MuMuWu's Practice Journal

  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60842 by mumuwu
MuMuWu's Practice Journal was created by mumuwu
I spoke with Kenneth for the first time today on Skype. Kenneth has a great way of making things clear, and I appreciate his instruction immensely. He suggested I start a practice Journal on here, so here goes:

June 14, 2010
20 Minutes (timer)

Not a great sit. Attempted to begin with a kasina practice. Got fairly concentrated, began to notice sensations in body typical of a concentrated state. Eyes began to get irritated by ceiling fan. Closed eyes and began to focus on breath. Noticed a lot of anticipation/judgemental thoughts of what I was doing. Probably related to just talking to Kenneth/having to switch over from kasina.

Noticed some pain in my back, kept switching between focus on breath to sensations although I was trying to build concentration. Felt like I was getting in my own way. Kept focusing on sensations in my body in anticipation of Jhana (although I wasn't concentrated enough for it to arise).

Opened eyes, attempted kasina again. Once again, eyes too irritated.

Overall feeling tone - somewhat annoyed. Trying too hard for a result.

Question - Do you switch from the kasina practice to noting with eyes closed or do you remain focused on the kasina object with eyes open and note the sensations while keeping your eyes on the object?
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60843 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Tried the Kasina practice again for another 10 minutes without the fan on. Had a good bit more luck with it. Noticed after a couple of minute with some intense warm/pleasurable sensations in my face, hands, arms, and trunk. Shifted focus to this sensation. It got quite a bit more intense but did not become absorbed in it. Much less thought during meditation.

I'm thinking the kasina I'm using does not have enough contrast against the background.
Did not do noting practice.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60844 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Third attempt - 10 minutes
Used a white bowl this time to improve contrast.
Noticeable difference right away. Bowl looks like sundisc now (so the afterimage is much more apparant). Very intense feelings of warmth/pleasure along with feeling of joy after a few minutes. This feeling eventually became less intense as I became aware of a fairly intense back pain (related to posture I think). I stayed with the feeling for a while and I noticed that somewhat similar pleasurable sensations started to become apparent alongside of the pain in the back.
The topic has been locked.
  • ClaytonL
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60845 by ClaytonL
Replied by ClaytonL on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Hey man you have been posting all over the place I was wondering why you haden't started your own Journal. Good to see you did. In your first post you write "Not a great sit" then proceed to explain stuff that was going on. Don't worry about your concept of what good meditation looks like. Just keep dis-embedding and you can't fail. Even pissed of wandering mind is good meditation if you note it... Good luck
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60846 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Thanks Clayton! I think that's a really great heads up for me.

Just a quick note. A lot of the sensations that came along with the Kasina (warm/cool numbness in and around face hands and trunk that was very pleasant) stayed and got deeper throughout the evening.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60847 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
20 minute session
Feeling going into it : fairly positive. Had just played ball with Dog outside.
Started with 5 minutes or so of Kasina. During this practice notice a lot of necker cube type stuff (I was using a Sri Yantra). I also noticed that toward the end of the 5 minutes the visual field around the object started to darken. Throughout the Kasina practice a feeling of warmth/energy built up in my arms, face and trunk. It was quite pleasant.

Eyes began to get a bit watery, switched to closed eyes practice. First began focusing on mental image of kasina until it faded then switched to breath and began noting.

Noted many pleasant feelings that had developed during the kasina. Mostly a feeling of warmth/energy in the same places mentioned above that got stronger and more pleasant. Noted feelings of Joy and noticed the visual field becoming brighter and more uniform a long with a feeling of spaciousness.

Noticed the pleasant feelings begin to weaken and a lot of thoughts about my practice began to arise. Returned to 4 foundations type practice. Noted the physical feelings I had just gone through. Less things stood out from before, switched to noting the feeling tone associated with each physical sensation. Noted any emotions --> feelings of Joy / slight anxiety. Noted thoughts, noticed an immediate shift. Things became easier to note, overall feeling opened up, became lighter. Stopped being embedded in thinking, noted any further thoughts.

Noticed feelings of warmth / energy begin to arise again. Time's up.

Note to self: Noting practice is powerful stuff for getting out of your own way. As soon as I took the distracting thoughts as an object got a REAL sense of becoming disembedded. Also noticed that the sort of sensations and occurrences that had lead to 1st Jhana in past happen just as quickly through the 4 foundations practice.
The topic has been locked.
  • kennethfolk
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60848 by kennethfolk
Replied by kennethfolk on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
"Also noticed that the sort of sensations and occurrences that had lead to 1st Jhana in past happen just as quickly through the 4 foundations practice."-Mumuwu

Nice observation, Mumuwu. Many very subtle places in the mind, including all four material jhanas, can be accessed via the khanika samadhi (momentary concentration) vehicle, which simply means that when your noting is accurate and continuous, you go deep. If you keep the "cognitive load" high, which means that you use up most or all of the processing power of your mind by challenging yourself to note accurately and continuously, there is no processing power left for suffering or wandering. This is the genius of the Mahasi technique! Since there is no processing power left to wander, you are undistracted. Simple and powerful. Become an expert at noting and crack this nut.

