Omni's practice log

1 hour sit, noting out loud + 'ships in the harbor' + narrative/stillness

Attention was good. There was some slippery mind now and then, which led me to experiment with noting narrative/stillness. I would note N or S each other note. Like so: stillness, tension, narrative, warmth, narrative, imaging thought, stillness '¦
This helped to keep me from being taken away by slippery mind, but it also felt very narrow and contracted. It was hard to combine with 'listening to the ships in the harbor' which usually feels very spacious.

1 hour sit/stand, noting out loud + narrative/stillness

I was very sleepy. Extreme wandering during the first half of the sit, until I stood up and threw in the narrative/stillness practice I did yesterday. This took care of the wandering. A little while later, light kriyas started happening (rocking back and forth). Quite some worrying thought about the fact I'm still not seeing clear progress of insight happening.

1 hour sit/stand, noting out loud + narrative/stillness

Attention was good. Lots of kriyas. First many head jerks. For a while my upper body trembled quickly and lightly. The movement seemed to start at the base of my spine. My eyes blinked a lot. I saw some faint green/blue lightblobs. The sudden head jerks stopped and a while later my head was making light fluent movements from left to right and back. The speed increased for a short time and then decreased again. The upper body rocked back and forth slightly. Intense itches in the face. Some fear now and then. The visual outside world seemed to vibrate once again. Then pleasant imaging thought, proto thoughts that I couldn't really 'hear', but of which I knew the topic somehow. Some dreamy slippery mind occured towards the end, including lots of narrative/stillness noting helped.

Driving the car + attending a course, noting out loud in the car, being mindful during the course

Good attention, even during the period of irritation/frustration/anger/flurry when the GPS abandoned me and I arrived too late at the course I was attending. Good mindfulness during the course itself, even when there was lots of talking going on, and also afterwards when I drove home at a time that I'm usually asleep already.

1 hour sit/stand, noting out loud + narrative/stillness

I was knackered when I started the meditation. Attention was good at first, but then the sleepiness got hold of me. Noting narrative/stillness helped once again.
For a short while I was very focused on what I saw in front of me (canvas of a sofa), it appeared sharper. Then the same thing with sounds for a couple of minutes (birds outside).

I stood up when things got too sleepy and walked around the room a bit. I experimented a bit with the pacing of the notes. Too fast felt too shallow, too slow felt too sleepy, about 1 note every two seconds felt right. Some faint glimpses of effortless clear attention towards the end, and also finally acceptance of the sleepiness and dreamy mind.

1 hour sit, noting out loud + narrative/stillness

Attention was good although there were many brainstorming thoughts and planning thoughts about work that were very tempting to get involved in. When I noticed this pull, I noted narrative or stillness every other note, but faster than last time. I'd note randomly out loud (about a note every 2 seconds) and between those spoken labels I'd note N/S mentally.

1 hour sit, noting out loud + narrative/stillness

I was sleepy and noting was more shallow than I like it, but I've seen worse lately. Lots of impatience and even some boredom. I tried to see all the places in the body these things could be felt. The sensations in the throat were intense. I tried to listen 'for the ships in the harbor' once again, but as is the case the past days, this didn't make sense to me anymore. It felt better to just note randomly.

50 minutes sit, noting out loud

Attention was fine. This was a rather 'easy' meditation, no dullness or sleepiness, but not effortless either. Some kriyas again, rocking back and forth and some light body shocks.
At a certain point I deliberately stopped the kriyas to see what that would lead to. There was a strong felt contrast now that the body sat completely still. I experienced a sort of clear sharpness and feelings of unrest. Brainstorming thoughts were popping up all over the place again (this seems to happen a lot lately, suddenly I'll get a good idea for work during meditation and it's tempting not to go along with those thoughts). Some unexpected sounds made my head jerk to the right now and then (also happens a lot lately), while the rest of my body didn't feel startled.

