Antero´s practise journal

This is interesting. My experience in practicing the Witness/second gear is somewhat different. The Witness never seems to have preferences at all. The preferences observed in that practice all seem to come form the selfing processes being observed. The Witness seems purely observational, which is why I think Kenneth calls it the "No Dog" as in "There is no dog in this hunt."

Cris, I was perhaps being a bit too methaphorical this time

You are absolutely right, I was just trying to communicate that feeling of being totally absorbed in it self. That state being so nice and perfect from the observers point of view that there is no need/want to end it. English not being my first language, it is often hard for me to tell about abstract phenomena the way I would prefer.

Except of course the Google traslator helps a lot

Ah, okay. Just making sure we were practicing same thing.

30 min sitting in the morning
For some reason it was difficult to get deep in the Witness state. The session left me feeling frustrated and doubtful

50 min sitting
I shifted to the 1st gear and started noting. The concentration deepened and when I was quite deep in the 4th jhana I shifted to the Witness state. After dwelling for some time in the Witness to stabilize the state, I did the flickering and observed its rhythm and discontinuities. There were some pulsing in the perineum, some twitching of the arm muscles and at some point I began to sway slightly with the strobes.

30 min sitting
I noted for some time before going to the Witness state. After getting to the 4th jhana I rested for some time in the Pure Witness and started the flickering. This time I could remain in a very relaxed state and very soon slight twitching started in my arms, legs and shoulders. I was gently vibrating back and forth as the strobing continued. It was so relaxing that I didn't want to break the flickering to become more stable in the Witness, as I noticed that I was slowly becoming out of it. I brought the attention lower from the third eye somewhat and the strobing became more subtle. This shift in the position of the eyes helped to strengthen the Witness state.

When I stopped the flickering, the Witness state become deep and full of light. In the end I just sat doing nothing and the observer disappeared leaving behind only silence and bright relaxing light.

I wonder if the abiding in the Witness or doing the flickering exercise or both are causing this increase in Kundalini activity. It normally becomes apparent in the evening when I am laying on the bed. One evening I was watching a movie and at the same time feeling the energy circulate around my body. I have never felt it so clearly. It felt pleasant as it cruised around in my arms, back, chest and then legs. Sometimes it is uncomfortable if it starts to accumulate in the legs in the evening as it makes the legs vibrate and I find it hard to get asleep. I crossed my legs in siddhasana and grabbed my big toes. This made the energy to move from the legs through my arms to the chest area. There was very noticeable pulsing and throbbing in my hands as I held my toes.

Last evening I did the Bystander when brushing my teeth and pleasant waves of energy came pulsing up my spine. At bed I felt the energy very clearly in my spine. I realized that it was humming between muladhara and manipura chakras. That section of the spine was vibrating enjoyable and I could easily feel the exact locations of the three lower chakras. Could there be some energetic equivalence to the Progress of Insight? Are there any studies written about it?

Hi Antero,

In my experience when I noted continuously for some time, an 'energy' would start to rise up in the body towards the crown. When I dwelled in the Witness, there was an immediate strong surge of the same energy but much more obvious. There is something going on there, isn't there?

I have a feeling that the physio-energetic development that simultaneously occurs at the same time as practicing insight, is very related and I think this is what causes the perception change, or rather for the "stickiness" to dissipate and for the illusion of self to slowly be seen ever more clearly, specifically after stream entry up to arhat.


Keep doing what you are doing because it is obviously taking you quickly in the right direction!!!

Sat for 45 min and then 60 minutes after asana practise
Things are happening. I am spending as much time on the cushion as possible observing the strobing. Kundalini symptoms have gotten stronger and stronger. The waves of pleasure rose all over my back engulfing me as I sat, vibrations, cool tingles, laughing, involuntary exhales and bliss. My body is buzzing with energy. As I laid on my back in savasana after the practise, the energy first surrounded me completely and then settled in my chest. The whole of my chest area vibrated violently. I have never experienced anything like this. It is nice though.

This is music to my ears. Thanks for your dedication and perseverance, Antero. Your hard work is paying off and will continue to do so. Keep us posted.

Thank YOU Kenneth,

You are to us little-wanna-be-buddhas like Professor Charles Francis Xavier is to X-Men: Indispensable. Actually the resemblance is uncanny, hmmm... ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professor_X ).

I have been suspecting that you are giving energy transmissions to your students, but yesterday it seemed evident. As soon we started talking via Skype I felt the energy start to build up. Then came the waves, surges, vibrations, tremors followed by strobing, trembling, twitching and pulsing. Amazing!

