Sven´s "new to theravada" meditation log

Hi all,
I´ve been reading a lot on this site witout registering and read MCTB 3 times (currently 4th time).
I´ve been practicing meditation for several years but very inconsistently which I want to change. I got into Buddhism through Zen and sat a couple of times with Zen groups. Never did any retreats though. I never got any instructions but figured samatha meditation out for myself.
Now I want to be more focused and results oriented and go for stream entry.

I´ve started to meditate regularly about 3 weeks ago, first getting back into meditation through concentration. I meditate about 30-45 min. a day and after I recently felt that my concentration is acceptable I started to try noting.

Noting felt very artificial which, I assume, is because I´m new to it. I concentrated on the rising/falling of the abdomen and noted so. I also just made a kasina and tried it out. Had some funny effects, the thing became half invisible and so.
Got to get used to it just like noting, I did concentration practice by just getting concentrated (pretty much without an object).

Cheers
Sven

PS.: I´m also on DhO as Sven P.

A very warm welcome to you Sven,
You will be in good company here. There's a wealth of wisdom, experience and support here that is sure to help you along your journey. Nice to hear from you.
Paul

Hi and welcome sven,

This place and Kenneth's instructions, although based in part on what a certain school of Theravada mediation taught, is not really Theravada through and through. It is quite a mix of practices. The 3 gears combination is unique indeed. But noting will take you to where you want to go if a momentum is maintained in your practice.

Make sure when you post your observations of your meditations, keep away from speculating and just share the bare bones of your practice, the phenomenology of what is happening to you. That way, Kenneth and other yogis will be able to see and relate to what is happening to you and give you good appropriate guidance and advice.

Once again, welcome sven!

Mudita,

Nick

"A very warm welcome to you Sven,
You will be in good company here. There's a wealth of wisdom, experience and support here that is sure to help you along your journey. Nice to hear from you.
Paul"

Hi Paul

thanks a lot! I noticed the extensive amount of knowledge. That´s why KFDh & DhO are the best boards.

Hi Nick

thank you! I already noticed from your posts that you have a worthwhile knowledge to share.

Sven

Hi,

I don´t have a lot to report. Recently I had 2 sits like this:
- started with concentration until it felt solid, mild visual hallucinations after 20 min
- switched to noting, analyzed breath sensations in belly. Didn´t speak out labels, just went with the phenomena. Felt artificial. Eyelids started to flutter which felt strange.
Question: Anyone knows what that means?!

Did a couple of sits just concentrating w/o object, just mind itself since I felt that noting was strange.

Had a skype session with Kenneth last thursday, he walked me through the noting technique and we did self inquiry.

Was quite motivated to practice noting again.
Did it yesterday, 30 min. No concentration before, jumped right into noting.
Was a tiring thing and a bit overwhelming.
Then gave up and tried to rise kundalini as I managed before but different effect.
Felt energy patterns, very organically intertwined, rushing over surface of body and kept it up through will.

Cheers
Sven

(Next session with Kenneth this thursday!)

Hey Sven,

Welcome to KFD!

On your reporting, feel free to describe as much as possible what your experiences are. You mentioned that noting feels artificial, what do you mean by that? does it feel like you are noting things after they arise? as they arise? are you noting the mental quality of the phenomena (noting the mental process of noting) rather than the actual sensation/ thought? when you feeling tired during your sitting, are you noting "tired" and "overwhelmed?" go ahead and hold nothing back when you are describing your practice

I'm sure Kenneth will have very interesting things to say about what you've experienced so far. Feel free to share it with the rest!

Metta,
JF

How'd your session with Kenneth go?

Seems your concentration skills are good. Balancing that with the noting technique (which will become easier with time) will surely result in progress.

"How'd your session with Kenneth go?

Seems your concentration skills are good. Balancing that with the noting technique (which will become easier with time) will surely result in progress. "

It was great, really new stuff! There´s still a lot to figure out for me.

Good concentration... thanks but I´m not so sure. No way for me to measure it...

Hey JF,

thanks! It got a bit more natural over the last 4 (or so) times I did it. Can´t find the right labels for my experience. I guess it´s normal for beginners from what I read.
Thanks for the tips!
Sven

Hi Nick,

thanks a lot! Yes, I´ll try to stick to the facts. ( New report of todays sit, see below)

Take care

Sven

Hi,

it´s been a while and I feel embarassed
I´ve had quite a regular meditation practice the last weeks although not consistent in terms of technique...
Didn´t know what I want, unsure about my needs (more vipassana and which style ore rather concentration). Went to Zen training a couple of times and did 2 hour sessions with

breaks of walking meditation. Worried that the Zennies get nowhere.

I also had ca. 4 weeks of heavy pot smoking. COuldn´t get my a** on the cushion but had many psychological insights (hard to describe) and shift of perspective, emotional

openings (forgiveness, love, ...)

Also, I played around with noting and breath watching, anapanasati spot and belly. Results were e.g. that energy flashes (or whatever) crept over my skin in high speed, and a

strange sensation (very physical) dominated my "inner" body (?) ....

Ok, here´s today´s sit:


13. April 10
20 min. samatha with pseudo-kasina then 20 vipassana (belly breath)

Generally a good mood today...

1.) Started with staring at a dirty spot on my carpet. Spot started to "do it´s thing" after a few seconds. Body heat increased, hat to take off shirt. Appr after 10

min.coulours started to change around spot, saw the typical glowing, red, trasparent layer changin organically around the spot. No spirals though.
Feeling of concentration increased through samatha sit. Thoughts present but pretty much kept eye/concentration on spot. Not really getting lost in thought but awareness of

concentration and thought. Going back to objekt was easy and quick.

