Daniel's Sitting Journal

Hello everybody! I'm really looking forward to finally having a journal on this site. Let me give a little practice background.

I had my first Goenka course in 2008, my second in 2009, and I've been living at a center for the past six months doing one course a month and meditating three hours a day while not on course. While at the center I've been practicing noting under the guidance of Kenneth (unbeknownst to the center authorities) and have been making great strides in my practice.

Here's a report for my sit today:

12/27/10 Morning sit. 20 minutes of concentration on breath, 40 minutes noting.

Followed breath into what I believe is first jhana, i.e pleasant sensations throughout body/mind and a pervasive sense of well-being. For twenty minutes sank as deeply into this experience as possible. Started noting at the twenty minute mark. Noted vibrations primarily in my head. Vibrations in the center of my head spread out as time went on until there were unified vibrations throughout my head and upper chest (this was all pulsing as one unified experience). The most dynamic/un-synchronized/interesting sensations were in the center of my head (as usual). At about the 40 minute mark the vibrations noticeably softened and became more diffuse. I softened and slowed down my noting accordingly and surrendered to this experience as best I could until the time ran out.

Hi Daniel,
Interesting stuff! Thanks for posting.

Sounds like a great time to make progress in practice, living at a centre and sitting 10 days per month is a lot. Keep us updated

How do you handle doing noting while listening to Goenka's stuff and living at a Goenka centre?
I've also done a bit of Goenka courses and also noting there, but it does seem to raise some issues (which can obviously be seen as just arising and passing but are still there nonetheless).

12/29 52 minute sit: Rather tired and distracted (kids running around outside my door) concentration was not very deep. Found noting difficult and forced but kept it up for about 20 min. After that started no-self practice and was able to maintain / disembed from my experience with ease. Worry that I may like no-self* practice because it removes a lot of suffering from my immediate experience.

12/29 Hour long afternoon sit. Concentration for 25 minute, made it to what I believe is first Jhana which is slowly becoming a more solidified and reliable experience. Vipassana flowed easily noting vibrations and bodily discomforts until vibrations synchronized and softened and spread out.

My concerns right now in practice are knowing when to drop noting and looking at versus looking for.

12/30 30 min concentration 30 min vipassana. Concentration was loose. Jhana was attained briefly but was very unstable. When jhana is attained it is, while pleasurable, also sort of uncomfortable. When I am 'ejected' from this state my mind is usually significantly more peaceful (and usually a little spacey). Is it possible that this is 2nd jhana? I usually just assumed that this was the afterglow of having experienced 1st jhana...

Vipassana was very scattered. Noted until I felt comfortable dropping labels then did 'no-self'* practice.

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*No-self practice is just looking at experience and softly saying "not me" "not mine". It has the effect of softening phenomena and bringing a lot of ease and reduction of suffering in my practice. Sometime's I'll drop the words and just unhook my sense of self from experience naturally.

"How do you handle doing noting while listening to Goenka's stuff and living at a Goenka centre?
I've also done a bit of Goenka courses and also noting there, but it does seem to raise some issues (which can obviously be seen as just arising and passing but are still there nonetheless)."

To be honest I didn't have much problem disobeying the rules. I suppose it's due to my conditioning but it didn't bother me much at all. I felt that nobody was harmed by what I was doing. As Kenneth told me when I asked this question "there's a difference between rules and ethics".

On the other hand others I know at the center who were doing the same thing had more issues (guilt, paranoia) with it.

12/31 hour sit: Lots of ambient noise today. Difficulty concentrating and spent a lot of time drifting wanting session to be over. Vibrations in head very localized and didn't spread out. Mostly rifted anxiously around and felt like I was wasting my time (noted a lot of aversion, frustration, boredom).

"12/29 52 minute sit: Rather tired and distracted (kids running around outside my door) concentration was not very deep. Found noting difficult and forced but kept it up for about 20 min. After that started no-self practice and was able to maintain / disembed from my experience with ease. Worry that I may like no-self* practice because it removes a lot of suffering from my immediate experience.

12/29 Hour long afternoon sit. Concentration for 25 minute, made it to what I believe is first Jhana which is slowly becoming a more solidified and reliable experience. Vipassana flowed easily noting vibrations and bodily discomforts until vibrations synchronized and softened and spread out.

My concerns right now in practice are knowing when to drop noting and looking at versus looking for.

12/30 30 min concentration 30 min vipassana. Concentration was loose. Jhana was attained briefly but was very unstable. When jhana is attained it is, while pleasurable, also sort of uncomfortable. When I am 'ejected' from this state my mind is usually significantly more peaceful (and usually a little spacey). Is it possible that this is 2nd jhana? I usually just assumed that this was the afterglow of having experienced 1st jhana...

Vipassana was very scattered. Noted until I felt comfortable dropping labels then did 'no-self'* practice.

---

*No-self practice is just looking at experience and softly saying "not me" "not mine". It has the effect of softening phenomena and bringing a lot of ease and reduction of suffering in my practice. Sometime's I'll drop the words and just unhook my sense of self from experience naturally."

2nd Jhana is something like first without the sense of directed effort. Perhaps that's what you are running into. Perhaps it's not (it could just be you are in the afterglow and you aren't having to hold attention in place)

"12/31 hour sit: Lots of ambient noise today. Difficulty concentrating and spent a lot of time drifting wanting session to be over. Vibrations in head very localized and didn't spread out. Mostly rifted anxiously around and felt like I was wasting my time (noted a lot of aversion, frustration, boredom)."

Could be the three characteristics stage (would make sense if you are hitting 1st Jhana).