Stream Entry or Bust

"What is the self diagnosis of equanimity based on (forgive me if your journal answers the question)? "

No, it's a good question. My reports haven't been all that descriptive, because my experiences have seemed so consistent to me. Initially, the self-diagnosis came from a process of elimination. I clearly had several experiences years ago that would qualify as A+P. Most of my dark night stages I think were just my daily life in the 15 years since. When I started noting last summer, I went pretty quickly into long, peaceful sits featuring lots of energetic activity (forehead and crown), but very little unpleasantness. My mind tends to wander at times, but the sense of being in a rapture-like state is very consistent. But it's a lot mellower than the full on body raptures of A+P. It's definitely not a jhana state - concentration comes and goes. I don't have body pains, which I remember so vividly from retreats 10 years ago. So, I looked at the idiot's guide to dharma diagnosis... . Also, the word "equanimity" just seems like the most literally descriptive.

I began differentiating between high and low EQ after following your link to Kenneth's discussion about the importance of concentration practice post A+P. Just reading that seemed to give me access to a much deeper state with the same qualities I described above. What I call low eq is basically comfortable, I can stay there for long periods, not much happens; but high EQ is more all-encompassing. Almost like being high. I tend to fall from high to low if my mind wanders for more than a minute or so.

Also, I can really identify with other meditators' journals when they enter EQ. Aquinin's experiences lately seem a lot like mine.

Does that help?

I'm very open to the possibility that I am completely off-base. It's not my intention to make false claims here. All input is very much appreciated.

Quite helpful.

It works best if your journals are phenomenal rather than conceptual. It's best to describe what happens throughout the course of the sit in as detailed a fashion as possible in order to get a clearer picture of what's going on.

Have a look at Nadav's Journal for a good example
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/40...v%27s+practice+notes

Even if you are in High Equanimity as a baseline, you should be seeing some progression in your sits which would be helpful to see described.

What techniques are you working with right now?

I'm a fan of Nadav's journal.

I use noting until everything becomes still, then switch to panoramic awareness. I may focus on the sense of space, or a sense of self that arises, or desire for SE if it arises, but generally following the instruction to let go and let it happen. Sometimes I'll run through the 3 characeristics - like a quick checklist. For awhile I was trying to be aware of any subtle intention to control the meditation. There's less of that now. The latest significant development has been giving up the desire for path.

I'll try to return to more detailed entries. It had just seemed to lose importance. Thanks for reading!

No problem. And in the end it's all about you anyway. This is your journal and it's your own assessment of where you are at that matters.

I really don't mean to impose or anything.

Please, impose away. I'm here to learn. Or,,, unlearn?

I am cruising around in EQ at the moment as well and my practice looks like this. So maybe this can help.

Shamatha for a few rounds of 10 breaths to get concentrated. At this point I start noting, I will get a few itches, thoughts etc but when my hands start to get tingly and i start to get vibrations in the crown area or 3rd eye area my noting tends to start slowing down on its own, or at least it becomes less at the forefront. Space widens and my mind goes to what is most interesting on its own, usually the 3rd eye area. So I concentrate on that area. I start to see how the sensations don't seem to be happening to me and I am watching them from a distance. I also notice many other sensations but I stay focused on the 3rd eye area. In other words, I have a panoramic view of sensations but my mind wants to stay concentrated on one area. All this while trying to let go and still see mind states and thoughts arise and pass. Letting go and not straining is the hardest part for me. It seems like if I try to concentrate too hard on one area it dissolves and I am back in lower EQ.

I hope that helps. Have you talked to a teacher?

This journal was moved here dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussio...ards/message/3137006 ... pretty much where it left off.

Many heartfelt thanks to everyone for your input along the way.

Jason

Sounds promising Jason. Good work. Keep us updated.