Tim11's practice notes

1. Got going about 20mins in, no strong sensations but the mushroom head effect appeared maybe 25-30mins in. Found the 'peace' of yesterday shortly afterwards, but it seems more mundane now, like the mind is just cruising along isn't disturbed by pretty much anything apart from sticky thoughts.

There was some muscular shaking of the legs through the 2nd half of the sit, and for a time something like the physical component of anxiety including tightness around the chest area, but the mind was unaffected and was able to look at these with calm curiosity, clearly but with seemingly complete detachment. At one point there was a sharp pin-prick sensation in the chest area, contracted around it and noticed the strangest feeling that body and mind were not connected in their normal way, the subtle feeling that I moved sideways slightly and was no longer directly in sync with the body and thoughts. The vibrations in the body were very fine, it felt like the mind/brain was vibrating at the same frequency and it seemed to be the same the whole time. A few bubbles came up my back towards the end.

2. Same place again, however seemed to reach a new level at about 20mins into 2nd part - instead of the mundane sort of peace it changed into a more restful peace, some excitement or agitation had dropped away. There was no more concern or worry about anything, just confidence in the process. For a little while there was the subtle sense of everything being particles and changing constantly. I'm finding it difficult to describe but it was pretty amazing.

It seemed inherent that once things got going there was no effort needed to maintain the correct amount of energy. Also, things like tiredness were felt, but it seemed more like an intellectual choice as to what to do about them. Also seems to be becoming mentally-oriented, body sensations are there and noticed but towards the background; surrender, letting go of things as they come up, awareness itself seem to be more prominent.

A further sit yesterday was similar to the previous ones but things came along a bit quicker and near the end the body seemed to turn into energy, stronger than before.

Last night there when trying to sleep there were moments when I noticed the mind going full-tilt, vibrations etc; a bit like the last time but not as strong and they didn't freak me out.

Today so far:

1. After settling in there was quite a long period where the mind felt fairly stable and the body sensations were very subtle tingling/swirling, not much sense of depth and nothing much like yesterday. After that the body sensations remained subtle but it seemed more effort was needed on thoughts, this continued for a while until there was a moment of relief, mild wave of tingling starting at the feet/legs moved up the body and effort dropped away.

2. The main feature was the feeling of tense energy throughout the body, along with head pressure. For a time there was the feeling of a build-up of this tension, the mind becoming more concentrated but wobblier at the same time. Then a time when tingly insubstantiality started at the legs and worked its way up but stalled somewhere around the stomach. After that the mind felt deeper but not stable, the tense energy stayed fairly static.

1. Three clear phases to this sit. First phase was settling in and getting up to speed, subtle body vibrations were apparent. Tried to pay closer attention and noticed that the body sensations were more varied during this time than I previously thought, but they seem very subtle and are hard to see clearly.

The second phase was about 20mins in, hitting the peace place of a couple days ago, don't know what happened yesterday but this is back, and it feels much more relaxed and comfortable than previously. Today it began with rumbly shaking, something like being on a rocket ship during take-off, but not very strong, with fine body vibrations. Also a feeling of building energy and pressure under the very top of my head. The mind felt stable and nimble from this point on, and there was the feeling of spaciousness. There was a noticeable pause in the middle of this when the intensity and head pressure dropped off.

The third phase was about 45mins in, the rumbly shaking dropped away and fine shaking with the same sort of fine body vibrations. Very smooth experience, body felt fairly insubstantial, especially from the waist down, at one point the pulse in my hand felt like a spasm of vibrations. Near the end I got the same feeling of stepping sideways from myself as previously.

2. Same again but got stuck just before the rumbly phase, released some sort of resistance and seemed to whiz through it to the phase 3 of earlier and stayed there for the rest of the sit. Sensations were very subtle, and for a time the static fine body vibrations, head pressure and the quality of consciousness seemed more prominent than everything else, except for some thoughts which were relatively easy to manage for a while.

Two more sits after that which were similar but less distinct phases, no rumbly shaking and seemed less vivid. Struggled a bit with thoughts.

Yesterday was a struggle due to an interruption to my normal schedule and resulting lack of sleep. Felt very tired and mentally weak. In both sits I stayed with subtle body sensations, mainly the hands and mostly tingling, reached a point where effort dropped away, the head felt solid and a sense of relief came. Nothing much like other sits of late.