:-)
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60849 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
20 More minutes:
Did not start with Kasina practice, just awareness of breathing. Did 4 foundations type practice. Noticed several neat things during this sitting.
First: My mind must have been a good bit clearer after my first session, as everything seemed much stiller inside. There was a nice brightness to the visual field and it seemed that at one point What had seemed like was in front of my face (the visual field when your eyes closed) sort of lost the association with my head and seemed to encompass my whole experience (if that makes sense). It kind of feels like what you see when your eyes are closed moved a lot closer. Hard to describe.

Very strong pleasurable feelings. Sense of wanting to get into Jhana still persists. Thinking became more of a distraction, continued to note it.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60850 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
""Also noticed that the sort of sensations and occurrences that had lead to 1st Jhana in past happen just as quickly through the 4 foundations practice."-Mumuwu

Nice observation, Mumuwu. Many very subtle places in the mind, including all four material jhanas, can be accessed via the khanika samadhi (momentary concentration) vehicle, which simply means that when your noting is accurate and continuous, you go deep. If you keep the "cognitive load" high, which means that you use up most or all of the processing power of your mind by challenging yourself to note accurately and continuously, there is no processing power left for suffering or wandering. This is the genius of the Mahasi technique! Since there is no processing power left to wander, you are undistracted. Simple and powerful. Become an expert at noting and crack this nut.

:-)
"

Makes a ton of sense! I had a real sense of it today vs. an intellectual understanding. Palpable disembedding!
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60851 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Sat again for 20 minutes. Building on the last 2 sessions, this one seemed to go deeper again.

Noted very pleasant warm/energy sensations throughout body almost immediately after sitting with eyes closed and noting rising and falling with the breath. Continued to note pleasant sensations as well as the occasional stray thought/evaluation.

Pleasant/energy sensations in face, trunk, legs and hands got very intense. Mind stayed very clear throughout. Noted several intense points on neck and face and 1 point on left inner thigh. Felt like an itch. Tended to stay even though noted them for quite a while. Seemed to rise and fall together (the itchy points). Eventually stopped noticing itchy points. Pleasure/energy began to intensify. Bell went off.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60852 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
"Sat again for 20 minutes. Building on the last 2 sessions, this one seemed to go deeper again.

Noted very pleasant warm/energy sensations throughout body almost immediately after sitting with eyes closed and noting rising and falling with the breath. Continued to note pleasant sensations as well as the occasional stray thought/evaluation.

Pleasant/energy sensations in face, trunk, legs and hands got very intense. Mind stayed very clear throughout. Noted several intense points on neck and face and 1 point on left inner thigh. Felt like an itch. Tended to stay even though noted them for quite a while. Seemed to rise and fall together (the itchy points). Eventually stopped noticing itchy points. Pleasure/energy began to intensify. Bell went off."

Sat again for 15 minutes.

Noticing that the real block I'm running into now was the analysis beyond noting that I had been doing. Seems to be that I was often thinking of how I would phrase something when I wrote about it here.

Noticed ever deepening sensations around the body that were quite pleasurable. More intense this time.

Seemed to be more equanimity by end of the sitting. Didn't care to get up, sound of the timer didn't really generate a mental reaction. Very pleasant buzz. Definitely will try for longer sitting periods. Seems that the bell goes off just as things begin to cook.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60853 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
25 minutes (5 minute increase)

Wanted to try breath counting today (instead of kasina).

Noticed that it took longer for energy like sensations to develop. Also found my mind more sluggish and harder to note. Mind got very quiet over time though and seemed to become more and more tranquil internally. Noted slight energy in arms and face (warm feeling, pleasant) but less than last formal sit.

Noted occasional distracting thought. At one point memory flashed of something I wrote in a get well card for someone from my work last week (found out he has cancer today). I then thought that I should have wrote something more meaningful than get well soon. Thought of Kenneth singing off with Metta above. Got a feeling of joy/bliss in accordance with this.

Mind got very quiet, easy to stay with breath. Noted Access concentration. Focused attention on blissful feelings. Timer went off.

Nice session. Very equanimous afterwords. Let the alarm ring some time with no mental reaction to it. Noting was difficult this session. Mainly stayed with the breath, noted when I noticed I was trailing off and then was brought back to the breath. Over time things settled out.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60854 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Last night sat for 30 minutes. Decided to use a more formal sitting position (rather than using a chair) with a very straight back. This worked well as it helped with my concentration.

