What does one do after having recognized ones own "true nature"?

I am That which knows. I am not 'Stian', and I have always known that I am I, but never recognized it. I am I.

What does one do after having recognized ones own "true nature"? Extend this recognition to be present in as much of the day as possible? How does one do that? Just abide in the recognition?

For those who have yet to recognize:

1) Download this document:

www.integralnaked.org/docs/infinity.doc (it's introduction can be read here: www.integralnaked.org/talk_infinity.aspx . Don't mind the goofy website).

That document is written by Ken Wilber and is called "From You to Infinity in 3 Pages".

2) Open the document, and before you read anything do the instructions on the website, reprinted here:

Click on 'Edit' in your tool bar, then click on 'Find,' which will bring up a 'Find and Replace' window. Enter 'John' in the 'find what' field, and then click on the 'Replace' tab and enter your name in the 'replace with' field. Then, click 'Replace All.'

3) Read the first paragraph (the first bit of text that ends with a parenthesis), and then don't read anymore.

4) Open your mind. Seriously. Suspend your doubts. This text made me recognize my "true nature" within 124 words (yes, I counted them) for the very first time in my life. After that last sentence, notice if you are expecting anything.

5) Follow the breath, closely, intimately, gently, for one single breath cycle. Then one more. Then one more.

6) Read each and every sentence as though it might be the one sentence that points to "it" for you. Seriously. I was cooked and ready to serve within 5 sentences.


Awesome stuff.

There are four aspects of I AM that can be progressed: 1) the aspect of impersonality, 2) the aspect of the degree of luminosity, 3) the aspect of dissolving the need to re-confirm and abide in I AMness and understanding why such a need is irrelevant, 4) the aspect of experiencing effortlessness. I've discussed them in my e-book: awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-e-booke-journal.html

Furthermore, there are further stages of insights after 'I AM', see awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2007/03/...s-of-experience.html

Phew... That is a lot of ... STUFF... to navigate. Where to start...

Impersonality: This is the case when practitioners experience that everything is an expression of a universal cosmic intelligence. There is therefore no sense of a personal doer... rather, it feels like I and everything is being lived by a higher power, being expressed by a higher cosmic intelligence. But this is still dualistic '“ there is still this sense of separation between a 'cosmic intelligence' and the 'world of experience'. Impersonality will help dissolve the sense of self but it has the danger of making one attached to a metaphysical essence. It makes a practitioner feel "God". At that point the analogy I made was like feeling an Impersonal source that is animating or '˜powering' the body and the personality like electricity is powering the TV to show the images on screen. Whatever happens on screen is '˜run' only by the '˜power' of the One Mind. Everything and everyone is the spontaneous functioning of One Mind, there is no individual doers/actors/selves.

The degree of luminosity: refers to feeling with entire being, feel wholely and directly without thoughts. Feeling 'realness' of whatever one encounters, the tree bark, the sand, etc. Everything becomes vivid, intense, real, blissful. Even ordinary activities like eating becomes wonderful, walking, tasting becomes intense, etc.

Dissolving the need to re-confirm is important as whatever is done is an attempt to distant itself from itself, if there is no way one can distant from the "I AM", the attempt to abide in it is itself an illusion.

The aspect of effortlessness gradually reveals itself especially after further insights such as non-dual. But you may focus on impersonality and intensity of luminosity first, for example. The four aspects will gradually pave the way to deeper insights like non-dual.

In short, focusing on these four aspects is crucial in my experience to the path after initial realization of I AM.

"Dissolving the need to re-confirm is important as whatever is done is an attempt to distant itself from itself, if there is no way one can distant from the "I AM", the attempt to abide in it is itself an illusion. "

This makes a lot of sense to me.

I understand that there is huge amounts of knowledge here that I am ignorant of. I might even have jumped the gun on calling what I experienced (and can now experience at will) my own "true nature". I assumed it was third gear. Let me explain briefly what I experience:

I think it might be what you have called "impersonality", but none of the words you used to describe it resonates with me.

I can somehow recognize that there is something which is ever-present, which is not what is called 'Stian'. 'Stian' is only a heap of concepts, ideas, behaviors and a biological machine - a person. But 'I' am none of that. 'I' is simply the awareness, the knowing, impartial and without concepts, thoughts, ideas, without judging of any kind. It is clear and pristine in its impartialness. And I am 'That' which I just described in the last sentence - I am that 'I', and 'Stian' is but play of causes and effects.