Sat first for 30 min and then for 75 min after asana practise
I did first some noting to get to the 4th Jhana and then started exploring the 'sweet spot' near the third eye where the flickering is subtle but noticeable. It is easy to observe the physical sensations involved in the strobing: movement of the eyes; twitching and micro movements of the muscles around the body. The visual strobing is more subtle to follow and the mental strobing more subtle still. When the attention is brought just above the horizon towards the third eye it is possible to get strobing with little physical movement. This way the subtle flickering of the mind is more easily seen and the absorption becomes deeper.

From time to time the energy builds up during sitting and the cool tingling waves of bliss start to rise. The energy is accumulated at the base of the skull. I get the feeling that something is about to happen. Some block will be removed or I have finally found the missing ingredient. But no, I am still not yet done with the chewing, so the swallowing will not happen.

'Just do your practise and all is coming'. Thank you for reminding me Sri Pattabhi Jois.

After the practise I rest on my back and do my relaxation routine. When the body relaxes more and more, I am suddenly showered all over by waves of cool tingling sensations. After some time, the vibration at the chest starts. I let myself relax more and just observe what is happening to me. The vibrations become stronger and stronger and soon my entire upper body is shaking. I feel fluttering and strobing near the eyes. Soon the arms and legs start to twitch and vibrate. Sometimes the waves make parts of my body tense and then relax. The shaking becomes so strong I wonder what it would look like if someone was watching me. As I am not in any hurry, I just wait what will happen. The vibration subsides after 10 minutes. I am left feeling like a power plant.

Sat for 45 minutes
Flickering starts as soon as I close my eyes. I feel relaxed and no effort is needed to maintain the strobing. The speed is very fast and it is very subtle, strobing of the mind. I follow the jhanic arc to the 4th jhana and let the mind expand. I do not pay very close attention to the patterns of the flickers, but try to be relaxed and get deeper. I get some mild tingling and vibrations in my arms and on the top of the head. After some 35 minutes I switch to noting.

As I watch the arising and passing of sensations and phenomena I start to see how the sense of I is constructed. Or more precisely the sense of I is deconstructed before me. I note myself analyzing these findings. I decide to let go of everything. Energy starts to accumulate and rise along my back. Waves of pleasure rise and tingle all around my body. I decide to let go of everything, come whatever may. I have the feeling that everything is clear, this is it. The solution is at hand. The currents have reached my head and I am filled with vibration and joy. And then the energy passes away and lights are dimmed. I am left sitting with great calm and peace. Another false alarm I guess, but pleasant anyway.

I sat first for 35 min and then for 55 min after asana practise
During the last session I went deep. All the body sensations were far away. As I noted, the sense of 'I' began to feel very scattered. I had a mental image of a machine that has been taken apart with peaces all over. The phenomena that I noted were very loosely connected to me. They were kind of floating in space with little or no connection to each other. The energy started to build up with vibrations and bliss. I remember thinking 'This is so easy, so self evident. This is it.' But was it? I don't think so. The rapture ended and I was feeling very good, but that is all.

I am laying awake at night thinking and analyzing. I have no need to sleep. After the rapture this morning I have spent my whole day in the 4th nana with the energy moving all over the body. If I close my eyes I find myself immediately in the 2nd jhana. This could of course be just a coincidence. The reason I have so much doubts about my experience is that I do not remember any gaps in consciousness or blackening out or anything like that. The lights just dimmed when the rapture ended. Anyway something definitely feels different in my being. The striving and the underlying frustration seem to be gone. I feel at ease.

As I have had an easy access to jhanas 1-8 for a month now, I cannot do any testing with jhana jumping. Since I couldn't sleep, I thought that I could as well try the cushion. As I sat down, I made a resolution to go through the jhanic arc and experience fruition. As I closed my eyes, I noticed that I was in the 2nd jhana. The jhanas came and went very fast, much faster than usual. I stayed only few breaths in each one. In the 8th jhana the flickering of the eyes/mind started on its own, but nothing happened. When I came up the arc the third time, the flickering became stronger and stronger. Then I felt the rapture rise and the flickering increased still. After that came the blackout and the feeling of bliss. Everything just went dark and I found myself spaced out in the 2nd jhana. Could this have been fruition?

Hi Antero,

See if the "blackout" happens again. And try and explain what happens before and after it occurs (if it does) in as much detail as possible. How does your mind feel pre and post? How does the body feel? What are the sensations like pre and post "blackout"? DETAILS!!! No need to speculate! Just keep doing what you are doing and writing up detailed non-speculative updates for us to ponder.

Awesome!

Eyes glued to this thread.

P.S. Do Kenneth's eye flicking method and watch the flickering of the eyelids. Focus on the very last sensation as it ends, as it stops dead. What happens?

Everything Nick just said... Please give us the juicy details we crave....

