Tales from the Zafu - Seraching for Stream

... Last 5 minuets of sit deep aches arose and was very restless. A few times though the sit I got the deep desire to get up and stop it all but felt it was necessary and important to keep sitting however difficult. Throughout the sit the usual hand tingling I am used to never really appeared, there were very subtle tingling in the hands but it never lasted or became defined.

45 minute sit - Noting - Seemed much calmer then usual - it was as if everything was turned down a little bit - almost distant. First portion of the sit I kept getting attached to thoughts and drifting off for a little bit but it was just no big deal. Some of the annoying heel vibrations and numerous aches and pains arose but nothing seemed to bother me. Hand vibrations arose a lot later then they have been but soon became strong and my concentration deepened. Entered into a peaceful calm state but things became more focused a little - i was no long so far away. Over all a very easy and pleasant sit. Was surprised when the timer rang, feel I could have sat much long.

30 minute sit - Right after previous sit - Followed breath until hand vibrations arose then switched focus to the pleasurable sensations there. "Its all good" attitude remained from previous sit.

3/15/11

35 minute guided metta

45 minute sit - Noted with wide focus while being aware of anatta in each sensation. Hand vibrations arose and concentration deepened.

90 minute sit - (45m sit / 5m walk / 45m sit) First sit noted with wide awareness. hand vibrations arose and concentration deepened.kept anatta in background awareness. Time seemed to pass quickly. Second sit no strong hand vibrations arose. I was more restless and bored. Concentration did not seem as deep but more subtle from sitting longer. lost reference of time having no idea how long I had been sitting - very in the moment.

Found out I did not get a job I expected to get, and was really looking forward to getting. Instead of reacting emotionally as I would have done I accepted it, felt some sadness and disappointment and saw how my attachment to what I expected of the future was the cause and problem.

45 minute sit - Sadness at beginning of sit turned into acceptance then happiness. Restless in sit - switch to bench with 20 minutes left. Got more concentration then hand vibrations arose.

85 minute sit - (55m sit / 5m walk / 30m sit) - General happy feeling for first half of sit which faded to being content. Hand vibrations arose and deep concentration. Became bored and restless about 30 minutes in. Concentration deepened again and hand vibrations got stronger. Body seemed to fade - felt like it was invisible. I felt weightless and formless, the top half of my body felt as if it were shimmer and waving like a flag in the breeze. Light headed but very pleasant. Tingling vibrations in hands and legs. Energy was flowing upwards to my head. bell rang but I kept sitting. Slowly form returned to the body. Stopped noting and put focus on pleasurable sensations for 10 minutes. Second sit I was more restless and less concentrated - little hand vibrations.

60 minute sit - Started off restless and drifting off in thoughts. I felt subtlety different. Became more and more concentrated. Tried due to late hour. Got deep into the meditation and lost awareness of time. Hand vibrations, difficult to recall specifics.

3/16/11

30 minute guided metta

75 minute mountain meditation (30m sit / 45m sit) - Hiked about a mile up onto a local mountain noting on the way and found deserted place to sit. First sit I sat on some rocks near a cliff drop. Fear kept arising with thoughts about various means of falling off to my death. Eventually reached a concentrated state. Second sit was under a tree and more easily reached a state of concentration.

45 minute sit - Noting - Hand vibrations arose and concentration deepened. Around 30 minutes got bored and restless.

30 minute sit (concentration) - Focused mostly on breath until hand vibrations arose then switched to feeling the pleasant sensations in them. Thinking was reduced and concentration deepened as it progressed. A few times pleasurable tingling arose in head briefly and seemed to cease in hands. Once it felt like I winked out for a second when tingling arose in head. Could have sat long, felt like I was just starting to get deeply concentration but needed to leave for sangha.

45 minute sangha sit - Noted silently, was able to sit perfectly still in good posture and keep up the noting at a steady pace. Hand vibrations arose and I felt very concentrated and peaceful.

45 minute sit (concentration) - very happy at start of sit. Kept coming back to the breath - very scattered mind and lots of sticky thoughts.

3/17/11

45 minute sit - noting - Sometimes would note in more detail: tingling pleasant happy, itching unpleasant annoyed. Noticed that when I noted a pleasant sensation I was happy and when I noted an unpleasant one I was more unhappy. The mood would change in a second and I could feel the change on my face. Focused on my hands for a little while which solidified a happy mood. near the end stopped noting for a bit to be aware of all the sensations on various areas of my body keeping anatta in the background. neat to take a step back and watch all the activity.