In both sits so far today it took a relatively long time (maybe 45m & 25m) but reached the peace/well being place of a couple of days ago. During this time, particularly in the 2nd sit, noted frustration over difficulty in settling the mind, awful sticky thoughts etc; after hitting the peace place all this went away. The experience was more subtle and much less head pressure. At one point the body seemed to turn to energy but again was more subtle, diffuse tingly movement and lightness everywhere.

Sounds liek you might be hitting the 11th nana, Tim. Nice progress! Keep doing whay you are doing!

Thanks for the encouragement Nikolai

The interruption the other day really felt like a stick in my spokes - the difference between yesterday and the day before was like night and day.
I'm going to keep my head down and try to build up momentum again.

1. Similar to yesterday although the experience was fairly static for some long periods. There was a similar sensation of the body turning to energy, but it was less like energy and more like lightness everywhere.

2. Same again, but at the height of this there was a stronger feeling of the body being filled with light, soft and diffuse tingling vibrations. Initially the heart was beating a little stronger and there was some tension, but it settled down quickly and shortly after came a feeling of greater depth and stability than I have felt before. For a time there was an overlay of fine shaking on top of the soft vibrations, I noted and released some tension, then this disappeared. After sitting with this for a little while it settled down, and eventually consciousness seemed mundane and the sit ended but now the mind feels wonderfully peaceful.

Over the last couple of days there hasn't been much new happening, but it has all settled down somewhat. Hitting the same place but the feeling of peace seems to be the norm now so isn't very obvious any longer. Yesterday there were several instances of the energy/tingling filling the body, but they were more subtle.

Today the experience has been very static. Settling in on the first sit took perhaps 10-15mins, from that point on and during practically all of the following 2 sits, the experience was mostly of fine, diffuse tingling/energy in the body which slowly becomes more prominent than the normal feeling of solidity/weight associated with the body. No energy events, but at one point there was something like a build-up of tension/pressure in the head which came with a little shaking.

In the 3rd sit applied effort to increasing depth and stability. This helped keep me focussed and worked to an extent, there was a slight slow-motion or gluey quality to everything but the experience itself was still pretty much the same and remained static and subtle.

Yesterday was a bit of a struggle. During every sit there was dullness, sleepiness, distractedness, lack of clarity. The monkey mind was going wild at times. It didn't seem to be anything inherent to the meditation itself, just one of those days I suppose.

Today was back to where I was before (previous post), however the body sensations were more subtle. The same lightness/tingling feeling but more subtle, and the lightness of the body more subtle as well. There was the odd bit of energy swirling around, but also very mild. The action seems centred on the head, sometimes there was a build-up of pressure, sometimes solid weight, other times the feeling of solidity creeping through the skull.

Through all the sits there was the sense of ever increasing depth. At one point there was the curious sensation of the mind being very deep but a little wobbly (not distracted, just sort of wobbly), and the eyelids were fluttering a little, this settled down after a short time. Felt balanced and close to sensations throughout.

Today and yesterday's sits have been dominated by drowsiness. However this morning it appeared to me that this is related to some minor day-to-day anxiety which I have been carrying around for a few days. Saw the emotion more clearly this morning than before, and tried to open up to it as much as possible. Things improved each sit, and in the last one it felt like an obstruction was removed and the drowsiness disappeared until right near the end of the sit.

Today most of the time I was watching subtle vibration around the body, but there were some periods when I could feel strongish sensations of energy moving around and some stronger head pressure/solidity. Later on in the last sit my centre of consciousness appeared to move forward from the back of my head to around the eye area.

Today it has felt like the issues of the past few days have been mostly resolved, and no drowsiness was apparent.

1. Initially there were coarse vibrations and some fine shaking. About halfway though the shaking went away and the vibrations became quite fine, at the same time there was a very subtle sense of relief and effort dropping away. The rest of the sit the vibrations became finer, and the body became somewhat insubstantial, especially from the waist down. At one point I sort of lost the sense of the body entirely, but it came back after a second or two.

2. For the first part of this, the body sensations were mainly light tingling, but the body itself felt quite weighty and warm. About halfway through there was the feeling of a powerful but slow flow of energy up my back but particularly from the neck to the head.. This was quite engrossing for a little while, and at one point there was some sort of physical buzzing in my ear. After this the body was less distinct, more like a mass of light tingling. Along with this there was a sense of floating and rotating, and it seemed like consciousness itself was an object to examine.

