Welcome!

Have fun!

Have a good trip. We'll be up to all sorts of mischief while you are gone.

"Yes, please do the mischief while I'm gone " -Chris

I don't want to be selfish, so I'll try to save some mischief leftovers for you.

(What's life without whimsy?)

The leftovers will be two weeks old...

But mischief doesn't get stale, does it?

I don't know. You'd have to check the label.

It keeps longer in a dark, cool, dry place; e.g. my sense of humor.

Haha! You're so cool, Jackson

Whew, made it!



(I was a little scared by the site saying there was 96 people online, but I got over it.)

First post!

Yay, new site!

Not contributing much, but still happily checking in when I can. I dig the new system, very nice! : )

Hey! I'm Iago, 26, brazilian. I was not invited but jumped in with the forum move. Hope I don't get kicked out because of that!
Maybe some people here will remember me from the Baptist's Head forum and the Open Enlightenment comment section, where I used to post as "Pied Piper" (it's good to see Ona, Florian and Alex here!) During the last couple of years I lurked intensively on KFD and DhO (thus some of you are familiar to me - like kate, cmarti and awouldbehipster). I got to know the Refugees very recently (through a link on oeith.co.uk), and lurked for a few days before the move.

I've studied anthropology on college, but 'dropped out' after getting the degree. Since then I'm learning music, prototyping / eletronics for artistic purposes, dancing and capoeira (afro-brazilian dance / martial art / game), some yoga recently, etc. Also I'm a long-time reader and enthusiast of schizoanalysis (a french "school" of philosophy). I live in a sort of community with many friends (some from anarcho-punk background), five cats and a huge yard. It's very cheap to live this way so I do some random freelances eventually to keep going.

A few years ago I was into Chaos Magic, the DIY non-tradition of western magick, mainly reading and theorizing magick instead of really-really doing it. Until I found the (now defunct) Baptist's Head, and there I understood that the "Great Work" of the traditional magickians (awakening) was actually something you could acomplish, with (relatively) predictable results. Then people at the Baptist's Head pointed me to MCTB. I spent many months fascinated, reading the pragmatic dharma foruns and again practicing very little (my practice then was mostly surrender to the Guardian Angel, "Core Pratice" baptist's head style, and almost no samatha). 40 minutes daily sits, missing a day here and there, struggling to develop the necessary discipline.

Then I got to a 10-day Goenka course and had my ass kicked by vipassana. Strong painful emotions coming to the daylight, sadness, anguish, fear, getting worse the more I sat. This gave me some interesting insights (like a moment when some sadness went suddently away by the realisation that it was simply 'a body' that was suffering, and not 'me'). But I just got some relief on the tenth day, when we got to practice metta and, finally allowing myself to engage on content, I cried. After the retreat I was in an incredible mood, enjoying the greater concentration and clarity, but I lacked the courage to keep practicing. My reasoning went as following: as everything indicates, I'm not dark-nighting, because of no recent or past AP event I can recall. By what I can tell, my sits begin at the first naña as usual. So, my ass is getting kicked by pre-dukkha-nañas territory, probably 3 Characteristics. If I'm not able to handle early territory, supposed to be easy, I'm not ready yet to engage the Great Work.

Many months pass. I get depressed (still, I think, no DN; mild depression was my default state for years). Following synchronicities and a remarcable dream, I launch myself on a 3000km hitchhiking trip. At the amazon forest I drink ayahuasca (a psychoative indian beverage) many times and solve some issues, learn stuff about sorcery, the universe, etc. At the last session I asked the spirits to show me something beyond everything I've ever seen. Then at some point I realize I'm in front of a veil, and the spirits ask me if I want the veil to be lifted. After thinking for a while, I choose not to lift it, deciding that I'll lift the veil through meditation. I felt it was the best choice. As soon as I could I went back to a Goenka retreat. Sitting was far easier this time. When I felt sad I simply cried, as mindful as I could. I came back with a lot clearer understanding of the workings and wonders of equanimity. A whole layer of my anxiety was seen through and dissolved; this allowed me to resume abdominal breathing (I couldn't before) - it seems like a muscular tension ring on my tummy melt away by sheer insight. Since then (3 months ago) I'm back with daily practice, 1h-2h, and determined to continue. Still pre-AP as far as I know. I went on this time with Goenka's body scanning, because the tension-ring event impressed me.

I'm plenty of time to practice, what limits me is a severe lack of discipline. Since the amazon trips, I began doing some devotional magick with deities, trying to break some knots that doesn't allowed me to grow. I'm happy anyway I'm being able to keep a decent & regular vipassana practice, and it's giving many fruits in my life.

I look foward so I can learn with all of you.

with metta,
Iago

Welcome Lago!

Honestly, I doubt someone could drink ayahuasca many times and not be past A&P. I have >no< personal experience, so take it for what it's worth. I'll bet you were dark nighting and now you could be setting stage for that kind of calm accepting practice that leads to deepening equanimity and beyond. Ultimately mapping doesn't matter, it's always about returning to the experience of the present moment, but be sure to leave yourself open to possibilities you haven't considered!

Welcome Iago, glad to have you here. Sounds like you've had quite an adventure to kick off an even more remarkable one!

Thank you all!

Re. me being DNing or no: re-reading my introduction, and trying to cast an unfamiliar eye on it, it really seems so. When it get down to details, I find it hard it to be. It's tempting to atribute my depression to DN, but at the same time, I can see how awful eating habits, lack of exercise (and sex) and abuse of psychoatives (mild ones, mind you, but many of them), coupled with some emotional traumas from teenage (and the regular ones from childhood) could cast me into a durable dark mood. Oh, also, no remarkable mystical experience on past (childhood/teenage) that I'm able to remember. Still, I've began drinking ayahuasca only on recent years, and largely after solving many of these problems, so I could have gotten into DN afterwards and not noticed it because I always used to be a mess. This would imply passing through AP without one singular memorable "peak momment", through ayahuasca produce some effects similar to "dissolving everything", and also "meeting the light". It would explain the sadness-anguish-fear storm at the first retreat. There's more stuff that don't match, but let it be... There are implications, but ultimately... I think the best way to be sure is to develop my visionary hability and divine information from deities or angels or anything, directly. And keep practicing.

Metta!

Hi!

I like the looks of this place. Glad to be here

Thanks. Been pretty busy lately, mostly lurking here and there when online. It's a lovely evening in Vermont. A bit muggy, bugs chirping, birds calling. Maybe thunder coming. Quin Wa and sauteed veggies going down well, followed by a Sierra Nevada Torpedo. A couple of three-four year olds playing, neighbor and i hanging out in back yard. Life is a big mysterious something. Part of me wishes I knew what was going on. Most of me is quite pleased that I don't

Hey everyone, I'm Russell. I've got my journal at KFD. I am pretty new to all of this compared to most on here. My story in a nutshell = Got sick- > led to crippling anxiety which still lingers today. It lead me to finding a different way to deal with it. I started shamatha practice and accidentally crossed 1st A&P of maybe Nov last year. Realized I needed a teacher because my anxiety started getting worse. Got a teacher (Ron Crouch) and have since gotten 1st and 2nd path (in May I think) and I am working towards 3rd. Somehow I have moved pretty quickly through this without any retreats or anything. Just strong resolutions and momentum. This part of the path has been tricky (confusing) for me but I am doing my best to not care Happy to join another place where we can all help each other. I, for one, have benefited greatly from these online sangas. I am trying to get a small pragmatic group together in Austin (not having much luck) here soon.