The Witness: Turning the Light Around

Part 4 of my Buddhist Geeks series on technology of enlightenment went live this morning:

"The Witness: Turning the Light Around" (transcript only)

Interviewed by Joel Groover

bit.ly/cLveHU

Leave me a comment on BGeeks if you feel like it!

Kenneth

One thing I really get from reading this interview is that I really don't "get" 2nd gear at all. Maybe it's just a matter of practice. I can get as far as "who is it that's noticing these sensations, who is doing all this first gear practice, who's doing the noting," and then I get to a very dualistic place, like I'm separate from the sensations, but I know that's not it. Any tips? I'll just go back to the cushion.... Anyway thank you Kenneth.

"One thing I really get from reading this interview is that I really don't "get" 2nd gear at all. Maybe it's just a matter of practice. I can get as far as "who is it that's noticing these sensations, who is doing all this first gear practice, who's doing the noting," and then I get to a very dualistic place, like I'm separate from the sensations, but I know that's not it. Any tips? I'll just go back to the cushion.... Anyway thank you Kenneth. "

I feel the same way in the sense that I believe Kenneth is pointing to something I haven't really experienced, or maybe something I have only experienced on occasion and certainly don't have ready access to now. Just asking the question "Who Am I?" and paying attention as much as possible definitely causes a shift, where there has been a stepping back in the direction toward something more primary. However, my sense is that it's just going to take a lot more practice to truly understand what Kenneth is talking about--the proverbial 1,000 hours of practice. Anyway, back to the cushion, right?

"Just asking the question "Who Am I?" and paying attention as much as possible definitely causes a shift"

Exactly. Thank you. Back to the cushion.

This is the first article that helped to soften me up the perspective of 2nd and 3rd gear when I was a hardcore conservative theravadan. Still had tremendous resistance and confusion about it, but for the first time I could somehow see that there was some inkling of sense to it.....

It's a great and entertaining story about a spiritual seekers journey, as well.

Not Lost, Not Found - After the long search, a path of homecoming. by Joel Agee
www.joelagee.com/tri_W08_058_063_agee.pdf

Interestingly, one Burmese Sayadaw did mention something like this to me. The Mahasi-style vipassana retreat at the Tathagata Meditation Center in November was taught by Pannathami Sayadaw. I kept on reporting pain in my right leg and thigh to the Sayadaws for over half the retreat. At one point I mentioned to Pannathami Sayadaw that I'd tried radiating metta at the pain since it was the antidote to anger and hatred. He told me to look at who was experiencing this hatred and examine that. He brought it up again in his dhamma talk that night.

What happens when you're aware that you are aware? Do you ever have the feeling of being watched by something inside? Feel that there's a witnessing of your every move, every utterance, every thought and emotion? Let's say you get really, really angry at someone. Subtly, behind all that anger, isn't there a little witnessing thing? A little hint of an awareness that sees you being angry? It's not the personal YOU, because that entity is busy being very angry. It's something more subtle, but clearly present and.... it's watching you. Witnessing.

It's The Witness!

"
What happens when you're aware that you are aware? Do you ever have the feeling of being watched by something inside? Feel that there's a witnessing of your every move, every utterance, every thought and emotion? Let's say you get really, really angry at someone. Subtly, behind all that anger, isn't there a little witnessing thing? A little hint of an awareness that sees you being angry? It's not the personal YOU, because that entity is busy being very angry. It's something more subtle, but clearly present and.... it's watching you. Witnessing.

It's The Witness!



"

When my father died of cancer--he had just left us--we were all crying at his bedside. It was a moment of terrible anguish but also letting go and relief for him, that his suffering was finally over. As I was hugging my relatives and crying, there it was--something observing all of it that had no stake in it whatsoever. It was quite disconcerting. It didn't seem right: Shouldn't I be 100 percent invested in this experience, with no trace of detachment whatsoever? It's very hard to put into words.

I think a good analogy is one of those dreams where you're a kind of disembodied presence seeing stuff going on, rather than having your sense of mind/body/self being present in and participating in the dream. In those kinds of dreams, "you" are kind of just an abstract, passive viewer, kind of like a glorified video camera.

But, you can also have that same sense of abstract passive viewing in everyday life; your mind/body becomes just so much more stuff to be passively viewed; "you" are identifying with the abstract subject that sees all sensations, including mind/body sensations, emotions and intentions and thoughts etc., move by. See life through the same perspective you already know from those self-less dreams and I think that's the witness.

That's my current notion anyway. I'm not sure how it squares completely with the sense of "I, I" one is supposed to feel from asking "who am I", etc.

"Let's say you get really, really angry at someone. Subtly, behind all that anger, isn't there a little witnessing thing? A little hint of an awareness that sees you being angry? It's not the personal YOU, because that entity is busy being very angry. It's something more subtle, but clearly present and.... it's watching you. Witnessing.

"

This is the *first* time that something (about Witness) has been worded in such a way that I sat back and said "Oh". I do think I have felt that detached entity in the anger context. Recently.

Hmm.

And at first you might think, "Hey, maybe that's the real me!" Is that the thing that controls? The center point? Do not be fooled. It's another process, more subtle, not as easy to see, but you can objectify this other thing, too. That's practicing in Kenneth's second gear!

Tomo, maybe your anger arose due to your watching that PBS special on the Buddha's lfe