Vulnerability and Transmutation

I found a couple of new tricks that seem to have some potential, which i'd like to share with you guys. note that these practices haven't been tested for possible side effects, and some of the later ones tend to cause some backlash after you do them, in the form of tension and dark-nightish experiences. This backlash so far seems to me a good sign, because i have experienced similar backlash from having insights.

Feeling with Vulnerability
Feel the heart area. Attend to the heart chakra. Try to move the witness-spot down to the heart, as if you were located there.
Feel that area, including arising emotions. You should be able to tune into a sense of vulnerability. Try to stay present there, to abide as that sense of vulnerability. Staying here will likely begin to open some stuff up by itself.
After this, try to reach out as that sense of vulnerability, and embrace recalcitrant tensions and other suffering-stuff. Feel the tensions as that vulnerability, abiding in the vulnerability that is reaching out from the heart and embracing the tension.
Grounding the witness may help stay present as the vulnerability, and also works well with the next trick.
If you can find a sense of restlessness/nervousness low in the stomach, around the hara chakra. Try reaching down and enveloping/embracing this restlessness. For me this results in a very nice calming down, which it seems possible to maintain with minor concentration, were one to practice.

Transmutation: Being Vulnerable to Vulnerability
Now, again abide as the vulnerability in the heart. Move the energy of the witness to the heart. Then, as the vulnerability, embrace the vulnerability itself and the heart itself with vulnerability. Include any tensions in the area. Do not try to move things around, instead, embrace and include, let the origin of vulnerability itself be felt with that same vulnerability.
If it works, the vulnerability should transform into a sense of clarity, for me tinged with melancholia/sadness/compassion. A sense of coolness. Abide as this clarity, be there, allow it to expand. Practice this. Turn vulnerability towards itself again if you lose it.
The witness may tend to distract from abiding as this clarity. Grounding the witness tends to help for me.
One way to deepen and expand the clarity is to breathe through the heart. Feel your breath going through the skin into the heart, instead of into the nose or mouth. Let the clarity breathe and expand, let it suffuse your being.

I'll describe what i consider the next trick in the series tomorrow, where it turns out you can transform the witness in the same way.

Oops, seems i forgot something. The purpose of the first practice is to open up to tension in a way that is hard to do otherwise. There is a sense of surrender in the vulnerability that tends to make tensions loosen up and dissolve. It also helps overcome aversion to feeling vulnerable and emotional, and helps tune into and sense that aspect of experience more precisely.
The second trick opens things up in a way that seems to tend towards aspects of rigpa, and provides a deeper change in experience towards peace, stillness and clarity.

I'm very interested in how these work for you, and whether you consider them useful.

Awesome stuff. These sentences remind me of Trungpa's "Broken Heart" of the warrior.

Interesting. This is very similar to a practice I have been doing lately. If any tension is sensed (for example a flicker of irritation, a judgmental thought, a pulse of anxiety, etc.), I "open the heart" and accept it and embrace it, and the tension either dissolves instantly or is not resisted and runs its course without increasing or turning into thought/stories. It does seem to cultivate an ongoing sense of surrender, inclusion and unconditional acceptance of everything just as it is, which I find tends to manifest as a sense of peace, loving-kindness, patience, and relaxation. Thanks for sharing that.

Transmutation: Liberating the Witness
There is a certain 'movement', an opening up and embracing, that you do in the heart to turn the vulnerability towards itself and transmute it. Turn the witnessing inwards towards itself the same way you did with the vulnerability, and let it embrace itself. Sometimes, gently 'holding' the position of turning inwards helps with the process.
The witness turns into an impersonal clarity as tensions at the spot evaporate. This is where I finally figured out that the tensions are not the witness. There is here an impersonal clear knowing-itself.
To deepen it, again, breathe through the skin at the third eye '“ Let the clarity/coolness/knowing-itself breathe.
Now, third gear is close. See like an artist. Notice that you were always already aware. Notice that awareness is boundless. Notice that awareness does not reach out towards things, but is already present wherever you seem to direct it. Notice that nothing needs to be done, that you don't have to be sure, that there is no one to be sure.

Excellent stuff Villum. Especially when done in sequence as you say.

