New
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68797
by RevElev
New guys journal was created by RevElev
Hello, I've been sitting for about 4 months, watching my breath for the most part. Instead of just sitting outside and looking at the breath, I tried, and succeeded to some level, at getting inside the breath. I tried to watch the breath much more closely, to see the components that make up each inhalation and exhalation. To get inside the illusionary appearance of the solidity of each breath. This was difficult, the in/ex seemed surprisingly slippery. They were gone before I could get a hold of them.
Just trying this, however, helped me become more focused, my breath became more subtle then I have previously experienced. I did this for 2 hrs yesterday and felt good about how it was going. I sat again this am and had an interesting(for me) experience. Followed the same as above, but at some point It felt like I fell down into my breath. My physical awareness decreased dramatically. All I could feel was an extremely pleasant tingling feeling over my entire body, all the usual aches and tightness were completely gone. My mind/brain/awareness(?) also felt great, but I'm not sure how. It was a kind of very mellow euphoria, not sure how to describe. Nothing was really going on and I wasn't "happy" exactly just felt great for no apparent reason. I would guess this lasted 5-10 minutes not really sure. I slowly began to come back into my body and started to feel 'normal' again, the aches and tightness showed up in my legs and back and my mind was the way it feels when I first sit down. I still felt good but more normal. I'm assuming this is a result of concentration and I'm not quite enlightened(that's a joke). Just wanted some advice on whether I should stay with focusing on the breath or start noting or something else entirely. My plan is to stay with the breath for a couple of wks and then start trying noting. Also, thanks a lot for the input and the entire website.
Just trying this, however, helped me become more focused, my breath became more subtle then I have previously experienced. I did this for 2 hrs yesterday and felt good about how it was going. I sat again this am and had an interesting(for me) experience. Followed the same as above, but at some point It felt like I fell down into my breath. My physical awareness decreased dramatically. All I could feel was an extremely pleasant tingling feeling over my entire body, all the usual aches and tightness were completely gone. My mind/brain/awareness(?) also felt great, but I'm not sure how. It was a kind of very mellow euphoria, not sure how to describe. Nothing was really going on and I wasn't "happy" exactly just felt great for no apparent reason. I would guess this lasted 5-10 minutes not really sure. I slowly began to come back into my body and started to feel 'normal' again, the aches and tightness showed up in my legs and back and my mind was the way it feels when I first sit down. I still felt good but more normal. I'm assuming this is a result of concentration and I'm not quite enlightened(that's a joke). Just wanted some advice on whether I should stay with focusing on the breath or start noting or something else entirely. My plan is to stay with the breath for a couple of wks and then start trying noting. Also, thanks a lot for the input and the entire website.
- mumuwu
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68798
by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: New
Sounds like either access concentration (I'm thinking this) or 1st Jhana to me.
Give these a read:
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Access+Concentration
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Jhana+and+%C3%91ana
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Deeper+Into+Jhana
Give these a read:
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Access+Concentration
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Jhana+and+%C3%91ana
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Deeper+Into+Jhana
- omnipleasant
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68799
by omnipleasant
Replied by omnipleasant on topic RE: New
What you describe sounds very familiar. I wrote about it once on my practice log (see my profile for the URL, it's entry 4.). I can definitely recommend noting practice as well. What I did for a while was dividing my formal practice time in two parts: the first half I would concentrate on the breath, the second half I would do noting.
- mumuwu
- Topic Author
- omnipleasant
- Topic Author
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68802
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: New
Thanks, appreciate the input very much. It's nice to have an idea where I am, where I'm going, and how to get there. I had a meditation/Tai Chi instructor who was a former Taoist monk in China, his instructions to me were to sit practicing choice less awareness as much as possible for 3 years. Then I would be ready for his meditation instruction, looking back he was probably just trying to weed out students who weren't serious(like me). I prefer this approach.
