Distrusting as practice (Alejandro's practice notes II)

I think this applies to noters, pathers, 3rd gear dis-embedders, and DMers. Specially DMers.

The deeper "I" go into "the nature of reality", the more authentic reality seems. Yet I also know that everything I discover becomes tainted automatically. This is my nature. Alejandro's nature. This is what I do as a human being. I poison everything I discover.

Knowing is the poison that poisons everything "I" know.

So now I distrust. To me this is a new way of dis-embedding. In this sense, distrusting "feels" like renewed space. It "feels" very open and refreshing. It feels like a relief from suffering. Both gross and subtle suffering. This is not distrust based on fear or wanting to become better. I distrust because I want to end my suffering.

This is very similar to what Kenneth refers to when he invites us to "not know". Jackson called this "the wisdom of not knowing".

So now I invite you to distrust with wisdom.

Lately I distrust:
- Any sense of "Now I know how to..."
- My rationale (verbal and non-verbal)
- All self-imbued transparency, 3rd gear, rigpa, awareness or DM practice
- All self-imbued equanimity
- Wanting of any kind

The trick here is that this new wisdom of distrusting can be poisoned as well.

How do I avoid that? I can't. But this is good too because falling, hitting the floor and suffering wakes me up again.

I do take precautions and invite you to do the same:
- Disembed from anything that is self
- Dedicate your practice to the benefit of all beings. (I think Owen started doing this a few months ago).
- Disembed from ALL attainments (distrusting).
- Note, note, note.

I love this place, I love all the healthy discussions we have, and all the advice we give each other. Lets not lose that.

"Don't ignore anything. That is just identifying it as soemthing the self doesn't like and thus identifying with it. You wanna do the opposite. Dis-identify!! Include the pain in the noting. It all goes into the awakening making machine. Plop it in there and note it." -Nick

Excellent advice. In this context. I can now distrust my discoveries and note them. If I disembed correctly, noting happens by itself. I've been noticing my sense of self all day. Yesterday it was barely there. My self, after dis-embedding, seems like a big mish mash of activities: images, yearning to talk, yearning to be, yearning to think, reflect and ponder.

After several minutes, the three characteristics feel like an eraser. this is very similar to "grounding", I don't erase anything. I feel that my self erases itself. A more accurate way to put it, it dilutes itself in space.

Space feels like a distiller. Omnipresent distiller.

I like the way you think, Alex. Thanks for this. It helps to be reminded of this. Letting go of the first thing, we forget somtimes that we may have just clung to another thing upon loosen our grip on the previous thing. Here's to distrusting what I know. Open flexible mind!

Thanks Nick!

Just this morning I saw myself clinging to a conceptual representation of "distrust as practice"