Loco's journal 1

"Congratulations! Prepare to eat sh^t. "

)

still unable to apply any technique to E. how should i engineer the world. "i 'd rather be a nail, than a hammer, lalala, hm hm hmmmmmmm hm hm, yes i always would hm hm ..." see-mon ends garfunkel hm hm hmmmm

negative sideeffects of enlightenment especially concerning memory are probably coming from putting effort in to get the Enlightenmenteffect.

It is possible to get enlightened over effort/meditation but the price is high. the complete effortless way will leave behind a fluid natural liquid mind that can go whereever it wants, into timemode or no-timemode and there is no loss of memory then

Loco, if you have the energy, perhaps you could take a little time to write about your recent practices?

when matter and consciousness mingle they create psyche.

in enlightenment they seem to split up again so that pure physical playful machines are perceived by a pure consciousness (feels like a luminous vertical canvas from the back of the head to the ground). the psyche disappears and only its physical/neurological patterns remain as part of the physical world.

the clean and absolute stillness lets things shine in their pure physical appearence, part of the cosmic physical game where most things are infinite. a tractor drives through the fields and its amazing how ridiculous this man made things are, they are so different and in a way not part of infinity.

"Loco, if you have the energy, perhaps you could take a little time to write about your recent practices?"

ok, a little later...

"in the seeing is only the seen" is a bad description for the phenomenon.nobody who is experiencing it would say "only" to the seen. the seen is not "only".

also it is escorted by a not moving consciousness itself (a clean and absolute stillness filled with a dark yellow light-like sensation) so there is not only the seen.

TOTAL dissolvement of mental phenomena seems necessary to get the full Enlightenment effect, an absolute plain ocean, no miniwaves. E is not this silence, its what one can see then.
after an hour or two the experience of infinity is known and the wow disappears and one lives on the planet, in the garden eden, just like before. started gardening.
phases:
1. infinity when i look into the sky or see clouds
2. mental phenomena disappear and give the way free for real seeing
3. earth what it really is, a cosmic game of biological/physical laws in an unlimited cosmic environment. rabbit running in the field is free, cause it is free from decisions
4. consciousness reappears in its pure form as a peaceful ocean filled with cloudy-yellow light, a background for the planet and the cosmos. it doesn't disturb the real world anymore
5. disappears sometimes and leaves behind a friendly human beeing that is a mixture of matter and consciousness and feels what it feels

blow into a waterglass and turbulences occur, blow into an ocean nothing will happen.
Absolute silence of mind, doesn't seem to be achievable by suppressing, controlling or training the mind.
one way to achieve it is for me to expand. when the self becomes a limitless ocean, reaching far beyond the horizon, the absolute stillness appears. the other way round seems to be an "idiotic" idea. it's to mistake cause and effect.

I live my body from the inside, I see it from the outside

I got a chuckle from that!

"I got a chuckle from that! "

me too )

"

the clean and absolute stillness lets things shine in their pure physical appearence, part of the cosmic physical game where most things are infinite. a tractor drives through the fields and its amazing how ridiculous this man made things are, they are so different and in a way not part of infinity."

Because artifacts, unlike actual things-- trees, clouds, consciousness, living beings, planets-- don't exist at all. The are just shapes imposed on infinite actual things by minds which have the capacity to imagine finitude, minds which can imagine the impossible.

Our human capacity to create artifacts seems to me intimately related to our capacity to imagine impossible ways of being. I would go so far as to say that what artifacts like cars, hammers, cities actually are, are imaginary. A chair is only a chair for beings who share that imaginary meaning. Physically, it's just a shape imposed on infinite material processes, or a trace of that imaginary object, like the ripples in sand left behind by tides. If all humans dissappeared instantly all our artifacts would dissappear instantly as well. But trees, clouds, minerals, rabbits, planets would all continue as they are. The shapes we have molded matter into would instantly begin to degrade as soon as their meaning was no longer recognized. But although those shapes would remain as traces, and the effects on the environment of those traces would continue, the cars and cities and etc. would instantly be *gone*.

