Four immeasurable practice

I want to incorporate practice of cultivating the four immeasurables, loving-friendliness, compassion, empathetic joy, equanimity, especially the first and last. I have practiced this to some extent via an online vipassana course but found it difficult because it seemed "artificial." I'm aware that this is a common reaction and an expression of my own limitation. I'm looking for insight and advice as I would like to reap the obvious benefits, for myself and others, by addressing a tendency toward criticism and judgement.

Many thanks in advance.

aac

I remember there being a talk where Kenneth talks about a method for working with the brahmaviharas. It's the one where you think about something like having icecream and then move to thinking of how people have never had icecream, then what it would be like if they were able to have one, etc.

Does anyone know where that talk is?

What seems artificial about it, antiant? When I started doing metta meditation I felt resistance at times but never felt it was artificial. Do you start with someone with whom you feel an uncomplicated loving kindness? Then do you try to extend this feeling to a wider and wider population? What does loving kindness imply for you?

When I get to an openness to all living beings in a metta meditation, it seems to naturally flow into and contain the other 3 bramaviharas.

I think it feels artificial to me because it is more active rather than passive and observational. There is also the visualization aspect to it and the "generation" of feeling. Neither of these is particularly natural for me.

I don't think visualization is usually part of the practice, at least from what I have been taught. The generation of feeling for me is very natural because I start off with someone I love. I don't have to generate the feeling. for her. It is already there. Then instead of generating the feeling again I just try to expand it to include others. But, maybe that is just me.

Hey antianticamper, I shared your qualms about metta practice when starting with it. Yes it is active because it's designed to cultivate a new way of relating to things. It may help to contemplate the tendency to criticism and judgment, not as an exercise in self recrimination, but to realize that it's the mind's nature to distinguish and categorize. Generally we spend a lifetime unconsciously cultivating mental habits which create suffering. You're probably aware of this, so I'm just suggesting that contemplating the reasons for doing this practice more deeply may help get the ball moving for you.

This contemplation can include topics like how your happiness is connected with everyone else's. I think you'll find in the end that no one owns happiness, and that the more that's generated within by cultivation, the better it is for everyone. Another related contemplation is gratitude. What do you have to be thankful for? It can be anything, material or immaterial.

Also Jackha is right, there usually is no need to fit all four of the Brahma Viharas into daily practice. Cultivating metta alone is usually sufficient, but practicing sympathetic joy really helped me a lot too. Can you find reasons where being happy for the success of others may help you? Hope this helps.