Howards Practice #3
- Howard2Clegg
- Topic Author
13 years 3 months ago #91073
by Howard2Clegg
Howards Practice #3 was created by Howard2Clegg
19th September
Review is most definitely over. It went on for about 10 days to a couple of weeks, much like last time actually. Like last time I had very little motivation to practice and only did about 45mins per day. It was a very quiet peaceful time. The main feature appeared to be that I was unable to worry about anything. In fact it was not until I left review that it was clear exactly how much worry had disappeared. Answer: all of it. All kinds of things that I didn't know I was worrying about came back in a rush over a couple of days, it was all a bit disorientating. So this time review was a bit like the holiday that I always wanted to have but never quite managed, no matter how exotic the destination; and all in the comfort of my own home.
So now I feel a strong urge to practice, the insight itch is strong and the need to examine my life is very immediate. Predictably the urge to practice jhana is receding again, not sure I like that.
Review is most definitely over. It went on for about 10 days to a couple of weeks, much like last time actually. Like last time I had very little motivation to practice and only did about 45mins per day. It was a very quiet peaceful time. The main feature appeared to be that I was unable to worry about anything. In fact it was not until I left review that it was clear exactly how much worry had disappeared. Answer: all of it. All kinds of things that I didn't know I was worrying about came back in a rush over a couple of days, it was all a bit disorientating. So this time review was a bit like the holiday that I always wanted to have but never quite managed, no matter how exotic the destination; and all in the comfort of my own home.
So now I feel a strong urge to practice, the insight itch is strong and the need to examine my life is very immediate. Predictably the urge to practice jhana is receding again, not sure I like that.
- Howard2Clegg
- Topic Author
13 years 3 months ago #91074
by Howard2Clegg
Replied by Howard2Clegg on topic RE: Howards Practice #3
23rd September
Kenneth has me doing an inclusive compassion practice at the moment, where all unpleasant sensations are fuel for the cultivation of compassion. It's quite a ride, often compassion is not the result but the unearthing of buried and long forgotten content. Sometimes a blissful period of metta, or sympathetic joy, either way it's interesting.
Alongside this I'm doing half an hour of Jhana. I have no agenda with this and my focus often appears to be way off but I often get into really nice places. Initially it was all a blur of pleasantness but just today I started to see transitions between say vast spaciousness and vast spaciousness with a hole in the middle, or vast spaciousness with total safety for example. I was starting to use these sensations as the focus rather than anything physical, this appeared to speed up the transitions. Not classic Jhana descriptions by any measure really, but I'm not sure I care that much.
Kenneth has me doing an inclusive compassion practice at the moment, where all unpleasant sensations are fuel for the cultivation of compassion. It's quite a ride, often compassion is not the result but the unearthing of buried and long forgotten content. Sometimes a blissful period of metta, or sympathetic joy, either way it's interesting.
Alongside this I'm doing half an hour of Jhana. I have no agenda with this and my focus often appears to be way off but I often get into really nice places. Initially it was all a blur of pleasantness but just today I started to see transitions between say vast spaciousness and vast spaciousness with a hole in the middle, or vast spaciousness with total safety for example. I was starting to use these sensations as the focus rather than anything physical, this appeared to speed up the transitions. Not classic Jhana descriptions by any measure really, but I'm not sure I care that much.
- Howard2Clegg
- Topic Author
13 years 3 months ago #91075
by Howard2Clegg
Replied by Howard2Clegg on topic RE: Howards Practice #3
25th September
So I'm doing this compassion practice all the time. An odd thing is happening though. I was wading through some icky stuff for a few days and 'sharing' that with the cosmos, as it were. But yesterday it suddenly changed. When I sat down my mind was flooded with all kinds of exciting plans for the future and happy memories of the past. This got boring after a while, so I looked to see what was behind it. What I got was a very stable arising of metta. So even though I sit with the intention with doing compassion I end up doing really solid and self-sustaining metta practice. Nice.
So I'm doing this compassion practice all the time. An odd thing is happening though. I was wading through some icky stuff for a few days and 'sharing' that with the cosmos, as it were. But yesterday it suddenly changed. When I sat down my mind was flooded with all kinds of exciting plans for the future and happy memories of the past. This got boring after a while, so I looked to see what was behind it. What I got was a very stable arising of metta. So even though I sit with the intention with doing compassion I end up doing really solid and self-sustaining metta practice. Nice.