A&P or Bust

"Have you ever read about the studies on office cubicles when they were first introduced?

www.visionandpsychosis.net/ "

Wow, this is timely. 2 of my team and I are being relocated from private offices to a shared space and we've been considering whether to include partitions. I'll check this further. Thanks!

Listened to 1/2 of the inspiring Daniel Brown video, then a few minutes of sleeping through pulses. Try again in the morning.

AM 10 mins more of D.Brown video. 40 min sit, 5 mins eye movements, 35 following pulses. Body is holding a lot of stress, especially in the chest, from working long hours yesterday and some more this morning on a deadline. A blessing to be able to find some quiet, relaxed space and purify some of that stress. Likely would take at least another hour of sitting to turn the corner on this much stress and replace it with more healthy energies. Looking forward to more time to sit over the weekend.

"AM 10 mins more of D.Brown video. 40 min sit, 5 mins eye movements, 35 following pulses. Body is holding a lot of stress, especially in the chest, from working long hours yesterday and some more this morning on a deadline. A blessing to be able to find some quiet, relaxed space and purify some of that stress. Likely would take at least another hour of sitting to turn the corner on this much stress and replace it with more healthy energies. Looking forward to more time to sit over the weekend."

Been watching for pulses after reading your journal.

I've come across a couple, some are localized as a point some are more spread out (the entire head, a leg, etc.). I guess they are more subtle meditation objects.

Notice anything occurring through observing them? Do they change at all or become more detailed?

"Been watching for pulses after reading your journal.

I've come across a couple, some are localized as a point some are more spread out (the entire head, a leg, etc.). I guess they are more subtle meditation objects.

Notice anything occurring through observing them? Do they change at all or become more detailed?"

Not sure if I'm on the most optimal track to follow Kenneth's instructions:

"MP, are you able to feel pulsing anywhere in the body? If so, see if you can feel it in various places, e.g., your hands, your feet, your chest. Let me know.

If not, put your fingers on your neck and find your pulse. Take a few minutes to sink into the rhythm and sensation. Then, take your hand away and see if you can still feel your pulse somewhere in the body, without putting your hand on your body to find the pulse. Let me know.

Kenneth"

I got the idea, from finding neck pulse with a finger, that Kenneth is talking about blood throbbing in a vein. The pulsing I'm used to seems more diffuse, maybe more like what you describe, feeling a pulsing in a general area. So been trying to find precise arterial pulses and try to discern the difference between those and generalized pulsing. What is pulsing if it's not blood in veins? That's been interesting to look into, but not sure if it's a side track.

In a way, I don't care what a pulse is, but being present and curious with an unfamiliar and relatively subtle object feels meditative and seems to have some interesting differences from other practices I've done.

I don't want to interfere with your work with Kenneth, so please be aware of that. But... I think the idea he's trying to convey isn't just about your pulse and finding it in places all over your body. It's about developing a certain sensory sensitivity over time so that you will be able to detect finer and finer sensory phenomena. I can feel my pulse (the blood pumped by your heart) in various places when I sit. That leads to deeper investigations. I can put two fingers in light contact with each other and feel that blood pulsing and.... wait, there are some other sensations occurring there. I can feel a light, fine set of fast vibrations. What's that? WHAT IS THAT?

"
I don't want to interfere with your work with Kenneth, so please be aware of that. But... I think the idea he's trying to convey isn't just about your pulse and finding it in places all over your body. It's about developing a certain sensory sensitivity over time so that you will be able to detect finer and finer sensory phenomena. I can feel my pulse (the blood pumped by your heart) in various places when I sit. That leads to deeper investigations. I can put two fingers in light contact with each other and feel that blood pulsing and.... wait, there are some other sensations occurring there. I can feel a light, fine set of fast vibrations. What's that? WHAT IS THAT?



"

Thanks both. This is excellent. Thank you very much.

"I think the idea he's trying to convey isn't just about your pulse and finding it in places all over your body. It's about developing a certain sensory sensitivity over time so that you will be able to detect finer and finer sensory phenomena. I can feel my pulse (the blood pumped by your heart) in various places when I sit. That leads to deeper investigations. I can put two fingers in light contact with each other and feel that blood pulsing and.... wait, there are some other sensations occurring there. I can feel a light, fine set of fast vibrations. What's that? WHAT IS THAT?



"

Ah,,,, and that would be penetrating the object. Doh! Thanks, found this right before starting to sit. Man, an hour went by in what I thought was 15 min.s. (Traced the chronology of the morning to make sure that was possible.) I'm sure you're right cmarti. The 1st hour seemed all about vibrations. Didn't want to stop so did another 45 mins. Pulsing is striking me like vibrations spreading out in a medium, kind of like a pebble in water. But trying to see the difference between an image like that for communication and how it might color what's actually happening. One of those sits with momentum, so I got ambitious and wondered if mental images and thoughts have any vibratory quality, but didn't penetrate that. Seemed like a fruitful orientation though. Kept them in the game. Pulses have that spreading quality, but noticed also the more in-place vibratory quality of pains and tensions. At one point the pulsing, which often seems very fast, started to seem in slow motion and it felt like it took several seconds instead of 1/2 a second for a pulse to puuusshhh with the build up of blood pressure until the pulse throb when it maxed and released. Toward the end a loud sound started and felt like it was building up in waves sort of like the start of Beethoven movement where you're not sure where it's leading.

