Records of a Reclus

After attending Kenneth's introductory talk at Rest Stop Rejuvenate in New Jersey, I've been moved to jump in here and get more involved with the boards. Better late then never, eh? And seeing as most of the threads here sitting journals, I figured I'd better get on that as well.

First though, a little background. I've long been interested in things spiritual, but only took up a direct practice in late 2008, mainly inspired by Buddhist Geeks, Daniel Ingram's wonderful book, and a few other examples of serious modern-day practitioners. After trying a few meditation groups in New York, I settled on a Zen group and have been sitting with them for nearly two years. I have learned much from the Zen group as far as laying a strong foundation for my practice and a basic understanding of just what the path asks of you (as well as a few interesting experiences). But when it came to helpful practice advice, I felt at a loss. This is not something that Zen claims to offer, but as I stuck with the practice, I found it to be something I needed. I described my feelings in an email exchange with Kenneth as follows:

"When I was a kid, I once went to a Science "Museum" where one of the things to play on was basically a scaffolding, a forest of vertical columns with removable crossbars. Me and a couple other kids ended up taking all the crossbars up to the higher level of the columns, leaving no way for anyone to climb up. I've been feeling like my Zen practice was a sort of "karmic payback" for that... ; )"

The scaffolding being discussed is, of course, the training scaffolding offered to students at each level of their journey along the Path.

edited to correct from Rest Stop Relax to Rest Stop Rejuvenate.

In any case, at this point, I have added noting to my home practice, and still do plan to sit regularly with the Zen group. I don't see any reason that the two should be mutually exclusive, and so far I have had success alternating between noting and zazen (though not trying both at once). The noting has brought noticeable clarity and a calmness to my zazen, and the zazen, I imagine, makes it much easier to concentrate on "just noting".

I have a regular Chi Kung practice that has done wonders for my energy levels and emotions, and I also sit regularly with a group that follows Reggie Ray's somatic meditation practices. An example of those can be found here:
bit.ly/dnGylV
(anything labeled GM or Guided Meditation is highly recommended for really relaxing in a focused meditative manner)

So that's pretty much the basics. I think I'll be starting with the journaling tomorrow, though feel free to comment on any of the above in the meantime, if you'd like to.

Welcome, Ian. I'm curious, if you don't mind my asking, what style of chi kung do you do? Are you finding that the sensations of that practice persist when doing noting instead? Have those sensations changed or gone away? I ask because I also came from that background before taking up vipassana. I'm curious to see if the experience of someone from a similar background mirrors mine and what the differences are.

Well, finished up with my work a bit early today, and decided to sneak out into the stairwell for a 15 minute sit. I figure it's not different from when I used to go out for a cigarette break, only perhaps a bit... healthier? : )

jigmesengye, those are good questions I'll try to answer them shortly, want to get these notes down while they're still fresh.

Anyway, started off with noting sensations but this quickly slipped into 3rd gear. Kenneth has explained his take on Zen being a 3rd gear practice like this: "The 3rd Gear aspect of Zen is all the ways they point out that whatever state you are in is not 'it.' By process of elimination, they hope to point you in the right direction."

Most of my Zen practice has been a habitual "not this, not this", so I think 3rd gear might come kind of easily for me.

Anyway, I'd slip into 3rd gear, and then notice that I'd fallen out of it when I'd become aware of watching a specific sensation. At first I'd try to note that sensation, and then the next sensation and the next, hope to slip back into 3rd gear, but eventually I found it easier to turn around and watch the observer who was watching the sensation, letting the sensation itself fall away. Then at some point the wall of identity around the watcher would fall away and the sensation of watching would slip in amongst the other sensations and noises of the stairwell.

(cont)

I alternated back and forth between 3rd and 2nd gear, experiencing subtle waves of color, darkness, and light spreading across my vision from right to left, overlaid over my surroundings (I meditate with my eyes open, but this kind of felt like the colors you see when they're closed).

Eventually a feeling arose of a sort of empty bubbly awareness in my chest. I've stumbled on this once or twice before, though never localized to a specific part of the body. I sat there holding this sensation of empty awareness in with the rest of the sensations and then felt it move up to the throat, where there was some resistance.

I sat watching the resistance and then felt it reach to the back of the pallet and short of sunburst out from there. It was the feeling of seeing a sunburst, but no actual visual effects at all. More a movement. This faded back down into the throat, still with a little resistance, and then there was a pop.

