Alex's journey to the source of consciousness

During sitting practice, what I am trying to do now is to sink deeper and deeper at the very root of sense of existence, while allowing consciousness to fade away. The goal is to get settled in a state of wakeful sleep, beyond deep sleep and wakefulness.

Getting used to this state is said to allow one to gradually know the coming and going of consciousness. Eventually, one should understand that consciousness (or awareness) itself is just a thought (Ramana's "I-thought") coming and going with our natural state. Realizing that is said to grant liberation from life and death.

In the Zen tradition, this post awakening practice seems to be illustrated by the following story:

Zen master Tai-yung, passing by the retreat of another Zen master named Chih-huang, stopped and during his visit respectfully asked, "I am told that you frequently enter into Samadhi. At the time of such entrances, does your consciousness continue or are you in a state of unconsciousness? If your consciousness continues, all sentient beings are endowed with consciousness and can enter into Samadhi like yourself. If, on the other hand, you are in a state of unconsciousness, plants and rocks can enter into Samadhi." Huang replied, "When I enter into a Samadhi, I am not conscious of either condition." Yung said, "If you are not conscious of either condition, this is abiding in eternal Samadhi, and there can be neither entering into a Samadhi nor rising out of it."

"Getting used to this state is said to allow one to gradually know the coming and going of consciousness."

Hello, Alex!

In deep meditation, and sometimes in half-sleep modes, I get to a place where it becomes very clear that time and space are constructs. Is that the same place, or am I not deep enough? Does my comment about time and space resonate at all? I've always thought the place I can go to be a kind of primitive form of non-dual awareness because it's apparent "there" that literally everything is built from mind processes, especially mind processes. This place is what I have always thought of as the singularity. The source. The CPU of mind.

Edited for spelling

Wow, Alex. I have been having more and more experiences of what I figured to be 3rd gear. It sounds like what you are talking about. Yesterday, I was analysing why people suffer and the whole notion of dependent origination and something struck a cord in me. I'll try an explain it in my thread later on in more detail. But when I had this major insight which i hadn't considered since over 2 weeks ago now, something shifted in the mind like it took a slight step backwards. And now it truly feels like a non-localised awareness. It hasn't dissipated yet. Really intrigued by what you are talking about. Thanks!

Alex, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us all. This discussion is most timely and is so helpful in my practice. Wonderful that you are benefiting many by sharing here. I commend you for the ability to articulate so concisely on this subject. Sorry, I don't have time to say more at the moment, but I will be back.
Thank you!
- Tina

That's it Chris as far as I can tell. But it should be kept in mind that I am still exploring a new territory.

It is basically the state in which we find ourselves every morning when we wake up between sleep and waking consciousness, often without noticing it. It is a state of pure existence prior to the arising the consciousness. But it appears also that it is not only a bridge between deep sleep and wakeful consciousness, but the underlying natural state within which deep sleep, dreaming and waking take place.

Getting used to the space between two thought allows one to eventually abide effortlessly as pure non-local consciousness beyond thoughts, sensations and feelings. That's the first awakening with which we are already familiar.

Getting used to the space between sleep and wakefulness allows one to eventually abide effortlessly beyond deep sleep, dreaming and waking consciousness. Life should then feel like a lucid dream going on on its own while the sage remains in the natural stillness of the beyond. That's the absolute freedom described by Ramana Maharishi and Nisargadatta Maharaj.

Alex, all I can say is that having the experience has changed my view forever. I can no longer look at the world and imagine it to be solid. It seems to pervade the entirety of experience. But, of course, that seems to the the very CAUSE of experience so that it would underlie everything is no surprise. Then, too, that experience has increased my appreciation for the beauty that is every single human being. Since that is what defines all of us there is great hope.

Hi Nikolai,
Nice! If you now hold on to the 'feeling of existence' during sitting practice as well as during everyday life, you will see that it is not anymore identified with a body and a mind as it used to, but with the totality of consciousness (or non-localized awareness). The more you do it, the stronger it feels.

