The Subtleties of 2nd Gear

Hi, I've been reading DhO and KFD from time to time for a long time now, though haven't been actively participating in discussions. Just a quick summarized intro here, because I wrote in much more details in my own 100+ pages document detailing some of my experiences and insights and conversations at www.box.net/shared/3verpiao63 . This is just a sharing, however I still feel that I am at the beginning of my path and appreciate any pointers, advice, comments. I started practicing anapanasati and vipassana back when I was 15 (about 5 years ago) and quickly, starting from my 2nd meditation, got into the jhanas and nanas, including periods of tremendous bliss pervading body, seeing bright lights, and all kinds of nanas/jhanas related stuff. However my shift in practice and interest from 1st gear to 2nd gear happened when I was 18, where my main practice became to inquire on 'Before birth, Who am I?' With an intense desire to know the truth of my Being, I directly experienced with absolute certainty and doubtlessness the pure presence and sense of existence of I AM, in February 2010. This is different from merely an experience or recognition of I AM which I had plenty before. After this realization, I recognized that there are subtleties even to this timeless I AM perspective. I can see my experience mapped with the Four Deepening Aspects of I AM that my spiritual friend and teacher Thusness/ByPasser told me: 1) the aspect of impersonality, 2) the aspect of the degree of luminosity, 3) the aspect of dissolving the need to re-confirm and abide in I AMness and understanding why such a need is irrelevant, 4) the aspect of experiencing effortlessness.

In other words, even though I AM is ever-present, timeless and hence not developmental, there are various phases in which the I AM experience matures. For example, a month or a few months afterwards, I started to experience the impersonality and universal nature of Awareness.

As I said earlier I still consider my experience as '˜beginner', far from full maturation'¦ my experience is still far from complete stability, and would appreciate any pointers or advice on '˜stabilizing' the experience of Presence.

However all these that I've said above, I still do not consider as 3rd gear. I understand them as the maturation of the 2nd Gear experience. I had glimpses of 3rd gear occasionally, where any sense of a space, an awareness, that is 'here' in contrast to 'there', or any sense of sounds, sights, being 'there' is utterly dissolved. Everything, sounds, sights, etc, are experienced not as '˜there' but as 'here' '“ Presence-Awareness is experiencing sights and sounds and phenomena FROM and AS those phenomena themselves, rather than from a separate vantage point. Background and foreground becomes indistinguishable in Oneness. These glimpses of non-dual for me are still not happening very frequently, only occasional.

My understanding is that the deepening of experience from I AM to Non Dual (and further'¦) are simply the lifting of various subtle veils. This applies to all timeless truth/perspectives/experiences/realizations - if a truth is timeless, it cannot be 'developed', but it can be 'discovered' by lifting the obscuring veils. It is the same experience of Awareness, but if the construct/veil of personality/individuality is stripped off, we experience the Impersonal/Universal nature. If the construct of subject-object duality is stripped off, we experience Oneness. And so on'¦

That is all I can think of for now. Appreciate any views, comments and advices.

That is, the sense of self, even the very sense of a localized personal witness dissolved into an impersonal space '“ a space that isn't owned by any one or any objects, much like space contains chairs but isn't owned by chair, so the One Self contains you and others but isn't owned by any one, everything manifests from That. That localized sense of self or witness dissolved into a universal witness that is simultaneously nowhere and everywhere. In AugustLeo's practice journal, he once wrote something like, the 'I' dissolved from I AM leaving only the (impersonal) space of AMness. This succinctly puts it in words. As this impersonality aspect matures, there is a sense of you and everyone and everything being the manifestation of One Life, and all there is is surrending to Thy Will, the Will of the Source. Everyone and everything is the spontaneous functioning of the Source. You do not live your life, you are being lived.

Apart from the aspect of impersonality, there is also the aspect of the intensity of luminosity. That is, how deeply the sense of clarity and awareness is being experienced. It can be so intense, awareness can become so bright and vivid that you literally live in a state of amazement and wonder at every seemingly ordinary things, even like eating, walking, etc. (this experience later reminded me of Eckhart Tolle's awakening description in The Power of Now) It can be so amazing that you can't help but smile, there may even be tears of bliss and wonder (which will put you in awkward situation if you are in a social setting). I do not have stable experiences of such, however, sometimes they come but eventually they pass '“ sometimes I still get lost in thought, but sometimes I can be so intoxicated in Presence that all thoughts lose their appeal.

Very interesting post thanks for sharing.

"Thusness/ByPasser " ????????
Dude.

""Thusness/ByPasser " ????????
Dude.
"

Haha... he doesn't like attention (and that's probably got to do with why he named himself ByPasser), but here's a short piece of info about him after Daniel wrote to him to request him for his personal details. He no longer posts in DhO (or KFD).

dharmaoverground.wetpaint.com/account/bypasser

"I am in the finance and investment industries serving as independent/non-executive directors (sort of watchdog) for some listed companies in Singapore.

As for practice, I was initially under the guidance of a Taoist teacher (Gao Shang Tze) in Taiwan but later took my refuge under the Holiness Sakya Trizin. However in actual case, I am a lay practitioner and a non-sectarian. I had my experience of no-dog aka "I AM" at the age of 17 and after the next 25 years is just its unfolding from non-dual to spontaneous perfection.

Was introduced to the forum by xsurf. It is a wonderful site. "