Practice Notes
- mikesettle
- Topic Author
15 years 1 month ago #70731
by mikesettle
Practice Notes was created by mikesettle
I had my first teaching session with Kenneth on Wednesday (11-10-10)
I'm attempting to follow Kenneth's instructions regarding the Four Foundations of Mindfulness.
My practice has two forms: one is actual sitting practice, the other is mindfulness while walking, driving, waking up, going to sleep, taking a shower etc.
The sitting practice I've done is a bit shorter than what my routine has been for the last couple of months. I sit in a chair-mostly- for twenty minutes trying to be mindful of my body, thoughts, and emotions. I sit with my eyes closed so one of the mind doors is cut off, closed. I'm surprised how quickly the time speeds by. I'm also impressed at the subtlety of my emotional range from instant to instant. I note pressure, or thoughts, or soreness/pain. hearing. This is followed by a note of whether the sensation or thought is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Then a note regarding emotion. Then starting again. And again.
I'm noting fear a lot. I notice its subtle component parts as I sit: nervousness, anxiety, agitation, feeling unsure/uncertain, and blowing up to real fear and dread and aversion. These gradations fluctuate from moment to moment and disappear for awhile to replaced with happiness, stillness, contentment. A common occurrence is the prevalence of neutral feelings.
The eyes open practice of everyday ordinary things is what is so surprising so far. At this time of year, in the Northeast, the fall colors are in full throat. As I drive I note, "seeing, beauty, happiness." I'm amazed at how much joy I experience in this moment to moment practice. I thought it was all bad. It's not. There is real joy out there, and its made more accessible by the practice that Kenneth is having me do. It's quite a relief. There is also the usual stuff of noting, 'seeing, stupid driver, anger" etc.
So far. so good.
I'm attempting to follow Kenneth's instructions regarding the Four Foundations of Mindfulness.
My practice has two forms: one is actual sitting practice, the other is mindfulness while walking, driving, waking up, going to sleep, taking a shower etc.
The sitting practice I've done is a bit shorter than what my routine has been for the last couple of months. I sit in a chair-mostly- for twenty minutes trying to be mindful of my body, thoughts, and emotions. I sit with my eyes closed so one of the mind doors is cut off, closed. I'm surprised how quickly the time speeds by. I'm also impressed at the subtlety of my emotional range from instant to instant. I note pressure, or thoughts, or soreness/pain. hearing. This is followed by a note of whether the sensation or thought is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Then a note regarding emotion. Then starting again. And again.
I'm noting fear a lot. I notice its subtle component parts as I sit: nervousness, anxiety, agitation, feeling unsure/uncertain, and blowing up to real fear and dread and aversion. These gradations fluctuate from moment to moment and disappear for awhile to replaced with happiness, stillness, contentment. A common occurrence is the prevalence of neutral feelings.
The eyes open practice of everyday ordinary things is what is so surprising so far. At this time of year, in the Northeast, the fall colors are in full throat. As I drive I note, "seeing, beauty, happiness." I'm amazed at how much joy I experience in this moment to moment practice. I thought it was all bad. It's not. There is real joy out there, and its made more accessible by the practice that Kenneth is having me do. It's quite a relief. There is also the usual stuff of noting, 'seeing, stupid driver, anger" etc.
So far. so good.
- RevElev
- Topic Author
15 years 1 month ago #70732
by RevElev
Replied by RevElev on topic RE: Practice Notes
Welcome Mike! Sounds like you're off to a good start.
- mikesettle
- Topic Author
15 years 1 month ago #70733
by mikesettle
Replied by mikesettle on topic RE: Practice Notes
My practice over the weekend started with noting body, mind, and mind states that included a subtle array of emotions that ranged over, through, and around guilt, regret, embarrassment, shame, lust, and sensuality.
Next sitting starred fear as the feature player. It came at me from every conceivable direction. I had set my timer for a half-hour, but give up tired and worn out at the twenty-seven minute mark. Accuracy demands an explanation: fear was all over me like a mask and a body suit. There was no let up the entire time. Kenneth gave me no instructions to look for the Three Characteristics, so I didn't. Fear was seemingly very aggressive. I took it as long as I could. It was difficult.
Next sitting was characterized by an equally subtle attachment to fear, even though fear itself was not as strong as the previous sitting. The clinging was sort of funny and sort of sad. It was not scary. The sitting before was scary, frustrating, and disturbing.
Next sitting starred fear as the feature player. It came at me from every conceivable direction. I had set my timer for a half-hour, but give up tired and worn out at the twenty-seven minute mark. Accuracy demands an explanation: fear was all over me like a mask and a body suit. There was no let up the entire time. Kenneth gave me no instructions to look for the Three Characteristics, so I didn't. Fear was seemingly very aggressive. I took it as long as I could. It was difficult.
Next sitting was characterized by an equally subtle attachment to fear, even though fear itself was not as strong as the previous sitting. The clinging was sort of funny and sort of sad. It was not scary. The sitting before was scary, frustrating, and disturbing.