Antero´s practise journal

Recent sittings have been mostly neutral or pleasant. I have noted the usual stuff including feelings of joy, acceptance, letting go, triumph, irritation, dullness, fatigue, drowsiness, determination, happiness and embarrassment. I have also noted different classes of thoughts: imaging, planning, anticipating, analyzing and remembering. There are no more thoughts and feelings of ambition, doubt or frustration during the practise, which makes me think that I have passed some stage now.

The meditation does not happen so fast and efficient than a week before. The mind wanders more and especially in the afternoons I quickly feel pleasant release of tension which is followed by drowsiness and I can even fall asleep. This has happened for some days now, so it must be some kind of phase I am going through. The nice thing is that I feel very relaxed and there is very little tension in the body and sometimes I get pleasant vibrations running upwards from the base of the spine or around the left shoulder blade. The feeling is quite subtle and I note is as 'pleasure' or 'vibrations'. When I investigte the vibration, it usually moves a bit and then vanishes. The vibrations at the base of the spine can also get stronger. There are sometimes tingling on top of the head.

At home I can just lie down on a sofa, relax and feel the nice subtle vibrations or currents finding their way along the centre line of the body. There is no need to do anything, just being is sufficient. Actually I don't want do anything since I feel lazy and tired.

Have you tried a pure concentration practice? I found it made the mindfulness practice really open up once I focused a bit more on my concentration.

I found that once the first Jhana was reached by me, things started progressing again.

I find it easy to pay attention to the sensations around the nosetip (keep it steady just where the air leaves the nose) and then to say bodhi in sync with breathing (booooooooo-dhhhhhhhhhi). Keep wrangling the attention with that until the sensation becomes very pronounced and you get into access concentration (I guess it's different for everyone). From there I switch to the pleasant sensations in the body until the Jhana manifests.

Once I got that, I saw for certain how this works by progressing through the levels of the mind via concentration and then breaking them up with vipassana.

"Have you tried a pure concentration practice? I found it made the mindfulness practice really open up once I focused a bit more on my concentration.

I found that once the first Jhana was reached by me, things started progressing again."

Hi Mumuwy,

Thanks for the tip! I have concidered pure concentration practise, but so far I feel that I learn so much from Vipassana that I want to dedicate all the time I have to it. But I have to admit that I am tempted

In the evening I sat for 30 minutes
Concentration developed nicely during the sitting. After some time I was in the middle of meaningless stream of thoughts. This time I didn't feel drowsy or sleepy and could at times clearly see dream like images be born and change into different forms.

This is from The basic meditation instructions on the site:
"Progress is made by keeping these two aspects in balance. If your concentration outstrips your investigation, you will get dull. If your investigation overwhelms your concentration, you will become agitated"

I strongly suggest you try it out at least. I think if you could use your well developed vipassana in a Jhana you would be able to really get things cooking.

The Kasina Meditation may be helpful as it is fairly easy to do (if your eyes are moving around a lot you aren't concentrated and you won't get it to work, but if you can keep a detached gaze on the thing it should be fairly easy to master).

I think the concentration practice would help you to keep the meaningless stream of thoughts to a minimum. Have you tried any third gear type practices to get the thinker to settle down? "To whom does this thought arise?" seems to be a good way for me to move a step out from that level.

All the same, I'm thinking that if you keep the noting practice up, something will eventually give and you'll be right back to progressing along.

"I think the concentration practice would help you to keep the meaningless stream of thoughts to a minimum. Have you tried any third gear type practices to get the thinker to settle down? "To whom does this thought arise?" seems to be a good way for me to move a step out from that level."

This is an interesting subject and I thank you for bringing this up. What I have (thought to have learned from Kenneth is that the experience during the meditation does not matter. Sometimes the mind wanders and sometimes the concentration is strong. Sometimes it is easy to fall deep into absorption and sometimes the meditation happens close to the surface. The only thing that matters is to keep on investigating and staying aware. This is just my interpretation and I am glad if I am corrected. The important question is: Is it necessary to reduce the meaningless thoughts or otherwise increase the quality of meditation in order to progress? I would very much like to have expert comments on this, since I have been thinking about it a lot.

I have not yet tried 3rd gear practise. I feel like a complete beginner and I first try to get my 1st gear practise going smoothly before adding anything extra.

"With that in mind, from an experiential point of view, let's just acknowledge that there is a clear difference between the vipassana technique and the samatha technique. They lead to different experiences and so can be distinguished in actual practice. These two basic factors of concentration and investigation have to be in balance in order for yogis to make progress. It's my observation that thousands of post A&P "chronic achiever" yogis are stuck precisely because they have poorly developed concentration skills. They have been told to "investigate," but do not have sufficient concentration to access deeper strata of mind. This bobbing around in the shallows can go on forever. You can investigate the froth on the surface of the sea for eons without finding the treasures that lie in the depths. Go deep, my fellow dharma divers, go deep! Every highly attained yogi I know (using the developmental model) is a jhana master in his or her own right. This holds true even for Zen practitioners who were never explicitly taught jhana. They are accessing the deepest layers of mind whether they have the terminology for it or not."

that's another useful bit of info from Kenneth on another part of the site.

