Keith's first meditation notes, ever!

Thanks Nik,
60 mn sit eyes closed noting internally.
Took your advice and did not attach names to the scenes and images. Tried to note them as remembering, planning, random images, feeling tones , guilt lust , determination, resolve etc.

Felt my head perspective shift towards the last 1/4 of the sit , Noticed some subtle sensations that seem to have a pleasant quality that I had not noted before. Just caught myself making notes of that. Oh and the other question i had was when i'm having a thought say a scene or what not and I have a delayed reactions meaning i'm embedded then i remember to note the thought, the thought often comes to an end or stops abruptly. This is just new for me. I remember first looking at sensation and i thinking that my observing it was making it go away. Any thoughts on that.

Bhanga Shmanga !

Good day indeed,
60 min sit eyes closed non verbal noting. Noted many sensations together just popping off where ever all over mostly subtle. Noted mind images last 15 min seemed to be that different perspective again I caught myself trying to observe the characteristics of the actually state and awareness i thought i was in.

Not so excited about that state anymore although it is pretty calm and generally pleasant. I may just be having an off day but the thought of dating in light of seeing the futility of expecting anything of this melting passing world to be satisfactory just seems to be ringing in my head right now. what's the point? I mean I've been trying to get excited about the enlightened relationships talked about in Ekart Tolle's power of Now. But can't help thinking it might help if one or the other person were actually enlightened right?

cheers

talk about not being in the moment..... I'm not even in a relationship.

Any hoot. 60 min sit yesterday around 2:40 am after work. Was a rough ride I was very buzzy thoughts were very much in the foreground and a bit tough to dis-emmbed from. I was noting internally eyes closed and felt like i eventually got to some state there was a shift in the quality of the sit.

Sat again 60 min eyes closed internal noting this morning. Bit rough trying to dissect the thoughts and tag them with something. At times it just felt like a jumbled mess of stuff forward backward scenes plans. Impatience frustration the whole deal or spectrum of sensations tones emotions thoughts. Feel a bit stuck in the current practice although I know it been just a week or two of the noting. I think ( achtung ) that with the Goenka style I was hanging out in samahdi and just enjoying getting attached to the pleasant sensations thinking the work was getting done in the background. Now I feel like I want to keep it moving to stages and states beyond but not sure how to do it. I read a post by Serena I think that mentioned she followed you guys up and down the Jahnic video Arch. I was thinking this might be a good idea just so that there is a short term goal to achieve and things to see.

cheers

Did not sit last night after work sat this morning 60min eyes closed.
First gear. Seem to be hitting the same sort of stage at proximately the same time every sit.
I've resolved to sit tonight after work.Reading other post and staying inspired.
Reading Being Dharma by Ajahn Chah.


cheers

Sat after work 53 min. eyes closed. Got restless discouraged had a clear vision of the time left which was I think 23 min.
Opened my eyes just a crack for a sec. All of this however seems unimportant details of the outside.
sat this morning when i got up 60 min eyes closed. Seemed like I got to what I'll call close to bangha for a lack of a better term very early in the hour. Sensations tones emotions and thoughts started to become more separated more defined.
very strong sit in a sense that the feeling of non effort was strong riht on the edge of being able to just keep sitting once the hour was up. Oh I had a question too about the tones and the emotions and thoughts. If sensations have tones associated with them can i explore the tones of emotions as well? Thoughts , do they have tones of pleasant unpleasant or neutral. Thanks going away this weekend and will be away from my cushion so I'll have to find the moments to practice in the world in real time should be good.

Cheers

Sat this morning 60 min eyes closed. Very strong concentration first gear.
Almost effortless sitting, sensations very subtle, got stuck in a thought at the end. Had somewhat of a hard time naming emotions. Impatience, confusion, desire, but it's hard for me to see them I guess that makes sense.

Decided that I actually can take my cushion this weekend. So I'll o both practicing on and off the cushion none the less.
I did have a funny thought that noting that I was slightly upset that the entire community here was not rallying behind my enlightenment when I realized I had neither introduced my self to the group formally nor commented on any one else progress. Ah I guess the self and it's master the Ego are still in charge of the store.
Management will be outsourced soon no worries.

Cheers

You are progressing Keith!!!!!!! Keep noting all that stuff inclunding the desire for recognition. We ALL have that occur. I read your thread everyday and I think you are doing swell!

Bhanga Schmanga!!!!!!

