Andy's practice thread
- AndyW45
- Topic Author
13 years 7 months ago #74125
by AndyW45
Replied by AndyW45 on topic RE: Andy's practice thread
Just sat for 2 hours, in various stages. The first 30 mins I did Reggie Ray's 10 points exercise while lying down with the knees up. The idea is to feel and then release tension downwards through the ten points on your body that touch the floor. It's really effective for calming the mind and body, and instilling a gentler and kinder attitude towards tension and the body. Then I sat up and did 30 minutes of whole-body shamatha, still releasing tension when it arose, but anchored in the breath, feeling it wherever it manifested, and not just in a single point. I had intended to take a break after the first hour but I was so chilled out that I just restarted the timer and sat right through. I continued the body-based shamatha for 15 minutes, switched to single-pointed breath counting, and once I'd done three or four rounds I started to note outloud, very gently for the rest of the sit, again focusing on tension and release.
It was very calm, very equanimous, even though I was looking at unpleasant sensations. I started to see how there is a "sweet ache" in every knot, like the kind you get in a massage, which is pleasant in a counter-intuitive sort of way, as well as a very palpable and quite pleasant sense of anticipation of release. The sweet ache is the flipside of the unpleasantness of tension, and the anticipation is the flipside of aversion. I wondered whether I was actually clinging to knots because of the sweet ache and the pleasant anticipation of release. Memories of childhood arose - places from my early adolescence. Noted imaging thoughts.
Some planning and restlessness towards the end, particularly after I allowed myself to adjust my leg position (I'd been sitting still for at least 80 minutes by this point). Noted: story-telling thought, restlessness, planning, anticipation, and they soon quietened down.
Spaceousness, clarity, calm and gentleness throughout.
It was very calm, very equanimous, even though I was looking at unpleasant sensations. I started to see how there is a "sweet ache" in every knot, like the kind you get in a massage, which is pleasant in a counter-intuitive sort of way, as well as a very palpable and quite pleasant sense of anticipation of release. The sweet ache is the flipside of the unpleasantness of tension, and the anticipation is the flipside of aversion. I wondered whether I was actually clinging to knots because of the sweet ache and the pleasant anticipation of release. Memories of childhood arose - places from my early adolescence. Noted imaging thoughts.
Some planning and restlessness towards the end, particularly after I allowed myself to adjust my leg position (I'd been sitting still for at least 80 minutes by this point). Noted: story-telling thought, restlessness, planning, anticipation, and they soon quietened down.
Spaceousness, clarity, calm and gentleness throughout.
- AndyW45
- Topic Author
13 years 7 months ago #74126
by AndyW45
Replied by AndyW45 on topic RE: Andy's practice thread
Sat for two hours just now, with little inclination to do so, but somehow the idea of not breaking my chain is enough to keep me on the cushion. I'm at 161 days as of today.
Exactly where I am on the Progress of Insight is very unclear to me right now. Today it felt like early dukkha nyanas, on account of the fact that I've had some very pleasant sits recently, which could be A&P/Dissolution, heightened sexual cravings (another A&P sign) and now a rather unpleasant sit, in which I did nothing except breathe into tension for two hours. Lots of sadness and fear came up when I did that, and although both these emotions can be accompanied by a sweet kind of energy and tenderness, there is still a lot of aversion and anxiety about really penetrating the physical sensation.
Exactly where I am on the Progress of Insight is very unclear to me right now. Today it felt like early dukkha nyanas, on account of the fact that I've had some very pleasant sits recently, which could be A&P/Dissolution, heightened sexual cravings (another A&P sign) and now a rather unpleasant sit, in which I did nothing except breathe into tension for two hours. Lots of sadness and fear came up when I did that, and although both these emotions can be accompanied by a sweet kind of energy and tenderness, there is still a lot of aversion and anxiety about really penetrating the physical sensation.