90 minute sit - (45m sit / 5m walk / 45m sit) - First sit counted breaths until hand vibrations arose then switched awareness to that . Got into deep concentration. Second sit noted, sometimes more detailed. Became restless with 10 minutes left.

45 minute sit - Mantra - Vibrations in hands and arms arose. Faded in arms and increased in hands. Putting attention on 3ed eye arose strong waving pressure for 1 minute. Stopped mantra at 30 minutes. Very focused.

45 minute sit - Noting - deep and pleasant sit. Hand vibrations arose. Reached a deep state of concentration. Felt different, like part of the conditioned self was absent. Pleasant calm and peaceful. Stopped noting at one point for 5 minutes to just be aware of sensations - felt like the witness.

3/18/11

45 minute sit - Noted out loud whole sit. easier to stay in the moment and get attached to passing thoughts. About half way though nervous fear arose with unpleasant sensations in my lower stomach.After it faded fear kept arising and my mind kept spinning bad situations that could happen to me causing very unpleasant fear to arise.

45 minute sit - Noted out loud. Calm and peaceful whole sit. Desire to get up and do something else seemed to carry no weight. I just watched them float by. At the very end got a spacious heady feeling then it felt like m body was tuning side to side quickly then folding in on it self. Time seemed to pass quicker then usual.

90 minute sit (45m sit / 5m walk / 45m sit) - First sit noted out loud, very calm peaceful and concentrated. Second sit counted breaths until hand vibrations arose then switched focus. Last 10 minutes got bored and restless.

45 minute sit - Noted for 5 minutes when fear arose in center of chest with a feeling of emptiness I switched to silent awareness keeping in mind if I was aware of it was not me. When my mind drifted I remember that the though was happening now. Became very focused, strong vibrations in hands with more subtle ones in other areas. Less drifting then usual, and was cut short when remembering it was occurring now. Keeping in mind if I was aware of it was not me made it obvious there was no solid self -just a lot of sensations and identified thoughts arising and passing. Useful practice and it was a great calm meditation.

60 minute sit - Noted for 5 minutes then switched to a silent wide awareness. Knowing in the background that whatever I observed was not me and that all thoughts of past and future were occurring now. Strong fear arose with sensations in the chest a few times, investigated it until it faded. Got into a concentrated state. Sat still without checking clock - a first for a 60 minute sit.

Impressive level of determination and effort. Keep it up and I don't see how you could fail. I was working very little when I started posting and think the effort I put in has paid off. Enjoy it while you can!

Thanks RevElev! Interesting stuff going on in your log, its cool to see people making progress.

3/19/11

45 minute sit - Noted out loud. Lots of boredom. Hand vibrations arose, subtle peaceful concentration.

45 minute sit - Silent awareness with Anatta - Bored and restless whole sit. Drifted off a lot in thoughts.

45 minute sit - Noting out loud - Noted to a concentrated state with hand vibrations when all of the sound in my right ear vanished like it was sucked into a void - there was a moment of silence followed by a loud ringing that faded over a minute. I could still hear sound though my left ear the whole time. The concentration seemed to be gone and I was in an odd state for 5 minutes, I felt normal, but something was different, like an underlying calm. A light tingling pleasurable sensation danced around the upper back below the left shoulder, it felt like the tingling had replaced an ache - or I was experiencing an ache as the moving tingling. My body seemed lighter with less pains, but they slowly came back - later aches arose on both sides of upper back. I slowly got focused again and hand vibrations reappeared. Focusing attention in the hand area deepened concentration to the point was hard to note and seemed like someone else was doing it. Became bored and restless in the last 10 minutes.

3/20/11

75 minute sit (45m site / 5m walk / 30m sit) First sit noted out loud, hand vibrations arose and concentration deepened. Seemed easy to keep up the noting. Tingling on back below left shoulder came up twice. Sneezing and blowing nose kept me from getting into deeper concentration. Second sit did silent awareness keeping anatta in background awareness. became focused, last 10 minuets got bored, restless and more absorbed in thought.

45 minute sit - Noted to calm peaceful state with hand vibrations. My mind started spinning horrible tale of bad situations that would result in lots of personal pain and grief, part of me enjoyed the fantasy and enjoyed imagining how it feel to experience horrible pain and suffering. Showed me how much the ego loves drama at any cost, and loves feeling and emotion no matter good or bad. Also showed me the mind is not "me" because "I" would never wish to experience such horrible situations on myself. Continued noting after stopping the thoughts and go back to into a nice calm concentration.