You are doing great keith. I noticed Nick had been corresponding with you. Nick has a lot of Glenna experience so you are in good hands. Great to see you making progress and sticking with it. Best of luck!

Metta

Thanks guys just what I needed to hear. Off the cushion challenge starts now.
Will report back Tuesday.

Hey Gang,
so the off the cushion stuff was interesting. I was with people who actually sat 2 of the 4 days of the weekend. I sat 1 x 50 min sitting. It was interesting to see how quickly my practice slacked off with a few distractions around and a schedule that was out of my control. I tried to stay with sensations when i could. Used the bon fire as a type of object for awhile.
Sat today for 60 back on the cushion and tried a new method Kenneth showed me during our last session. Question do you guys mix and match methods that you read about here or do you find that Kenneth sort of shows you the ones you need at the moment?

Cheers

So Sat 60 min on the cushion today. I tried mixing it up a bit I felt that Kenneth was leading me to not stay in samatha but move into vipassana. So I opened my eyes and looked around every once in a while and tried the eye rolling thing that Kenneth showed me. Feels strange not really sure if I'm doing it right. I feel very excited by this forum and all the material flying around. Reading MTCTB and connecting dots. Learning the language of the yogis I guess.
Dan's book was talking about the three trainings which is really helping me get a grip on the difference between morality, concentration and insight. For years it was all just a blur to me.
Feel like there is so much to learn still. Wondering about all the different methods. I guess they are all tools to use at different times in a balanced way. I'm grateful to have this forum because I can see how i would become stuck in one or the other thinking it was the end goal.
Cheers

Great to hear Keith! There'll always be much to learn.

Feel free to describe how you are doing the eye technique or what is giving you doubts about it if you think some input would help in that area.

Also... Have a nice weekend!

Thansk MUMU,
it feels like I'm forcing something, feels unnatural compared to my usual investigative activities. Then sometimes I flicker my eyes in a way that I can still see bits of the world in front of me or just occasionally when the eyes open wider at the end of a cycle. But I can also make them flicker in a more subtle way under my lids. Kenneth talked about a sweet spot. I guess I have a bit of fear about it.
I can actually make them flicker with ease I'm just not sure where my attention should be. Sensations? The pulsing light that the flickering makes? So I'm a bit lost as to what to do once the flickering starts.
Kenneth did mention getting to a state of still focused eyes then go into flickering then back down again. That's what I'm trying. I think it's the exorcist thing from when I was a kid. LOL

So any help would be much appreciated thanks MUmu

Cheets

The sweet spot.

So yeah, you jam the eyes all the way up and you're seeing lights out side. If you put them on the horizon there is no flicker. But somewhere in between is a sweet spot. When there it is fairly effortless, and you might notice some other twitching in the facial muscles.

Pay attention to the flickering itself. It is a meditation object. What's nice is that it is a great example of impermanence as it is a rapidly changing object.

The idea with using the two positions, I think, is as follows. Putting the eyes in the downward position (mudra) creates a kasina like setup. You are concentrating on the non-diversity you see in that position. This is restfull and causes you to become more and more concentrated in whichever stratum you are currently in. This is a very useful tool for exploring individual strata (because it allows you to go deeper before you start exploring it).

When you move the eyes up, it create interference. It breaks up the strata you are in and hopefully causes you to move on up into the next one. Again you can do the downward eye thing to get concentrated there and then put the eyes up and break through.

I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I picture the process working.

The exorcist thing is funny. Watch this video of Shinzen Young. It'll take some of the weirdness away by watching him do it too

Also, I notice that when my dog goes to sleep he puts his eyes down. When he dreams he puts them up (and they move around)

Hey Thanks mumuwu.
I'm a monkey see monkey do kinda guy I just like to see at least two monkeys doing it before i jump in.
So thanks for the corroboration. Your explanation makes sense. It was the interference that was throwing me off.

Thanks again
Bhanga Schmanga !

Keith,

You are soooo welcome!

Check on the Jhanic free for all recording posted by Owen. There's a great description of the eye stuff there. They talk about it as a speed control. Looking down gets you more absorbed in whichever strata you are in, looking up will cause you to ascend, staying at the horizon is default speed.

