aspect was a part of the state itself or just part of the nature of new territory fleshing itself out. I was locked into the state for a good half hour. And I do mean locked in - it was obvious I wasn't going anywhere. After about a half hour the state released its hold on me (and it did really feel like it had a grip on me) and I started back down the jhanic arc. Again, the first pure land jhana was extremely pleasurable. I finished my sit feeling somewhat blissed out but also rather worked over.

So that was new.

Went on a hike later today and at one point I stopped to take in a series of rocky ridges. I had the strange experience of really not being able to pin them down. There was the previously described (in another post) aspect of perceiving things that are outside of me as also being inside of me in terms of awareness (this has been more or less continuous over the past few months) but beyond that, there was a sense of a consensual relationship with what I assume to be reality starting to shift and crumble. I find myself wondering if dissolution and the dark night will make themselves known soon.
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