No no, not that kind of pop. There some sort of water pressure machine in the stairwell that's constantly rushing water, and it must have hit a bubble in the pipes cause it sort of stalled for a second and kept going. This caused me to look up, a bit startled, and the alarm went off on my watch. Perfect timing. I walked back down stairs feeling kind of quietly giddy.

I have to say, this is powerful stuff. And the journaling aspect is pretty fun too. More to come soon.

"Welcome, Ian. I'm curious, if you don't mind my asking, what style of chi kung do you do? Are you finding that the sensations of that practice persist when doing noting instead? Have those sensations changed or gone away? I ask because I also came from that background before taking up vipassana. I'm curious to see if the experience of someone from a similar background mirrors mine and what the differences are."

Hi Jigmesengye,

I do Shaolin Wahnam style chi kung (18 Lohan hands), which I mainly learned it from Sifu Pragata Blaise (if by chance anyone is familiar with Pragata). More info on that can be found here: www.shaolin.org/

I've also taken some classes with Sifu Eugene Sitterman, also of Shaolin Wahnam. I've been doing this as a daily practice since May 2009.

For me, chi kung is sort of like taking a big breath of fresh air and a cold shower (when you're feeling hot) all at the same time. I'll notice heightened awareness in different parts of the body while doing different forms, but by the end of a practice session I just feel refreshed and energized all over. I don't really feel these same sensations during noting, but I am still quiet new to noting.

I find noting to be a kind of clarifying of awareness, an increase in resolution, whereas chi kung is more an increase in the feeling of aliveness. And I would say noting is more dry, emotionally, whereas chi kung has always had an aspect of joyousness for me (for which I owe many thanks to Pragata for his style of teaching).

But I am sure this must vary greatly from person to person. I would love to hear more about your experience and sensations, as I would guess you've probably been at the noting longer than I have. What chi kung style do you practice, and how long have you been doing the two practices? They definitely do compliment each other quite well!

Sat this morning for an hour, not nearly as nice a sit as yesterday's. Attempted noting but had a hard time finding anything to note. Mostly just brief runs of "tension", "pressure", "heat", and then "coolness" when there was a breeze. There with a lot of feeling sort of stuck, look for something to note but only being able to note "looking" or "empty". I kept drifting off and was falling asleep a fair amount. There was the weird feeling of realizing that I was sleeping while asleep and a sudden jerk awake when I remembered to get back to noting. The sleepiness really seemed to keep me down in 1st gear, as any attempts at 2nd or 3rd would cause me to doze off.

I also found myself kind of getting caught up in the story of noting, often after noting "tension", "tension", I would find myself looking around for a "release". Sometimes it would happen, sometimes it wouldn't, sometimes I'd find myself saying it even though there it hadn't actually happened. In any case, it still felt like a manipulation of the experience and unsatisfactory.

This was after doing 30~45 minutes of chi kung, during which I had some nice feelings of transparency throughout the body. I ended on a form for the head/neck and had the strange experience of my identity being located in my chest area, while my head was just another appendage like an arm or a leg. This was stable enough to hold in my awareness and kind of look around from inside that perspective, which was surprising. I normally find myself snapping back to my normal perspective when I try to look outward from or explore experiences like this.

"Sat this morning for an hour, not nearly as nice a sit as yesterday's. Attempted noting but had a hard time finding anything to note. Mostly just brief runs of "tension", "pressure", "heat", and then "coolness" when there was a breeze. There with a lot of feeling sort of stuck, look for something to note but only being able to note "looking" or "empty". I kept drifting off and was falling asleep a fair amount. There was the weird feeling of realizing that I was sleeping while asleep and a sudden jerk awake when I remembered to get back to noting. The sleepiness really seemed to keep me down in 1st gear, as any attempts at 2nd or 3rd would cause me to doze off.

"

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Basi...itation+Instructions

See the basic instructions above. If you follow these directions, you always have something to note because the practice is to note what the breath is doing. For many sits it doesn't have to be any more complicated or involved in that. Rising, falling. Rising, falling stopping. Rising .... etc. that's it.

Thanks Mike! I'd been working with the 4 foundations of mindfulness Kenneth outlines here: bit.ly/c6yv0v

But these basic instructions are great, and it seems, skills that come a bit before the 4 foundations (in that you can't do the 4 foundations until a good understanding of these basics is achieve in real-time practice).