60 min sit this morning eyes closed. Got into a concentrated state within a few minuets started noting sensations tones and mind states. Body felt straight no effort in sitting. subtle sensations slight twitching here and there, coolness of the air on the skin bit of pressure around the third eye occasionally. I'm sitting with no primary object according to Kenneth's suggestions. Noting sensations feeling tones and mind states. Thoughts as well trying to call them future thoughts planning etc. Eyes were closed and stable on the horizon in the middle I played around with focus a bit today trying to focus on the red blob that I can kinda see behind my eyelids. Feeling of floating. Peaceful state feeling lots of subtle sensations on the surface of the body. TRied the eye rolling trick still not sure what I should experience after I do that. I felt a bit dizzy after doing it for a while. Started to look down to experience going deeper into the state I was in. seemed to stabilize me a bit. I was noting lots a excitement and fear about what was going to happen after I started rolling my eyes. I did feel some energy shifting around waves surging through the body subtly for short periods after doing the eye thing. My perspective tilted today like I was rolling over sideways for just a minuet.
KInda tumbling through space it was fun. The 60 min went by very fast without anticipation of time until shortly before the session ended and sensations in ankle were noted and observed in detail.

Cheers

Currently noting a desire to know where I am ( which is right here of course ) when I sit. Meaning which strata I'm in and how to get to the next one or simply be more aware of the definitions of the ones I'm currently observing. I also tried something Kenneth walked me through not sure what the practice is called but the zoom out exercise. I'm a man in a room in a house on a block in a town in a country on a continent on a planet in a solar system in a galaxy in space. I did feel my perspective shift a bit wider after doing this practice. Not sure if this is a witness thing or not.

sat last night after work eyes closed noting 60 min timer. Mind was very busy with thoughts which I tried to note. Body sensations where buzzzing noted as unpleasant not gross but loud tingling. Body was straight and sitting was not an effort but the mind was racing with thoughts noted agitation with the thoughts. Mind state was annoyed impatient frustrated. Thoughts still going effort not to stop and get up. unpleasant tight feeling in the body solid yet buzzing large surface sensations.
Started the eye technique that and would feel a surge of energy like something wanted to pop, second chakra area would surge with energy, mind state of anticipation then when the eyes leveled off a shift in quality of sensations subtler feeling of floating a bit.
Starting again for morning sit.

Thanks

sat this morning 60 min timed eyes closed. Much smoother than last night noted lots of little un dramatic sensations from twitches to slight pressures noticed one that was pulsing in a very small diameter then I'd loose sight of it then it would pulse again I tried to recognize a rhythmic pattern but because it was intermittent and faint from time to time it was hard to see it. TRied the eye thing again seems to really whip up the energy in my body there is an excitement and anticipation like something is about to happen and when I slow it down again there is the sense of drifting to a settled position. Really appreciating all the documentation on this site
lots of questions that I thought I had for Kenneth are addressed in that side bar to the left of this page. Check it out.

Thank you all.

Sat last night just 20min eyes closed. Was pretty intense tingling sensations full body pretty good equanimity felt like. Noting.
Had a cloud of little sensations firing off all over the body different styles twitches pulsing one that I watched for a while did a strange pulsing dance for a while.
Read a few things on the blog here about constant noting which I'm trying today. Sat this morning for 60 min eyes closed strong sit which I think means high equanimity noting thoughts sensations the whole lot. Towards the end of the sit a full body semi unpleasant type of sensation arouse like when your leg falls asleep a bit intense did the eyes thing I guess I also related the last set of sensations to the concentration breaking up via vipassana I'm just putting this together based on what I remember Kenneth talking about . It did feel like a speeding p and a breaking up.

Keith,

It sounds like stuff is really heating up.

Went to the store and started noting disgruntled about the sit a bit I decided to start noting everything and here I sit typing with a heightened awareness of body sensations tingling third eye pressure hearing, my hand was shaking earlier, noting thoughts and mind states, trippy a but my vision is clear maybe this is happening because my mom told me to read the Sri Atma Gita this morning which I did : ) thanks MOm > Have a feeling that I just want to sit here and keep observing noting curious investigation anticipation okay why not I'm gonna go for it another sit. I'll report back in a few.

Cheers

Hello all who dare read further.... just kidding.
So my practice has been getting a bit different. Started reading about jhanic things bit of desire to be able to ride the arch up and down explore and actually know where I am but I let go of all that after reading one of Kenneth's articles on Buddhist Geeks. The article reminded me of the first instructions that Kenneth gave me which was to note everything. So after reading that article I started to understand the difference between momentary concentration and the deeper Jhanic forms of absorption, because Kenneth explains it therein.
" The Feedback Loop: Staying on Track " is the name of the article.