Of course, intellectually I can speculate that 'I' might also only be the play of causes and effects, but I've yet to see that. As far as I have seen, 'I' is the awareness in which anything "arises" or "is known".

I would not say that it is "cosmic". I'm tempted to use the word "witness", but... I don't know, this is not clear to me yet.

Yes, I understand what you mean there. This is not what I mean by impersonality. What you experienced or realized, rather, is what I call non-conceptual direct perception (of one's true nature). Since the realization of Being transcends all concepts, you realize you are not 'Stian', but you are this undoubtable presence-existence-awareness and is known as the witness. It is seen to be the ground of all arising. The non-dual, non-conceptual, immediate, direct mode of perception/being leads to a sense of certainty of being (no doubts present in doubtless beingness). The impersonality aspect will come later in your practice.

imo, your experience is closer to 2nd gear, 3rd gear is another aspect called non-dual where its realized that there is no division between witnessing presence and the world of perception. There is an article by Ken Wilber which distinguishes I AM and non-dual: awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2007/05/...-duality-by-ken.html . At this point however, I would suggest to focus on the four aspects first.

Good stuff. I was just about to edit my post to say that one might be inclined to use the word "presence" as well, but you already pointed that out.

So here's my original question, how does one keep practicing so that one can arrive at the aspect of impersonality?

EDIT:

I see that you edited your post. I always thought 2nd gear to be more of a concentration practice. One would get absorption in a certain set of semi-stable sensations and abide there until the sensations dissipated and in their place 3rd gear would be revealed.

I will definitely read that article. You suggest to focus on the four aspects first. How does one practice in such a way as to focus on the four aspects?

Regarding impersonality: Just let go of the sense of personal doership, sense of self, etc... just let go and let god, as the Christians would say. It is about surrendering to this greater power, that it is not you, but the life in you that is doing the work. It is the key of getting 'connected' to a higher power, to a divine life, to a sacred power - and one wants to lose oneself for this divinity to work through us. This is what is meant by, Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me."

Is this "letting go" another of these "now-you-don't-see-it, now-you-do"-things? I find the instruction to "let go of the sense of personal doership, sense of self, etc." difficult to understand. Maybe that article you posted will shed light on this? Or maybe not? Do you have any more detailed or alternative sounding instructions and/or know of any source of such instructions?

EDIT:

Thank you, by the way

"
EDIT:

I see that you edited your post. I always thought of 2nd gear to be more of a concentration practice. One would get absorption in a certain set of semi-stable sensations and abide there until the sensations dissipated and in their place 3rd gear would be revealed.

I will definitely read that article. You suggest to focus on the four aspects first. How does one practice in such a way as to focus on the four aspects?"

I would say there are realizations involved even in 2nd gear but perhaps Kenneth can explain himself... I remember there was an old model which says 2nd gear leads to Self-Realization (i.e. realization of I AM), 3rd gear leads to Enlightenment (i.e. non-dual realization).

The impersonality aspect I have described... the intensity of luminosity is about being utterly present in the midst of everything, with everything... its what Kenneth calls being grounded in sensations. This can eventually lead to non-dual, even though initially it can still be dualistic.

"Is this "letting go" another of these "now-you-don't-see-it, now-you-do"-things? I find the instruction to "let go of the sense of personal doership, sense of self, etc." difficult to understand. Maybe that article you posted will shed light on this? Or maybe not? Do you have any more detailed or alternative sounding instructions and/or know of any source of such instructions?

EDIT:

Thank you, by the way "

Yes it will definitely make more sense as your practice progress. I too was wondering what it all meant when my friend/teacher Thusness told me about the four aspects in my early days of realization, but in the following months it all became clear to me. You may want to read my journal entries if you have time to go through.

This is an alternative site about the four aspects of I AM: www.innerfrontier.org/Practices/JacobsLadder.htm

Hehe, this feels comical; Being told that my understanding will grow with practice, yet not knowing how to progress in practice xD

I just happened to stumble upon this this evening and thought I recognized it from Kenneths teachings, and so don't really have any practice.

