Sugato`s practice journal

Hi everybody

Kennneth suggested me to start my own thread and clearly reporting my practice instead of dirictly claiming my attainments. Before I hadnt so much time on writing due to the job and also it is a little bit diffuclt to write about my experinces (especially in english). So I will try my best: (if there is things one should add when reporting, please tell me)
To start with yesterday I sat for approximatelt one hour
Here is how the jhanas feel like for me


After having sat down the focus was mostly on the feelings around stomach and chest. They were like many small joyfull bubbles spreading over here and there. And the focus was trying to catch them with some effort. Then all smalls joyfull bubbles were collected all over the body and turned into a big one on the stomach. It was steady, so there was no need for effort to hold on to. Then it gradually started to pop out. The air from it was the peacfulness. It spreaded all over the body until it reached the head and third eye. Now the focus is all over the air from the big bubble which is the peacfullness. From the third it trys to reach out in search for more. It goes further and further. Eventually it comes back the place where it started from the third eye and seeing it self from back going further and further. At some point it too vanishes and there is nothing, there is only the trace of it. Then even the trace start to vanish and coming. It is like it knows but doesnt know at the same time. That was a little but uncomfortable so it went back to nothing but peacfullnes and rest. It rested there for the rest of time.

This is lovely, Sugato, and your English is good enough to make your descriptions sound like poetry. Please continue to report in this way!

Whatever happens for you is exactly the right thing to be happening in this moment. Attainments are just ideas overlaid on reality. Reality comes first.

Kenneth

Thanks, That meant alot for me Kenneth.

The day before yesterday a seat of one hour:

Lately I've been doing mostly conncentration practices and hanging around the 8 jhanas (mostly the formless one). So I decided to try the Technique for attaining Pure Land Jhanas.

First I directed my mind toward 8th jhana. Just like I have described on my last post but this time it went very quick and seeing it all happen from "above". Once there I let my eyes flutter and conncentrated on the end of every flicker until I found my self in another state. The sudden feeling of ease and deep plearure was nothing I have experienced before. I compared it to the preivous states but it was nothing like those. It was all over the body and speacially at the chest/heart area. Something suprising was that all bodly intetions were locked of. For example if I wanted to move my hand , it just didnt happen. That felt really solid. The more I sat the more the body felt heavier to the ground as if the gravity got stronger. I liked that state, so I decided to sit there for hours but after 1 hour there were little pain on my arms,shoulders legs. That kind of pain when I wake up middle of the night relizing that I have been sleeping on my arm. If I am right, the blood get blocked, not circulating all the way up to the hand and back to the heart. In order to get out of the state (not because of the pain, I could just ignore it and feel the pleasaure, but 1 hour was to much) I had to direct the mind toward 8th jhana.

When I think about it might be that once in that state the blood circulating in body get slower and as result the metabolism process also get slower.


Sugato

Yesterday:

As soon I sat down I directed the mind toward 8th and fluttered my eyes. After 2-3 times I dirictly found my self in that sate described above.
I relized that I had some attachment to it so I wondered what would come next. After half hour all the focus and energy moved from the whole body to above the forehead and finally to the top of head. It got brighter and the body suddenly felt lighter. As if the gravity got weaker compare to the previous state.
It wasnt as pleasuable as before but more restful. Much more restful than 7th jhana.
It was more mentally than bodly because the focus was vast and the form of the body had almost dissappeared. I remined on that state for almost 50 minutes. In order to get out of that state I had to direct the mind toward 8th jhana and went through the pleasureable state on the way.

Sugato

Today:

I had no idea that it is possible to practice even durinng sleep time. One of my favourite movie called Waking Life is about dreaming and beeing aware while in dream. After reading on August Leos commentary I got more inrested and searched for The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche and Mark Dahlby. Found a part of it on Google books.

As I was reading, I started to notice some vibrating sensation around my face and mostly nose area while looking at the computer screen. So I sat down cross legged with eyes closed. As I focused more and more they started to get intensive vibrating and eventually all gathered on my nose. They turned into pressure. Almost pain. At the same time there was alot of energi and joy going on on my lower body (stomach/chest/legs). The pressure and energi slowly started to fade away into more relaxed state. I noticed some cool sensations on my right hipp spreading over the right leg. After a while it came back to more energetic state. Again the sensation and pressure on my nose came back. I can even notice all that off the cushion clearly.

Sugato

Lately I have felt different. There is no more desire for concentration states and compared to last week I dont as much feel happy. So I wanted to check what is going on when sitting.
A seat for 30 minutes:

Starting with raising and falling of abdomen. Some unpleasant vibrating sensation spreading around my face, mostly eyes nose area. Energi spreading through stomach and up. Very bright on third eye. Energi started to cool down and felt more relaxed. Then the whole "me" was an unpleasant, almost saddness feeling . Trying to find the "location" of this feeling but every where I turn my attention it cannot be found. It is as if it is hidden beyond. So instead I noted the raising and falling of abdomen and what ever would come to my attention.
Then it went back to relaxing and finally to more energetic.

Sugato

It seems that I dont pay any more attention to the maps of insight anymore . It is more about noting while doing conncentration practice. For example today I sat for 25 minutes:

I started to notice the qualities of the first jhana: Instead of being "in it" I noted some pleasant sesnsation on the body and mostly face area. Then going back noting the raising and falling of abdomen. Usually I would resolve to the next jhana but now I was noting until it arised by it self. I noted joy,sudden movement of the body, hearing two people talking outside, anger arised because they were talking too loud. Then noted the transition between to the next jhana were joy and energy on the stomach were connverting to more relaxing feelings all over the body. Then transition to the next jhana took longer time without reaching it. I noted all the relaxing/pleasant feelings, brightness were disappearing and now it was a little harder to note.

