A Bahiya tautology insight...

"Then, Bahiya, you should train yourself thus: In reference to the seen, there will be only the seen..."

Maybe I'm a little dense, but I never noticed the tautology here before. From a non-conceptual perspective the above statement is *required* to be absolutely true. If there are no concepts than there can be no relationship, context, or subject for the phenomena. If there is something else to impute, then it is not nonconceptual mind.

Its also amazing how *believing* in this statement with the conceptual mind can allow the conceptual mind to let go and stop looking for anything else in the phenomena. Then, if the mind can see self (or tension-read-as-self) as phenomena then it is seen just as it is and *boom* you are a happy camper

Could you say a little more about "tension-read-as-self"? This sounds very familiar to my own experience - I increasing realise that the lump of tension in my neck, chest and back is also the location of anxiety, sadness, fear, worry, aversion, anger, craving etc, and also that when I try to pay attention to it in equanimity - i.e. with minimal aversion - some fear and anxiety arises about its possible disappearance.

I can only write from my own experience so YMMV. I would start noting everything as rapidly as absolutely possible. Note the phenomena arising, note each speck of vibration in your visual field, note the entirety of realty multiple times per second. Keep noting and you may have an increase in tension. This tension may be *about* something or in reference to something that you don't like. The referencing aspect of this is duality.

Ultimately this tension is just phenomena that can be noted. It may turn out that this tension is your sense of self. The sense of self is not "You" in the ultimate sense, its just a physical feeling. "In reference to the seen, there will be only the seen" The phenomena of this tension lacks any inherent essence, it simply arises spontaneously and vanishes.

I would say the fear is a very good sign. It too is just phenomena which can be noted. If it is overwhelming or too persistent, switch to Mahamudra Noting to incrementally let it go.

Not everyone likes this "shooting space-invaders" style of rapid noting, but for me it worked quite well to crescendo the tension and watch it dramatically release. Good luck! You can do it!

Thanks orasis. I don't tend to note quickly, because I note out-loud, as Beth and Kenneth teach. That means I can realistically only do one or two notes a second, just because of the time it takes to verbalise. But I'm noticing much more, and sometimes there is silent noting going alongside it. Also, in the Equanimity nyana, the spaceousness and clarity means that sensations feel like they are 'slowing down' and so my noting actually gets slower rather than quicker. Perhaps I'll try some crazy space invaders this evening.

However, thinking about what you said in the first post, I tried this morning seeing the sense of self in the tension (which there is), which leads to the idea that it can't be self because it's observed, and then a search for the self that is observing in a Second Gear sort of mode. Not sure what I'm doing with it yet, but it seems helpful.

Andy: That sounds like great stuff!

Does "I AM" resonate as the characteristic of this witnessing/2nd gear mode? If so, this is a much better perch to roost on than "I am my body" "I am my thoughts" "I am my tension/sense of self".

At some point, after doing any of the 1st/2nd/3rd gear practices enough, the mind may get lucky and notice experientially "In reference to the seen, there will be only the seen. In reference to the heard, only the heard. In reference to the sensed, only the sensed. In reference to the cognized, only the cognized."

Any of these solid, excellent practices can bring you to this realization. Go with what seems to be working!

So if I focus on "I AM", I find I'm really without perch at all. There's nothing there, although lots of stuff arises to fill it such as sensations, thoughts and so on. But we know that they are not self because they are observed. There is however a subtler sense of self which feels set apart from these observed phenomena, a sort of 'self behind' - but even that comes with an easily discernable mental image of a kind of window through which this perceiver looks. So I try to go back further. I then go into a tailspin of not knowing, which is abruptly stopped by what Kenneth calls the 'bluster' - the thought 'stop being so stupid, of course there is a self and that's final'. And that is observed as a thought. And so it goes on!

I tried space invaders last night - lots of tension, but retaining equanimity, albeit without the spaceousness and peace that usually go along with it. Instead just a sort of dry okayness. Afterwards the awareness felt strangely diffuse (relaxation in the eyes, happy to be left out of focus) and constricted (directed towards the front, out of the face, rather than the panoramic view I associate with Eq. Will keep experimenting.