Tim, could you log your hours of sitting or formal walking each day? (I happen to know you dedicate a lot of time to this and it would be inspirational to the other yogis to see how much.)

Keep on keepin' on. The only thing that will result from this kind of constancy is enlightenment.

Sure Kenneth, I'll add that to the notes from here on in and thank you for the encouragement.

Practice time today 3.5 hours.

All the sits had basically the same features, however as sits progressed the earlier phenomenon were over quickly and more time was spent with the later.

Began with light tingling throughout the body. There were sticky thoughts but in each sit today put extra effort into trying to watch them arise which worked pretty well. Then the feeling of slow energy moving up the back and neck, today it was more noticeable by an increase in stability and quietness of the mind than the actual flowing sensation which was very subtle early on and basically not there later on.

From this point on the body felt less substantial, more like a blob of tingling like yesterday. The physical head and the mind were very prominent as objects compared to the body. There was various kinds of head pressure, a few instances of energy moving around and a curious spacey feeling. I found it strangely interesting to simply look at the backs of my eyelids, noting 'seeing', and notice how it felt to pay attention to this - I can't explain why this was.

Later in most of the sits there was a pulling upwards of the head/neck. Right at the end of the 2nd sit there was some sort of mental shock and I think a flash of light, after which I felt pretty down to earth until the end of the sit. The last sit was later in the day than the rest and it was interesting because it felt like I was getting no traction at all and all of a sudden the same feeling came over me and I was back in the same place as before.

3 hours today

1. Started the same as yesterday, however it only took perhaps 5-10mins to get to where the stability and quietness came, the flowing energy is no longer very apparent, however the change of intensity was quite powerful and the first time it came today I had to take a couple of deep breaths.

The rest of the sit was dominated by energy buildups. There was some shaking, energy movement and head pressure that came along with these, but primarily it was felt like a buildup of nervous tension, like when you are about to burst into tears but without the emotional content. The first time was pretty short, then there was a peaceful break for a few minutes, the second time was long (maybe 10+mins, hard to know) and quite intense. The third was much weaker.

Also, at the start of this sit it seemed clear that the staring into blackness was to do with how I position the mind and watch for thoughts arising, however right near the end I was seeing the fuzzy blackness and there was the curious feeling of being drawn into watching it for it's own sake. So, it's still a bit of a mystery.

The later sits followed the same pattern, the energy buildups were initially intense, some rumbling shaking and very strong head pressure. Later they were more subdued, but even when things were quiet the ongoing level of intensity was really high.

2:55 in total today

1. Started similarly to later on yesterday, the intensity arrived and then some energy/tension buildups however instead of exhausting like yesterday it was weaker and I was able to relax into it more. Then after a while it all settled down to subtle shaking and tingling in the body, and later settled further to an eerie quiet - all the usual little things happening around the body stopped or became extremely subtle, the body was only very subtly tingling - it was a bit spooky. After this the body had a sort of soft focus, all the edges were blurred and there was lightness and a little tingling throughout.

2. Picked up where the last session left off with light tingling around the body and an eerie quiet - everything very subtle and stable. After a little while there was the feeling of the top of my head becoming insubstantial and tingling. From this point to the end of the sit everything was about the head and mind, the body was there but in soft focus and very secondary. It's hard to describe, but attention and consciousness was a prominent object along with head pressure and tingling. Staring into space was interesting again, it was like if I continued to look there would be something to see.

3. Again began with the eerie quiet, but gradually some tingling throughout the body became more apparent. After a while the entire body felt like it became tingling energy, then there was a lifting sensation. After that things settled a bit, there was a falling sensation and downward head pressure. From then to the end of the sit was pretty tranquil and deep. There were fine buzzy vibrations throughout the body and I felt very close to them. At one point I got a glimpse of 'me' actually being or looking out from a patch of buzzyness. Just before getting up my head involuntarily twisted violently to the left.

3:15 today

1. Started with some tension/energy buildups which came very quickly, however they were medium intensity compared to previously, and accompanied by sensations of heat. It was maybe like having some adrenaline in the system, but without the associated threat/emotion. This all settled down about 1/3rd of the way through, and the background of the rest of the sit was cool, fine vibrations/tingling around the body. Still some intensity at times but most of the time things felt very smooth.

