Pejn trying to advance.

This week I have had a kind of hangover.
I am more edgy and tired, have had tensed eyes and a bit messy head.
The brightness and stillness have moved more to the background, accessible if I look for it.

Practice:
Too busy for morning sit, and yesterday I overslept.

This evening:

* Resolution: 'Go through the nanas at least once.'
Fail.
Nothing happened except for some (low) concentration. Sat noting and noticing for 20 mins. Got bored and a bit restless and changed to'¦

* Resolution. 'Go up to 4:th Jhana.'
Fail. Did not happen. Crappy concentrations and a lot of thoughts.
Managed to sit for 30 mins, then quit.

Funnily enough this period started directly after posting my Sunday status report.
- Now give me back my bliss please!

Goodnight /Pejn

Morning sit:
20mins of TM
Some 'monkey mind'.

Early evening:
30 mins
Light stretching of stiff leg turned into lotus position stretching turned into concentration practice in half lotus...
Pretty deep and very enjoyable.
Loosened up the eye tension I had in the afternoon.

Late evening:
30 mins mixed noting/noticing/concentration.
Lots of visual flickering. Swirling and flickering and dizzy mind. Attention and concentration expanding and contracting and deepening and breaking up more or less randomly.
Still pretty deep and enjoyable.

Goodnight /Pejn

"- Now give me back my bliss please!

Goodnight /Pejn"

You will get it back after next path

Happy Riding!

Antero.

"You will get it back after next path

Happy Riding!

Antero."

Yes Antero, it is probably time to start climbing that second hill instead of messing around.
Right now every sit is a bit of a surprise.

Took a walk today while noting.
75 mins
Got stuck in thoughts a lot and only scattered periods of noting. Nice walk though.

Afterwards during day: A few half-hearted meditation attempts while resting in sofa.

Evening:
~60mins
Resolved to complete at least one cycle (Did not believe I would.)
Mixed noting with open eyes and noticing with closed eyes.
Pretty good concentration.
Felt like I went into equanimity quite quick, but it was a bit messy, and @40 mins I got EQ for sure.
@55 mins I recognized the fluttering sensations that usually after a while kicks me back to A&P.
This time the stage transition was slow and almost unrecognizable.
Felt I had left EQ and the small tensions and fluttering for something more energized and clear (A&P I guessed), so I felt done and quit.

Goodnight /Pejn

Morning sit:
20 mins concentration.
Deep and good but too short. Had to go...

Evening sit:
45 mins
No resolution: 'Let's see what happens this time'.
Mixed noting eyes open and noticing eyes closed (most of the time).
Had deep concentration while noting/noticing.
First 30 mins no nanas I could identify but had some tiny bodily effects I associate with 1:st jhana.

@30 mins a strong persistent itch inside my ear started. Stayed for 5-10 minutes, then I killed it with my finger. Sorry little itch!
Before the itch and also staying longer was a tension in my throat.
Another itch started at my chin.
Some small butt pains.
The strong concentration made it really easy to deal with this in a positive way.
Clock told me time for bed.

Goodnight /Pejn