The key thing that I think I was missing was this:
"If you are able to notice the sensations while maintaining the mental note, "Rising, Falling," do that."

Along with:
"I was distracted from the primary object (the rise and fall of the abdomen) by a pain in my leg. I moved my attention to the pain, which then became the object of meditation."
leading to this:
"This is how you deconstruct an apparently solid object into its constituent parts. Don't strain to see something that isn't there; just see what is there and DARE it to stay the same."

The funny thing is, the first part of these instructions about following the breath and switching to objects as they distract you is pretty much the exact same instruction that I've been working with from my Zen training. Its that last part, "see what's there and DARE it to stay the same" that was missing for me. Also, the fact that investigating sensations and noting the breath can be done simultaneously is helpful too. I think I was under the assumption that it was a juggling act, one and then the other, back and forth. This always left me feeling like something was missing.

The clarity with which these basics are presented here is wonderful, thanks again for the link. Can't wait to go try it out.

Oh, and Jigme Sengye, I hadn't thought to look for your practice journal. Heading over there now...

"

The key thing that I think I was missing was this:
"If you are able to notice the sensations while maintaining the mental note, "Rising, Falling," do that."

"

What has worked for me lately (this will always change I imagine) is to really be aware and notice what is happening on a sensation, feeling, thought level with each segment of the breath. Still just notiing the breath and just kind of getting that there is a vibration at the end of this "rising" and just before the falling there is a tension somewhere followed by maybe a vibration and in between the falling and the next arising something happens in the body or mind. These are minute, detailed objects that go with the "rising" "falling" and all the in between places. If one keeps doing just that in a relaxed manner after a while you see that there is an endless amount of stuff going on.

So you mean note "rising" "falling" "stop" and just kind of notice (not always officially "noting") the other sensations?

That is what I am doing. Again, from Kenneth's instructions:

"Continue in this way, letting your mind settle into the simple act of breathing. Become aware of the sensations associated with the rising and falling of the abdomen. Don't strain, just notice what is there. Maybe your clothing is rubbing against your skin. You may feel softness or warmth. Or you may feel expansion, contraction, tightness, hardness, heat, cold, tingling, itching, etc.There is no right answer; whatever you feel is what you feel. Your job is simply to become aware of what is happening in your experience. If you are able to notice the sensations while maintaining the mental note, "Rising, Falling," do that. This is the preferred method. In this technique, concentration (samadhi) and investigation (vipassana) are being developed together. Progress is made by keeping these two aspects in balance. If your concentration outstrips your investigation, you will get dull. If your investigation overwhelms your concentration, you will become agitated. See if you can maintain the rise and fall of the abdomen as your primary object of awareness, while continuing to note "rising, falling." "

It's working for me. It can get me VERY deep into the details of what is happening. Sometimes when I am practicing this way I get so deep that vibrations may overwhelm the breath and so then I'll turn to noting the vibes instead of the rising falling. Or, if I can't get into the rising and falling at first because of overwhelm thoughts or sensations or sleepiness then I will note those things until I can get to just what is going on with the breath.
Chris can correct me if I am inaccurate here but he made his initial vipassana progress mostly staying with the most minute details of the sensations of the breath in the nostrils with no noting. Just that.

Seriously! After I typed my response, I decided to give it a go and went to the stairwell to sit (I'm at the office waiting for my girlfriend to finish up at HER office). I started off with the breath, "rising", "falling" and then once I was stabilized in the breath, I started looking around for other sensations to just be aware of, while continuing with "rising" "falling". It finally felt like I was doing it right, like I firing on all cylinders. Meditation's never felt as natural as it just did. Mike, I owe you big time for pointing me to Kenneth's advice, I feel like I've walked out into the open air after being stuck in a cave.

From there things progressed on their own, without any thought on my part to figure out what to do. I later switched to a feeling of blockage along my right side and started noting "blocked" "blocked". The feeling of blockage moved from my right upper chest to around my ear to above my eye and then back down in the lower right part of my neck before fading away into a nice open relaxed feeling. After that I slipped into what felt like moments of equanimity (just the feeling, don't mean to imply the nana. for me, this feeling is distinct from bliss as it has a sense of relief rather than elation). Also involved were moments of those eyes-closed-colors when opened, again, the regular sweeping from right to left, almost like movie frames.

