Emptiness Almost Within Reach

I think someone is doing "better" than they think they are

"Note your discouragement and your triumph and carry on. That's all you have to do.

"

I've been ramping up my silent noting today at work, and it's worked wonders.

Seems like the only really serious problem is whether I'm embedded or not. And noting addresses that. Carrying on.

Edited for typos.

"
I think someone is doing "better" than they think they are

"


See? I told you I didn't know anything! ; )

"Seems like the only really serious problem is whether I'm embedded or not. And noting addresses that. Carrying on.
"

Yes! Perfect! This is it!

Keep at it Ryan... the practice does work as advertised...

Ryan,

I feel you.

If you check out post 98 in my journal, that was a turning point for me. The night before that I met with Kenneth. I thought I was doing great and was full of confidence in my practice (but I was way overconfident).

Kenneth suggested I demonstrate how I meditated to him but it went nowhere. It felt like I had suddenly lost my ability to meditate properly. I felt very embarrassed and discouraged. And not only that, I assumed that Kenneth would think I was lying to him and things like that. It was a rough time.

Anyhow, Kenneth gave me some instructions about penetrating objects, doing the practice exactly as described and journaling about it in a very non-speculative way.

It was tough, but I immediately found the revised practice to be much more in-depth and now I am very very glad that I went through that. At first I felt discouraged like I was having to go back to square one, but now I see that is exactly what I needed to do at that point.

You are doing it right and you are making progress. Keep it up!

Thanks for the encouragement, everybody. It makes a big difference.

Ha, funny how noting works with anything. Like, tonight I've been reading the discussions here and watching Master Chef, intermittently, and noting whichever is prominent: self-defeating thought (there's something about ME that means I can't get IT done), certainty (well, that comment is clearly wrong), aversion (oh, that contestant is about to blow it, I can't stand to watch them screw up), boredom (that ad is so frivolous, it can't possibly be worth paying attention to), pride (oh, yeah, look at this kick-ass NOTING!!), acceptance (well, whatchya gonna do about it? Umm.....note?), uneasiness (ugh, that's not enough, you've GOT to do something about that unpleasantness, about all these FLAWS), coolness (relax, noting IS 'doing something about it' for what that's worth), equanimity (OMG, the chicken fell on the floor: yep sh*t happens and then it's past).

I'm also watching master chef

"@RyGuy: Ha, funny how noting works with anything. Like, tonight I've been reading the discussions here and watching Master Chef, intermittently, and noting whichever is prominent: self-defeating thought (there's something about ME that means I can't get IT done), certainty (well, that comment is clearly wrong), aversion (oh, that contestant is about to blow it, I can't stand to watch them screw up), boredom (that ad is so frivolous, it can't possibly be worth paying attention to), pride (oh, yeah, look at this kick-ass NOTING!!), acceptance (well, whatchya gonna do about it? Umm.....note?), uneasiness (ugh, that's not enough, you've GOT to do something about that unpleasantness, about all these FLAWS), coolness (relax, noting IS 'doing something about it' for what that's worth), equanimity (OMG, the chicken fell on the floor: yep sh*t happens and then it's past)."

Read Ryan's last post, everyone! (Reprinted in this post for you convenience.)

This is exactly how the noting is done. Everything goes in the hopper and becomes fuel for your awakening. Everything.

May you awaken in this lifetime!

Rather than posting on all four threads, I'm going to just say thanks to Kenneth here on this thread for the 3rd gear practice instructions. Magnatz, Toll Booth, Deadman's Switch, Lava Lamp. These are awesome. Or, in the words of the Golden Arches Sutra, I'm lovin' it. Oddly enough, so far it actually reminds me a lot of Thai Forest anapanasati I practiced years ago within the Ajahn Buddhadasa and Ajahn Lee traditions. Especially the Deadman's Switch. Can anyone else relate to that?

Here's an entry from my offline journal:

When I woke up this morning, I began my routine and things were a bit peculiar. It wasn't a feeling of "done", but rather a feeling that that view simply didn't make any sense. The old saying "nowhere to go, nothing to do" applies. In fact, "space-time-form" had nothing at all to do with this, even though those elements hadn't changed or gone anywhere at all. Didn't really last, but I feel like I can get a small glimpse of this when I turn to it, by directing attention to the present moment and relaxing into it, however it is. They key to the relaxing part is to drop all expectation of this ever being a source some imagined enlightenment, and give up (in the sense of relinquish or outgrow) a great fulfillment created by this. Dropping any wish of form ever being formless, of time ever being timeless, of space ever being spaceless. Accepting the intuitive conviction in actuality that all moments are now, birth, death, awakening, all memories and imaginings. All happening now. All moments and events and people and places and things being non-separate. Distinctions as the meta-illusion. Does this make any sense at all to anyone here? Relate to anything familiar in the 3-speed transmission?

Another entry from my offline journal, from a few days ago:

I spent some time practicing the Toll Booth and Deadman's Switch today.

I also reflected a bit to discern what it was I was talking about with the anapanasati comparison, because it sounded a little wonky upon further reflection. This makes some basic sense because (obviously) they are not the same practice.

So, I came up with two possibilities:

a) I'm doing the 3rd gear practices wrong, and winding up doing something more like anapanasati, using breath energy to open up the body, or focusing on the breath in order to bring into view energetic blockages (or leaks, to use Kenneth's word).

b) Somewhere in the process of doing anapanasati, I stumbled along something that is really more of a 3rd gear practice.