- mumuwu
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68803
by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: New
You can do this Rev. Isn't it exciting? Below is just a tip that would have helped me starting out with this practice, it isn't a criticism of your current practice because I don't know what it's like
Here's a very important tip that it took me a while to learn. Try to keep this very very simple. When practicing focus on what is happening now. Note what is happening now. Don't get caught up in the game of having a map in your head and then trying to place yourself on it while meditating. Note the four foundations. I used a timer and would try and sit for the same time each time. I would note what I was experiencing, and eventually a pattern became evident. I was able to match this up with the maps once enough data had been collected. Most of my sits were no more than 20 minutes at a time (you don't need to be a hero, just note consistently using a small set of terms (pressure, coolness, tingling, tension, itching, warmth, coolness, flickering, looking, pulsing, hearing, tasting, smelling, pracitce tought, judging tought, dullness, anxiety, nausea, anger, aversion, longing, etc.).
Note and tell us what you noted (look at nadav's journal - his journal is such a good example to me - post 40 onward for example) - kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/40...set=40&maxResults=20
Best of luck.
Here's a very important tip that it took me a while to learn. Try to keep this very very simple. When practicing focus on what is happening now. Note what is happening now. Don't get caught up in the game of having a map in your head and then trying to place yourself on it while meditating. Note the four foundations. I used a timer and would try and sit for the same time each time. I would note what I was experiencing, and eventually a pattern became evident. I was able to match this up with the maps once enough data had been collected. Most of my sits were no more than 20 minutes at a time (you don't need to be a hero, just note consistently using a small set of terms (pressure, coolness, tingling, tension, itching, warmth, coolness, flickering, looking, pulsing, hearing, tasting, smelling, pracitce tought, judging tought, dullness, anxiety, nausea, anger, aversion, longing, etc.).
Note and tell us what you noted (look at nadav's journal - his journal is such a good example to me - post 40 onward for example) - kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/40...set=40&maxResults=20
Best of luck.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68804
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: New
Thanks, sounds like good advice, and I do tend to complicate things and get ahead of myself. I stayed with the breath in seated meditation today and noted while walking. Seated I felt heaviness or tension on my left side arms, legs, and head. It seemed like my awareness was on my left shoulder looking at my breath. This happens a lot for me, it feels like I'm uncentred(surprise). I can move it within my body and I feel a lot more natural that way. I've also noticed tension in my forehead during and after sitting, it's more like a pressure outward, focused just ahead of my temples. It's very slightly unpleasant but no big deal and only lasts 15-30 mins after I sit. While focusing on the breath I noticed my heart beating. It felt like each beat was reverberating through my body, like striking a bell. I then started to notice that my usually smooth and deep breaths were short gasps strung together and in time with each heart beat. I don't know if this is whats really going on or if my attention may have altered things somewhat. That only lasted 2-5 minutes I'd guess then my attention faded and I became distracted with thoughts.
Noting while walking was interesting. It was difficult to get into but once I did I felt like I was watching from some distance. Or seeing things on TV. I only did it for 15 minutes(walking home from work) I need to practice with this a lot more, but I can see how it could be beneficial.
Noting while walking was interesting. It was difficult to get into but once I did I felt like I was watching from some distance. Or seeing things on TV. I only did it for 15 minutes(walking home from work) I need to practice with this a lot more, but I can see how it could be beneficial.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68805
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: New
Focused on breath this am, for 40 minutes. I feel like I've been pushing to hard lately so I sat and tried to be open to whatever happened instead of directing myself to previous experiences. I started with a very open and broad sense of awareness, after a couple of minutes it tightened and focused more narrowly on my breath. My attention continued to narrow in focus and my breath became very light and subtle. I didn't experience my heart beat or gasping as I did yesterday. The pressure reappeared in my forehead, more at the temples then ahead of them today. Very quickly this pressure moved to the space between my eyebrows. It felt very close to the surface of my skin, exactly how I would imagine it to feel if someone put a piece of tape on my skin. I also started to feel a slight tugging at this spot. This spot slowly moved upwards about an inch, it took 1-2 minutes to move this distance. My timer went off, I stayed with it a while longer but had to get up(I was baking). When I got up the pressure in my forehead stayed, as I mentioned yesterday, but it would,very quickly, move from my temples to the middle of my forehead and back again. I feel like I should be noting but this feels very pleasant and I'm really curious about where this is going to take me.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68806