1 hour sit/stand, noting out loud

This one started out sleepy but I changed my position and finally stood up, which helped a great deal. A lot feelings of being in a rut, boredom, listlessness, impatience, doubt, scatteredness, dissatisfaction, self-judging, self-pity, anger '¦ A bit of a continuation of the previous part of the day. Today noting practice seems to help to move things along, but it requires effort to get started with it.

1 hour sit/stand, noting out loud

I started seated with eyes closed. This went well until I got sleepy. One time the sleepiness was suddenly disrupted by a couple of minutes of heightened alertness, some tingling and tension was increasing as if something was about to happen, but the sleepiness just returned.I stood up and noted things like pressure, itching, imaging thought, impatience, talk thought, planning thought, doubting thought, acceptance, worry ... Nothing special, no idea where I am on the map. Often doubting if I'm even on the map. What would Dora do?

1 hour sit, noting out loud

I started with random noting for a couple of minutes, then switched to just binary noting of "narrative/stillness". This really keeps me on my toes.

Head jerks started right away. There was a short period (5 minutes?) of heat building in my throat area, followed by a shorter period (1 minute?) of pressure on the forehead. Then the sit was easy without anything special. Just itches, pressures, narrative, stillness, planning thought ... the usual things. No light stuff, no anxiety, nausea, no effortlessness, hardly any kriyas, maybe a bit fidgetty, mind not particularly slippery, no clue about the maps as usual.

Lately I have the feeling that noting practice is easier than it used to be, but at the same time I feel less driven during meditation. When I sit for formal practice I'm not more restless but I'm not sitting as still as I used to. I'll keep noting while getting up for a glass of water for example, or I'll take a short note when a sudden inspiration comes up, because otherwise that topic will keep bugging me all the time. This used to be different. It was as if I took formal practice more seriously. Don't know if that's good, bad or irrelevant?

"Lately I have the feeling that noting practice is easier than it used to be, but at the same time I feel less driven during meditation."

Perhaps you're now becoming consciously competent now? Next step, unconscious competence!

Loving your reports mate, also checked out your portfolio and was blown away! Talented mo'fo' : )

You're too kind dear sir.

Ping pong noting practice on Skype anyone?
Here's when I'm available: tungle.me/omnipleasant

1 hour sit/stand, noting out loud

Attention was good. I started seated. Headjerk kriyas started quickly. After a while (15 minutes?) the visual outside world seemed to flash on and off quickly for about 3 times (now you see me, now you don't ). This wasn't like the faint visual vibrations I've seen lately, it was quicker, more 'black and white' and lasted just a fraction of a second.

[interpretation]
I'd like to think of this as a (series of) cessation(s), but as usual I'm not sure. It reminds me of my post #222 but this time there were no clear bodily reactions afterwards.
[/interpretation]

After a while it started happening a lot that I was suddenly dreaming with eyes closed. One second I would have my eyes open, noting out loud. Then I'd be in this dreamy state for a few seconds and then I'd open my eyes again and wonder why I hadn't seen this coming. This happened a couple of times and when I noticed that I stopped noting out loud during these dreamy episodes I got up and did some binary noting (narrative/silence).

Now this repeated itself a couple of times: the throat and face would get warmer, almost uncomfortably hot.

I noticed a few times that the spoken notes and the breath were synced.

45 minutes sit/stand, noting out loud

A bit the same as yesterday: attention was good until sudden dream episodes appeared. When I noticed that I stopped noting out loud, I changed position, drank some water, stood up ...

20 minutes sit

I started with doing nothing. I didn't guide my attention anywhere. I noticed thoughts coming and going, but didn't put any effort into it. When the sudden dream episodes appeared, I started noting out loud. Today these episodes mainly had sounds in them instead of visuals. My eyes would close, I'd hear an inner sound very clearly (drops of water, bells, voice) but only for a split-second and then I'd open my eyes again, noting out loud, ... this repeated itself for a while. It was as if these imaginary sounds woke me up.

approx. 90 minutes of cleaning the house, noting out loud

It's nice to notice how I get lost in thoughts far less during activities like these. I spot trains of thoughts quicker and can let go of them more easily. I can stick to the task at hand, feeling less contracted or frustrated about other things I want to be doing ...

