awouldbehipster's practice notes

I'm also beginning to reconcile "the Controversy" for myself through practice. I agree with Jack Kornfield that the Absolute (or, "awakened consciousness" as he put it) is a multifaceted jewel. The fruition/cessation of the Burmese Vipassana tradition and some Mahayana traditions emphasize the "no-self' facet, while Dzogchen and Advaita emphasize the awareness/cognizance facet. There is also compassion/love, peace/liberation, source/potential, etc. Why not explore them all? Why argue about which facet is THE facet, when all are there for us to experience?

That's all for now.

~Jackson

"The more I practice, the more I come to realize that Nirvana (Pali "Nibbana) is not just some absolute reality achieved by cessation. Rather, it is the Source - that from which the myriad things come forth and that to which they return. It is the Unmanifest; Awareness without an object. Pure potential."


Nice. Really, really nice, Jackson.

Hi Jackson,
Regarding posts # 24 & 25
I have nothing to add... just a big smile and an agreeing nod.

I've been noticing lately how quickly mind states change. Not just meditative states, but even more so for the everyday flavors of thoughts and sensations experienced throughout the day. How quickly I can go from feeling happy to feeling sad, from feeling agitated to feeling calm. One after another - state after state after state. The same is true for things like opinions and beliefs. None of these things can be grasped or controlled, at least not for long.

One of my favorite teachings of the Buddha is that of the Eight Worldly Winds, which are: praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute. Just as the winds of the earth change directions beyond our control, it is likewise with the Eight Worldly Winds. Grasping pleasant states and avoiding unpleasant states is inherently frustrating. Applying mindfulness to the process allows us to identify each process, which then provides an opportunity to choose our response. The more we practice, the more we are able to let go and trust in the currents of life as they are.

At least that's what I'm finding to be true. So, that's what I'm attempting to practice throughout the day. And in doing so, I hope to relax into the natural quality of equanimity that arises as I practice fully surrendering to the process.

The dharma is good.

~Jackson

I've been wanting to post something like the following for quite some time.

Sometime in late 2004, when Sarah (now my wife) had just started dating, I had been spending a lot of time reflecting an philosophizing about the nature of experience. I remember thinking about how everything I see, taste, touch, smell, and hear is dependent upon my nervous system functioning properly. If for some reason I was injured, resulting in my losing all the feeling in my right arm, I would no longer be able to feel when my hand touched the hand of another.

This was significant for me at the time, for I was feeling quite alone in the world - save for my new relationship with Sarah. However, I thought that if my ability to feel another's touch or another's voice depended upon my nervous system alone, than the only thing that I ever hear or feel is just myself. I came to the realization (if you can call it that) that one can only ever experience their self - never anything "external" - as my nerves just produce the feeling, not the actual contact of matter to matter.

This, as you might guess, was very depressing. For someone who really wants to foster a connection with another, the thought that this may never actually happen for anyone (most importantly, me) was a terrible one.

I can see now why the Buddhist teaching of Interdependence, along with Alan Watts' insistence that the Universe and me are non-fundamentally separate, gave me hope. I can say for certain that my meditation practice has allowed me to experience the fact that I am not merely an isolated bag of nerves. If feeling others is really feeling myself, that's all right. There is no clear line that can be drawn where you end and I begin. Realizing this, an intimacy with my environment (including animals and people) is ever deepening.

That's beautiful Jackson, thanks for sharing. Certainly something I can empathize with.

Just watched this short TED talk on mirror neurons, thought it might add a little to the discussion.

www.ted.com/talks/vs_ramachandran_the_ne...ed_civilization.html

I'd be interested to find out if what he says toward the end of the talk about anesthetizing your arm has actually been tested...

I just spent 15 minutes in an empty conference room during my break, practicing choiceless awareness. Taking a directive from Kenneth, all I've been practicing is non-manipulation of my experience. Over the last week or so, doing this revealed what he calls review phase 'A', which is an effortless flow of experience through the ñanas of the Progress of insight, from the A&P to Fruition and back around. Today, review phase 'B' kicked in without any prompting. As I sat mindfully, my consciousness moved up the jhanic arc through every stage that is currently accessible to me, and then started back down.

I made it through the first 8 jhanas as usual, and then up into the Suddavasa territory. I moved from 1st to 2nd to 3rd to 4th. I stayed in 4th Suddavasa for only a minute or so, and then the process began to reverse itself. I moved down to 3rd, to 2nd, to 1st, and then the alarm on my phone went off signaling the end of my break.

This sit revealed to me that naturally access 19 of the 20 strata of mind. No effort other than the intention to be mindful. Pretty cool stuff. I don't have time to provide detailed descriptions of my experience with these jhanas, but I'll make an effort to do so at another time. My experience of them is very much like Kenneth describes on the '20 Major Strata of Mind' page.