When you get used to it, you realize that you are starting to witness the totality of consciousness. If we can witness consciousness, it logically means that what we are is prior to consciousness (consciousness or awareness is only one of the aggregates after all). One trick is then to feel, and sink into, the empty space behind our back. Gradually, we start to take a stand as undifferentiated consciousness about a foot or two behind our body. As we get familiar with it, the totality of consciousness starts to feel like a luminous bubble within a vast all pervading emptiness.

What we are is neither consciousness (vijnana), nor the all pervading empty space (maha shunya) within which everything arises and passes away, but that absolute no-thing-ness that cognizes both, beyond the 5 aggregates. As such it is nothing that we can know or see, because we are That (as the eye cannot see itself). This is also the reason why the Buddha only defined it negatively, saying that it is not this, not that, unborn, undying and free from suffering.

Thank you Tina for your kind words. This stuff is very abstract and therefore very difficult to explain. I am glad that you find it interesting.

The idea of two minds or two aspects of mind is found early on in the ancient Taoist classic 'Tao Te Ching': '˜Using the shining radiance, you return again to the light, not leaving anything to harm yourself. This is called entering the eternal.' Here is an image of an ideal relationship between the original spirit as the source of power and the conscious spirit as a subordinate functionary. When clarified, the conscious spirit functions according to the situation without usurping the authority of the original spirit. The original spirit remains available as the reserve of total awareness, to which the conscious spirit returns without leaving any harmful fixation on itself or its objects.
In this way the intellect functions efficiently in the world without that conscious activity inhibiting access to deeper spontaneous knowledge through the direct intuition of a more subtle faculty.
The operation of switching from the limited mind of conditioned consciousness to the liberated mind of primal spirit is known as the method of '˜reversal' or turning around the light. In 'The Secret of the Golden Flower' these terms refer to restoration of direct contact with the essence and source of awareness.
This direct contact empowers the individual to know spontaneously and be free from bondage to created thoughts and conditioned feelings, even while operating in their very presence. In the words of the 'Tao Te Ching', one can thus be '˜creative without possessiveness.'

[cont.]

In both Taoism and Buddhism, the term '˜turning the light around' means turning the primary attention from involvement in mental objects to focus on the essence or source of mind. This exercise is practiced as a means of clearing consciousness and freeing awareness.
Many of the Taoists who had the strongest affinities with Chan Buddhism relied heavily on the exercise of turning the light around. Although this exercise is found in all Buddhist schools, it was particularly emphasized in Chan Buddhism.'The Secret of the Golden Flower' represents one of the most radical of these spirit-based methods. Virtually the whole text is devoted to the subtleties of this simple practice of reversal or turning the light around.-- from the end notes of the Thomas Cleary translation of "The Secret of the Golden Flower"; if you haven't made this book your good friend, you should. It's the pith instructions for your current explorations, I would think. Forget the Wilhelm / Baynes version; it's not even the same book.

Excellent suggestion roomy. Now, off to Amazon.com -- kapwing!

Thank you Roomy. Yes, Thomas Cleary's translation of 'The Secret of the Golden Flower' is by far the best.

Few books talk about the practical side of this particular aspect of Self-inquiry. My main sources these days are:

- 'The Path of Sri Ramana - Part One' by Sri Sadhu Om
- 'Enlightenment Beyond Traditions' by Aziz Kristof and Houman Emami
- 'Prior to Consciousness - Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj' edited by Jean Dunn

Some of you may be interested to check the 8th Chapter of The Path of Sri Ramana, by far the best technical description of Ramana Maharishi's method of Self-inquiry, way beyond the simple 'Who am I?' question (considered kindergarten stuff for the author who was no less than one of Ramana's closest disciple).

bit.ly/dAT6MQ

Aziz Kristof's book can be browsed here (in particular pages 45-60):

bit.ly/aN1mdB

Finally, here is the link for Nisargadatta's Prior to Consciousness (in PDF format):

bit.ly/djiNNr

Thanks for the research project, Alex! And I must say-- consider this a sincere compliment-- I don't think anyone else could have induced me to look at the Indian / Advaitin sources again. It's one of those things that I have had a negative reaction to, in the past... 'Hippie' flashbacks, maybe; I'm probably older than most of the rest of you.

btw, the Nisargadatta link turned up a 404 File Not Found for me.