45 minute sit - Silent awareness - Felt fairly concentration upon sitting and it quickly deepened. Hand vibrations arose. A few times I felt subtle tingling all over my body and felt slightly more focused, never lasted over 1 minute. Lots of bright light activity throughout sit. not a whole lot of mental chatter, really got into the sit.

45 minute sit - Noting out loud - noted to a calm concentrated state with hand vibrations. Once felt subtle tingling all over mod. Near middle of sit noting became strenuous as I got deeper into concentration.

3/21/11

During a lucid dream I sat down to meditate - easily got into lotus posture (which I have never attempted waking, but doubt I could comfortably sustain it) within a few second of closing my eyes pleasurable sensations flooded my body. Seemed like the first jhana, and lasted about 30 seconds before I stood up.

30 minute guided metta - hand vibrations, entered into pleasant concentration.

45 minute sit - noting out loud. noted to a peaceful state with hand vibrations. Sometimes felt subtle vibrations in head and all over bod. Realized that all thoughts that kept arising carried a sense of self and they felt like egos constant reminder of existence "hey look at what I did! Look what I can do!" Thoughts seemed to be spinning and supporting the story of self - even though I did not cause the thought to arise but rather wanted a quiet mind. keeping this in mind thoughts seemed to carry less weight and attachment.

45 minute sit - Silent awareness- very hard sit to complete. Thoughts of things In need to do today kept popping in with urgency. Very hard not to get up and do them. Became very restless and antsy.

45 minute sit - noting - state of sit felt bored and disillusioned of meditating. Got into a concentrated state with hand vibrations and boredom faded. became happy and content. Once or twice felt subtle vibrations all over body.

45 minute sit - silent awareness - quickly became concentrated following the breath. Hand vibrations arose and I switched awareness. Got deeper into concentration - did a quick scan of the five hindrances to see which were holding me back. Saw sense gratification and let go of the desire. Instantly felt light tingling all over body - felt like a minor form of the first jhana. Lasted 30 seconds before fading. Hand vibrations remained full sit, sometimes spreading to arms. Remained concentrated and in a pleasant calm mood.

45 minute sit - Followed breath to concentration. For 1 minute on the out breath pleasurable tingling pulsed in a wave down body then became strong hand tingling. lots of bright light activity changing in intensity. A few times vibrations spread to arms. Once full body tingling arose for 1 minute before fading. Calm and peacefully concentrated all sit.

During the 22ed and 23ed I experience a lot of boredom in my meditation and less desire to sit - this is reflected in my notes, which I started to slack in taking.

3/22/11

30 minute sit- noting out loud - tingling arises in hands. Got bored and restless.

45 minute sit - Noting and silent awareness

45 minute sit - Noting - for focused with hand vibrations. Smiling increased feelings of happiness. Bored and restless near end. Lots of light activity.

20 minute sit - Concentration, very pleasant.


3/23/11

30 minute sit - Noting - bored most of sit, felt like I did not really care about meditating any more. became concentrated with hand vibrations. Things seemed to speed up and I stopped noting to be aware of everything at once - felt like the witness. Mood increased and boredom faded. Resumed noting. Became bored again and restless.

20 minute sit - Bored and restless

30 minute sit - Noting - entered a concentrated state with hand vibrations. Pleasant and peaceful, got bored towards end.

45 minute sit & 20 minute sit - no notes taken.

3/24/11 - Felt down most of day, like a mild form of depression - just didn't really care to do anything, least of all meditate.

20 minute sit - Noting

Had a 45 minute session with Kenneth during which he tweaked my noting. I had been noting mostly the bare sensations I felt, sometimes adding in vedena and rarely emotion. Thoughts were never noted because by the time I became aware of them they were gone, or they were either very quick. Now I will note all 4 foundations more evenly, and do so with nouns. So a big thanks to Kenneth! Feel I am noting much more correctly now.

40 minute sit - Felt concentrated upon sitting and very concentrated by 5 minutes. 30 seconds after sitting 2 very annoying itches arose, after 30 seconds one turned painful like a needle was poking into my skin. Both faded after 1 or 2 minutes. Noted in more detail including sensations, vedena, thoughts and emotions. Eyes flickered enough to cause them to open partially. Increased light activity. Kept adjusting posture, semi-restless. Hand vibrations arose after 10 minutes. Nervousness arose a few times from nothing then faded. Bored last 10 minutes of sit.

