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TOPIC: Do you sleep well?

Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 08:00 #112753

We've been pondering lately how many people would answer that question "rarely" or "not at all" or "I wish!". Every day I talk to people who include in their answer to "how are you?" that they didn't sleep well. So I was wondering two SIX things:

1) Have you slept well in the past 10 days?
2) How do you define sleeping well? (ie how many and what kind of interruptions are permissible before it becomes sleeping badly?)
3) How do you define sleeping badly?
3a) Do you regularly use a home remedy or pharmacy remedy to help you sleep?
and related to that
4) If/when you wake up at night are you anxious?
5) Are you similarly anxious when awake during the day? (ie is anxiety just kind of a baseline no matter what?)
6) Anything else

I would love to hear anecdotally about people besides yourself, if you are aware of a friend, relative, etc who has told you about their sleep.

I guess my direction of curiosity is whether we would do better to redefine what 'good' sleep is, if no one actually has ever experienced it. And I can't think of a single person I've ever talked to who said "Wow, I just sleep so well all the time, it's so amazing." I rarely sleep through the night. Maybe never.
Last Edit: 22 Jul 2020 08:00 by Ona Kiser.
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Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 08:22 #112755

I generally sleep very well, where "well" means I fall asleep quickly, sleep very soundly, and wake up at a decent time. In fact, for a while, I was waking up at nearly the exact same time every day (within 1 minute) which I found really odd. Conversely, my wife sleeps very poorly. She sometimes cannot get to sleep or, more likely, will wake in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep because "her mind is racing". Her strategies include occasionally using a natural sleep pill (don't recall what), and now always sleeping with a weighted blanket. Given how disruptive that blanket is, and that she still has her "mind racing", I am not sure what benefit that provides.

I do feel like I could sleep more. Possibly I am just on edge for most of the day, or just mentally tired from work...something is draining me. But I have very little anxiety in the meaning that I think of when I hear that word.
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Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 09:17 #112759

Well, I guess I'm pretty much someone that sleeps well. My wife and I prioritize sleep, so it's good to have a partner in this. Our favorite times are taking naps on Saturday and Sunday...

The last few days have been an anomalous time (my dog is very sick/dying and needs attention in the middle of the night), but that said...

I define sleeping well as turning off the lights at 9pm and asleep by 9:15 and waking up at 5 or 5:15, with a minimum of tossing and turning. I rarely wake up for more than 1 minute during the night, rarely need to pee. :) I tend to sleep through storms and other normal noises, yet wake up when there are strange noises...

Yeah, I've slept well (prior to the last few days :) ).

I define sleeping badly as strong thinking-dreams (not restful sleep), insomnia after waking up at 1 or 2 am, sickness sleep (like when having a fever --- ugh, that's awful), and/or less than 7 1/2 hour sleep.

No sleep remedy needed. Well, sometimes I take a soak in a warm bath and I do like to keep my bedroom as dark and cool as possible -- both of these really help.

If/when you wake up at night are you anxious? No, or at least very very very rarely. Usually I'll have thinking-dreams and wake up early ~4AM if I'm anxious. (Edit: and I should mention that this anxiety usually has some element of truth, so I find that these mornings I often start working/solving some home or work related problem. I used to begrudge my anxious mind, but it's sort of a friend now.)

Are you similarly anxious when awake during the day? (ie is anxiety just kind of a baseline no matter what?) No, the anxiousness is fleeting, although sometimes the cortisol feeling lingers into mid-morning, kinda like an anxious hangover.

For me, the biggest determinant of good sleep is 1) not too much coffee (3 mugs MAX and last one no later than 2PM, ideally tea after lunch instead), 2) just the right amount of exercise" which means I'm tired but not exhausted, and 3) going to bed completely sober. Athletes sleep ~10 a day, usually daytime nap and full nights sleep, which to me is very telling. I tend to have my happy hour around 4:30 and meal around 5:30, so I'm completely detoxed and digesting by the time I lay in bed. Plus the dark and cool room thing.

Hope this is helpful in some way!
Last Edit: 22 Jul 2020 09:19 by shargrol.
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Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 09:27 #112761

I'll weigh in:

1) Have you slept well in the past 10 days? Yes, I have.

2) How do you define sleeping well? (ie how many and what kind of interruptions are permissible before it becomes sleeping badly?) I define sleeping well as being able to get to sleep quickly and stay asleep for extended periods but not necessarily all night.

3) How do you define sleeping badly? The opposite - not being able to get to sleep or waking up often during the night and staying awake for extended periods.

3a) Do you regularly use a home remedy or pharmacy remedy to help you sleep? No, though in the past I've tried a few. They never seem to work well. For me, the best home remedy is exercise and dealing with the shit that comes up every day when it comes up, not letting stuff occupy mind space over longer periods.

