Advising Friends on Meditation Teachers

Hi all,

so I have a friend who has a meditation practice but hasn't done it in a tradition or a meditation group, with a teacher etc, and wants to do a more dedicated, directed practice. In conversation I mentioned that I found it really useful to have a regular teacher and talked about my experiences with that, and he asked me what I would advise in terms of finding a teacher. I'm not sure what to say overall - I haven't discussed the Pragmatic approach really because I'm always cagey of it unless I know people are already into that approach ("I plan to be enlightened, and you can too!") though I don't want to close off that avenue and will mention it, but thought of also including some other options... at the same time I don't want my advice to sound too confusing by mentioning like a million different possibilities requiring research. One thing I'd thought of mentioning was suggesting he do a bit of research, find a tradition that had some appeal and look at what groups were around - but one of the problems of a lot of groups, as I think lots of you will have found, is that basically there's no way to get ongoing one-on-one discussion about your practice with the teacher. Has anyone else been in this situation? Are there good teachers around who do Skype at a reasonable cost and who are appropriate for someone who may not necessarily start out (at least) coming at it from a Pragmatic/Hardcore/whatever perspective?

Some Zen places include the tradition of dokusan-- practice interviews with the teacher. It may be more of a Rinzai thing than a Soto thing; I don't know. It's part of the curriculum at the local Pacific Zen Institute; and there are a few lineal associates scattered around, including Susan Murphy in Australia.

Thanks Kate! I had actually thought of Zen cos I knew they do dokusan though I wasn't sure whether it would be like a conversation about your practice experiences or koan or what... actually Susan Murphy is the reason I got into Buddhism, and thence meditation, in the first place when I read an interview with her and then her book Upside Down Zen!

A big difference will be what appeals to her aesthetically and her aim - good teaching aside, she'll need to feel a kinship and interest in the approach. If Zen feels austere and cold to her, there's Tibetan Buddhism. She may be more into a yogic tradition, or Taoism. Then there's the good teaching part. The trained teacher of a tradition (Zen, Tibetan, etc) will probably be competent for most purposes. One can always supplement an adequate teacher who isn't very deep with occasional online sessions with someone who is teaching for awakening, if that becomes the goal. I don't know too many people (if any) who sign up with one system/teacher and do not talk to anyone else*. One can also supplement with retreats and such. Really the main thing is to have an actual real practice, daily, at home, by yourself using a really basic technique. Classes or teacher meetings give some inspiration and encouragement to do that. YMMV

*(Even within the church, those with deeper prayer practices often go to confession or for spiritual direction to one of the convents or monasteries once a month or so, to get feedback from someone with a different perspective than their parish priest might have.)

I had a great Skype session with Kenneth Folk when I was in the same position as your friend. Very helpful.