Questions about my "non-practice"

Hello all,

I'm just currius about my understanding of this practice, so I'd be interested in any input.

Mainly I'm not sure whether I'm doing the 2nd or 3rd gear. I'm of the belief that my practice has dissolved into the practice of non-practice, and that I just surrender to the way things are.

But anyways, I just find that I have little interest in trying to cultivate anything these days related to meditative concentration and mindstates. After the turning of the light of awareness onto itself was pointed out to me a about year ago, I started to experience that things could just flow through me without me having to react to them in anyway, the image coming to my mind would be something like a bottle without any bottom in it, so that things just pass through without getting blocked or clogged up, and I experience this quite beneficially, compared to for instance trying to dismantle unwanted mindstates, or trying to get somewhere, or any kind of other reaction which I think back on as some sort of frustrating snowballing-effect of reaction, counter-reaction, counter-counter-reaction etc.

I imagine that this could just be something one could keep surrendering to for a lifetime. Still I don't have the sense that I have completed any development, but whenever that sense of not being complete starts to nag me, I quickly notice that it appears within the space of awareness, and that awareness doesn't need anything to be complete in it self, and that really takes the edge out of that nagging sense and it usually quickly dissolves.

(cont.)

I still do Just Sitting meditation, yoga, listening to youtube satsang, read alot about nondualistic practice, etc, so I'm naturally drawn towards this inquiry, and I guess its some sort of natural inclination to want to give it space, deepen in it (which is a paradox I'm comfortable with), and just being enthusiastic about what a relief surrendering to awareness is and enjoying what other people have to say about it.

Sometimes I Imagine that eventually it will be necessary to go back to developmental practice, but other times that just seems like a hazzle I'm not going to become interested in again. Looking back at those times where I've for short periods (only a few days every now and then) gone back to developmental mode again during this year, that often seems like some sort mild panic, fear or temporarily lack of surrender that quickly dissolves again and once again I surrender.

Any comments, reflections, tips, outlining of potential scenarios or something like that?

Thank you!

Hi Chris,

The obvious thing here is that if there were no inclination to developmental practice you would not ask the question. From a non dual pov if developmental practice is meant to happen it will happen. Something Kenneth has often said is that when there is a loss of interest with a state we move on, when this is the case developmental practice and surrender can co-exist. This is because it is all part of the movement everything in its own time including your examination and answer to this question.

Now with all that said mild panic and fear might make an interesting enquiry.
All these is light and off the cuff coments, not to be taken too seriously .