Towards the end of the sit, I really felt like I had the concentration and insight well balanced, to the point where I began to notice a kind of active quality about the concentration (forceful, a kind "no" toward being moved away) and a passive quality to the insight (a seeing-what-is, a yes to what's moving). Holding to both at the same time seemed to be almost a sexual act, a kind of joining of opposites. Very very nice...

Wow, that's great. It's amazing what following the basic instructions will do.
I think that if someone already has pretty good concentration, just doing this basic activity should bring fast results if done consistently.
I swear you will start to see all kinds of stuff going on just associated with the breath itself if you keep at it. Here are my two favorite quotes from Mahasi:

"In vipassana meditation what you name or say doesn't matter. What really matters is to know or perceive."
and
"There must be no gaps, but continuity between a preceding act of noting and a succeeding one, between a preceding state of concentration and a succeeding one, between a preceding act of intelligence and a succeeding one. Only then will there be successive and ascending stages of maturity in the mediator's understanding. Knowledge of the path and its fruition are attained only when there is this kind of accumulated momentum"

these words along with Kenneth's instructions have opened up an entire world for me -- try to really see, know, perceive what is actually happening in your experience RIGHT NOW (not what you'd like to happen, think will happen, hope will happen), constantly disembed from each object in order to be ready for the next one. Relax -- it's all right here, It doesn't seem like there is ANYTHING else to it..
It doesn't make sense, really, I know. Of course it isn't magic but it feels like magic to me.

That's really cool. I have friends who've learned from Sifu Wong Kiew Kit and highly recommend him and his system.

I've learned what's probably a different version of 18 lohan from my kung fu teacher, who doesn't really emphasize it. He teaches a separate course for zhi neng chi kung, which takes about an hour and half to two hours to do per day, though it can be shortened to about half an hour. I love it, but I've mostly dropped it in favor of the vipassana practice and never did it consistently. It's a slow, standing health exercise for chi circulation, and accumulation. My mainstay from August 2007 until this April was called shen zheng gong. The part of it that I did is a sequence of meditative exercises done sitting that among many other things accumulates a vibratory mass in the belly and causes concentration and rapture effects and patterns of chi circulation that become automatic when resting. It's a foundation for several taoist systems. I had trouble with the power accumulation exercise that was the next step and switched to vipassana. The reason I asked you about it was that during my vipassana home practice and on my two retreats, the sensations of this previous practice dominated and were part of every object, even completely mundane objects like the rising and falling of the abdomen. For a few weeks on the month-long Mahasi retreat I came back from last week, I was rather bothered that I was going nowhere in vipassana practice because my physical perceptions while sitting were dominated by the dramatically intensified chi kung vibrations. Even though I was noting, I felt like I wasn't doing vipassana, but rather a sort of intense involuntary, stillness-induced microcosmic orbit. I was wrong, it was the mental trickery of the dukha ñanas and it worked out for the best. I was doing vipassana, even though my body felt like it was doing chi kung. Interestingly, that effect has mostly stopped.

Wow Jigme, that's a very clear description, I totally see where you're coming from.

My chi kung practice is much different, beginning with a head-to-toe relaxation, a few breathing and visualization touch-points, and then some basic movement forms. A basic outline can be found here: bit.ly/dbgv6J
Though as it says on the page "practicing advanced chi kung without a master's supervision may bring serious adverse effects" (for what its worth).

I don't focus so much on accumulating energy as I do on clearing the energy channels in the body. The idea being that the chi knows where to go, and any direction from the practicioner would just get in the way (very similar to meditation, that). So while I feel effects during practice, they are very much momentary states I slip into. The only thing that lasts beyond the practice is a general feeling of energy and joyfulness, and even that gets quickly subdued under worldly circumstances.

On the other hand, if I bust out a quick couple of forms when I'm feeling tense or anxious, the tensions and anxiety fade really quickly now.

An hour long sit this morning, again a lot of difficulty concentrating and staying awake. Started off with noting the breath rising and falling but couldn't really settle into it. Switched to the 4 foundations but couldn't get past body noting. Switched to Zazen for a while, closely watching the breath without noting, but I kept falling asleep. Instead of waking myself up like yesterday, I decided to try to maintain awareness while drifting off. It felt similar to when I used to fall asleep in class, a really light daze, while still being aware that there's something going on around me.

