7-day retreat report

Hey everyone.

I stopped practicing for about 4 months after chilling out in Equanimity for a while, and wanted to get back on track.
It was hard doing this at home, so I went on retreat with Christopher Titmuss who came for his yearly Israel tour.

So at about day 3 I thought I may crossed AP and didn't notice, but didn't make any firm decisions, and then an A&P came, this time it was felt as if awareness turned towards all sesnsations and a 'WOW! life force.' moment.. Hehe.. its funny how A&P can have variations but it always includes a WOW moment, and it always fades into the dark night.
The dark night was accompanied by a strong vibratory headache inside the brain, in the middle, which slowly faded (it also included the usual phenomena of a kind of pessimism, general dissatisfaction with life and aversion to sitting) with Equanimity arising on Day 5.

I realized something important about the maps: knowing them is great for motivation, but one has to be extremely clear and trusting the process that the insights and progress ARISE ON THEIR OWN TIME, so all one has to do is just practice well and leave all else to trust,
because thinking that you can somehow facilitate progress simply adds more suffering into the mix.

Anywho, Equanimity deepening and feeling a true sense of wonder with the world.
I'm prety sure I didn't hit first path yet, though I am very happy and content (but this does tend to happen to me after retreats ,though this sense of absolute wonder has arisen after Equanimity started deepening).

So now I'm gonna work on this at home, now that the preliminary difficulties of A&P and pre-equanimity are out of the way.

A big thanks to Kenneth and Nikolai which still hold a special place in my mind that nourishes my trust in the process, which is vital for practice.

"I realized something important about the maps: knowing them is great for motivation, but one has to be extremely clear and trusting the process that the insights and progress ARISE ON THEIR OWN TIME, so all one has to do is just practice well and leave all else to trust,
because thinking that you can somehow facilitate progress simply adds more suffering into the mix.
-Yadid"

Wonderful Yadid!

- Antero

"Wonderful Yadid!

- Antero"

Yeah: +1

Welcome back, Yadid. Looking forward to further reports!

Thanks

Another little thing that became clearer yesterday after retreat getting back,
Is that anger and a fight or misunderstanding is suffering,
and the shame and regret afterwards or even during is an extra layer on top which again is easier to spot out as a fantasy. Hope I'm making this clear.

Anyway, another day of life, practice time

"I realized something important about the maps: knowing them is great for motivation, but one has to be extremely clear and trusting the process that the insights and progress ARISE ON THEIR OWN TIME, so all one has to do is just practice well and leave all else to trust,
because thinking that you can somehow facilitate progress simply adds more suffering into the mix.
-Yadid"

Great quote - I'm going to paste this up next to my monitor.

I agree with all the others. I love the realization and appreciate you posting it.