Fourth Path

Well, since the third path thread has been so helpful. I figured I would open another thread up to talk about the home stretch. I figured it couldn't hurt to hear some suggestions on practice and experiences, etc during this phase.

I am not over the hump yet but here is my experience so far:

- started with a blast of fear when 3rd path happened, before this my concentration ramped up significantly and began experiencing NS and PL jhanas
- that turned into calm during review, nothing could bother me, I could see anxiety arise but it was very separate
- that didn't last long. Been full of anxiety and unsatisfactoriness during this path
- slogging around in practice, noting didn't seem to be 'right', more 'just sitting' type practice
- practice off-cushion is as, if not more, important as on-cushion and happens pretty automatically most of the time
- starting to understand advanced practices like mahamudra more clearly
- lots of self-inquiry beginning to happen on its own. Forming all sorts of questions about the self
- desire to sit is getting less and less
- realization that you can't "do something" to get this done
- everything is paradoxical...see above
- moment of real non-dual awareness that made me think I was done for about a week
- back into the nastiness again
- feelings of true existential fear. Dreaming of death, or that I have a terminal disease.
- now feeling like I have to get this done right now, but at the same time it feels like there is nothing to get done
- feelings like I am starting all over again, that I never got anywhere, and it is not possible to awaken

At the point now where I am not sure where to go, I am sitting still (sort of) and when I do, my concentration is poor, but self-awareness is so strong, I can feel everything and I am constantly checking in on my self for some reason.

(Cont...)

Anyways, I know these experiences may be unique to me, but I would love to hear others more detailed accounts of 4th path experiences.

I do know one thing, talking to a teacher and other practitioners has been the best thing at this point as well. Looking forward to talking to more of you at some point.

Can you relax into jhana practice?

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Can you relax into jhana practice?

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I haven't done jhana practice since about August. They don't seem like they 'do anything' to move me forward anymore. So I am out of practice. When I try to concentrate on one thing now (breath, 3rd eye) it doesn't take long before my mind is off investigating something else. Jhanas have been strongest while in review phases for me. When I am in the DN phases (like right now) it becomes very hard to become clear on them. I notice state shifts but the handles are unclear.

If you suggest working on them again, I will give it a go. I am sure it won't take very long to get my groove back, but they seem very uninteresting at the moment. Actually practice in general seems uninteresting.

That's interesting. I suspect I got the third path last month, and I too have become less interested in cushion practice and more interested in off-cushion practice. I'm suddenly a lot more interested in 3rd gear practice, too. Not much anxiety (thankfully).

Realized now I kinda posted this as a stream of consciousness during some DN'ish stuff. . I am cycling so fast right now i can go from terror to just fine in a matter of hours and back.

I know there isn't much I can do at this point, and I have talked with many of you about that. So...back to my practice log I go