Several notable things:
1. At one point I felt a lot of pressure behind my face. It got particularly strong in my mouth and then my mouth opened on its own and remained so for the rest of the sitting
2. Noticed some full body twitches. Slight, but I would sort of twitch slightly in one direction.
3. Experienced some very solid, intense pains around the body

This was right before bed so my recall of the whole session is a bit fuzzy.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60855 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Also noticed vibrations around the face. At one point seemed like several frequencies at once. This phenomenon is getting more pronounced as time goes on. Feels like muscles twitching sometimes, other times feels like a pulse.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60856 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
15 Minute sitting at lunch at work.

Used this as a Kasina: www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=10740716 (you can adjust the size using the zoom feature on your browser).

Stared at Kasina for about 5 minutes. Noticed it jumping around several times. It blinked out of existence for a second or two and then came back several times.

Switched to noting sensations. Noted a very intense solid energy feeling in body and hands and face. It was similar to what I've been feeling but it was slightly more intense. It's starting to be less enjoyable. Still feels somewhat warm.

Noticing that very little emotion has been noticed since I started this practice journal. Wondering if I am embedded at that level.

Noted some random thoughts, became dismbedded (felt it) at that level.

Noted twitching in lips and face that began during Kasina practice. This is something that is becoming more prevalent as practice continues.

Also have been noticing the TV-snow like nature of vision is becoming more noticeable.
The topic has been locked.
  • yadidb
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60857 by yadidb
Replied by yadidb on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
I also get those effects with Kasina, mumuwu.
Do you sit and meditate near the computer?
I actually use a light-blue bowl and it's amazing how such a simple practice can lead to such blissful states.
I simply place it on the floor, faced toward me, about a metre away.
And in regards to the tv-snow like nature, I can also see that when doing Kasina practice.

Sounds good! :)
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60858 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
"I also get those effects with Kasina, mumuwu.
Do you sit and meditate near the computer?
I actually use a light-blue bowl and it's amazing how such a simple practice can lead to such blissful states.
I simply place it on the floor, faced toward me, about a metre away.
And in regards to the tv-snow like nature, I can also see that when doing Kasina practice.

Sounds good! :)"

I've tried it with a bunch of different objects actually. I find it doesn't seem to make much of a difference, but when at the office I just load up a good object on the screen and use that.

I found a white bowl worked quite well at home, as did a guitar case, a birthday card, ooooh and this screensaver that comes on when I go to bed (default mac os x one with what looks like a little multicolored flame moving around) is extremely good. The screensaver is weird because the object is moving and I can watch my eyes move with it (predator tracking it's prey style). I found it worked particularly good.

Another neat one is this: www.soulsongyogawear.com.au/Portals/5/im...0Smooth%2013.5cm.jpg

You can watch your mind try to make something solid out of it. It combines the triangles in different patterns, makes somewhat 3d looking images from it, does all sorts of weird things.

But yes, the main thing is the ease at which bliss states seem to be accessed. Literally a minute in and I'm filled with very warm sensations which I can then choose to deconstruct or focus on.
The topic has been locked.
  • yadidb
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60859 by yadidb
Replied by yadidb on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Now you got me intrigued.. I'll make sure to try those.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60860 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Was driving home today after being out and about and paying attention to sensations. I had been trying to pay close attention to impermanence today. I would watch things to see how they changes and how they are made up of a bunch of changing sensations. I had also been noting what happens when you look at two things at once.

Anyhow, on the way home I thought of how there's the primary experience of seeing things and hearing things and all of that. But in order to actually perceive it (and I thought of how people don't see a lot of things in subliminal ads, but they are in the visual field) I had to focus on something in particular, and then think about it and form a mental object out of it. It was subtle but I could see this happening. That everything was just available as it was until I tried to grasp any of it at all mentally. And I saw how the grasping is caused by craving and how I the same grasping leads me into thinking when I am bored with what is going on.

I sort of understood these things before and I've had similar experiences but this was very clear, and the sensation of the formation of consciousness on top of the primary experience (which was much broader) was clearly felt.

Along with this understanding came a large upswell of energy all over my body and feelings of bliss. Because I was driving I started to feel afraid that it could get out of control so I started focusing on my breath and tried to relax.

Anyhow, it was really neat.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60861 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Sat for 20 minutes. 5 mins of Kasina to start.

During Kasina noted intense sensation of warmth/energy all over my body. I'm thinking this must be 1st Jhana as that's what it reminds me of most but I am not absorbed in it.

Switched to closed eyes and noting. Noted changes in overall feel throughout. Noted the mind settled down and the visual field got simpler along with less intense but nice energy. Noticed that eventually the visual field got brighter and the warm energy feelings eventually came back, noticed a similar transition as before with brighter visual field also focus seemed to widen or maybe the visual field was no longer felt to be behind my eyes (had this happen before, hard to describe).