This evening I sat for 40 minutes
I felt the concentration deepen immeadiately. I felt and saw with my minds eye my whole body as a big dark pile of sensations. There were so many of those that I only took some cursory glances at them like from the corners of my eyes. I just scanned the around the body not stopping at any particular sensation for long. I did not note the body sensations, since I felt aware and present as I was. As the meditation developed, I noted emotions and thoughts. After some time there were mostly thoughts around and I noted them effortlessly. It felt very much like watching TV. I saw the thought form out of nowhere, for example a design related to my work, I noted it and it morphed into another somewhat similar design. As I continued to note it, it took another form again or disappeared and some remembering thought appeared in its place. It was kind of fascinating to watch them evolve.

Drowsiness seems to be decreasing and concentration and clarity increasing. The focus of the body awareness during asana practise, meditation and everyday mindfulness is widening. The body sensations are felt more and more like a simultaneous swarm of sensations instead of consecutive things in tight focus. During meditation the attention moves gradually from the body sensations to emotions and thoughts, as the concentration deepen. At times I can see the relationship between emotions and thoughts; for example a certain desire giving rise to a thought.

40 minutes of sitting after asana practise
Things noted: worrying thought, excitement, planning thought, letting go, pleasure, enjoyment, feeling of being safe, light, exhilaration, remembering thought, analyzing thought, surrendering.
After the meditation deepened, I watched the usual range of thoughts come and go. Then something happened as I let go. There was a lot less thoughts and I noted 'emptiness' Well it was not actually emptiness, but at first it felt like it. There were more light and an increased feeling of tranquillity. I noted myself analyzing the practise and some other thoughts also, but the general feeling was quite peaceful and nice. After some time I seemed to slide back to the surface. My sitting time was almost up, but before finishing I tried if I could descend again to that same state and to my delight I found it quite easy.

"40 minutes of sitting after asana practise
Things noted: worrying thought, excitement, planning thought, letting go, pleasure, enjoyment, feeling of being safe, light, exhilaration, remembering thought, analyzing thought, surrendering.
After the meditation deepened, I watched the usual range of thoughts come and go. Then something happened as I let go. There was a lot less thoughts and I noted 'emptiness' Well it was not actually emptiness, but at first it felt like it. There were more light and an increased feeling of tranquillity. I noted myself analyzing the practise and some other thoughts also, but the general feeling was quite peaceful and nice. After some time I seemed to slide back to the surface. My sitting time was almost up, but before finishing I tried if I could descend again to that same state and to my delight I found it quite easy.
"

Sounds like you are getting right up next to the first Jhana. With the feeling of increased tranquility do you notice any pleasurable tingling sensations in your hands, face or other parts of the body?

"Sounds like you are getting right up next to the first Jhana. With the feeling of increased tranquility do you notice any pleasurable tingling sensations in your hands, face or other parts of the body?"

Actually I don't that many tingling and vibration doing Vipassana. I did earlier kundalini type meditation and I had more vibrations, feelings of bliss and some fits of laughter as well. I do get some pleasurable vibrations at the base of the spine and some tingling on the top of my head, but so far very moderately.

Just as I told to Mumuwu that I usually don't have much energy experiences, yesterday I was having those pleasant vibrations and tingling sensations throughout the day. I talked to Kenneth in the evening and he advised me to pay attention to the qualities of the Strata of Mind during meditation. I made a resolution to do just that as I sat for 40 minutes in the evening.

a. After some minutes I felt joy, exhilaration and I think I was chuckling aloud.
b. I noted that the mind was wandering for a little while
c. Waves of tingling, deep joy, tranquillity and light increases
After some minutes I feel falling back to state a. Then I rise back to state c. and then back and forth between a. and c. a couple of times. Each cycle lasted only a couple of minutes. The vibrations and feelings of joy increased every cycle.
d. Suddenly I was hit by a shower of cool tingles from all sides. This state felt deeper and more tranquil than c. It did not last long though as I moved on.
e. I felt a cool wave of energy coming from top and going through the body
f. Then I felt a nasty feeling rising from the root and going upward. I felt premonition of some approaching unknown danger. This feeling lasted less than a minute.
g. I gradually lost the sense of the body. I felt like weightlessly floating in space. Everything around me was black. This state felt more stable and I stayed in this feeling for perhaps five minutes.

Afterwards I felt so full of energy (and probably also full of myself that I couldn't sleep for some hours.

That is so awesome Antero! A lot of what you wrote resonates with my own experience. If only I was as adept in describing it!