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: New
Sat for 40 this am. It was frustrating. I started with a wide focus on my breath and body to "get into it". I never really reached a normal level of concentration, lately I'm focusing on the breath almost exclusively within a couple minutes. So, I switched to noting, which is still very new to me. Mostly tension, frustration,pressure, frustration, discomfort... I found I was drifting back to the breath so I switched back, then it seemed like I wanted to note...frustration. I was back and forth the whole time, it seemed like whatever I decided to do, some part of me decided I wasn't going to do. It felt like I was chasing my tail the whole time. Getting up I felt the pressure around my temples again. I washed dishes and found I was very mindful of everything I was doing, I was amazingly focused on washing dishes. And now I just feel disappointed about the whole thing...hmmm. Oh well, try again latter, "co-opt your enemies"
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68807
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: New practice journal
Did a lot of silent noting today at work. My job is physical so in some ways it's great for noting. My mind really isn't needed for anything the majority of the time. The flip side is that it's easy to get robotic with repetitive actions. Left, right, left, bend, grasp, lift, stand, turn, step, step, reach, release, push. Repeat. I found it fairly easy to stay with it for the first 3-4 hrs of my shift. I felt somewhat distant from what was happening, like I was inside my head watching TV through my eyes. I also felt that whenever I focused on my breath I became very centered and felt the same feelings of pleasure I experience when seated and focusing on my breath, just less intense. I sat for 30 mins. when I got home, very frustrating. To tired to really stay with anything, noting or breath. I hope I'm on the right track.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68808
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
40 min sit this am, and one this afternoon. The morning was a tough one, distracted and tired, it was a struggle to stay 'til the bell, but I did so that's something. This afternoons was "better". The usual stuff with a couple of exceptions. I'm noticing a more definite change in myself as I move from less to more concentrated while sitting. It feels like a settling of my thoughts and breath and occurs quickly, and maybe 3 or 4 times. I try to pay more attention. The pressure on my forehead is more intense today, started at the temples again, quickly moved to forehead then felt like my skin was being pulled away from my skull, but not in a bad way. At some point it felt like something was actually sticking out of my forehead, several inches. Strange feeling. I also had something new happen with my eyes. I began feeling tension in the muscles, very similar to the feeling I get when I cross my eyes, but not exactly. I can't replicate the feeling so I don't know what was happening. 30 minutes since I sat and I still feel pressure in the centre of my forehead. I think I'll dress like Santa more often.
- kennethfolk
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68809
by kennethfolk
Replied by kennethfolk on topic RE: Rev's journal
"I also had something new happen with my eyes. I began feeling tension in the muscles, very similar to the feeling I get when I cross my eyes, but not exactly. I can't replicate the feeling so I don't know what was happening."-RevElev
Let this happen while cultivating stability in the visual field with eyes closed, Rev. Look past any strobing, flickering, or fluttering to the stability beyond it. Let your eyes settle and lock in as though looking at the tip of your own nose with eyes closed. This leads to the 1st jhana.
Let this happen while cultivating stability in the visual field with eyes closed, Rev. Look past any strobing, flickering, or fluttering to the stability beyond it. Let your eyes settle and lock in as though looking at the tip of your own nose with eyes closed. This leads to the 1st jhana.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68810
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
Thanks Kenneth, good to know I'm making some progress in the right direction.
40 minute sit this am. Counted 3 phases to my concentration. A lot of stability in the final phase, I was able to observe sensations without becoming entangled in them. I began applying what I know about the 3 characteristics to the sensations. I'm finding impermanence to be the easiest one to apply, I guess because I find it the easiest to understand. I also noticed a vast increase in my sensitivity to sensations. Previously I've almost felt numb to them, I couldn't believe how anyone could notice several sensations per second. Well it actually happened to me, I'm not sure how or what I did. It didn't really feel like I was more sensitive, just more observant. I also realized how there are no "bad" meditation sessions, regardless of what comes up or how much, the point is to apply the 3. I used to aim for quiet and stillness, but know I can understand that 1. it probably doesn't exist and 2. it's not really better then noise, if you are aware of the noise, the noise can be damn useful. Hopefully this will stick with me.I hate it when I realize something and then it just fades away. No unicorn sensation today, it felt like I was too busy with other stuff to worry about my forehead. I also didn't experience the eye strain from yesterday.
Should I be focusing more on the visual field or the 3 characteristics?