All the trouble with sticking to a practice brought to my attention that part of me seemed to be holding out, not participating in the practices. There was the feeling of something missing in each of them, so I started noting "withholding" whenever that sense would arise. The rest of the sit was pretty free form, noting occasionally as it felt like I should and trying to maintain awareness whenever I began dozing off. I did have a moment of feeling my hands and wrists take on a kind of cold wet glowing feeling at one point though.

(cont)

The alarm on my watch woke me up and when I started to move my legs I realized one had fallen asleep. I hobbled over to the couch and laid down. I drifted off again and found it very easy to maintain that same awareness-while-dozing as when sitting (no surprise there, it had only been a few moments). But since I wasn't sitting, I didn't feel the need to do anything. I was laying there enjoying that state when I noticed a feeling above the top of my head, as if I were suddenly becoming aware of a space beyond the normal space that my mind occupied. I pushed up and broke into that space, a very strong feeling of puncturing something, and I kind of lost touch with things. There was a wave of bliss and the feeling of my body being split in two along the mid line. Afterwards, relief and joy and I slipped off into sleep.

I woke up a hour or so later and tried to do some chi kung, but found I couldn't concentrate on it, I was still feeling really good. It was as if I were trying to find constellations during the daytime.

I'm not going to try and guess what this was yet (my Zen training on makyo is kicking in pretty hard) but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough, depending on where my practice goes from here. I'm just going to enjoy this feeling of joy and spaciousness in my head for as long as it cares to stick around.

And now, 6 hours later, I'm still feeling pretty light and happy, with moments of spaciousness opening up, the nerves in my skin feeling more awake, like I've just cleaned the electrical connections or something.

I'm going out of town this weekend (essentially camping), so no more posts until Monday. I will keep up the daily sits though. I'm so happy to have finally taken this up full time.

Oh, and Mike, I hadn't seen that you slipped in there. Yeah, the basic instructions are powerful, and surprisingly, every time I come back to them the mean something different too me. I am continually amazed at how much I was missing before, when I re-read something I would have sworn up and down I already understood. Amazing amazing stuff.

And thanks for those Mahasi quotes. That really does further clarify things for me. Really knowing, moment to moment, with no gaps. Bam!

Which reminds me, something I benefited from this morning was changing the phrase "see how it ____" to "see how the present _____". The small word changes opened up my practice from being a witness watching this thing called "my self" to being an aware part of the present moment, including everything that was going on. Just for what its worth.

Blessings to everyone, see you all next week.

Back from the camping trip. Bitten all to hell by mosquitoes and flies, but had a great time. Nothing like bathing in a cold creek in the middle of a forest to wash away the harsh city vibes.

I did manage to sit both days in the morning, Saturday a noting of rising, falling, and Sunday strict zazen style. Its probably just from my personal experience/associations, but I find the "flavor" (so to speak) of the two practices very different. The Zen has a smoothness to it that it didn't have before, a sort of cold water feel, while the noting has now taken on the feeling of being a "regular" practice. It's a weird thing, I'll have to track how it develops.

Both sits were pretty basic, nothing major, though I've noticed that concentration seems to come a lot easier. On the train ride back to NY though, I got into the rising, falling noting pretty deep and had some pretty crazy visuals along with some bliss feelings around my third eye chakra (which was surprisingly easy to find. even now I can just sort of tune into it by focusing my eyes and attention up to it).

This morning I did a simple 10 Points practice, something Reggie Ray teaches for relaxing the body. I'm a bit sore from the trip (we were doing some work on the land in exchange for cheaper rates) and find that Reggie's practices have the added benefit of healing the body along with cultivating meditative states. Noticed lots of tension around the heart center and collar bones, along with lower back/pelvis area. Breathing into these and letting the tension sink into the earth (the basis of the 10 points practice) resulted in some pretty strong physical shocks, followed by a slight easing of the tension (which has carried through till now)

Afterwords, a good session of chi kung. I'm busy at work today, so I probably won't get a session in the stairwell in, but I'll be checking back in if I do.