I think this link to Nisargadatta works: prahlad.org/gallery/nisargadatta/books/N...20-%20searchable.pdf

Thank you Mpavoreal, for correcting the link.

Yes Roomy, when we strip away the Hindu cultural aspect of these teachings, we find real gems, keeping in mind that Gaudapada and Adi Shankaracharya, the founders of Avaita Vedanta, borrowed a lot from Madhyamika and Yogachara. Some scholar even called Gaudapada a crypto-Buddhist. Nisargadatta was also a lineage holder of the Naav Nath Sampradaya, namely a heterodox tantric Shaiva sect related to the Mahasiddhas who brought Mahamudra to Tibet via Assam and Nepal.

Hey Alex!

You wrote: "If you now hold on to the 'feeling of existence' during sitting practice as well as during everyday life, you will see that it is not anymore identified with a body and a mind as it used to, but with the totality of consciousness (or non-localized awareness). The more you do it, the stronger it feels.

When you get used to it, you realize that you are starting to witness the totality of consciousness. If we can witness consciousness, it logically means that what we are is prior to consciousness (consciousness or awareness is only one of the aggregates after all). One trick is then to feel, and sink into, the empty space behind our back. Gradually, we start to take a stand as undifferentiated consciousness about a foot or two behind our body. As we get familiar with it, the totality of consciousness starts to feel like a luminous bubble within a vast all pervading emptiness."

I just wanted to say, extraordinary articulation! Thank you.

Does it then follow that if we just sit as awareness - uncontrived, as it is, taking no particular object - and completely let go of all intention, mentation and doing, and do so for long enough and or regularly enough, that all that we are not will fade out of view, or be seen through, and we will realize that which is prior to consciousness and phenomena? Is just-sitting the path, or do you recommend the more focused, intentional, practice as described above involving falling back into the sense of existence? I know Ed Muzika of itisnotreal.com/new_site_home_page.htm recommends the later. I am inclined to the former.

Thanks,

Adam.

Thank you Adam. As far as I can tell, the 'awareness watching awareness' or 'just-sitting as awareness' method is by far the best until we realize that we are not the body nor the mind, but the pure consciousness within which body and mind arise. As one stage something clicks for good and it becomes effortless. Most non-dual teachers believe that this is the final accomplishment, but evidence shows that it is not the case.

In order to go beyond this first stage of awakening, I would say that we again have to become the witness. Not anymore the witness of thoughts, sensations and feelings, but the witness of the totality of consciousness seen as an impermanent object coming and going within a greater reality. This means also that we have to realize that what we are is beyond the experience of non-dual awareness, cessation/fruition, dreaming or deep sleep.

This second stage of Self-inquiry is precisely what Ed Muzika is describing. I must say that he is an exceptional Jnani.

It seems that the main purpose behind these methods is to get used to stop deriving a sense of self from consciousness. Gradually, we get more identified with the simple feeling of existence (awareness is only aware of being/ Skt. 'Sat-Chit'). It seems that when it shirks to its simplest expression, we start to realize that we never cease to exist even during cessation/fruition, deep sleep and possibly death.

We should note also that we find similar teachings in the Mahamudra and Dzogchen traditions, in relation with the subtle and subtler minds, the bardo sleep and the Mother Clearlight. In the end whatever works, works.

Thanks Alex! I must say you're an incredible resource - a generous one at that!

Thanks mate!

Adam.

Alex,

Thanks for directing toward the Nisargadatta PDF (Prior to Consciousness).

Regarding the following excerpt:

:::

Q. How can one, in the waking state, lose the sensation of the world altogether and just be the Self?

M. You will have to consult the sun. Ask him, "How do you get rid, of your light?" . . . light is the manifestation of the sun. Can you separate the light from the sun or the sun from the light? Because of the sun, the light is; because you are your world is.

:::

I've been reading up on Dzogchen lately, and this idea that the sun and its rays are inseparable has come up often. In the context of Dzogchen, the Witnessing or cognizant aspect is the Sambhogakaya , while the Absolute empty essence is the Dharmakaya. The non-separation of the two is the Nirmanakaya. Maharaj seems to be pointing to all three in his answer to the questioner.