Have been noting silently while lying in bed falling to sleep. Sometimes feel vibrations, usually light activity going on. Also starting to note more when driving or making food, just comes naturally.

3/25/11

45 minute sit - Bored most of sit, little desire to meditate. Tired and sick feeling going into sit with head ache. Get concentrated quickly, hand vibrations arose 10 minutes in. Note all four foundations, including lots of "visual memory". Stay concentrated all sit, pleasant but boredom remains.

22 minute sit - Really tired, got concentrated but kept nodding off into a near sleep state so cut it short and went to bed.


3/26/11 -

45 minute sit - Noting- felt concentrated quickly after sitting. Bored throughout sit and restless last 10 minutes. Hand vibrations arose 10 minutes in. Few annoying itches that faded after 1 minute. Something felt different near beginning of sit but cant remember how it felt. Understand the noting technique more feel like I am starting to disembed.

45 minute sit - Noting - bored most of sit, very restless near end. Felt quickly concentrated. Middle part of sit felt very concentrated and tired as if I could nod off into a trance.

45 minute sit - Noting - Bored first half of sit. hand vibrations arose 10 minutes in and increased in strength. Smiled which increased mood. Vibrations spread to arms. Then a wave of pleasurable tingling and joy spread though me in a wave what lasted a seconds - felt like a minor version of my big A&B event. Minor vibrations remained all over body before fading in a minute. Restless last 5 minutes of sit.

45 Minute sit - Noting- Fear arose in first part of sit with empty tingling in chest. Later just the emptiness would arise. hand vibrations arose and I became concentrated. Bored and restless last 5 minutes of sit.

30 minute sit - Noting - hand vibrations arose as usual, along with boredom. Last 10 minutes of sit were rough. Lots of aches and pains arose, emptiness, boredom, very restless, anxiety, lots of desire to get up and stop - body anxiety to move - just crappy over all.

3/27/11

45 minute sit - Noting - Hand vibrations arose and concentration deepened. Near end of sit lots of annoying itches arose in various places. Boredom, anxiety and restless arose in last 10 minutes.

45 minute sit - Noting - Hand vibrations arose. nervousness came up a few times inn beginning then when thinking of things that would usually make it arise nothing came up. Last 10 minutes stopped noting and was just aware. Smiled and concentrated on the pleasant feelings and vibrations. became very content and happy.

45 minute sit - Noting - In middle of sit anxiety, boredom, and lots of ill will arose. noted it for a few minuets then switched to silent awareness. Smiling made the unpleasant feelings disperse and brought on happiness and increased vibrations - resumed noting.


3/28/11

45 minute sit - Noting- Bored and restless

45 minute sit - concentration - very pleasant, hand vibrations, some subtle full body vibrations.

2x 30 minute sits

30 minute sit - Noting - at one point noticed I had stopped noting and don't remember doing it, felt like coming out of a trance or void - feel like I drifted off to sleep, or a near sleep state.

3/29/11

45 minute sit - Noting - Agitation, annoyance arose in response to the very unpleasant itches. Strong urge to scratch them and to get up, noted them, tried to accept and see though them.

45 minute sit - Noting- First 15 minuets I was bored and restless - no desire to sit. Annoying itches arose. Then boredom faded and rest of sit was very pleasant. Hand vibrations, sometimes more subtle full bod vibrations and head buzz. Little bit restless last 5 minutes.

45 minute sit - Noting - Noted for 5 minutes then switched to silent awareness keeping Anatta in background of awareness. Felt concentrated upon sitting. Hand vibrations arose. A nervous fear arose located in chest - instead of fading in a minute as normal it sustained for about 15 minuets, fluctuating in strength. After fading hand vibrations increased and felt felt detached from arms. later it felt as if the body was translucent and energy was rapidly moving up and out the top. Near end of sit had visual thoughts of checking the clock and moving restlessly but there was a space afterwords where I just observed them but did not automatically follow though as I would normally do.

As can be seen I stopped updating the thread for a bit. Due to some personal life conditioning and weakness on my part I stopped sitting for about 9 days and only resumed once the retreat started.

