JYET's practice journal

This brings us to her stance on concentration and energy practice. She strongly believes that this is another path than vipassana and is very cautious about it. She gave me several scoldings on how as a vipassana yogi, on this retreat at least. It was my duty to bring the energy and concentration down and how I will burn myself on that path. If I continue with this I must get a teacher as it is very dangerous accordingly to her. It has been running very strong in me through out my 4,5 years of spiritual practice. Having had both a shaktipat Guru 1,5 year and a kriya yoga teacher 1 year as certainly fueled it even more. Managed to see how I'm unintentionally is interested in the energy when it arises. But it seemed very hard to bring it down. Here in this community there is said that concentration is good and it is what is lacking in most yogis to bring on attainments so I'm a bit confused. Have a hard time buying her words about this actually. I said to her that I truly believed that my past practicing had helped during the retreat and she only seemed to partly, hesitantly agree

However Hildegard is a great teacher that has an air of teaching out of experience about her. I certainly felt that she has realized something through her practice. I feel that you can confidently lay your practice in her hands during the 2 weeks retreat at least. Dhammacari vipassana center is highly recommended.

So now what. What happened? Was this stream entry? I guess time will tell. What makes me hesitant is this bubbling happiness it has a bit of A &P feel to it. But maybe this is normal? Helped getting this down on print though .What does KFD crowd think? I highly appreciate remarks and comments. And excuse me for the grammar. I don't write this long texts often it has taken me several hours actually.

With Lots of Metta
Erik

I had very heavy energy activity, still do really, though it's no longer so erratic and tumultuous and disruptive as it was in past years. I've been cautioned in the past by people who had training in energy-based practices (qi gong, kundalini yoga) not to just let it be running wild, unmanaged, because it can be very disruptive to the balance of the body, mind and health. These cautions came from sensible, normal people with years of training, not people who were uncomfortable with it. I never did much about it though until recently when I started qi gong training. It's made a big improvement in my overall physical well being, sleep, appetite, and so on. So you might consider adding some yoga, qi gong or similar practice, under the guidance of a teacher, to help your energy flow coordinate with and support your meditation practice in a healthy way.

People who don't have that kind of energy activity or come from traditions that ignore it do tend to find it weird or consider it distracting. It is, in a way, not the point. Getting caught up in and thrilled by the roller coaster of energy activity is in some ways no different from getting distracted by thoughts and fantasies. So the teacher's advice was valid in a sense.

But you can't "turn it off". Some people never have strong energetic effects in meditation, others do. If you do, you might as well learn from traditions that deal productively with it as a supplement to your vipassana.

Two cents from someone who didn't follow her own advice....

"But you can't "turn it off". Some people never have strong energetic effects in meditation, others do. If you do, you might as well learn from traditions that deal productively with it as a supplement to your vipassana."

That is solid advice. Feels intuitively right. Thank you giragirasol No I don't believe you can turn it off and to be fair to the teacher she didn't used those words either. She said that the way to calm it down was to stop putting attention, fuel on the fire. to it. Doubt this would work either. My feeling is that it will end when it has run its course. But there is certainly a part in me that is interested and thrilled about it. Even liking the feeling of that the energy is in charge, not me. Even though I'm can take charge as well. Entering the 3 first jhanas is an energetic, emotional thing for me for example.

Funny that Qi Qong came up now in my thread. Take that as a sign because i actually did a 1h Qi Qong routine this morning before the sitting. Felt really balancing and great to open up the body. A few months ago my father dragged me along for a weekend work shop in the practice with his chinese doctor. Who is a real Qi Qong nerd. Have several mp3 of him guiding so there is no excuses not to do it. Make a resolution to do 1h each day from now on. My urgency to spend all practice time sitting has also dropped after the retreat so it's great timing.

And has the great side effect that I can practice Qi Qong with my parents which feels like a blessing.

Erik, did you learn Qi Gong in Sweden?
I'm interested in learning but dont know where.

And your retreat seemed great. If I could take a normal holiday...
I think if you describe some sessions now after, people here can "diagnose" you.
but you have contact with Ron dont you?

Hej PEJN Gick hos Björn Westin han håller weekend kurser på söder sporadiskt med ett uppföljnings pass i månaden. Det märks att han vet vad han håller på med prkatisera massor själv. Kursen var också inriktad på att du ska öva hemma med hans guideningar.

Vet inte cart du bor men det här kanske kan vara en början i letandet.

www.qigonginstitutet.se/Larare.htm

The system he teaches Xing Shen Zhuang seems very solid. My father have had great health benefits from doing it now in a half year and i can feel the energy running, smoothing out and building with it.

Yes I think will schedule a session with Ron.

Yesterdays practice: Experienced some doubt today. Because of negative emotions and mind states. Also felt a craving to experience more equanimity and the phenomena I believe was fruitions 3 sits felt different negative emotions like sadness, doubt and lots of heaviness especially in on sit in the afternoon. Felt like i had an iron ball in my forehead. Towards the end of that sit however everything lightened up and became easy might have reached equanimity. also had rocking, swaying and grimacing kriyas.

Today so far 2 noting sittings started with lots of sighing, tiredness then ended in the calm, tranquil space that feels like the forth jhana,. Have to be equanimity.

Third sitting 40min jhanas they defiantly feels different after the retreat. i just think of a number and it effortlessly arises. Also have access to something after the 7th now. It feels like the watcher is almost completely gone. I think 8th and it arise so I guess thats what it is. Went 1-8 in order then jumped down to 4th then 2th which felt so good that i spontaneously started expanding the love in the chest and sent metta to family, friends, enemies (can't say I feel much enmity anymore). Then I sent some to the characters here on KFD. Felt fun to send to people I couldn't visualize. Just thought of you guys user names.

Metta Erik

Yesterday decided to sit one more time before going to bed. Can the timer set of a fruition? had it on 30min intervals vibrating 1sec. Started noting out loud After 20 min i came to equanimity, very calm, peaceful , tranquil the mind didn't want to keep up the noting several times i suddenly just rested in the calm and had to remind myself to start again. My neighboring apartment started playing loud music, didn't bother me in the least. Then the timer went off. I got the same sudden feeling as when you get scared the head fell down and a happy, bliss wave came. After that I spen 15 more min on the cushion with a big happy grin on my face. The last min sending metta.

Have been grasping to have this experience again after the retreat. Of course it doesn't happen when you anticipate it. But now my mind got struck sudden, by the timer, zen stick ha ha.

Talked to Ron yesterday. He confirmed it's very likely that i attained SE at the retreat. Felt strongly that that was the case myself but nice to have it verified. We also talked about that I should do less samatha from 50% to 25%. I should also enjoy life now in this new lighter mood. Liked that instruction it's easy to follow and look after changes in my experience of the world, moods, emotions, anything.

Changes so far: Feel lighter some how, very subtle. The feeling of urgency have also dropped right now. Also feeling more urge to participate socially. I'm a super introvert, was a lurker on this forum for 2 years for ex. before writing my first post. I always have had the sense that my opinions or contributions wouldn't add anything to discussions on message boards before. Suddenly there is a urge to participate and that it doesn't matter what other people think of it. This is quite a big change for me.

He also explained the review phases. i can't say that i can recognize all the nanas in every sit it feels more like the cycle is longer and may take a day or so to complete. I won't worry to much about that however.

In the tradition I will start a new thread and post a link to it here. Onwards, grinding away.......

Najs!
Welcome to the ride, up and down it goes...

New Journal

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/49...JYET%27s+practice+II