So I did finish up early and got in a short sit. Started off with noting the breath, moved around and noted a few other things, came back to the breath. Kind of a slow start. Got some concentration going and at one point decided to do something from my Chi Kung practice called "smile from the heart" which energetically is kind of an open joyfully feeling in the heart (similar to the emotional feeling of a genuine smile on your face, but centered in the heart area). It's not always something I can do at will, but there are times that I can sort of trigger it. This was one of those times.

It lead to a surge of energy outward from the heart and then out through the top of the head. General peacefulness followed, and then more free form noting. Concentration was much easier now. Later, there was the feeling of blocked energy in the throat that I noted until it faded (no breakthrough, just an evening out) followed by blocked feelings in the lower back and chest. Tried the "smile from the heart" technique and couldn't quite get it.

The energy flowed up again to the head and kind of settled into the third eye area, feeling kind of stuck. I sat noting "stuck" which subtly changed to "blocked" then "open" then "moving" but the whole time it still felt like there was something holding back (noted holding back as well).

From there the noting slipped away from me and I started getting drowsy. Had a couple of sudden snapping-awakes, but was dozing when the alarm on my watch went off. Was unable to cultivate the awareness-while-dozing from last week.

A hour long sit today, not a very good one. Lots of "dozing" "sleepy" and "angry" "frustrated". I don't think I've been getting enough rest lately. Woke up to my alarm and curled up on the couch and fell right back asleep.

Lately I've had times during a sit where I get kind of stuck in an empty numb feeling around my diaphragm/upper abdomen. When stuck, I lose track of sensations and seem to have nothing to note. I try to go back to "rising" "falling" but the breath keeps slipping away, or I find that I am forcing it, as if the "rising" "falling" was a command rather than a note. I also try noting "empty" empty" empty" but I find this ends up turning into attempts to push the numb feeling away, resulting in the anger and frustration mentioned earlier.

It feels like an evil version of a concentration state or something, because I can easily solidify it, though its not all that pleasant. Annoyingly bland would be a better description... Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

Went to sit this afternoon and on the way up the stairwell, I came to the sudden realization that I've been stuck in thoughts about where I might be at on the maps and trying to find proof of it one way or another. I've heard the advice not to cling to such things many times, and it was quite strange to realize I was doing it without even being aware of it!

What I realized was that the problem with all this checking and measuring is that it was effectively stopping my practice. The unconscious intent behind checking was "I won't/can't go forward until I've figured where I'm at". Needing to know where I was at was essentially my fighting any movement I might be making along the path, a refusal to be aware of my current state until I could fit it into a framework. Obviously not a good thing. : )

So I made a resolution to disregard all attempts to guess where I'm at and started focusing wholeheartedly on the breath. When thoughts about where I might be at came up, I'd note "holding" or "perching". That seemed to help a lot and I slipped into concentration. As I went deeper, I noticed the feeling that I was wearing a mask over my nose and eyes, a solid hard feeling around the upper face area. This was something I'd experienced last night as well, during an hour long sit I forgot to mention in this morning's post (I'd been using a guided meditation from Reggie Ray). I'll have to pay attention and see if this persists.

I also noticed that I'd slip off into thought occasionally, to which I'd note "thinking". But soon after pulling out of being lost in thought, I'd feel a blockage of energy in the upper back part of my head, as if the activity of being lost in thought had blocked things from moving freely. This pattern repeated itself a few times during the sit.

Are you having any noticeable emotional reaction to the absence of things to note? You can just note that (pleasant, unpleasant, or reactions to them like craving and aversion). Same thing with the unsatisfactory (one of the three characteristics) nature of the breath, that you're clearly experiencing. You're also experiencing its uncontrollable nature (I found that the most practical translation of "anatta"), it's not acting the way you want it to.

FWIW, annoyingly bland is exactly how the dukha ñanas felt to me and I was noting objects I like (and I noted my craving for them). I'm not necessarily saying that's where you are, since I'm really not good enough with the maps to judge that, but it's worth reading the detailed descriptions of those parts of the maps to see if they match.

Take a look at page 26 and 27 of Practical Insight Meditation on Google Books (at bit.ly/cTBxWy ). Does it describe what you're getting? I did feel the breath as you're describing (and as Mahasi Sayadaw describes it) and I thought it was because I didn't know how to meditate on the breath without manipulating it, so I moved on to other objects which were simply finer and faster so I couldn't notice that they were as broken as the breath and thus signs of some ñana. The effects on sleep are described in those pages, too.