1 hour sit, noting out loud

It's becoming a bit predictable: attention was fine to begin with, then sudden dream episodes started happening, I continued while standing up, then sat down again until dream episodes returned, got up again ... Lots of music thought, some itches, throat and face heating up again, planning thought, excitement, desire, imaging thought, hearing, restfulness, contentment ...

1 hour sit, noting out loud, finished by counting breath

Attention was good. Tiny shocks of sudden movements here and there in the body, some head jerks.
No dream episodes today. A lot of yawning again. There was a period where everything got clearer, I got a lot of fulfillment by hearing the sounds outside the house (birds, machines, cars). Then suddenly a bright itch on the right cheek, I observed how it varied in intensity and shape. Pressure on forehead came and went. Thighs glowed (warm? cold?) for a couple of minutes after repositioning my legs. Impatience, doubt, dharma thoughts, dispair ...

1 hour sit, noting out loud, hitting a singing bowl

Attention was good. I hit the bowl, noted while listening to the disappearing sound and when it was inaudible I repeated it again and again. This helped to ward off the dreaminess, but it was there nonetheless.

I Skyped with Kenneth today. Sounds like I'm going to stop fighting the dreaminess or whatever it is and just let it be.

1 hour sit, noting out loud

Same same: attention fine for half of the sit, lots of yawning without feeling sleepy, then sudden disappearing of outside world, being in a dream state in the blink of an eye, again and again ... finally stood up to be able to keep registering the outside world

30 minutes Skype with Antero

For about half of the Skype session we practiced pingpong noting, we worked up from pairs to quadruplets.
I was hooked right away and intended to practice quadruplets more often.
Very inspirational session, lots of joy, gratitude, motivation, smiling ...
Thanks Antero!

2 hour bicycle ride while noting (out loud when no one was around)

I was inside the house for the most part of the day. In the evening weather was sublime, not too hot, not too cold, a light breeze, clear open sky ... I couldn't bring myself to sit in my room, so I hopped on my bicycle and meditated for the whole ride.

These meditations while moving are quite different than seated sessions. There's no sleepiness/dreaminess, no kriyas, but a bit more challenging not to get caught in streams of thoughts, especially when there are people around, but it went fine.
I noted out loud when I was alone. I tried quadruplets, but this only worked now and then. The first hour there was lots of joy, bliss, contentment, fantasizing thought (being Link from the Zelda game series ), freedom ... On the way back there was more worry, longing for rest, satisfaction, planning thought ... because I didn't make it home before bedtime.

1 hour sit, noting out loud, quadruplets (body sensation + feeling tone + mind-state + thought)

This is the first time I practice quadruplets for an entire hour. Although it was quite challenging I guess it went fairly well, except for mind-states. I often paused there, not finding anything (while other sensations from different foundations cried to be noted) and then just saying things like "faltering", "searching" ... It got better towards the end, but was still cumbersome.

The dream episodes were there again, but as I intended after my last talk with Kenneth, I didn't stand up to 'fight' them or try other tricks (noting each blink of the eyes, walking around, hitting a singing bowl ...) I'm still not sure which approach is better, but it's time for a change.

The dream episodes were less intense than a couple of days ago, in the sense that I never stopped noting out loud, although it all seemed to be happening 'further away'. Also, they didn't seem to have a lot of content in them (less imagery or sounds than usual). Now and then there was a sudden flash of light during one of these dream states. The first time it really startled me, and I looked out of the window to make sure there wasn't a storm outside.

Really trying to notice the sequences in my experiences so I can finally try to match them to the progress of insight map. No luck so far. Just the usual: starting out with good alertness, then sudden dream states. Some stuff with light happening, and subtle kriyas. Very irregular.