Timer goes off.

Suspect that I was expecting to go into an absorption state and if I didn't I wasn't getting into first Jhana. I now suspect I may be going beyond that Jhana but in a fuzzier way. I have been in 1st Jhana before and If I think about those sensations they come up (and they come up with the Kasina). If I begin noting, it changes and I think I may be entering other Jhana's, but not having accessed them via samatha I wonder if I just do not have a good feel for what I'm running into. Resolve to look into this further.

The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60862 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Another 20 minute sit. 5 Mins of Kasina to start - similar to last post

Notice that I had the nice pleasant warm sensation. They deepend. Mind became clearer. More of an open feeling. Less of the physical pleasantness, but still some energy. Noticed a brightening of the visual field and the sensations intensified. At this point started to feel a couple of pinprick sized itches around the body. Energy started to feel more solid and more uncomfortable. Building intensity, building uncomfortableness. This broke into a pleasant, open experience, still experiencing some energy. Along with energy started to feel some queasiness around my throat.

Timer goes off.

Thinking I'm starting to see some patterns. Will investigate further. Starting to see some trends and will need to label more individual sensations.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60863 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
Ok,

something new.

Sat for only 10 minutes. Focused on breath for a while then started noting. Think I got fairly deep into first Jhana, noticed some thinking, got 4 foundations practice going. Noting things on all 4 levels fairly rapidly. Noting what the outer limts of my body feel like until they break apart. Start to feel some pain and itches. Noting those. Arising of feelings similar to first Jhana. Still noting. Things get fairly calm and nice for a while. Noting sensations. Decide to try some things with the eyes. Roll my eyes up. Feel large upsweel of energy with feelings of joy. Brightness in visual field. See blobs of energy (not very bright, but brighter than the background) forming and moving toward me.

Timer goes off.
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60864 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
15 minutes

Had been noting all over the body at random. Started noting just the sensations in the belly. Found a small, dime sized spot that was cool, pleasant, filled with Joy and exhiliration and energy. As I focused on this noting at a rate of a few per second, I entered first Jhana. I watched the feelings of joy and exhileration lessen then I entered a fairly normal feeling state then I noticed some itchy spots around the body (still noting at the stomach where the feeling of joy and coolness started to come back). Felt like entering first Jhana again with less of the exhileration but more joy. Then I noticed the feelings of Joy lessen and the visual field got brighter and the feelings of energy increased. I then felt a shift in the visual field so that it didn't feel like I was localized to the space behind my eyes. I think at this point I noted things get more mellow and then the timer went off.
The topic has been locked.
  • AnthonyYeshe
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60865 by AnthonyYeshe
Replied by AnthonyYeshe on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
hey your jhana progress is awesome!
The topic has been locked.
  • mumuwu
  • Topic Author
13 years 9 months ago #60866 by mumuwu
Replied by mumuwu on topic RE: MuMuWu's Practice Journal
1. Breathing in I know I am breathing in, Breathing out I know I am breathing out
2. Breathing in a long breath I know I am breathing a long breath. Breathing out a long breath, I know I am breathing out a long breath.
3. Breathing in a short breath, I know I am breathing in a short breath, breathing out a short breath know I am breathing out a short breath.
4. Breathing in, I am aware of my whole body. Breathing out, I am aware of my whole body.
5. Breathing in, I experience joy. Breathing out, I experience joy.
6. Breathing in, I experience happiness. Breathing out, I experience happiness.
7. Breathing in, I am aware of the feeling [that is present now]. Breathing out, I am aware of the feeling [that is present now].
8. Breathing in, I calm the feeling [that is present now].Breathing out, Breathing in, I calm the feeling [that is present now].
9. Breathing in, I am aware of the activity of the mind [that is present now]. Breathing out, I am aware of the activity of the mind [that is present now].
10. Breathing in I make the activity of the mind happy. Breathing out, I make the activity of the mind happy.
11. Breathing in, I bring right concentration to bear on the activity of the mind. Breathing out, I bring right concentration to bear on the activity of the mind.
12. Breathing in, I liberate the activity of my mind. Breathing out, I liberate the activity of my mind.
13. Breathing in, I observe the impermanence nature of all dharmas. Breathing out, I observe the impermanence nature of all dharmas.
14. Breathing in, I observe the letting go of all dharmas. Breathing out, I observe the letting go of all dharmas.
15. Breathing in, I observe no craving with regard to all dharmas. Breathing out, I observe no craving with regard to all dharmas.
16. Breathing in, I observe the nature of cessation of all dharmas. Breathing out, I observe the nature of cessation of all dharmas.
The topic has been locked.
Powered by Kunena Forum