The 'staring into space' was a primary feature of the rest of the sit as well, and today it seemed that when I feel this and note 'seeing' I am perhaps centred on seeing but in fact am taking in everything at once. It's not like a wide angle of view, it's more that all the sensations have been moved around so they are directly in front of me, able to be seen/felt/noticed without moving - the 'seeing' is just what I am doing to observe it all.


The rest of the sits were quite similar:

From this point on it seemed clear that all sensations were out in front and readily observable. Mostly cool, fine vibrations in the body, also some head pressure and head solidity - at one point the head solidity spread down the top of the torso as well. It all felt very stable and quite effortless, almost like I could get up and walk off without disturbing it. Early on there was a period of more intense, coarser vibrations and a little shaking, but it lasted just a short time and then back to as it was before.

There were some times that sensations were observed in different ways. Like at one point a bunch of sensations appeared to be mingled together, and in the last sit a main feature was the sense of everything being slowed down.

2:35 today

1. Started with a couple of energy buildups like previously but very mild, then on to fine vibrations and effortlessness. Stayed there for a while, found it easy to dispense with thoughts early on but as this period went on they became stickier and stickier. Then a feeling of intense depth came over me all of a sudden, and from that point to right near the end of the sit sensations seemed to be slowed down and gluey. There were a couple of periods of slight shaking but mostly just watching vibrations in the body.

The following sits continued from where the first left off, with similar depth and often a sense of everything being slowed down. The sensations around the body did not change dramatically but felt extremely close to them.

3:25 today

1. Began with energy buildups and rumbly shaking, had some issues with sticky thoughts but got on top of them. About halfway through the energy and rumbling stopped, and from this point on everything was much smoother. Fine tingling and a little light shaking at times. For the rest of the sit the sensations didn't change all that much, but the perception of them did. The mind felt very stable, more and more under control, with high resolution and objectivity. Near the end, if I didn' t pay particular attention to a single sensation, all the body stuff would mingle in together in a narrower stream of input.

During the rest of the sits the progression wasn't characterised by changing body sensations, throughout there was mainly light tingling, fine vibrations and various kinds of head pressure and solidity. What did characterise it was the mind and perception of sensations, and it was very hard to describe.

It was like seeing things in a more raw form. Ordinary sensations were very detailed and sometimes enthralling. At one point the whole body seemed to be comprised of the same vibration, and the mind moved towards merging with it. At times there were subtle body vibrations and they seemed to be comprised of wavelets of vibrations. High resolution, fast, detailed, super-stable - these go some way to describing the experience but not very adequate.

At the beginning of the last sit there was almost nothing happening in the body - just some light tingling vibrations, but the flood of stimulus was almost too much to handle - like turning on the light when your eyes are adjusted to the dark. It took maybe 15mins to get accustomed to it. New records for how fast sitting time seemed to pass by.

3:15 today

1. Preliminaries were over quite quickly and was back to the same sort of territory as the middle of yesterday's sits, however the wow factor had subsided and it all seemed a bit more under control. In the first part of the sit there was light tingling throughout the body, this gradually changed to light diffuse vibrations - there was a strong sense of going deeper during this time. In the second part things smoothed off, there were some slightly coarser vibrations from time to time but the most interesting object was the underlying very fast vibration - the mind was quite willing to stick to this. Mind felt very spacious, and thoughts were less able to impose themselves so it was much easier to not be involved in the content and let them slide on by. The third part things smoothed out even more, the slightly coarser vibrations more or less stopped and there was just that underlying very fast and fine vibration, felt as though I was getting closer to it.

The following sits followed closely on from the first:

Continued with the fast vibration from before, got closer to it and after some time it's character changed from a vibration to subtle movement, like discrete movements with edges. Eventually this passed as well and there appeared to be something finer underneath it as well, it initially seemed to be a vibration but later it seemed like there was no movement as such, it was more like individual sensations turning on and off - but too fine and fast to make out the individual components. Stayed with this for the remainder of the time.

Not much head pressure today but at times a strongish sense of gluey slow-motion. Overall very stable feeling and relatively effortless.