40 minute sit this am. Counted 3 phases to my concentration. A lot of stability in the final phase, I was able to observe sensations without becoming entangled in them. I began applying what I know about the 3 characteristics to the sensations. I'm finding impermanence to be the easiest one to apply, I guess because I find it the easiest to understand. I also noticed a vast increase in my sensitivity to sensations. Previously I've almost felt numb to them, I couldn't believe how anyone could notice several sensations per second. Well it actually happened to me, I'm not sure how or what I did. It didn't really feel like I was more sensitive, just more observant. I also realized how there are no "bad" meditation sessions, regardless of what comes up or how much, the point is to apply the 3. I used to aim for quiet and stillness, but know I can understand that 1. it probably doesn't exist and 2. it's not really better then noise, if you are aware of the noise, the noise can be damn useful. Hopefully this will stick with me.I hate it when I realize something and then it just fades away. No unicorn sensation today, it felt like I was too busy with other stuff to worry about my forehead. I also didn't experience the eye strain from yesterday.
Should I be focusing more on the visual field or the 3 characteristics?
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68811
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
I forgot to mention #11's Santa comment was to see if anyone was reading this, I don't really dress like Santa. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
- mumuwu
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68812
by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: Rev's journal
I've been reading it.
It's for your own benefit though. It keeps you accountable to yourself and allows you to keep a record of your sits. Think of yourself as a scientist who is trying to get to the bottom of this meditation/development thing. You are acquiring data and recording it in your journal. Eventually you will begin seeing patterns and be able to line up what you are journaling with the maps.
You want to do it in a somewhat controlled way so using a timer and consistent noting terms is helpful. Also try to keep an unbiased mind that is looking at pure phenomenon without analyzing it too much. The analysis comes later when you have your data.
It's for your own benefit though. It keeps you accountable to yourself and allows you to keep a record of your sits. Think of yourself as a scientist who is trying to get to the bottom of this meditation/development thing. You are acquiring data and recording it in your journal. Eventually you will begin seeing patterns and be able to line up what you are journaling with the maps.
You want to do it in a somewhat controlled way so using a timer and consistent noting terms is helpful. Also try to keep an unbiased mind that is looking at pure phenomenon without analyzing it too much. The analysis comes later when you have your data.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68813
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
Thanks mumuwu. Just feeling a little lost and out of control then, nothing serious. Appreciate the tips, I do currently use a timer, I know I'd give up too soon without it. Your point about analyzing is very appropriate. Since I've started this journal I'm finding myself considering how to express my experiences here, while I'm sitting. I think It'll become just another part of it(meditating) and no big deal.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68814
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
My 40 min afternoon sit was a little scrambled. I started OK, but then I was focused on the visual field, which reminded me of Homer Simpson "I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am" or where I'm going or how to get there. After about 15 mins I gave up on the visual field thing and went back to my breath. I was feeling very heavy, dull, and tired. I began to feel a tingling in my right forearm and a warmth that seemed to be inside the arm, not on the surface. This tingle then appeared on my upper back and left forearm, it could have been caused by tension in my back, not sure. Shortly after that I began to notice more sensations(or notice them more rapidly), similar to this am, but I also felt very exhilarated. The tired, heavy, dull was gone in seconds and I felt energy (warm and a very fine tingling) rush through my body. I was slouching slightly and it straightened my back like I had received a shock. I felt some tension in the eyes, but it could have been from trying/pushing to hard. I do that. I'm unclear if Kenneth meant to look at the end of my nose, or just set my concentration on the nose...or something else entirely. Not sure where I'm going, but it sure as hell is interesting.
- mumuwu
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68815
by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: Rev's journal
Close the eyes
Look downward
Allow the eyes to cross
Feel how they sort of lock in place
Notice the blank space they are looking at
Do not try to pick out any diversity in it
Pay attention to the stability
Allow yourself to be absorbed into it
If you stray, return to the stable space
If this doesn't work for you, be adventurous
Consider that you might be misinterpreting something
Find a way that fits the description I just wrote.
Look downward
Allow the eyes to cross
Feel how they sort of lock in place
Notice the blank space they are looking at
Do not try to pick out any diversity in it
Pay attention to the stability
Allow yourself to be absorbed into it
If you stray, return to the stable space
If this doesn't work for you, be adventurous
Consider that you might be misinterpreting something
Find a way that fits the description I just wrote.