There is something very humbling about not manipulating my experience. The jhanas just show up without my prompting, showing me just how futile it is for me to try and force any further progress. If anything, this Jackson guy just gets in the way. This Jackson guy must not be all there is to me.

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then, I contradict myself.
I am large, I contain multitudes." (Walt Whitman)

~Jackson

Hi Jackson,

I did this myself today and had the same experience. I found the mind flowing through the strata so naturally and unhindered that it felt so right to let the mind do it's own thing. Whenever I manipulate my experience, by trying to get a fruition or getting deeper into a jhana etc there is always that slight desire for something. This practice felt so peaceful and calm and so right that I think it's what I'll be doing from now on. The letting go part feels very liberating. Nothing to achieve.

"Hi Jackson,

I did this myself today and had the same experience. I found the mind flowing through the strata so naturally and unhindered that it felt so right to let the mind do it's own thing. Whenever I manipulate my experience, by trying to get a fruition or getting deeper into a jhana etc there is always that slight desire for something. This practice felt so peaceful and calm and so right that I think it's what I'll be doing from now on. The letting go part feels very liberating. Nothing to achieve. "

Yes, though I would say that there's nothing for "me" to achieve. And yet, progress continues. Experience deepens, expands, becoming more inclusive. It all happens on it's own. At this point, any attempted interference with the process is of no help. It's more of a hindrance than anything. Time to just sit back, relax, and watch reality as it Buddha-fies itself

~Jackson

"Yes, though I would say that there's nothing for "me" to achieve. And yet, progress continues. Experience deepens, expands, becoming more inclusive. It all happens on it's own. At this point, any attempted interference with the process is of no help. It's more of a hindrance than anything. Time to just sit back, relax, and watch reality as it Buddha-fies itself "-awouldbehipster

I love this thread and the wisdom I find here.

Kenneth

Buddha-fy away!!!!!

""Yes, though I would say that there's nothing for "me" to achieve. And yet, progress continues. Experience deepens, expands, becoming more inclusive. It all happens on it's own. At this point, any attempted interference with the process is of no help. It's more of a hindrance than anything. Time to just sit back, relax, and watch reality as it Buddha-fies itself "-awouldbehipster

I love this thread and the wisdom I find here.

Kenneth"

Thank you, Kenneth! It means a lot.

"I just got back from taking no-dog for a walk. How sweet it is.

For those who are unfamiliar with my colloquialism, "taking no-dog for a walk" means to dwell as the Witness while taking a leisurely stroll. It's one my favorite things to do on my fifteen minutes breaks from work."

Would you be able to expand on exactly what the technique was, Jackson?

"Would you be able to expand on exactly what the technique was, Jackson?"

Sure thing, Tomo.

I'm sure you've read some of what I'm going to say in other parts of the forum, but I'm going to elaborate a little for the sake of anyone else who might read this.

The "no-dog" is what Kenneth refers to as the "Witness." It is a trans-jhanic / trans-ñanic state accessed through self-enquiry: "Who am I?" Asking this question leads to a fundamental sense of presence, which is felt when saying the words, "I am." By absorbing one's consciousness in consciousness itself, the no-dog (Witness) is reached. It is very pleasant, as it's impossible to get wrapped up in personal drama when absorbed in transpersonal consciousness.

Once you get the hang of the no-dog, you can access it by simply remembering it. It's like remembering that you have a left foot, so your attention goes to your left foot - "Ah, there's my foot." It's the same with the Witness. After a while, you just know where to look.

So then, to take no-dog for a walk, I simply remember my own "I Am-ness" while taking a walk around town. It is always a highly enjoyable experience. And since it takes a good amount of concentration to remain absorbed in the no-dog, it works both toward developmental attainment and non-dual realization. The best of both worlds, if you ask me.

Helpful?
~Jackson

Climbed up and down the jhanic arc a couple times before falling asleep last night, and also through one complete cycle during my 15 minute morning break at work. Still experiencing 12 distinct jhanas. Some murky territory is being accessed just beyond my usual ceiling, but nothing clear or stable enough to call a jhana. It is as though the energetic force that moves my consciousness through the jhanas is in the process of diggin a new pathway up to the 5th Suddhavasa jhana, but hasn't been able to crack it yet.

Fine by me. I'm just along for the ride and enjoying the show. Besides, I couldn't rush it if I wanted to - not at this point.

"energetic force that moves my consciousness through the jhanas"
-- wthat that is is still a mystery, right?

""energetic force that moves my consciousness through the jhanas"
-- wthat that is is still a mystery, right? "

As far as I know, yes.