I recently returned from a 10 day silent retreat put on by Goenka. I went against the instructions and did my noting practice the whole time - except for a maybe a few hours where I tried a few things out, and did not note much on the last day when we broke silence. At 10 hours of sitting of day we put in around 100 hours total on the cushion. I noted though all sits, and every moment I was awake, naturally slipping into when rising at 4 AM.

I went though far far to much to report here so will try and stick with the bare details. I noticed my noting really developed, at the start I think I was just going from major sensation to major sensation and being aware of and noting it, and by the end I was being aware of the whole body and as many sensations as I could at once and noting whichever sensation was most evident in that second.

It quickly became very obvious that my mind does not like to remain in the present moment, always thinking about the past or living in the future, and imagining lots of conversations. It did quiet down as the days passed, and even slipped into the moment. I went though lots of mood swings throughout the day, going from a depressive state to an elated one. The same thing occurred with the time left on retreat (I have EIGHT days left of this! How am I am going to manage - Ahhh eight days left to work on myself)

About the 3ed or 4th days I started to notice that the lights behind closed eyes started to flicker quickly. This had never happened before, usually the lights are bright and either solid or move slowly. Now they were still bright but seemed to flicker at a quick rate, this continued until the 10th day when it stopped for most of the day then resumed later. A few times my vision seemed to flicker with my eyes open, as if my eyeballs were vibrating quickly. When I opened my eyes wide my vision also seemed to flicker - although this suddenly stopped around the 8th day (just the flickering with opening the eyes as wide as they go, the closed eye flickering continued).

Also around the 4th day vibrations were once again felt in my hands - previously they arose in every meditation, but were absent until then. As the days passed I was able to be aware of more sensations at once and feel more subtle areas of the body and subtler sensations. Near the last few days I remember being really bored during the sits. It seemed vibrations increased, being more noticeable in my arms and head area.

Getting stream entry was in the back of my mind, and sometimes thoughts of it came up throughout the day for the first week or so, then I just stopped caring about attaining this or that and just went with the moment.

One of my roommates (5 people in my room) snored loudly, and woke me up most nights, I was able to quickly fall back asleep and slept generally well throughout the retreat. However on the 9th night he was snoring very very loudly in the most annoying way I have ever heard - I even thought that Jim Carey got it wrong in Dumb and Dumber THIS was the most annoying sound in the world. I awoke agitated and look at my watch 11:32 PM "It can't be that early! this is ridiculous." I started to become agitated then started to get angry when I silently asked myself "Who is that is getting angry?" All of sudden I entered into was felt like a void - black nothingness for what seemed a few seconds then felt strong pleasurable vibrations all over my body. I remembered reading a fruition felt like "coming home" and that was what this felt like, I felt different somehow. At the time I thought I had attained Stream Entry and was very excited but also very tired again and fell asleep within 10 minutes.

The day during sits I tried to get myself to experience another fruition or A&P by intending to do so then guiding my mind towards the states as I remembered them, but never had any luck. I felt different all day - but we also broke silence that day and I had just been though 9 days of intense meditation. I stopped caring if what happened was a fruition knowing if it was it was, and if not no big deal.

The last day during the sits it felt like there was a current of energy running under me, and though my legs. It kind of felt like the floor was shaking slightly, like a very mild earthquake. I have felt the same thing in my legs and lower torso area during meditation, and sometimes while sitting or lying in chairs.

Also on the last day I messed around with some sensations and tried a few things out. I concentrated on the vibrations in my hands and narrowed my awareness down to one finger, then to the top part of the finger, then to the small area on the very tip of the finger. I was able to do this multiple times. When my awareness was focused vibrations topped in the hands and only remained in the small tip area. Once when being aware of the vibrations in the tip a small area the size of a ball point pen tip started to pulse about 20 times per second, this continued for a few minuets before the pulsing stopped. In another sit vibrations seemed to be going down one hand and up the other, flowing a circle. I imagined the flow stopping them going other way, up the down hand and down the up hand. Immediately this happened, and I found I was able to manipulate which way the vibrations flowed.

Now that I have been back for a few days its more obvious I was in an altered state during the retreat, and feel I am now more back to the way I was before - not so much in that concentrated state. One of the meditations the day after I got back there was a bird chirping loudly outside. He would chirp about 5 times a second, doing anywhere from 5 to 30 chirps then taking a break then doing them again. With every chirp I would feel a pulse at the exact same time an inch above my hairline on the left side of my neck. When he chirped it pulsed, when he was quite there was no pulsing - it was very cool and lasted for about 10 minutes before he must have flown off.