- kennethfolk
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68816
by kennethfolk
Replied by kennethfolk on topic RE: Rev's journal
"I'm unclear if Kenneth meant to look at the end of my nose, or just set my concentration on the nose...or something else entirely."-RevElev
It's both, but what I am pointing to here is the hard-wired connection between the focus of the eyes and the focus of the mind. When the visual field is stable, you are doing samatha (concentration meditation). When the visual field is flickering or strobing, you are doing vipassana (investigative meditation). The focus of mind is hard-wired to the focusing of the eyes. This one tip will take you very far in your practice. Become very interested in how your eyes and your visual field behave depending on what you are doing with your mind.
It's both, but what I am pointing to here is the hard-wired connection between the focus of the eyes and the focus of the mind. When the visual field is stable, you are doing samatha (concentration meditation). When the visual field is flickering or strobing, you are doing vipassana (investigative meditation). The focus of mind is hard-wired to the focusing of the eyes. This one tip will take you very far in your practice. Become very interested in how your eyes and your visual field behave depending on what you are doing with your mind.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68817
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
Thank you both very much. I'll give it a try and look forward to investigating the eye/mind link. Thanks again.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68818
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
Well...lol, I had to quit after 35 minutes because I started getting nauseated. I think maybe I went a little too hard on the whole cross eyed thing. I did however notice that when I was silent their was less occurring in the visual field. At one point I felt like I took a step into a warm thick liquid, this only lasted for a couple seconds. I also completely lost track of my body for short times, and didn't notice if I was breathing. I think I'll try again tomorrow, but a little more 'easy does it'. Or, maybe this was normal.
- mumuwu
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68819
by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: Rev's journal
Yeah, dont strain. Look at your nose eyes open. That amount of physical effort.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68820
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
45 mins this morning, started with the breath to settle then switched to the eyes. Looked down, crossed my eyes...nothing. Paid attention to the visual field, noticed some light flashes and darker spots. Noticed frustration. Switched back to the breath because nothing much seemed to be happening. After I was with the breath, maybe 5 mins, I noticed a tension in my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes and sure enough they were slightly crossed... on their own. Weird. I have felt this same sensation occasionally for a week or 2 but didn't know what was happening, just another sensation. The eyes were pointed straight ahead, not down, don't know if this is important/significant. I just keep with it, focusing on the visual field. Only a couple of really discernable events. The first was a light that started top left dropped and brightened then moved to the right and lost brightness. This happened 5 or 6 times. I also experienced colour, which I have never noticed with my eyes closed like this. I saw a large vibrant blue round blob in the centre of the field which shrunk then disappeared and was replaced by another which did the same thing. This continued for about a minute. What struck me was the colour, slightly darker then the sky but a very vibrant electric blue. As I said I've only ever noticed black, white, and grey when I've closed my eyes. Fairly suddenly the strain left my eyes and I was back to what I've known as meditation very calm, quiet and serene. This made me realize that previously I'd felt quite enegetic and, I didn't notice any sound, but things became very quiet post eye strain. I also felt the forehead pressure but higher on my head, about 1-1 1/2 inches above the hair line.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 3 months ago #68821
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Rev's journal
It just keeps gettin' weirder. Another 45, Started with the breath then eyes, back to breath. Anyway. I experienced a HUGE rush of energy through my entire body. I was vibrating and shaking. My head tilted back and my mouth opened involuntarily. Very bright lights in the visual field. Like a lightbulb an inch from my closed eyes. My upper body was rocking forward and back slightly, the only way I know it was actually moving was because I could feel my hands tugging on the skin on my knees. And now I'm freezing cold. I got up about 5 minutes ago. I'm feeling a little frantic/manic. Like a caffeine overdose. My skin was tingling like wild, crazy. It's still tingling no where near as intense. My muscles feet tight esp jaws and upper back. Before this happened, and this morning, my right hand kept lightly clenching on my knee, I'd notice it and relax. It was like all my muscles tightened. It kinda felt like how it looks when someone is tasered. Thinking back the energy may have poured in through my eyes? A little confused, feeling physically weird, going for a walk.