I have been trying to find patterns in my meditation to learn more about the strata of mind I am going through. This is what I have found out:

Normally I enter the first jhana in less than 5 minutes. Sometimes the transition is almost instantaneous. After about five minutes I feel the change as the mind starts wandering. It is hard to stay focused during this phase. Presumably this is a sign of the Three Characteristics. Then I find myself exhaling involuntarily and I am in a more concentrated state. I feel more light, peace and more insulated from surrounding disturbances. This must be the Second Jhana or the 4th nana. After some minutes I feel falling back through the 3th nana to the first jhana. I have never noticed the 2nd nana. During 30 minute sitting the cycle repeats 3-4 times. Sometimes I feel the concentration deepening after the 2nd Jhana, but I am yet still cautious to call it the 3rd Jana.

The sitting I described in my last post was exceptional in clarity, detail and energy sensations. I must have outdone myself, since normally the boundaries between the nanas are softer and the differences between the jhanas are harder to notice.

Next weekend I will arrange myself a solo retreat. I will pitch a tent in forest and do as much sitting time as I can. This is my first meditation retreat ever, I am so excited!

"I have been trying to find patterns in my meditation to learn more about the strata of mind I am going through. This is what I have found out:

Normally I enter the first jhana in less than 5 minutes. Sometimes the transition is almost instantaneous. After about five minutes I feel the change as the mind starts wandering. It is hard to stay focused during this phase. Presumably this is a sign of the Three Characteristics. Then I find myself exhaling involuntarily and I am in a more concentrated state. I feel more light, peace and more insulated from surrounding disturbances. This must be the Second Jhana or the 4th nana. After some minutes I feel falling back through the 3th nana to the first jhana. I have never noticed the 2nd nana. During 30 minute sitting the cycle repeats 3-4 times. Sometimes I feel the concentration deepening after the 2nd Jhana, but I am yet still cautious to call it the 3rd Jana.

The sitting I described in my last post was exceptional in clarity, detail and energy sensations. I must have outdone myself, since normally the boundaries between the nanas are softer and the differences between the jhanas are harder to notice.
"

Antero,

I think I'm getting at the 1st Jhana via vipassana now because it has a similar feel to it as when I was doing samatha, but I don't get absorbed into it as hard or as rapturously. I can easily get to and hang out near the Jhana, but entering it is a bit tricky now.

Are you getting a solid, altered state of consciousness type experience or just an overall very pleasant energetic sensation accompanied by Joy?

"Are you getting a solid, altered state of consciousness type experience or just an overall very pleasant energetic sensation accompanied by Joy?"

Hi Mumuwu,

Normally I get this nice joyful feeling as you aply described, although the intensity varies from time to time. The session I wrote about in the post number 38 was definitely an altered state of conciousness type of experience. I have no idea how I did it, since it kind of just happened on its own.

"Hi Mumuwu,

Normally I get this nice joyful feeling as you aply described, although the intensity varies from time to time. The session I wrote about in the post number 38 was definitely an altered state of conciousness type of experience. I have no idea how I did it, since it kind of just happened on its own."

Yes that's what I'm finding now as well. Occasionally in the past the feelings have lead to absorption, but normally I am looking at them and they are nice.

I figure I am occasionally entering the 1st Jhana but mainly I am averting the first Jhana as per this:

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Deeper+Into+Jhana

I think it's still possible to move up the outside of the cone without being in the middle of it and as such I suspect that some of the distracting thoughts which come up after this feeling are Knowledge of cause and effect type stuff and that the uncomfortable / itchy sensations that come after that are the beginnings of Knowledge of the Three Characteristics. That's the theory I'm going on now and seeing how that works.

Also it sounds like you got access concentration on post 35 and Jhana on post 38.

Actually, maybe post 38 starts on 1st Jhana and progresses up to second (because you hit a nasty bit which is expected going from first to second).

19.6.
Solo retreat in the forest Part I
10 hours of practise time
30-60 min sittings, mindfulness practise in between

I did Vipassana noting meditation as usual throughout the day. The level of concentration worsened all the time. To my satisfaction I noted that this did not frustrate me and I took each sitting as it was without expectations. In the evening I was having back pain during the sitting. I noted the pain and slowly began to feel that it consisted of some more subtle sensations like throbbing, stinging and vibration. Mysteriously these feelings vanished as I observed them.

One new development was feelings of paranoia and fear during two sittings. I had to open my eyes couple of times just make sure no one was trying to ambush me .

20.6.
Solo retreat in the forest Part II
10 hours of practise time
25-55 min sittings, mindfulness practise in between

The level of concentration declined even further today. Jhanas did not seem possible at all. At times I realized I was getting bored and the pain in the back was making sitting uncomfortable. During the last sitting I was getting frustrated and almost quit. Then I started noting the frustration and the pain and felt triumphant for a moment.

Hi Antero,
Just hazarding a guess here but it seems you were experiencing some classic dark night symptoms there. When I experience similar things, I usually revert back to noting as practicing the Witness and jhana arc riding seem to fit the equanimity of formations stage better. I love the fact you are doing a forest sit. Nice! Keep the momentum going!!!!