PEJN climbing that second mountain

I think the call-response format of the chanting may have played an important part in this working, too.

I have been practicing this jhanic arc up to this compounded after-eight-jhana regularly, sometimes up and down twice.
After a good group sit 10 days ago I lost my drive a bit and have missed a few sessions. Shouldn't it be the opposite?

Back on track today:
Early evening: 40 mins. Resting in recliner, keeping broad panoramic awareness with breath as anchor. Went up the nyanas and had a fruition (or at least a kickback to A&P). Maybe two when I continued for a while.
(Really refreshing and the cold that kept me down during the day seemed to go away)

Later evening: 15 mins easy yoga (have done that for two weeks now as a preparation).
Then 35 mins jhanic arc.
Played a little with directing my attention around inside the head.
When looking at the third eye or the crown not much happened.
But when watching the base of the skull connecting with the neck concentration shifted and deepened.

Doing vipassana/awareness practice first and then shamata after is maybe backwards, but works better for me than the ordinary way normally promoted (first concentration, then insight).

Goodnight/Pejn

Monday same-same but sloppier.

Morning: 15 mins of asanas, the 10 mins of Ānāpānasati.
Gave good minfulness during the day.

Evening:
40 mins of sitting with attention. Not so sharp attention today.
Dozed off/spaced out a few times. Note to self: Note loud to counter this next time.

Later 15 mins yoga and only 15 mins jhana.
Not so deep jhana, and when I shifted to the witness it felt like the jhana disappeared and "normality" came back.
Thats all. /Pejn

Tuesday:

Morning:
15 mins of asanas, the 10 mins of Ānāpānasati.

Evening
Sweaty work-out, the some virtual sangha with the guys.
Then 35 mins of jhana.
Up to 8th and the "maybe-PL1"
Kept this for a while.
When it broke up I stumbled down step by step to 1:st jhana.
Then up again all the way. As usual all jhanas were much stronger when doing it twice.
(No sitting-in-awarenness-vipassana today)
/Pejn

Wednesday:
Same Same...

Thursday:
One 45 mins jhana-session. One cough-itch in the throat I decided to ignore grow and overwhelmed me. But after that I could really go for it.
Could have continued longer than 45 but had things to do.
Later in the evening 30 mins "sitting with attention". Mediocre.
/Pejn

Interesting event last Friday:
I had been with my breath most of the morning.
Then while listening at a report at work I felt quite weary.
I looked into my experience and asked myself: "What is not OK with this moment"
Within a few seconds this gave me a large bodily energy/pressure rush and following vertigo feeling.

The following "high" days and then "low" days suggest it could have been an A&P event.

(The same thing also happened to me in July while reading a "ruthless truth" blog after a strong meditation session)

I have tried out "mumuwu-jhana" practice the last two days. it is really satisfying. The jhanic arc is hard to recognice, but tranquillity is strong and carries over into daily life.

Yesterday a pile of bad news arrived. I took t quite well I must say, even if I had to put some effort into keep feeling good. Will do this for a few days more.

Insight-wise I have recogniced my tendencies to run away from experiences, and try to counter this by looking into the momemt av take the hit. Most of the times it was nothing to avoid really. Fear of fear?

Thursday:
More "mumuwu-jhanas"
Mixed in some metta also.
60 min+ , could have continued but needed sleep (I start late).

Actually had some psychological/emotional insights about myself I need to take care of.
Not too often that happens.

Still practicing these tranquility-shamata.
Problem now is that I do not know what to do with it.
The state gets very bright, still and restful, but then what to do?
The jhanic arc is not accessible from there.
This aimlessness makes me break up before I have to.
(Also did a horizontal nap/awareness/insight that took me through all the nanas while pretending to watch TV w/ wife at Saturday .)

I suggest two things to do (a combination would probably be best). These are merely ideas, and may not be optimal practice.
Try to cultivate the still pleasure i talk about in my log. Breathe very calmly and allow the pleasure to build. Include the eyes and ears. notice pockets of tension in the core of the body and let them go.
Recognize that any aimlessness and restlessness that may arise is a result of insufficient surrender. There is nothing for you to do, ever. (this can be practiced in daily life, but is quite a bit harder)

@Villum: this makes sense, will try.

Monday: After a workout too hard for me I could neither concentrate for jhanas nor settle down for awareness.
Considered quitting, but I downshifted to noting, and this made the day.

The key to samadhi practice for me is to tune in to the jhanas directly.
If I just follow the breath aimlessly or start to observe things the concentration becomes vipassanized, and jhanas is hard to reach after that.

So what I need to do is immediately go up the jhanic arc, pass 8:th and up to "PL1".
From there is the platform I can work from.
Either I can go down the arc again and then up, strengthen it.
Or "let go", and relax into the jhanic factors.
Or...
Start following the breath again, just like the session had just started.
It seems to send me to 1:st jhana again, but deeper and clearer.
Today it caused a big state shift, where the body suddenly filled up with light, rapture and joy. Probably the strongest bodily pleasure I've had meditationwise.
It fade away a bit and the real life interrupted'¦

Continues here:
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/4827127/Pejn+III