Again, thank you. I will check out these articles tomorrow. I live in London, it is 06:18 in the morning here, and I have yet to go to sleep

Good night

"I find the instruction to "let go of the sense of personal doership, sense of self, etc." difficult to understand... Do you have any more detailed or alternative sounding instructions and/or know of any source of such instructions?"

"You" now want to do things, "you" want to let go the sense of self, and in fact you will try to let go of the sense of self because you have now seen a better Self. The more you try to let go the sense of self, the more you will re-affirm yourself. So letting go of the sense of self has nothing to do with trying, but instead its more about seeing and being pliant. There are many ways to do this: 1st gear helps a lot if you sense tension, resistance, etc. Mahamudra noting is also a great practice, its all about surrendering and recognizing that everything has been pure since the very beginning. You could also look into Dzogchen which is very similar to MM.

What do I do to surrender?
I trust, I allow every type of feeling (vedana), plesant, unpleasant, neutral. I practice honesty: what do I want to achieve? what do I want to control? What do I want to manipulate? and then I realize: there is nothing to achieve, control or manipulate. I also act when I need to act (i.e. eat when hungry, sleep when tired, go to the dentist when I need to, drive when Im driving, work when Im working). As kenneth says: one surrenders to activity also. What activity? the activity that is happening right now. Not surrendering to activity is a distortion of the True Nature.

- Alejandro

So I've been reading a lot of your blog AEN, and am currently reading you e-book/e-journal. On page 25 you write in the last paragraph that one could ask oneself "to whom is attention happening" and "when you are paying attention to your breath, what is it that choicelessly hears the sound of bird chirping even without you intending to do so?"

I take from this that this is something I could be 'practicing';At each moment when I can remember, I should ask "to whom *current event*" or "who *current activity*"?

I have yet to understand how to go about this:

"At this point however, I would suggest to focus on the four aspects first."

That is all part of Self-inquiry. Self-inquiry can be done at any time and any activities. In the past when I practised self-inquiry, when I sat, I inquire "Before birth, Who am I?" If I walk, I ask "who is dragging this corpse along?" If bird chirps, "Who is listening?" and so on....

Self-inquiry is a direct path method to realize and experience the I AM.

The four aspects gradually reveal through one's practice... its different aspects, for example the practice of dropping, letting go of the sense of a personal self or doer, will lead to a sense that everything or everyone is being lived or expressed by some intelligence or impersonal life. I think APrioriKreuz's advice is pretty good. Wanting to do things is itself a hindrance... the more you want to do something, the more you cling to a sense of a self trying to get something done which is kinda contrived and unnatural (like wanting to do something about your breathing), instead simply drop all desires 'to do something' and let yourself be lived, be done, in the same way you don't need to "try to breathe" but simply let yourself "be breathed" (breathing is natural until you try very hard to do something about it isn't it?)... then you'll start to see that you aren't doing the breathing, just let go and let be and gradually it appears like a universal intelligence is breathing you, growing your nails, beating your heart... the intelligence expresses itself in and as countless forms and beings... when you drop personality, that's what its like. But impersonality does not necessarily mean non-dual, or anatta. (at anatta u cease reifying a 'universal intelligence')

Practicing bare mindful presence/awareness in all moments, activities and sensations - if you are familiar with AF style practice you shld know - will definitely get you to experience the intensity of luminosity aspect.

"Self-inquiry is a direct path method to realize and experience the I AM."

Is the I AM the same as the Witness? I ask because I do not feel like I need to practice "self-inquiry" to "realize and experience" the Witness, the "I am I" as I called it. Maybe I am experiencing the Witness but not realizing it? Or vice versa? Or maybe I am just deluding myself...

I understand that the doer will stand in the way of being. But that does not exclude pragmatic instructions, does it?

surf said: "Practicing bare mindful presence/awareness in all moments, activities and sensations will definitely get you to experience the intensity of luminosity aspect."

This is what I am talking bout. Practical instructions leading to testable results.

Also, I'd like to mention that I have had some very vague and brief experiences of loss of agency - impersonality - when I have been asking the above questions (self-inquiry, I guess). And I would certainly call it "surrendering to activity"

There is a difference between mere experience/recognition of the Witness, and the realization of I AM. The realization of I AM/Witness is not merely recognition of a watcher, but a doubtless certainty that I am I, an unshakeable certainty of Beingness - thoughtless, still, pristine, complete, undeniable Presence. In recognition there's some inference - you recognize that "I am not my body, I am the witness/watcher" but isnt direct realization of "I". There isn't that quality of unshakeable certainty, that derives from direct non-inferred realization of "I" that you are able to rest with complete certainty in "I". For those who merely recognised, then self-inquiry will lead to the realization.

