Brian's second path report

Since attaining to first path in January of this year, I had grown increasingly disenchanted with it--to the point that I began to doubt whether I even had actually attained it. Over the last few weeks, though, it has become increasingly clear to me that I did get it. My doubt was fueled largely by the next reobservation phase. And I began to believe that a fairly subtle but still powerful experience I had back on Februay or March was, indeed, the next A&P event. I had the first meditative A&P event in October of 2010 that was utterly mind-blowing and blissful beyond imagination. The magnitude of that experience made me doubt that the cool, full-body, electrical tingling sensations I felt back a few months ago while sitting all day at a Zen temple was actually worthy of consideration.

I started to have a hunch about all of this after talking to Kenneth recently. I noticed going back up to equanimity in some of my sits. I told Kenneth that I was guessing that I was oscillating back and forth between the dark night and the start of equanimity. After he affirmed that my hunch seemed plausible, I became more inspired to deepen my experience of equanimity and get the next path. He gave me a technique that he called mahamudra noting that helped me deepen my experience my experience of serenity. In any case though, I would regularly come out of equanimity and fall back to the dark-night territory. More than anything, the irritability of the dark night inspired me to plough on through and get second path.

Also, a couple months ago, a Zen teacher that I've been working with for several months instructed me to memorize the mu-koan. Once while working with him, he asked "what is mu?" I had just attained path a few weeks prior and I told him something bizarre like a dragon had swallowed the entire universe. He asked me where the dragon was and I slammed my hand down. (I have my own doubts about how weird Zen dialogue can be myself...) Anyway, he seemed to like that answer, but said that I didn't have enough insight to pass the koan yet. I evidently had come close to passing (whatever that means) but still had work to do. This also inspired me to work towards the next path...I wanted to have my progress in insight affirmed by teachers from more than one tradition, because I have this weird mission of trying to reconcile all of the different schools of Buddhism and seeing how they all fit together.

As I began to go into a dark-night phase that made me doubt koan practice altogether. In any case, my core practice since January has been noting aloud. I did manage to memorize the mu koan--at least for the most part--and, recently, I had a line that came to my head when in equanimity: "after a certain period of [intense] efforts, mu will come to fruition and inside and out will become one naturally...Then, mu will break open. It will astonish the heaven and shake the earth." I had the hunch that fruition part mentioned in the koan actually was referring to the 11th ñana--and not what Theravadins refer to as a fruition. I think that's the "breaking open" part, which astonishes the heaven and shakes the earth. So, anyway, while sitting, I remember thinking: OK, now it actually feels like I am this damn koan. There's no separation at all between me and it. And then I dropped in the expectation, without really grasping for it, this thing is going to break open next...

And it did! I heard some kind of noise. I am still not sure what it was--maybe a subtle crack of something in the room or outside and then WHOOSH. After everything seemed to vanish and reappear, I felt this strong electrical jolt that was followed by strong waves of cool bliss. There was this sense of disorientation, like "what was that? Where did I just go? Why do I feel SO different now?" In any case, it felt very much like the fruition I had for first path. This one seemed to be a little stronger though. But I think I'm less overwhelmed by it, because it reminds me of what happened when I got first path.

I described my getting the first fruition here, if anyone is interested:
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/44.../Stream+entry+report

Now I think I'm in the afterglow, honeymoon, review phase of the path, but I'm hopefully a bit wiser and have a slightly better idea what to expect as I continue along this ride...I suppose I shouldn't even be 100% certain that I actually did get second path, but there's so many things that make me think that I did:

Shifts in perception? Check
The Dark Night that plagued me a couple of days ago? Seemingly gone
Increased ability to concentrate? Check
Improve mood and confidence? Definitely
Feeling more seamlessly connected with the universe? yes
Follow-up fruitions? yes

I also read Ron Crouch's experience of getting 2nd path, and it seemed pretty similar to my experience, too.

All of that together leaves me feeling pretty certain. But, also, part of me doesn't really even care. I kind of feel fine with just being as I am, and don't feel like stressing so much about making progress in insight. Of course, another part of me still wants to go further down the path...which, I firmly trust will happen regardless of what I do. I'm beginning to trust this process more...

Brian

Congratulations Brian, well done!

So second path is achievable too...
/Pejn

Sounds excellent Brian, really interesting posts. Looking forward to seeing what's happening with you!

Great report, Brian. Thanks for posting this.

Wow, nice description, Brian!
Congratz!!