Turned out to be a lawn mower. Sat and enjoyed the variety of parts that go into making up traffic and neighborhood sounds in slow motion for a couple of minutes. The wish that this kind of sensitivity could be maintained.

Yes, thank you mumuwu and cmarti and kenneth! (And all those working in the amazing other threads.)

This is the point - the one you just found - when my practice took off.

Best of luck!

Gracias!

"Turned out to be a lawn mower. Sat and enjoyed the variety of parts that go into making up traffic and neighborhood sounds in slow motion for a couple of minutes. The wish that this kind of sensitivity could be maintained. "

Insight disease!

Uh-Oh... another one on the ride... enjoy man... Don't fight it--just surrender...

Thanks Mike and Clayton! Very interested to hear your tips and comments. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have realized that this was an especially noteworthy sitting, other than that it was very nice while it lasted. No idea what to expect. Met with a friend for lunch and noticed that I could stay present about 1/2 the time. Usually it's hard to avoid losing myself in conversation. The rest of the day though felt a kind of quiet tenderness but hard to stay concentrated. PM sitting 1hour and 1/2. Have just wanted to be quiet without effort or words today, and the sitting was like that, felt kind of subtle but not well concentrated. Very grateful to have extra time for practice today. Hoping to do kind of a solo retreat day at home all day next Saturday. The family seems to be OK with trying that.

AM Sitting, 1 hr. Continued with pulse vibrations as a touch point and including any other micro-sensations I could find, also tried to see the composite nature of mental events. 1st 20 mins was kind of distracted and had to make an effort to quiet down enough to be with the sub-sensation level of presenting sensations. After that got into more of a groove. Became aware of the throat chakra, that it was feeling relatively quiet and less windy, like it wasn't leaking wind (does that make sense?)


Later 2 hours of formal sitting, walking and meditative discussion with a small group who sometimes meet with a family friend who is an authorized meditation teacher but doesn't formally teach. (Interestingly, he started with Zen but for the last 30 years has done nothing but 3rd gear practice.) Sitting with others stirred up social awareness reactions but they seemed relatively more flimsy and less pushy. Started feeling my oats, like I could see through social anxiety at times. Tried investigating the seeing of the floor which seemed at first absolutely solid, but I did acknowledge that in reality my perception of the floor was changing as my head and eyes moved and reflected light danced on the floor. Didn't get any further with that. Quieted down and was reminded of a usually forgotten state where one appreciates the need to stay moment-to-moment present with thoughts to really see one, then maybe another.

Don't want to be a blabber mouth but maybe some reading this would be interested in this small group meditative discussion practice which grew out of Zen practices. After an hour of meditation, anothe round of sitting starts and everyone approaches it as meditation but anyone is free to bring up a point from sitting or awareness in life to investigate with others. It's not supposed to be concptual chatting but trying to see something together. I've participated in this practice occassionally for years now and find it really useful being able to engage in a spare, verbal interaction with others in a meditative state. And then try to see the self images, reactions and behaviors that come up. To catch a pattern in the act of having an idea and attitude about someone, holding a superior idea, posturing and being pompous, then feeling ridiculous and guilty and then the possibility of just opening to all the sensations and events of that without judgement or defense. A pretty neat adjunct to sitting.

PM sitting: 30 mins. 1st 15 or 20 mins followed pulsing sensations pretty consciously, then began to lose it and fall asleep. Heading to bed. Lovely to have a weekend interlude of sanity. Now back to the work week. This week I resolve to cut my caffeine consumption in half all week.

"Tried investigating the seeing of the floor which seemed at first absolutely solid, but I did acknowledge that in reality my perception of the floor was changing as my head and eyes moved and reflected light danced on the floor."-mpavoreal

This is the way forward, MP. Nice. You are beginning to penetrate the object. The rope reveals itself as a line of ants. Keep up the good work!

Kenneth

Thank you, Kenneth. When you don't know the way forward, it's good to have a guide.

AM sitting: 1 hour. Used pulse as anchor for noting. Trying to see the minute sensations of the pusling but noting thoughts and images or other sensations when they became dominant, then returned to the pulsing.

PM sitting: 30 mins. Started off very alert and energetic, same practice as this morning, but moved steadily toward sound asleep. I'll try again in the a.m.

AM sitting 45 mins attempting to use penetrating pulsing as anchor for noting. Seemed to work best with non-verbal noting, but mind wandered easily. So tried trying to get a quieter and more flexible noting. I want to keep up my noting muscles for daily life practice, they started to slip noticeably after a few weeks of doing only samatha.

PM Sitting. 15 mins. Short on sleep last night. Already sleeping tonight!

Insomnia again last night. Usually don't fight it anymore, but regard it as a chance to meditate in bed for a couple of hours. Concentrating on following the breath at abdomen wasn't bad for supposedly being asleep.
AM sitting: 1 hr. Trying to enter into the vibrations of pulsing in the body for first 1/2 hour, then open to noting with pulsing as return point. It's easier for me to space out while entering into pulsing than while noting, but pulse investigation seems to make noting finer. The lights would start to come on for a generally awake awareness for a few seconds but then dim again for minutes at at time. Energies perked up and roamed around but, aside from being energizing, they don't seem especially significant unless they are noted/noticed, and didn't feel like I was hitting them dead on most of the time today.

So... what do you "see" when you're noting or observing these vibrations? What are you looking for? If you can feel the vibrations in your hands,what happens in your head as a result?