Things got weired. I dont have any words to describe it but the sensations and raising and falling of the abdomen were in flux. Hard to describe. But one thing I now was that I was in transition to the fourth jhana and quickly fallinng back to third, second and then opened my eyes.

I have noticed that there is no big difference between concentration and insight.
Insight: Noting, jhana, transition to the next or previous. Concentraion: Jhanas, either they naturally arises in order or resolve. For me that is simple and clear. Also there is much less motivation/desire for achieving anything (i.e path).


Sugato

Nothing from my practice to report, but wanted to say that I am going on 7-days retreat in Muttodaya monnastery on saturday.
On my last retreat I shifted between half hour or 40 minutes walking and 50 minutes sitting meditation all day (exept sleeping, meal, working period and 1 hour rest). So am gonna go with the same schedule. Hopefully before I go to sleep am gonna write a brief report on my practice during the day.

There is also possibility to have 1 hour conversation with one of the monks.
So what do you guys think I should talk/ask about? (my practice during the day? or general questions? insight maps? mushroom culture? show on of the articles written about hardcore and pragmatic dharma?? )

Sugato

Hi Sugato,

I recommend that you decide in advance whether you are going as an academic or a yogi. If you are going as an academic, take your notebook, interview the monk, engage him in discussion about maps, models, and Buddhist culture, and write down everything you learn. But if you are going as a yogi, concentrate on your own practice, only talk to the monk about what is going on in your own mind and body, and keep your journaling to a bare minimum, only recording your direct experience, with little or no reflection or speculation.

It is likely that if you try to combine the two goals, i.e., scholarship and awakening, you won't do either very well, so be clear on your goal for the retreat and stick to it. (If I were you, I would go as a yogi.)

"Hi Sugato,

I recommend that you decide in advance whether you are going as an academic or a yogi. If you are going as an academic, take your notebook, interview the monk, engage him in discussion about maps, models, and Buddhist culture, and write down everything you learn. But if you are going as a yogi, concentrate on your own practice, only talk to the monk about what is going on in your own mind and body, and keep your journaling to a bare minimum, only recording your direct experience, with little or no reflection or speculation.

It is likely that if you try to combine the two goals, i.e., scholarship and awakening, you won't do either very well, so be clear on your goal for the retreat and stick to it. (If I were you, I would go as a yogi.)

"

Hi Kennneth

Yeah, Of course I am going as a yogi. Wanted only to see what was your opinions.

Looks like it is gonna be conversation about my practice.
Thanks

Sugato

Today I decided to ride the jhanic arc while in witness and see how far it can get me without manipulating. While I was examininng closely I noticed something intresting.
Every jhana (except the fourth one) has its specific bodypart/chakra. This might be different for different yogis but this is how it is for me.
In my first post I described briefly how it feels and how it is seen from the perspectiv of focus. That is, the Feelings and Perceptual aspect. Here I will cover the Body aspect.

Starting with first jhana: The area it covers is mostly on the surface of the stomach but very little chest where feelings are floating. Moving to second jhana it goes deep in the stomach (I guess that is what is meant by deep joy), right behind the navel. Then to the third where it is just little beneeth the chest and throat area. That is, not deep enough (like the 2nd) nor on the surface (like the 1st). Now the fourth one has no specific bodypart. It basically cover all parts of the body (both in and out), even though it can be predominant on the head area. This is way it is gateway to path/nibbana/siddhis/formless jhanas, since the knowing (mind) and every bodypart are unified.
Next, the reason way it is called the formless is because the focus has no bodypart as object. But they can still be located. The 5th jhana is front of the third eye and the 6th is right behind. It is in the center of the head. The 7th is inside the head, as if it is empty. If you compare to a ball, where there is nothing but air in it.
Here comes then hard one, the 8th. Frankly speaking I have no idea where excatly it is located. It is somewhere between third eye, felshy eyes, in front of the third eye, behind the fleshy eyes, etc, etc. I think you get the point.

(con..)

(cont..)

It is because the knowing/perception is not 100% working ( as the name of it states "neither perception nor non-perception). In fact I got in and out of that state many times to see where its located but I still couldnt get it. (if anyone has better description, please comment).
Next one falls right on the third eye, that is it. It is such a relief because you have come out of the previous creepy one, and the perception is 100 % working. Comparing to 5th which is in front of the third eye and 6th behind, this one is between (the third eye itself). The next one feels like it is top of the head but the actual location is behind the top of forehead. Then it start to fall back to the previous one and descending all the way down as described above, back to the surface of the stomach. I guess, it is that far i get in the jhanic arc.

Again, this might be different for other yogis but thinking in this way, jhanas are simply energy moving from one bodypart to another, (I guess this what Kenneth means by completing the circuit). Every jhana/energy has its own specefic feelings,perception and bodypart. Seeing in this way has made alot clear and down to earth for me. For example it leaves out the fantasy of what enlightenment/awakening might be. The only thing I know is that with continuing practice (following the simple innstructions) one day I will reach it . But I have no idea how it will feel or how my perceptions will change.


Sugato