This was by far the hardest thing I have done in my life - makes climbing the local peaks seem like a cake walk - but it was also the most rewarding. I learned a lot about myself, had some personal insights and some very beautiful moments. I highly recommend a 10 day retreat to everyone.

Sounds like a great experience, I'm jealous!!
Thanks for the report.

Thanks RevElev, really glad I had the time to attend.

Few more things I remembered. A few times over the course I feel I slipped into what may be the witness. It was like I was able to observe all the sensations that were going on. There were thoughts but no thinker, there was walking but no walker. It was all very impersonal and during sitting meditation felt like I was just outside and above my head looking down on my body watching it all.

Around the 5th day I had one very clear moment, I was sitting in the meditation hall looking around the other 60 people thinking that they have come here to work on themselves, to be a change for the better. It was incredibly beautiful, then I felt as if I saw things clearly, as they were. I saw myself in everyone and everyone in me. I saw all of desires to change, to touch the unconditioned. It felt like a clear glimpse into the moment, seeing things exactly as they were.

One last thing, even now I feel these weird vibrations in my legs. Its kind of like a minor shaking vibration pulses down from top to bottom while the whole leg vibrates. Its not unpleasant just different. I had to look closely at my legs to make sure they were not visibly moving, and they don't appear to, although they feel as if they should be. At times it feels like a stream is running underneath me, and though my legs. This seems to come and go.

I love the sound of this, Johnny Z. You had a great retreat and really got some traction. The temptation now will be to rest on your laurels, turning all of this into a pleasant memory. Instead, see if you can nurture it like the precious bud that it is. Instead of practicing less post-retreat, take it as a personal challenge, a matter of pride, to practice more. Keep the momentum strong and you will be amazed at how deep you can go with this. Keep on keepin' on!

Thanks Kenneth! I do feel the strong temptation to be lazy and slip back into my old habits and conditioning. Plan on turning tomorrow into a 'Dharma Day' of meditation and reading.

Did a 30 minute sit this afternoon

Tonight felt the energized current in my legs started getting stronger so I decided it would be a time for a:

45 minute sit - Noting: The current in legs became more apparent upon sitting and remained all of the sit, changing in strength. 10 minutes in hand vibrations arose and became strong, seeming to block awareness of leg current where hands where resting on knees. Hand vibrations faded in and out, smiling a half smile increased the strength of vibrations. In dark room, lights behind eyes became stronger and around 30 minutes became very bright and started to move around in a slow dance. The leg current, hand vibrations and lights all seemed to wax and wain constantly changing in a never ending dance. A few times the current could be felt throughout the entire body, but never lasted more then 10 seconds before fading from upper body. Felt concentrated and somewhat of a sedated feeling, pleasant sit.


One last note about the retreat: My final morning tea bag had a quote from Mark Twain that I thought was very fitting: "On with the dance! Let the joy be unconfined."

I've been working quite a bit so have not had a chance to update. My meditation time has gone down quite a bit, but I try to sit everyday.

Went on a weekend retreat though my local sangha which seemed very short after my 10 day experience.

The day after Vesak, or 4 days after my retreat I would suddenly come into awareness. While working I would all of a sudden become aware. It was a subtle shift, but very different. This kept happening throughout the day at least 20 times. After a while I noticed strong sensations would trigger it. Mostly strong desires such as greed, lust, frustration... anything strong and I would suddenly become aware. Once this happened the desire would melt away. The state would last a few seconds before fading, but I found by putting my attention into body sensations I could make it last longer.

This kept occurring, and I thought it must be the witness. When in the state it was as if the self was removed. Instead of me feeling desire, there was simply desire. There was no self to be found.

This lasted a week, with the awareness coming into being following a strong sensation. After that things seemed to change a little bit. I think it's just the state not being so new and unknown, now that I am used to it, its not as profound. I've noticed I will come into the witness without a strong sensation as a trigger, but just come into randomly throughout the day. It seems to come more often and last longer. While trying to sustain it I can easily do so for some time.

Talking or interaction with others brings me out of it, and is very difficult to sustain, and when I do it seems like I am distant. Thoughts are harder to be aware of, but I am getting better at that.

This has been going on for less then two weeks, but it's amazing to watch it happen, and see how grows. Will try and update again when I can.