2.) Switched to 20 min watching breathing in belly, trying to recognize it´s individual components. Body cooled off after appr. 10 min. into this part of the sitting.

...(continued)
Awareness wandered to other parts, tension in jaw, tingling in leg...
Thought interference but not a big issue (similar to concentration part before). Felt calm and serene. No funky phenomena.

14.04.10

Intention to get 1st jhana today, read some instructions written by KF.

20 min kasina + 20 min arbitrary

1.) Got a better kasina, dog food bowl (light brown). stared at it, did it´s thing.
Experimented with crossing eyes. Looked for a pleasurable feeling in smile. not sure if pleasurable or neutral, maybe it´s more like muscle tension?
After a while my eyes *sort of* closed automatically, maybe I just allowed to follow the impulse to close them.
Experienced peace/equanimity. Physical well being, is that piti? Not sure...

2.) Tried to focus on breath in belly to do vipassana without noting. Not too successful as I was curious about the nice physical feeling and the peace so I came to that.
Then wanted to see for a pleasurable sensation. Since smile was not pleaurable in an obvious way I listened to the birds singing outside which I love a lot.
Pleasurable feeling was dominant in body so I gave in to that. In between mind wandered between belly and physical pleasure.

Sven,

I'm not sure if this would work for everyone, but I tend to generate a pleasant sensation in the following way.

First become aware of the breath, the feeling of air going in and out of the nose.

Next be aware of the whole body while breathing in and breathing out (such that you are aware of the body and breath together).

Tune into the sensation of air on the skin. It will almost feel like you are breathing through the skin. This is very pleasant for me.

mumuwu,

thanks for your advice! I´ll try it out and will post on this.
Sven

Ok,
not much meditation over the last days, just 2 x 10 min.
Noting only without trying to concentrate before.

This kicked me right into A&P or equanimity, can´t tell for sure.
The predominant feeling was equanimity but with a bit of "love" mixed into it
Cheers
Sven

20 min concentration + 20 min noting

1.) concentration
No kasina, picked carpet as object. Swirls and coulours started to appear pretty quickly. Nice feeling of tranquility, thought interference low and short. Mind sometimes wanderes to other objects like abdomen.
Tried to pick a pleasurable feeling to get into jhana. No clue if I got it but felt quite absorbed.

2.) noting
Noted sensations in doublettes, worked really well and smooth. Feeling of physical bliss (piti?) was dominant sometimes, along with a feeling of deep absorbtion (to my standards).
At some point I didn´t want to note anymore although there was no aversion against noting. I just gave in to the positive experience and rested in it.
After a while (30 sec.?) thought interfered and I went back to noting.

Was a nice session;-)

mumuwu: thanks again, I focused on the positive feeling of the coolness of my skin. I think that was a good advice.

So, back on track after backpacking for 6 months through South-America.
A few weeks ago I started to get back into meditation and pumped up my shamata skills a little, found it easy to get into jhanas.
Off cushion experience: quite strong fear out of the blue, simply stayed with it. No psychological crap bubbled up though. That was new for me to simply have this strong physical feeling of fear - withouts negative thoughts coming with it.
3 days ago I got into heavy dukkha, this time with lots of psychological crap. Same old story: anger about people, feeling of being treated unfairly by life, fear of the future, intense desire for deliverance....
Funny thing: As the dukkha was driving me nuts, suddenly it stopped out of the blue. I was completely amazed that I witnessed this aprupt ending so clearly. Was new to me! Made we wonder wether DN exists with and without psychological content.
Made me decide to meditate more disciplined and to leave that pain behind. Decided to to noting to get to equanimity.
Past two days: dry noting, nothing special happened except that both sits (45 min each) I felt equanimity quite dominantly.

Hi Sven!
Backpacking sounds like an interesting experience!
Good luck on continuing your meditation!

Welcome Back,

Backpacking in south east asia for 6 months sounds great! Curious did you manage to do any retreats there?

Metta
Erik

30 min sit, noting.
Felt strong pleasant feeling in head, sustained thru whole sit. Feeling of equanimity came up almost as soon as I sat down. At a certain point the effort of noting almost was too much to do and I felt like dropping it but I kept on. Strong feeling of absorption. Not a lot to talk about...

@ meekan: yes, was awsome. My own private hero journey, both in- and outwards
@Erik: no retreats, toyed with the idea though. spiritual practice in form of observing psychological content on loooong bus rides.

-Sven

30 min, noting
Sat down, a strong feeling of equanimity + absorption built up instantly wich cilminated twice during sit.
Started to seat a bit at one point. Then equanimity + absoption where so dominant that I had to force my self no keep noting, felt as if I sort of was about to "let go"/"give up" noting. Pleasant feeling in head as well, felt a pulse in ca. the middle of my head. Heartbeat + breath were slow & shallow. Checked for piti during sit, nothing really there. Checked ajna chakra out of curiosity, no tingling except for the end of sit but only very little (might as well that I saw it there ´cause I wanted to somehow).

30 min, noting
It´s actually yesterday´s 2nd sit. After someone upset me quite a bit I hoped noting would produce equanimity but no.
Anger made it hard to concentrate and I tried to note through that mess. Do equanimity at all.Don´t remember much more.

1st sit today, 25 min noting:7
Went way better than last night, Equanimous feeling started to arise, also some sweating (might be related to having a bath before), pleasant feeling in head.
At some point though anger came in related to an event yesterday. Found it difficult to keep on noting.