The pragmatic instructions (for impersonality) is simply to surrender yourself to the divine will, or the Will of the Universe as Jacob's ladder site tells you. If I AM is like source, the divine will is like the source of source. Drop all doings, let go of any sense of personal self, and let yourself be done, be lived. Yes, surrendering to activity is another way to put it.

Christians have an edge in this, because they are able to trust God due to their emphasis on faith, they are able to trust that the all-intelligent God simply "knows the way" far more than we know and give themselves up totally to Him... sometimes we just don't have the trust, we think we need to do a little more, we think "I" can get "it" done. We certainly don't need theistic beliefs to do this, but we do need some trust in reality so to speak... to surrender completely... trust that "things will be done by non-doing", trust in intelligence, life, mind, whatever you want to call it. Don't even think about "how"! Just like you don't need to ask how to breathe, that intelligence is simply breathing you. Trust, surrender, dropping, etc are the key points imo.

(realized that my post was off-topic)

After reading the "Descriptions of rigpa" thread and doing some looking on my own...

Really, that's it? Awareness? Just that?

Am I fooling myself again?

I read Padmasambhava's "The Instruction of Pointing the Staff" earlier today. I didn't grasp any of it. After having read the "Descriptions of rigpa" thread and doing some looking (whatever that means), I re-read that story, and suddenly a lot of it made sense now that my understanding was coming from this place - Awareness.

I also read through the slide-show that is linked to in the thread and continually seemed to "sync" or recognize or know or simply acknowledge the mundane fact of awareness.

It's no big deal, but I can see how there is potential for an enormous deepening of this, eh... acknowledgment; how it relates to a continually wider array of mind states/experiences/phenomena. E.g.: sitting here now, mildly content, recognizing does not have any extraordinary effects, but I can imagine that if recognizing became habitual in much more challenging situations, those situations would... be seen to self-liberate? Huh, first time I use that phrase. Suddenly, some of these phrases I've read around makes sense, or at least I find myself relating to them.

The feeling of "I am I" and awareness... They are two distinctly separate things, but I find that they are bleeding into each other.

I think there has been a surprising amount of insight coming to me in the span this evening. There's much I could say regarding this understanding that is "new", but instead of doing that, is there a test? Is there some crafty way to tell more certainly than my own gut feeling that "this is it"?

It doesn't matter so much - I will keep doing whatever it is I am doing. It seems very "productive" or conducive to "happiness".

One little incident this evening:

While acknowledging, it occurred to me that "this" (Awareness) is always there/here, in the grandest of ways. What a relieving fact. I don't think I understand very well why well-being is intrinsic to "Awareness", I have yet to dwell long enough to conclude anything like that, but it sure is shaping up to be a "place" of utter peace and stillness.

Hmm, looks like permanence = no suffering? Hoho; good one.

NOTE: What exactly it is that I have been doing this evening is just to repeatedly recognize the simple, mundane fact of awareness - just as mumuwu put it in the "Descriptions of rigpa" thread. That really resonated with me, and I keep doing it right now as I type this. Just the simple fact. Duh-uh! (as in 'obviously').

EDIT: One more elaboration: I would not currently explain the recognition of awareness in many of the ways that I see it described, e.g. non-dual. But I absolutely see how a deepening of this recognition will lead to a unification of subject and object. Awareness will "swallow" it all/it will all merge with awareness, and they/it will become not-two.

It is so weird because it is so simple! I can't believe I overlooked it for so long.

But yes - simply recognizing that you are aware at all, over and over again leads to this "merging" you are talking about (at least it did for me).

I'm sure glad I was still able to do it in a traffic jam this morning.

"While looking again and again at the mind, which cannot be looked at, The meaning, which cannot be seen, is seen vividly, just as it is." -The Third Karmapa's Mahamudra Prayer

Just see how many times you can keep doing it every day. If you want "more" of it, the best advice I received from Kenneth is to remember that each moment conditions the next - so you can build and increase momentum just by doing it more. If you feel like you are getting really stuck or confused, go back to noting and it might clarify some of the gunk (it certainly did for me).