4) If/when you wake up at night are you anxious? No, unless there is some major crisis occurring in my life or the life of a loved one.

5) Are you similarly anxious when awake during the day? (ie is anxiety just kind of a baseline no matter what?) I'm not usually anxious but I do have periods of high energy that are related to thinking of how to do something I want to do either work-related or personal. Some might call this anxiety but I call it "useful energy."

6) Anything else I like shargrol's comment about how much athletes sleep every day. That is, indeed, telling.
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Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 12:19 #112763

I seem to have discovered the hidden population of people who sleep well!! lol
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Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 13:47 #112765

well, let's not jinx it! :D :)
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Do you sleep well? 22 Jul 2020 21:38 #112767

I remember a radio program about sleep, hosted by Jeff Warren. He did this thing where he slept when he felt tired, did not use electricity for lights, and basically just followed the natural rhythm of the world. After a week or two, he got into what was apparently a common pattern until recent times: sleeping until 1or 2 am, then waking for several hours, then sleeping again. So maybe forcing a "full night's" sleep is not the natural thing and you should take advantage of the mid-night wakefulness?
Last Edit: 22 Jul 2020 21:39 by Tom Otvos.
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Do you sleep well? 23 Jul 2020 06:31 #112768

I find this pattern works, but only during the long nights of winter.
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Do you sleep well? 23 Jul 2020 10:29 #112769

1) Have you slept well in the past 10 days?

Mostly, yes. Our new cat has discovered in the last few weeks that bopping us in the head while we're sleeping is a great way to get some attention in the wee hours of the night. But besides that interruption, I'm sleeping surprisingly well. It's normal for me to have a dream that gets too intense most nights, or that ends on it's own, and I wake up either to end the dream, or because it reached that natural end. These naturally ending dreams are very new - it's been more common for my dreams to get stuck in loops, usually with me trying to run away from something and being unable to. It's like my brain is finishing stories now, rather than getting stuck in them?

2) How do you define sleeping well? (ie how many and what kind of interruptions are permissible before it becomes sleeping badly?)

Not sweating/overheating, being able to fall right back asleep if I come to consciousness, and waking up easily without grogginess.

3) How do you define sleeping badly?

Taking a long time to fall asleep, sweating through the night, bad nightmares, having trouble getting out of bed the next morning.

3a) Do you regularly use a home remedy or pharmacy remedy to help you sleep?
and related to that

Sometimes cannabis helps, but I try not to smoke it right before bed too much. It suppresses my dreams, which makes them rebound when I don't use the drug, and I tend to be much groggier the next morning. But if my mind is racing and I can't fall asleep, I find it helps nudge me there.

4) If/when you wake up at night are you anxious?

Depends on the cause. If it's from a nightmare, yes. I had a period where I was having night terrors and waking up my partner when I shouted or cried out.

5) Are you similarly anxious when awake during the day? (ie is anxiety just kind of a baseline no matter what?)

Lately, yes. Good days lately are days where I just have a background of anxiety, rather than a pressing feeling of impending doom.

6) Anything else

Naps are one of my favourite things, and I partake of them liberally.
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Do you sleep well? 26 Jul 2020 17:20 #112774

shargrol wrote:
I find this pattern works, but only during the long nights of winter.

More or less similar for me: if I go to bed before 10, which I like to do, I generally wake up for a while somewhere between 1 and 4, may stay awake happily for an hour or so, and may read or (fairly rarely) get up and do something. I then wake up again for morning between 6 and 7am. If I go to bed later than that I don't have the gap in sleep (though I might wake up briefly, I don't feel alert and lay there thinking or reading).

Summer days here are about 13 hours, winter days about 11 hours. So there isn't the very long/short cycle to deal with.
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Do you sleep well? 26 Jul 2020 17:22 #112775

Benjie OK wrote:
...

Naps are one of my favourite things, and I partake of them liberally.

I have taken up napping in the last several years and now enjoy it very much. I didn't enjoy it when I was younger as I tended to be anxious and fretful. I still associate napping with old people, though. lol.
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Do you sleep well? 27 Jul 2020 20:48 #112779

Fie on this thread! After saying that I have no problem sleeping at all, last night I woke up at around 1:30 and could not for the life of me get back to sleep. I tried a body scan but drifted in like 30 seconds to these crazy images that woke me up in the first place. I don't recall what they were now, but I remember them really bothering me. As soon as I closed my eyes, they were back, over and over again. I don't remember going back to sleep, nor how long I battled this, but it passed eventually. Annoying.
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Do you sleep well? 28 Jul 2020 06:08 #112780

I swear any time I say something is always/never like this/that the opposite happens just to prove me wrong. Lol.
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