Thanks for the replies. Hoping to hear whether you can get it to work. The first and second practices seem good for tuning into ignored emotions and cultivating a deeper openness in general. Also, please tell me if you get different effects than what i'm talking about,

Transmutation: The Clarity before Thoughts
Now, having understood the "movement", the turning-inwards, the embracing-itself, the seeing-its-own-face, notice thoughts. Notice that there is a subtle tension underlying the arising of thoughts. A subtle vibration, a turning-away, an irritation. This may seem to be the very possibility of thoughts. Go into this tension, abide there, and turn it towards itself. Go lightly, like the ghost of a wind, disturbing nothing. Let it embrace itself. Hold it before the mirror of itself, with the lightest touch you can. At this point, the turning inwards might be something you cannot do, something you have to let happen. In that case, practice letting it happen. Clarity arises, and coolness, and there are no thoughts. For me, there seems to be a movement similar to grounding thoughts, but with the tensions present only as coolness flowing down.
Again, experiment with abiding as this impersonal clarity.

As I followed along with your latest instructions, I was surprised to see you describing coolness as I was experiencing the same thing quite clearly.

Wonderful stuff.

Very cool stuff. This is very similar to my natural approach to practice. I like the way you sequence these practices too, it seems very useful-- just reading along I shared the experiences very easily.

On a side note, most people who speak of it on the fora seem to experience the "sense of self", especially in Witness mode, as in the head region. My tendency is to experience it in the heart region, which is probably why I resonate with these techniques. Villum, do you generally experience the feeling of being someone as in the heart, the head, both or neither? Just curious And what is the significance of these different tendencies/ways of experiencing the feel of selfhood to you/

The development of these practices was a response to beginning to feel being in the heart as well as the head. But i still usually feel "me" as sensations in the head - the form of being present i the heart feels more impersonal, and somehow deeper.

OK, thanks for your reply! I'll have to reflect on this. I began identifying the feeling of being me in my heart prior to taking up consistent formal practice or "attaining" any fruits thereof. But I'm not sure when, if it was always that way, or changed along the way, and if so how. Thanks for starting this thread

The Principle of Transmutation (under investigation)
I have been trying to see what it is that causes the ending of tensions into clarity. My preliminary conclusion is that it happens on a very subtle level of mind through something i will call nonattending nonpresence. It seems like it might be possible to rest in this level of mind, causing the ending of all dualistic constructions i am able to see, but i'm nowhere near sure yet. At first this nonattending nonpresence hid behind something that seemed to be a doing, but now, it seems to be simply a seeing. Go into the tension and disappear, direct your attention to there to end attending. So far, it seems possible to transmute/end any tension, even the very subtlest, through this method. What is going on here?
Ideas greatly appreciated, as well as further reports on how this works.

One thing to try:
Attend to seeing. Try to see backwards into the head without rolling up your eyes. Your should be able to feel some tensions there. Enter into them and become a void of nonattending and nonpresence - turn into the tension and allow a it to see itself. Ie. Same method as above. This should cause a blisswave and a change to seeing that seems to involve ending selfreferencing in vision.

Here's a little variation on the last one that I've been enjoying today. It's a subtle variation of 'direct mode' whereby you focus on how you know there's tension.

Tune in to seeing (out there).
Then, turn it on itself - how it feels to see (in here). This is (a lot like) the witness - tension behind the eyes, etc.
Embrace/release that tension by turning towards it gently.

To me, this leads to a blissful release of the tension that is localized to that area.

From there, you can extend to any other tension in the body: just find out how you know it's tense, and then release *that*.

The movement from 'out there' to 'in here' is almost tactile. I've been practicing this periodically all day and it's gotten quicker and easier. At one point I spent a few seconds tuning into sensations of space (5th jhana sensations in the head at first, then tuning into how I know the whole body is here) and releasing that. This was very blissful and might've led to a fruition.

Britlliant, Nadav. The focusing on how you know there's tension seems to be quite a bit easier than my method, and on first examination i seem to have been doing the same.

Oh, btw.
Nadav being a genius, short version:
Notice a tension (or other contraction). Ask how you know. Allow *that*.

It seems this can become habitual. I seemed to notice tensions being released as i was falling asleep last night