Robert Practice Journal II

No pain today, huh, at least coffee and it's effects are cleared out, feel my energy is more stabilized. Hiking today had an insight and immediately afterwards a fruition. They happen off cushion. On cushion I'm spending more time in jahnas/witness as I am drawn to concentration practice now..'¦to avoid frutions? Perhaps in part, cycles and cycles, where do they end? With jahnas I know where I am, yet something feels appropriate at this juncture with concentration, same as in post #11, 1/2 week before last path moment.

Jhanas are getting clearer and deeper, seeing more details in each and trying to discern some of the amazing transitions that take place. I meditate in front of mirror (set up to work paint self portrait for class) and in #6-8 the eyes have an urge to rest on a particular spot if I open them (3rd eye, solar plux, belly), haven't checked out others but I'll be doing that. When I hit 2nd and 4th I have fruition, sometimes by surprise other times by subtle volition (ie if I dwell a long time in jhana mind can become bored so search for something). Have been doing 1hr when I wake & 1 hr at sunset. Off cushion I'm aware of being lost in thoughts often, catch myself, difficult to remain aware for long periods - even when riding motorcycle - thoughts constantly taking the stage, although the concentration practice seems to be chipping away at that blind habit.

Robert, I think (not sure) that you are the only person I've heard describe "A&P fruitions" . Did you get that idea from somewhere? I've only read them being described as A&P "events" but I can see why . Just kinda interested.

(Good for you on the coffee detox, no small thing!)

hmmmm....I experience a "conk out" after a double dip on the out breath. when this occurs in obvious a n p territory (tingling sensations building everywhere, lights..) I have a series of them. When these 'conk outs' occur in obvious equanimity territory (panoramic awarness, strobe effects...) I usually have only one followed by a bliss wave. Now I can trigger "conk outs" (immediately following second pause on out breath) in the Second and forth jhanas. I'll pay more attention to differences and appearance or not of bliss wave. Perhaps there is a type of fruition that occurs in a n p territory during the buildup to the 'event'. If no one else experiences similar things maybe I am disoriented due to cycles and fractals.

No worries. I have a lot less resolution to my experiences, but I think I understand the A&P territory "flash of light-perception hiccups" kind of experiences you are talking about. Just never heard them called fruitions, although I can understand why.

Jhanas getting deeper, yesterday I was in 4th and stayed a longtime and experienced an obvious transition as it deepened, staying w it I eventually had another transition landing even deeper. I than jumped to 5th (n up to 8th) and they were as I never experienced them, so rich and and, hard to put a word here, never felt so grounded in myself. This mornings sit for the first time I tried to call up to a 12th jhana, after 8th I experienced 4 transitions and 4 new states. As soon as I got to twelve I blanked out but not on a double dip, unlike a fruition. I've read about niroda, don't know, mind can play tricks. I now want to run through one of the riding the arch podcasts if I can find it.

Hi Robert,

Here's the guided tour to 13 jhanas video that I did with Nick Halay.

bit.ly/wYgbHJ

Thanks Kenneth! Awesome video, great descriptions of the way these circuits are manifesting as we progress up this amazing series of jhanas. What a gift.

Thoughts are so stickey and pervasive! And useless in most cases. Still mostly sticking to jhanas on cushion. I really like 9 n 11 - feel like super witness, intense, and 12 seems like what I think 3rd gear is like. At 13 I try to go into witness on out breath and into dream state on in breath, explore the transition, sometimes doing so I may get nirodha judging by bliss wave, not always, but these states have some staying power afterwards, keep thoughts at bay for some precious moments (as if on retreat). Off cushion trying to watch thoughts, see where energy leaks are coming from and dwelling as witness - 20% of time if that. Long hikes help sort out impending decisions, 2nd hour of hike I'm quiet enough to be fully in witness.

Lots of thoughts of how disenchanting life is, dependent origination simple to understand but confounding to internalize on a practical level. Lots of negativity in body today, manifesting in conjuction w emotions and thoughts. Three hour hike helped, afterwards hour sit noting w mostly dissolution and dark nights, so much unpleasantness welling up. Yeah, some Fridays suck more than others.

Today was amazing. Last night heard 3 hrs of lectures from John Peacock (Buddhism before Therevada). Incredible!! So today it finally dawned on me, dependent origination, yes, I get it - somehow then I was able to stay happy all day and night (ok, twice I was overrun for ~15 min) ! Had an incredible day, mindfulness was continuous like never before. each moment conditions the next. Yesterday sucked, today amazing, tomorrow?? Who cares about all that, everything I ever need is here in this moment.

2nd amazing day. spent in the studio working on art with a totally clear mind. Seemed only thoughts that arose were helpful - amazing. If something unhelpful arose it was dropped before sentence (in head) was completed. Went out ate n then found a band to hear live music and sketch, now this is unusual in that I don't feel comfortable alone in a bar but I was totally chilled. Very peaceful fulfilling day. Feel I got 4th path, no strong urge to sit but I will, then turn in. Oh, looking back can't say when a path moment occurred. Something clicked conceptually when I was listening to peacock but I suspect it occurred during sleep, seemed I awoke in a bizarre mind state and feel back asleep. Or was that a dream? Was today a dream? Thanks to the support of this lovely community.

It's been over an (incredible) week. Most of it was a honeymoon and I really, strange for me, wanted to be around other people. Very calm and grounded, confident. When I do access the jhanas, especially beyond 4th, not a lot, if any, sensations. The witness state is gone, replace by a total crystal clear scilence (whereas formerly it was first n foremost groupings of sensations in my head). As the week wore on some things would stick, recent issues that come along and stay awhile. But once dropped no looking back. To chilled to be very productive in art studio, Haahaha, impending deadlines quickly approaching yet still I chill and don't consider it lazy. Hmmmm. I do feel this part of my journey is over and am ending this journal. Thanks for inspiring me and good luck!!

Congratulations. Very inspiring!