Practicing 2nd Gear

Heya

A question in terms of working with the witness- are we focusing on/attending to the felt sense of "i am", or are we BEING whatever we are, noticing how we are already the subject, and relaxing or remaining as the one behind the eyes, between the ears, thinking the thoughts, feeling the feelings etc.?

When I stay with/concentrate on the feeling that I am, there's a bit of trickiness, as i don't quite know what to look for- I tend to settle on a warmish, swirling kind of energy in my heart-chest-throat, the feeling which most often goes with the word "I". i find myself imagining it as having a deep blue color to it. eventually, a warm, quiet joy arises. It doesn't feel like an invincible, transpersonal witness or "no-dog" so much as a mellow, intimate sinking into myself as a unique living individual.

Is the practice more about being the unknowable knower, resting as the subject? and if so, any tips/descriptions as to how to go about that in a deliberate way would be really great mostly i wonder if if i'm deluding myself here; after all, who is the one "watching" the sense that I am? what about the fact that both ways are totally recursive- I am attending to I am attending to I am?

Tangentially, when I realize that all of this stuff is impossible and I already effortlessly and completely am whatever I am, I typically experience a moment of surrender and a big ole whoosh of bliss that makes me grin uncontrollably. that "state" can't really be maintained; to have it happen I just have to remind myself to drop all reference points again. i think of it in terms of third gear, but its more like a momentary blackout than a "luminous clarity", so i wonder if it's anything more than just a neat trick.

Thanks for reading, any feedback would be much appreciated!

Hope you all are well,
Jeremy

also, such an irony that when I posted here over the summer, it was to spew out a long, bliss induced rant in response to a question about the witness! just remembered that.. might do me some good to re-read the universe works in some funny ways.

bump?

Whenever you felt like you imagine something, keep asking yourself, who knows? What is aware? Who am I?

Trace all thoughts to its source. If you are aware of something, i.e. blue color, that is a thought, but who is witnessing it?

Your core of existence is a self-knowing Presence-Awareness so there is no question of things being recursive as it is completely non-dual. Your very fact of existence is its knowing of it. Knowing-existence. Sat-chit-ananda: Existence, Consciousness, Bliss. It is Pure Consciousness that remains prior to all thoughts and perceptions. Trace all thoughts to its source.

Another hint: when Self-Realization occurs, there is complete certainty of Being without a trace of doubt left. At that point there is no guessing whether "this is it". So until then, keep inquiring and tracing back to the source. That's the essence for 2nd gear.

p.s. I have a whole chapter on self-realization and self-inquiry in my e-book - awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-e-booke-journal.html

Thank you xsurf for your response, it's appreciated.

So, you would say that the crux of 2nd gear is to recognize thoughts/perceptions as such and attend to the one who knows the thought/perception, "I"? This attending, for me, feels like a turning around to see that there's nothing really to see, like grasping at air (it's in this sense that I say it's recursive, as "I" see that "I" am not a discrete object). Pretty often, this seeing is accompanied by a moment of bliss, relaxation, and no-thought, but the whole thing is very brief and momentary; though "I" recognize that "I" am always "I", the process feels like peeking glimpses rather than a kind of abiding. So I'd like to ask you, how is this "tracing back" done, exactly, and what next? That certainty sounds wonderful Any further suggestions would be very welcome and appreciated.

Apologies if this leads you to rehash some of what you've already written in that chapter, I'll check it out. Your blog is awesome by the way!

Take care,
Jeremy

Tracing thought is not difficult. For example when thought arise, instead of fixating on thought, you inquire or notice to whom is this thought occurring? If a thought arise like "to me" then continue inquiring "who am I?" Or "where does the thought come from?" Or "who is the source?" initially When tracing thoughts back to the source you may discover that there is "nothing to see" or the I-thought dissolves. This is all well and good but this is not the purpose of self inquiry. Self inquiry should not stop at a dead silence or state of stillness. In this case you should continue inquiring "who is aware of stillness?" Until a clear certainty of beingness, existence, self-knowing consciousness arises. Until you have doubtless realization of the core of your existence. At this point, all thoughts including the I-thought has dissolved into the source, leaving only non conceptual Beingness or the pure I AM.

A good way to practice 2nd gear is to simply ask the question "to whom does this arise" and use that as a tool to investigate what is being taken as self in your current experience.

For example, if you ask it and a thought arises, you then ask (again) "to whom does this arise". Inevitably another object will take center stage.

If you keep doing this, eventually there's really nowhere for self-stuff to take up residence and you will find yourself in a 3rd gear experience.

It can be a very insightful practice.

Heady stuff, that question! I've been trying to keep it going since reading this post last night. It feels very much like meditating, bt without needing to set up any special conditions at all. Lots of joy, peace, anxiety, terror, and ease, all "just passing through", without collecting $200

I started off using, "where am I experiencing this?" I looked and there was nothing I could locate. I kept looking at whatever came up and there was just the experience and no subject to the object, Then second gear and third gear merged. No difference. The other phrase I use is, "What is experiencing this?" I too don't do second gear practice very often.

"I started off using, "where am I experiencing this?" I looked and there was nothing I could locate. I kept looking at whatever came up and there was just the experience and no subject to the object, Then second gear and third gear merged. No difference. The other phrase I use is, "What is experiencing this?" I too don't do second gear practice very often. "

What do you do as a third gear practice. What do you mean by "second and third gear merged." Are you referring to a shift from second gear to third gear?

Another interesting question is "where am I in this picture"

It seems to highlight what is taken as subject against the whole picture. It seems to bring both into focus in some way.

"What do you do as a third gear practice. What do you mean by "second and third gear merged." Are you referring to a shift from second gear to third gear?

"

I mean the "place" where I end up is the same for both 2nd and 3rd gear. I can use either gear's technique to get there but after that it is the same experience. (Excuse my use of "place" but I think you know what I mean.)

justthis,

If you can objectify your thoughts right now--if you can take a step back and look at them and realize you're the looker--then you can become absorbed as that looker, you can dwell as that witness at the back of the row that's looking at thoughts and everything else. If you become absorbed as that core subject of all experience ("I am") you might notice some pressure in the head, a good sign you're onto something!

Another thing that works for me is to simply stare at an object, let consciousness do a spontaneous U-turn (Adyashanti's terminology, I believe) and look back on itself, i.e., look back at the subject/witness, and then become absorbed as that detached watcher that I AM (at this point, anyway!). If I stay in this place I don't suffer, because I'm simply the witness of life, I have no stake in it. It's just a show now, all the thoughts and emotions and everything else. It's not me anymore.

I personally don't ask myself questions mentally (who's looking, who am I, etc) because in my case they tend to turn into useless mantras. I like to feel my way into witnessing instead.