But even imagination is part of nature, infinite, pure. It's just that when consciousness is conditioned by the contents of imagination-- all the dreamt up subjects and objects-- only then does the turbulence in the fluid unfolding of nature which we label 'suffering' ensue. When mind remains unhypnotized by the content of imagination, then there is no problem it seems. Although sometimes it is only possible to see the end of that turbulence in moments of cessation of mental activity, imagination. But the stillness and silence of cessation of imagination is just a gateway to glimpsing the nature of nature. In truth nothing is excluded from truth and illusion is itself an illusion.

Our capacity to imagine impossible modes of existing-- non-empty modes of existing-- is projecting all the time on clouds, trees, living beings. The insightful awareness that penetrates the illusion of this illusion can see the infinitude of cars, cities and buddha statues as well as of clouds, trees, and bee hives. Without confinement, all phenomena are undefinable, unlocated, un-finite, yet clearly apparent just as they are. Infinite universe functions effortlessly everywhere, even in delusion. Delusion which imagines the impossible as actual can even confine enlightenment in definitions, leaving mind obsessed with the frozen artifact of a vivid immediacy.

Just two playful posts to add to the fun

Oh! I didn't expect somebody to understand that when I posted it. And once again I am surprised

somehow the "little prince mode" (like Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) where the world only reaches as far as I can physically see and behind that is only infinity. It gives the feeling that one lives on a little planet that ends where ones view ends. the objects on the horizon seem to be a kind of set between me and infinity. beyond the next wall there is empty cosmos.

I have to jump in here and state that all things are mind (man) made.

yes, I would have expected that to be true, but speaking from recent experiences there seems to be a difference between nature and man-made things. I looked at the car and I knew that also a car should have "buddha-nature" like a tree, the lake, the sky. but it simply doesn't. it is just a thing without a connection, it's just a car, just itself, just what it is and is not connected to infinity, its just an object, in a way misplaced.

I know, I agree, and I see that same difference in the "regular" or "duality" mode but not in the absolute. In absolute terms everything is so related and part of everything else that distinctions like "man made" and "natural" don't seem to make sense. All objects are arrangements of the "stuff" everything is comprised of, whatever that stuff is, and it all springs from mind, That's been my view for some time now. I suppose it could change again some day, though.

I also like your comments on stillness. There was a time when that became a major influence on my practice. It became amazingly, crystallizingly clear that everything but some aspects of mind were always resting, always in stillness. That contrast was extremely important to grok somehow, and I think it was a precursor to the path even that occurred a few weeks afterward.

the suspense continues...

Only feeling is real

every technique is fighting a lost battle

Nothing is real

the garden eden waves between the cliffs of pure matter and an infinite ocean of consciousness.

(or more precise "matter" and "matter+oceanic consciousness", the natural cycle seems to be 1,5h, activity triggers matter while resting triggers matter+silent-sea-consciousness, counterintuitive somehow)

What practices had you been pursuing, that resulted in the change you've been describing?

"What practices had you been pursuing, that resulted in the change you've been describing?"

it came out of remembering and finding again a state of complete stillness (which I discovered in an psilocybin experience). this EFFORTLESS stillness is so perfectly still and infinite that there is no whatsoever kind of internal movement, no matter what one does. it can not be achieve via effort/meditation/supressing. all emotions are gone, but there appears a kind of transparent layer (infinite oceanic consciousness) -often when one is not alone- on which a kind of feeling-like phenomenon can sometimes appear which is probably "love itself" and the source of all the "matter-part" of the world.

a mahamudra master probably knew the thing because of what he said to me. there seems to be the possibility for other unpersonal "cosmic" emotions -not only love- to arise, if one can increase effortlessness and is willing to give into whatever arises, nondual or not, painful or not. it's total playfulness. total instability is immanent to the experience and necessary to create this immense stabilitiy of stillness on the other side. as long as the practice is stable or stabilising, it probably won't work.