3 hours today

1. This sit was a bit tough because some day-to-day concerns kept intruding, there was a physical sensation which reminded me of it and every time I noted it there would be a chain reaction of proliferating thought. Making it the object helped but it still felt like hard labour after yesterday. After getting stuck early on it felt like I was re-covering some ground which I have been through over recent days, there was a very subtle energy buildup as per a few days ago, then a quite solid sense of depth and fine shaking, then just fine vibrations but none of the clarity of the last couple of days. Frustration, discomfort, tiredness, etc.

2. That's more like it Sat down with renewed determination to make all this rubbish coming up the object, and almost immediately I knew it was not going to be an issue any longer. The first maybe 20m was re-covering ground from the last two days, and spaciousness returned to the mind. Reached yesterday's territory about 30m in. The mind was fairly fixed on a very fine, fast vibration in the background and I was free to note that and any other things as they came up. Over the remaining time, the amount of the mind not fixed on the background vibration grew smaller and smaller, until right at the end when it was really hard to look at anything else. I was still aware of other things but couldn't look at anything else directly.

3. Almost no preliminaries this time, and reached the same place as before but the mind didn't lock on to the background like before, it just felt like I was sitting in an empty room with the vibration for quite a while. Very slowly it became clearer and more granular. After a bit more expansive spaciousness came, and for a time later I was quite able to watch some thoughts appearing and passing without any involvement. During the last part of the sit felt quite light and uplifted.

3:25 today

1. Overall this was pretty similar to last sit yesterday. Took about 15mins to get past preliminaries, then was sitting with the background vibration but the mind still felt quite close. About half-way through the spaciousness came, and then very slowly the background became more granular, closer to the end it was more like a very minute shake or pulse. The mind had a feel of a wheel spinning faster and faster, all I had to do was keep the muck from sticking to it. Abut 45mins in a gentle and slow surge of energy came up the back, and most of the 2nd half of the sit there was medium-strength head pressure at the very top of the head.

2. The first 15mins or so the focus was fairly strong pressure and moderate energy movement around the head. Along with this there was some light jerky shaking in the body. Things settled down after that and stayed with the background vibration in the body, at some point the feeling of spaciousness came to the mind. The feeling of the mind spinning faster from the previous sit wasn't apparent. About 45mins in there was a noticeable change and for a short time absolutely everything was sliding off the mind without any effort whatsoever, like watching a movie. This eased off a little and had to actually let go of things again but the effort required was very slight compared with before. For the remainder of the sit the background vibration had changed character, slowing from the minute shake/pulse to something almost like tiny waves and but less distinct and uniform than before.

3. Continued on directly from the previous sit, however initially pleasant thoughts were very sticky. After a little while it was like a mist came over me and everything was less distinct. Thoughts ceased to be an issue, but it was a bit disorientating. There was the subtle background movement that was perhaps like waves, but also a constant pulsing which a bit hard to locate, at times it seemed to come from my left leg but other times I couldn't even be sure if it was coming from the body.

There was a distinct sense of being very deep, and perhaps the slow-motion effect. I wouldn't say the body disappeared during this time, but it was not entirely there, or completely visible all the time - perception seemed to be weird or warped somehow, and it was helpful to have the pulsing as an anchor. I'm really struggling to describe this adequately, but hopefully it will be clearer next sit.

4. Continued in the same vein but the body felt more grounded, pulsing there but less distinct. The weirdness of the last sit wasn't there but it was a bit like looking through a very thick piece of glass.

2:40 today

After settling in the spaciousness came to the mind and for the majority of the sit I was watching the very subtle background movement. I say movement because it was like a vibration, but there was no constant frequency in a particular place or time, like of a vibratory white noise. It started out being on the edge of perception and very slowly got closer to it. There were the odd transient sensations that came from time to time, but on the whole the body was very quiet and even head pressure was minimal.

Watching this and even looking very closely for the edges of things was almost effortless, also things were extremely clear, and none of the weirdness of yesterday. It was hard to find edges to zoom in to, so I tried just watching the hands, this seemed to move things along but it was almost imperceptible. Near the end the background vibration changed to become very slightly finer, and there was a little energy movement around the body. For a short time there was also a more normal fast, fine vibration but it was only around the right side of the body.

2. Came to the same place quickly enough, but things were not quite as clear and a little of the weirdness of yesterday started to creep in. After a little while it felt like I was working a bit hard looking for the edges of things, and relaxed into the sensations. This felt very relaxing, but a little too much so and it was difficult to stay focussed.