"
I have been suspecting that you are giving energy transmissions to your students, but yesterday it seemed evident. As soon we started talking via Skype I felt the energy start to build up. Then came the waves, surges, vibrations, tremors followed by strobing, trembling, twitching and pulsing. Amazing!
"

I suspect this as well from my own experience, though my instinct is that he isn't consciously trying to do it, it's just what happens sometimes based on the people involved and the subject manner.

Thanks Nikolai,
I just finished talking to Kenneth and he encouraged me to explore these new features and see how they develop. I will definitely try to see if I can repeat these blackouts. The first rapture (post 87) was not really a blackout at all. There was only building up of energy, vibrations, intense flickering, the feeling of 'this is it' and 'is it really happening?', the rapture and falling to the start of the jhanic arc. At least I couldn't notice any discontinuities in the mind.

The second one (post 88) had the same building up phase and the bliss but then the lights went out completely. The consciousness was out probably only for a moment, since I remember thinking 'does it take this long to get the lights back on?' I think it took me couple of seconds to really come back. I was feeling a bit dazed and didn't really know where I was, until I realized that I had been magically teleported to the 2nd jhana. I felt blissful and spaced out. I can imagine that computer could feel like that after booting the CPU. I will do some more testing if I could make it happen again to give some more details. The flickering method gave me the last rapture (the first one came doing noting), so I am going to see if it repeats.

Antero,

How much time during the sitting are you doing the eye flickering?

(continued)

When moving from the 3rd jhana to the 4th, I did some experiments with the dukkha nanas. I froze each nana separately, one after another. There was no suffering; I could not even feel the slightest discomfort or itching. I clearly felt the vibrational quality of each stratum in different parts of my body though. Somehow I got the overall impression that the mind seems to be more detached, which make it easier to let the experiences unfold on their own without manipulation.

50 min sitting after asana practise

I could not repeat the fruition this morning, but made some observations on the jhanic arc. Now when I am making comparisons to earlier practise, I am talking about the time before the still unconfirmed Stream Entry on 25th of July, which I will still call rapture for want of a better word.

I have found that I am spending most of my time in the 4th nana during the day and I am wondering if this is usual. I thought that one would become more aware of the cycling of the nanas during the day. Will the cycling start later after some time period?

When I sit down, I start from the 2nd jhana. I found that the jhanas feel exactly the same as before, but there are still some noticeable differences. It is almost like someone had changed the normal family car into a porche. There is a clear change in fluidity and control. Earlier my jhanic arc went from the 1st jhana to the 4th on its own and from then on I had to will my mind to move to the jhanas 5-8. When in Arupa Jhanas I had to lean toward the next jhana to get the arc moving. In other words, I was manipulating the experience more. Now the jhanic arc is rolling very fast to the 8th jhana and then back the same way. All I have to do is enjoy the ride.

Today I completed three cycles in 50 minutes. The first one was very fast, maybe 1-3 breaths in each jhana. Then the pace changed for some reason and I found myself abiding in each jhana longer and going deeper. I did not do any noting, I was just observing the sensations with curiosity and ease. Every time I came to the 8th jhana, I watched the flickering of the eyes to see if I could make the fruition happen, but it didn't.

"Antero,

How much time during the sitting are you doing the eye flickering?"

Mu,

Prior to the Event (whatever it was) on the 25th of July I did only the flickering during all the sittings from Kenneth's suggestion. So practically I was observing the strobes for 2 weeks in a row. Now I am just letting my eyes flutter in the 8th jhana hoping to catch a fruition.

This is what I like to see... Real progress--humble attitude... Keep up the good work

Yesterday evening I just sat at the terrace and watching the life go by. Little by little I have began to learn more about the deeper changes that have occurred in the mind. I am impressed by the minds ability to watch events go by with a sense of ease and equanimity. No clinging, no need to change anything, just watching, content. At the same time I feel it is time to move on. As nice at it is, I feel underlying dissatisfaction and eagerness to get on with the practise and I wish that the next insight cycle would start.

40 min sit after asana practise
When I wake up, I immediately note that something has changed. I am no longer at the A/P. The mind feels heavier and more inert and some clearness seems to be missing. The quality of the awareness is less panoramic than before, which became very obvious as I observed the body sensations while doing asana practise.

As I sat down, the change was even more obvious. I was feeling gross vibrations all over the surface of the body. I also noted pulsing, fluttering, analyzing thoughts, release of tension and sense of effort. My mind must have been wandering for I suddenly became aware of moving into another state. I find myself more concentrated and the sense of effort is gone. There are some deeper subtle vibrations here and there and the light increases. I feel lightness and release of tension.

After some time I feel tension at my left shoulder and discomfort at my lower back. The gross vibrations are back again and the tension is released. Before the sit ends, I go through one more cycle like this. I feel like an explorer in a territory that is strangely familiar but still different, how exciting!