For the Taoist, it is Chi (or Qi).
For the contemplative Christian, it is the Holy Spirit.
For the Hindu or Vedantist, it is Kundalini energy.
For the Buddhist, it is the activity of Impermanence.

And so on, and so forth. Very mysterious indeed.

Watching the Super Bowl in 2nd Gear.

I've been reading "Be As You Are: The Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi." This is, by far, one of the best books for the path of awakening ever written.

The excerpt below really jumped out at me...

Q: Is there no dehatma buddhi [I-am-the-body idea] for the jnani ["knower of the reality," i.e. awakened one]?

A: There is the sensation and there is also the dehatma buddhi. The latter is common to both jnani and ajnani with this difference, that the ajnani thinks only the body is myself, whereas the jnani knows all is of the Self, or all this is Brahman. If there be pain let it be. It is also part of the Self. The Self is poorna [perfect].

Q: I see you doing things. How can you say that you never perform actions?

A: The radio sings and speaks, but if you open it you will find no one inside. Similarly, my existence is like the space; though this body speaks like the radio, there is no one inside as a doer.

Q: I find this hard to understand. Could you please elaborate on this?

A: Various illustrations are given in books to enable us to understand how the jnani can live and act without the mind, although living and acting require the use of the mind. The potter's wheel goes on turning round even after the potter has ceased to turn it because the pot is finished. In the same, the electric fan goes on revolving for some minutes after we switch off the current. The prarabdha [predestined karma] which created the body will make it go through whatever activities it was meant for. But the jnani goes through all these activities without the notion that he is the doer of them. (p. 38)

This is GOOD stuff.

"
The excerpt below really jumped out at me...

Q: Is there no dehatma buddhi [I-am-the-body idea] for the jnani ["knower of the reality," i.e. awakened one]?

A: There is the sensation and there is also the dehatma buddhi. The latter is common to both jnani and ajnani with this difference, that the ajnani thinks only the body is myself, whereas the jnani knows all is of the Self, or all this is Brahman. If there be pain let it be. It is also part of the Self. The Self is poorna [perfect].

Q: I see you doing things. How can you say that you never perform actions?

A: The radio sings and speaks, but if you open it you will find no one inside. Similarly, my existence is like the space; though this body speaks like the radio, there is no one inside as a doer.

Q: I find this hard to understand. Could you please elaborate on this?

A: Various illustrations are given in books to enable us to understand how the jnani can live and act without the mind, although living and acting require the use of the mind. The potter's wheel goes on turning round even after the potter has ceased to turn it because the pot is finished. In the same, the electric fan goes on revolving for some minutes after we switch off the current. The prarabdha [predestined karma] which created the body will make it go through whatever activities it was meant for. But the jnani goes through all these activities without the notion that he is the doer of them. (p. 38)

This is GOOD stuff."

Wow.
I especially like the parts about the radio having no one inside and the fan still going after the current is turned off.
If the big bang theorey is correct and the universe is still constanly expanding and burning out, then we are in the middle of an explosion.

Another noteworthy excerpt from Be As You Are...

Q: If 'I' also is an illusion, who then casts off the illusion?

A: The 'I' casts off the illusion of 'I' and yet remains 'I'. Such is the paradox of Self-realization. The realized do not see any contradiction in it.

Practice lately has been nothing other than recognizing my original nature in every possible moment. The 'goal' has changed significantly for me. Rather than practice fervently until some magical enlightenment experience in the future, why not just make remembrance the goal? When remembrance occurs, there is no further task and no further development.

Why wait for an event based on some hypothetical 'future'? Why not remember your true nature now?

I had last week off from work and spent most of my time looking for homes with my wife (to no avail, as of yet anyway). I have spent a good deal of time practicing as well.

I've been noticing that I have a tendency to attempt to escape into the Ultimate instead of participating in the relative. There is a subtle, yet not un-powerful, aversion to life as a human being. "Why get caught up in the human drama?" it asks, "Why not just see it as a dream?" But I'm seeing more and more that this is just another way for my scared little self to try and be safe. The Transcendent has become a defense mechanism for delusion itself.

The irony is that the more I come to realize the true state of affairs, the less I am able to shield myself from experience of any kind. Becoming more and more identified with primordial awareness means that more and more awareness is introduced into our lives, which used to be mostly asleep. More awareness means more experience. More experience means... more potential for suffering.

I'm beginning to think that the bridge between here (where I am) and full awakening lies in the Heart. The Heart is the bridge. I can understand why many Buddhist believe that compassion, as well as cognizance, is an intrinsic quality of our Buddha Nature. I've decided to dedicate some time to explore this territory - to awaken the Heart, raw and exposed.

EDIT: Grammar.