JYET's practice II

"so do not forget the looseness.

"

Thanks antero, looseness is taken as pointer.

and yes the witness is not the way I would like to spend my life. Too distant from experince to dwell in always.

Been blessed by the blissful mother yesterday and todays evening. Lots of energy flowing in head, heart and also some kind of knot in the solar plexus area.

Just sat 1h struggle with what to say about it. At one point there was a sinking feeling down towards heart and belly from head. Thoughts came and went a bit more than usual. But nice to watch, asked who watch the watcher? but nothing significant happened from that.

Dwell as the witness at work, short bursts though. At most maybe a few min when able to sit still, moving maybe 1 minSometimes it comes on it's own but goes away when I move and concentrate on my work.

Wonderfully still and restful sit this morning. Made me remeber, surrender, letting go. But it just happened by it self. No control.

Spent my half hour from home to work absorbed in the witness, also effortless. It's still lingering around we'll see what happens when I have to engage with the physical reality as the day progresses.

Mind latched on to the tummo thread/idea yesterday evening. Read the wonderful promising descriptions of becoming a half-god and a storyline started. " yes I could need some of that fearlessness and charisma as I've moved to a new town looking for career in a new field. And hum maybe it will do something about my introvertness and hey, do I dare to say this? But being a bit more magnetic with the ladys would be nice. Wouldn't it?

Watching this happening I couldn't help myself but to try to hold the breath. First exercise, manged 2 min this morning although straining starts at 50 sec. We'll see what happens with this tummo whim. The mood is more positive this morning though. Could be the promising prospect of divinity though

Metta
Erik

Half-god, divinity, charisma, ladies....! Now we're talking!

"Half-god, divinity, charisma, ladies....! Now we're talking! "

Ha ha never claimed to be free of ego . Flows a bit back and forth sometimes drawn to exit the world, advaita, it's unreal right? Then suddenly the play is enticing again. But from what I've seen from other advanced yogis here ans elsewhere. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Another nice story to belive

Experimented with holding my breath on the bus manged 1:30 this seems "comfortable" now I feel i can do it everytime.. But also did another 2 min at work. The trick seems to be to focus on the stillness and bliss and relax. A nice way to take a mini break is to hold the breath actually as it leaves the mind calmer afterwards.

At 50 sec to 1 min contractions start at the solar plexus it's the bodys reflex to breath in I guess.

I'm curious where this will go! Cool.

JYET, what are you using as your guide for Tummo? Are you using Loco's write-up or another?

Yes beta I'm planning to use the Loco's instruction's. I might go through the thread this weekened and save all the practice related post in to a document. There is quite a lot. On page 7 in it he has written a weekly progressive guide. That*s what I plan to base my practice on. Did 100 rootlocks in bed this morning and my mood and energy level is great now. Want to go slow as I know how too much energy feel and the yogic comedownfrom the highs isn't nice either. Slowly but steady is the way.

I think Andy wrote up a summary instruction PDF from that thread? He was using it as a guide himself. Not sure he mentioned it there. I'll email him and ask.

Yes I did! And I rearranged it rather nicely with images etc.

PM me your email and I'll send it to you

Last morning and now again. There is a new intimacy with the space i rest in, subtly blissful, and I also started to hear the nada something I haven't recognized in a long time. Feels a bit like i sit in jhana but more effortless. Recognize this from when i practiced kriya yoga it would often feel like this afterwards.

This morning sit became 1 h 45 min long just didn't feel ready to quit when the alarm went off but did some leg stretching after 1 h though. Another curious thing was that the first hour was spent in half lotus posture, have never used that in a sitting session before, my legs fell asleep quite quickly 15min? But it didn't bother me until the 1 h approached This also used to happen in the kriya days. No desire to get up just because the alarm went off. Ended the session with sending love to dear ones across the globe my heart was expanding pleasantly so sent this bliss far and wide.

Did tsa lung along with the lama on this video today.

vimeo.com/28258180

Wow it really got me in to a nice space. Now I remembered how pleasant it can be sitting in an ocean of happiness. This lasted pretty much throughout the 1h and15 min sit. A very good place to inquire "who am I?" "where am I" "who*s aware of the watcher?" from those question's kept popping up in the restfulness. Two times when the samahadi subsided a bit i did a few yogic kriyas, pranayama up and down the spine, and the state came back even increased.

I have a confession to make. I've been stalking a guy for quite some time. I'm on his tracks, watching, observing. This guy is weird. I wonder what is diagnosis would be?

For some weeks now he's been very down. No energy to do anything but the essential's. Making stories about how his situation sucks. How he would like to go somewhere else. Fantasizing about leaving, transcending the world like a perfect advaita jnani. Instead of going to yogaclasses he's been doing chocolate yoga by himself. Hibernating in his cave.

But as I continue my observation one day he's changing. His whole outlook on life and living conditions changes for no apparent reason. Everything on the outside looks the same. But inside of him sparked an idea. "Let's try tummo meditation." That will raise my energy levels and make life fun and playful again. Wait a minute life is already blooming. I'm full of energy, my heart is vibrating with bliss. I've made the right choice that put myself in this conditions. I'm saying yes to life, it shines.