The language is different, but the truths remain. What seems to be contradictory can be cleared up easily with a good analogy

Jackson

Hi Jackson,

I you check the end of the 8th chapter of Sri Sadhu Om's book, you will also see that his description of the energetic circuit matches the Dzogchen model.

I should mention that my recent interest for Nisagadatta is directly related to the fact that the shattering event that triggered my 'awakening' in May this year confirmed and clarified the essence of his teachings. What was (and still is) so obvious is that the ever present light of awareness (the feeling I AM) is first manifestation of the absolute present in all sentient beings. Tracing it back to its unconditioned source is liberation. Identifying it with body and mind is bondage. But ultimately everything is one. Everything is made of the same substance.Yet that one substance seems to create waves within itself to which it gets identified. Why? Maybe because the sun cannot see its own light unless its rays are reflected on the passing clouds.

"I always tell people, you depersonify yourself by not identifying with the body-mind. When you do that, you are that manifest principle; you are no more a personality, you are only consciousness. This is the first stage" (...)

"Now the next step is: are you a in a position to observe or witness consciousness? This is also the final step. When you are in a position to witness consciousness, you are out of consciousness. Then you are what we call 'the awareness state' or jnana state".

(Nisargadatta Maharaj, in 'The Ultimate Medicine', p. 156)

Yep, that's it. Thanks!

"
... the ever present light of awareness (the feeling I AM) is first manifestation of the absolute present in all sentient beings. Tracing it back to its unconditioned source is liberation. Identifying it with body and mind is bondage. But ultimately everything is one. Everything is made of the same substance.Yet that one substance seems to create waves within itself to which it gets identified. Why? Maybe because the sun cannot see its own light unless its rays are reflected on the passing clouds.






"

Wonderful articulation. Also, there seems to be a complimentary movement to this liberation *from*, a complementary liberation *into* full human experience, certainly before the permanent liberation to which you refer, and so presumably after.
And perhaps this connects to the "why?" of "why is there ignorance?" Although it's difficult to see or feel from the fragmentary side of the equation, from a more liberated side it seems clear that this wholeness appears to fragment in order for compassion to be possible, as the authentic foundation for intersubjectivity.
So while liberation *from* seems to entail a shift in the felt relationship of consciousness and content (first liberation) then absolute awareness and the non-dual field of total consciousness (second liberation), this liberation *into* brings this fealessness or stainlessness or distance *back* into full relational intimacy, brings the vast space back into the "small things". Just a few inspired reflections...
wonderful thread, Alex!

Yes, it seems that the Absolute cannot know itself unless is mirror it's own light within its own creation. As I start to understand it, its first manifestation is undifferentiated consciousness (non-dual awareness or pure beigness). Within this pure consciousness, the sense of existence rises. Like all sentient being, we know that we exist. This sense of existence then acts as a diffracting prism from which the Absolute (or the Source) projects the world. Exactly like within a dream, the sense of existence tends to get identified with a part of the totality of consciousness, namely with the image and sensations of a body as well as with thoughts and emotions. This partial content of consciousness is then taken as 'me' acting in the outside world.

When we reverse the process, we realize that the outside world, the body and the mind don't exist outside consciousness. It first comes as a peak experience when the sense of self dissolves suddenly into non-dual awareness (or pure undifferentiated consciousness). At this stage it is still understood as a special experience. It then comes back as a plateau experience and will eventually settle as a permanent adaptation where we know that we are not the body nor the mind, but the pure consciousness within which body and mind arise. This is what we may call the first liberation.

The second step must take us beyond the last duality, namely beyond consciousness (waking and dreaming) and unconsciousness (deep sleep, cessation), beyond being and non-being, to abide as That (cognizing emptiness) which knows the coming and going of consciousness.

In both cases, one is then able to zoom in and out with relative ease to enjoy intimacy with various states of consciousness. But in the last and ultimate state, one is said to be able to remain in absolute stillness, while allowing the dream of everyday consciousness to do its thing.

fascinating
It's very inspiring to read your reports Alex!
-Jake