"Distinctions as the meta-illusion. Does this make any sense at all to anyone here? Relate to anything familiar in the 3-speed transmission?"-Ryan

3rd Gear, Ryan. This is how it is. Enjoy it as long as it lasts. If it lasts forever, you are done. If it goes away, downshift to 1st Gear and note your behind off.

"b) Somewhere in the process of doing anapanasati, I stumbled along something that is really more of a 3rd gear practice."-Ryan

Sounds reasonable.

""Distinctions as the meta-illusion. Does this make any sense at all to anyone here? Relate to anything familiar in the 3-speed transmission?"-Ryan

3rd Gear, Ryan. This is how it is. Enjoy it as long as it lasts. If it lasts forever, you are done. If it goes away, downshift to 1st Gear and note your behind off."

Didn't last, so I've gone back to 1st gear this past week. Found myself noting in a dream the other night. And it was kind of cool, because it was like waking life noting, in that I noticed in the dream that I was suffering, embedded in some mental / physical state, and turned to noting as a way to be free from it. And it worked, just as it does in waking life. Nice! It'd be great if I could make dream-noting into a reproduce-able skill. We'll see how that goes. Anyone got tips to share about dream practice?

"Didn't last, so I've gone back to 1st gear this past week. Found myself noting in a dream the other night. And it was kind of cool, because it was like waking life noting, in that I noticed in the dream that I was suffering, embedded in some mental / physical state, and turned to noting as a way to be free from it. And it worked, just as it does in waking life. Nice! It'd be great if I could make dream-noting into a reproduce-able skill. We'll see how that goes. Anyone got tips to share about dream practice?"

Ask yourself repeatedly through the day "Is this a dream?" If you get into the habit, you will do it in the dream state which can be a launchpad to lucidity. The other thing you can do is maintain a thread of awareness while you go to sleep, but half the time this will just result in sleep paralysis.

Post 4th path with a strong concentration practice is the easiest though, I'd advise finishing up insight disease first. A lot of things get easier after that.

"I'd advise finishing up insight disease first. A lot of things get easier after that.

"

Sound advice, I reckon.

After all, I am sick. And uncomfortable...with sickness and wellness, which is as good a proof as any that I'm sick.

I haven't been posting much on this site lately, but a few minutes ago I happened upon something Kenneth wrote on Mike Monson's practice thread, and wanted to highlight it.

"Every subtle movement of the mind away from the present experience is suffering. The Buddha called this dosa. Every subtle attempt of the mind to prolong a pleasant experience (lobha) is suffering. In fact, lobha (greed) and dosa (aversion) are two aspects of the same thing. The Buddha called this root problem tanha. And the fact that we do not see that tanha is suffering is called moha (delusion). Moha is the great enabler.

When you see greed and aversion in realtime (the end of moha "delusion/ignorance") you instinctively drop it like a hot rock. This is why we practice: to be able to see it all in realtime. Every moment of noting cuts through the delusion, making the mind and body transparent to attention"

Thank you, Kenneth.

Full text, in post # 65: kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/41...+notes+III?offset=60

Edited to fix link.

Have you ever felt like there's an itch in your head? It's very odd, because you can't scratch your brain. Practice seems to reveal the itch, and seems to be the only thing that is equipped with the tools to "scratch" it, as well. I mean, literally, sitting today there was a strong itch in my head. Attending to it, it would get itchier (more concentrated), sometimes it would move, sometimes it would start to diffuse and spread out until it was imperceptible. It wasn't a "problem" in the oppressive sense, but definitely got my attention.

Hello, everyone!

Tomorrow I leave for Bhavana Society, in West Virginia, where I'll be spending six months as a resident. If anyone is doing a retreat there between now and April, perhaps we'll meet there. That would be fun! But, assuming I won't be in contact with this site in the intervening period, I want to say thank you!!!!!

Most of all to Kenneth: your support and teaching and commitment to openness and encouragement and inspiration have meant so much to me. I really can't begin to say what a difference your influence has made in my life.

And there are many other people here I appreciate so much -- Chris, Mike, Jackson, Owen, Nick, Brian, Roomy, Gozen, Jake, Clayton, Jayson (Mumuwu). And surely others I'm forgetting to name.

Also, although he doesn't frequent this site, at least as a visible contributer, I also want to say thank you to Daniel Ingram, whose website and book and correspondence with me over the past year have also made a huge difference. I don't know where I'd be without his contributions to the world (probably far off in some miserable cul-de-sac of stuff-indulgence.....quite seriously).

Practice well, everyone!

May all beings be free.

"Tomorrow I leave for Bhavana Society, in West Virginia, where I'll be spending six months as a resident. If anyone is doing a retreat there between now and April, perhaps we'll meet there. That would be fun! But, assuming I won't be in contact with this site in the intervening period, I want to say thank you!!!!!

Most of all to Kenneth: your support and teaching and commitment to openness and encouragement and inspiration have meant so much to me. I really can't begin to say what a difference your influence has made in my life.

And there are many other people here I appreciate so much -- Chris, Mike, Jackson, Owen, Nick, Brian, Roomy, Gozen, Jake, Clayton, Jayson (Mumuwu). And surely others I'm forgetting to name.

Also, although he doesn't frequent this site, at least as a visible contributer, I also want to say thank you to Daniel Ingram, whose website and book and correspondence with me over the past year have also made a huge difference. I don't know where I'd be without his contributions to the world (probably far off in some miserable cul-de-sac of stuff-indulgence.....quite seriously).

Practice well, everyone!

May all beings be free."

Dear Ryan,

I'll miss you, my dharma brother. I'll miss your sincerity, your dedication, and your poetry. See you in half a year!

Kenneth

May you quickly get first path and beyond! MOMENTUM!!!!