Can it really be the tummo? I'm only doing preliminaries so far?

Is this guy sane? Talking to himself like this?

I'm curious to see his next move? Will stories like this continue to pop up when he's supposed to be meditating, diving deep into silence? What's next?

The million dollar question is: Who is the one stalking? Who is aware of him?

Two things. After posting the little self enquiry story above yesterday it stuck with me the rest of the evening. Kind of pondering it self. Had a strong sensation of doubt and questioning in the tummy. WHO? WHO? WHO? It came back now when relaxing after work.

Found this pdf on "Great Doubt" practice. Been skimming the first pages and liked it so far. "Great Doubt, Great Awakening" as the zen guys say.

beingwithoutself.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/great_doubt.pdf

Did a little tummo cheat/treat today at work. Have been practicing seated breath retention's but this time I pulle the locks as well just to see what happened. At 50sec the shaking started. Just stayed for 10sec with it didn't want to go overboard. Left me very blissed out and happy. Have high confidence that things will move when I start for real-

Now yoga class and meditation group gathering. The couch potato is rolling out

The group sit was nice but. Mind was being more active than usual.

This morning i dived in to effortless "stillness" more than usual. Was a very nice sit where time past very fast..n Felt a little craving to go into uncounsiousness.

Morning sit was average stillness wise. But more interesting today is that I've done a few 4? sitting tummo repetitions spread out from morning to noon. And have had such sweet intimate loving bliss welling up in the heart all day. Accompanied by the feeling of being held and protected. This bliss is so unlike the pushing A % P kind that makes me feel a bit manic. This one is married with stillness somehow.

Wish I had someone to share this sweetness with. Now listening and singing along with Shimshai



"You are forever pure, You are forever true, and the dream of this world can never touch you. So give up your attachment and give up your confusion, and fly to that space that's beyond all illusion."

Have a tendency not to post when feeling down. This is not useful so here is one. Something is stirred up inside again. Feeling an anxiety knot in chest and tummy and I am fantasizing about going to the store to buy ice-cream.

Did 15min tummo by the way this morning. First time I officially did it. It's intense , couldn't hold longer than 1,5min And sometimes breath in gasping for air afterwards. Maybe it stirred something. Who cares? the sensation's and anxiety is not new and what goes up must come down I guess.

Awoke with anxiety knots in solar plexus and chest. also noticed suffering around a contraction in the head. Took a cold shower then did tsa lung and 15 min tummo. Took it more easy today didn't strain so much with the retentions, Did mostly 1min but two 1,5min as well.Have trouble with concentrating on the navel spot or anywhere on the body . My attention goes to the nada sound and the silent space that opens up in the head. Then sat for 45 min felt good and comfy.

Have been in a good mood the whole day taking care of practical things like cleaning and cocking, Now the sensations in the chest and solar plexus is back though. Ups and downs. What is really the difference between feeling good or bad? Why does it matter? It comes and goes as it likes anyway. Do my best to watch it unfold. Not perfect've watching though. I've realized that as well as getting carried away in the bliss states I also get carried away in the anxious one's it almost like I enjoy to really experience them. Flowing along with the experience of feeling miserable.

What's the point? Why am i practicing? Why do I believe myself to be a practitioner? Will I continue to practice? What ever that means? Why do I believe that it is important how I feel or what happens to me?

I'm sick of me and it and bla, bla bla in the head. Who's sick?

Have steped back on practice. Stayed in bed when the alarm went off today and yesterday. Laying there and feeling and inquiring "who?" instead. Only did 15 min of sitting tummo. Today the sweet bliss is back, spreading from the heart.. Do my best to remember to ask who is experincing it. A trap I believe I often fall into is to want to disidenitify when there is suffering but taking full delevirance and going with the bliss states.

"What's the point? Why am i practicing? Why do I believe myself to be a practitioner? Will I continue to practice? What ever that means? Why do I believe that it is important how I feel or what happens to me?

I'm sick of me and it and bla, bla bla in the head. Who's sick?"

You might as well write this down and save it for later, because you will most likely pass through repeated versions of saying exactly this. I know I have. It helps to remember that you are saying the same old thing again as you go round and round, and laugh a little at yourself. Your previous post had some good insights, also worth remembering.

" Instead of going to yogaclasses he's been doing chocolate yoga by himself. "

I love this! I do chocolate yoga every winter starting at about this time. But I'm not sure I'm ready to try what you're doing. Where, just in case, are the instructions located again?

Thanks Gira yes it sure feels like it goes in circles. Was particularly fed up on the day i wrote post 70 though. But been there before and will go there again most probably The bliss I feel today isn't new either. I have to admit that I had a hard time not smiling to much at work today. It's hard when there is a continues melting in the heart of pure love for experiencing existence and a desire welling up to share it with the world. Kept an inquiry somewhat going though and that's more than usual in those love feasts.

Ha ha Laurel yes lets make a story and blame the chocolate indulgence on the winter approaching

If you mean the tummo instructions? dharmandy has made a very good pdf collected from the tummo thread. Just pm him.

All expansive love
Erik