Mind Games as Kid

Hi all,

I am trying to write something and I was wanting to get some ideas and inspiration. I was wondering if some of you ever played mind games as a kid or some sort of practice that resembled insight practice or samatha practice. Did it trigger an AP event? Even if it didn't, I'd like to hear about it.

Very curious to see if you did.

Thanks,

Nick

Sometimes I would get a repeating thought, something happening over and over. A hammer hammering for example. Then I would try to keep the hammer from moving, but I could only influence it briefly before it would start again. I would play with this for long stretches of time. "WHY CAN'T I STOP THE HAMMER!!! It's my own mind, I should be able to stop it!"

I would also occasionally notice how the visual field was made up of particles (staring at a wall or the sky made this quite evident).

Sometimes I would go a long time just doubling numbers as high as I could (concentration maybe).

I would also think about how I was aware a lot, and wonder about consciousness. I would wonder about would it still be me if I had someone else's memories (would it still feel like me but I would just remember the wrong things?).

I remember having some weird experiences as a child. There was this feeling I really didn't like that would come over me some times where I would feel like I was just expanding and expanding. There would be a real sense of dread with it. I hated the feeling but whenever I thought about it, I could make it happen.

I also remember staring at a sacred heart picture (something like this - www.rangioracatholicparish.org.nz/RoundSacredHeart.gif ) that was in my room. Eventually I saw the heart pounding and had a similar odd feeling.

I really can't remember well enough to know if anything like an A&P was triggered. I always felt like a bit of an outsider growing up and felt like I was on some kind of search for something.

I mentioned an A&P-triggering mind game in my response to your Hamilton Project A&P thread: imagining and repeating a short word, visualizing the written letters, disassembling it into sounds and letters, at bed-time.
Other mind games I remember playing: trying to imagine perfect darkness, without any eyelid lights; trying to find the physical part in my head where narrative/discursive thoughts take place; refraining from scratching an itch, and instead trying to find out how that itch felt (when I had chicken pox at around 10 years); closing/covering one eye at a time while looking at a corner of my room, observing how the picture would change without me moving my eyes (age ; listening to the rising and falling murmur of voices (too distant to understand words, close enough to hear voices) from the living-room when my parents were entertaining guests and I had to go to sleep - that got me into A&P once more, around age 11. Imaginig falling backwards into a vast space, at around 17, when falling asleep (another A&P-inducing one).

Keep them coming. I think we may be onto something here.

Cheers,
Florian

I never did. Later in my teens I did get into lucid dreaming for a while, but never had an A&P.

I dont remember intentionally trying stuff, but I would often get in my dreams sensations I now associate with 1st and 2nd nyana turning into 3rd - it starts off as pleasant expansion which then becomes irritating. These dreams were usually in 2D.

Hello-
Yes, isn't it interesting how these improvised practices can sometimes come by way of instinct to kids? Children can be fascinating little yogis in their own ways!
I have a number of memories of what seemed like concentration-oriented habits as a kid, at perhaps 6, 7 years old: Laying in bed, waiting to fall asleep or to deal with the fear of the monster-under-the-bed, I would often listen to the pounding of the pulse in my eardrums, and really focus in on it for ten or twenty minutes at a time. Further, I would visualize large, geometric shapes in space, spinning in tandem with the sound of the pulse. This visualization was deeply compelling and definitely brought deep silence, bliss and focus with it.
There were a few instances of fevers inducing really profound states of body-consciousness and the serious contemplation of death, the ending of all vital functions, and the absurdly peaceful feeling of acceptance that could come along with that.
Later, at about 13 or 14, lucid dreaming became an interest, and often I went to bed attempting to be aware of my body as an energetic form for as long as possible before dropping into sleep. The challenge was to be as completely conscious of my own presence and to carry this awareness into sleep. It certainly produced lucid dreams and interesting altered states, but more importantly, it convinced me of the flexibility of reality itself. That's an insight that propelled me towards the A&P at around the same age, I believe.
Great topic to raise, and thanks for letting us share our experiences.
All the best,
Gabriel