MuMuWu's Practice Journal

I did 2 rounds of the arc with special care not to manipulate things in any way (started by going deep into first jhana and then shifting to witness practce). Any thoughts were noted as "words" as that's usually where I get embedded or start to evaluate things and manipulate the experience.

It was a very quiet ride (mentally - thoughtwise), but the nanas were very clear. Dukkha nanas are extremely clear each time. Things got very subtle after equanimity and the 2nd ride up the arc was extremely subtle. I sat for about an hour without feeling any urge to get up. On the second round I experienced a fruition in high equanimity.

I am definitely experiencing something after 8th Jhana that seems to correspond to descriptions of pure-land jhanas. I'm getting pleasant vibrations in the body along with pressure at the third eye. The pressure seems to move up to the crown and the pleasant vibrations are still felt. Next there's a shift to a wide awareness. This is clear with eyes open and with eyes closed it's a neat experience of a wide mental space. Next the body becomes prevalent again with a focus at the third eye. Lastly there's a shift to the crown in some way. This feels very tight along the spine and makes me want to sit up straight. It's the most intense physically (not in the way of pleasure, but in the way of energy I guess you could say). This all reverses very clearly on the way back down.

On the second ride up there were shifts into mental images, I don't recall much about this, it seemed to happen in the earlier nanas.

Awesome report, Jayson!!

Sounds like the PL jhanas are begging to be experienced, man. That could only mean one thing: PROGRESS!!!

You always do a great job at noting, it's no wonder you are having such success so quickly! keep it up!
Get those cycles rolling! keep that awesome momentum going! push push push!

Hi Jayson,

My experiences are similar to yours. Although I am not experiencing pleasure or pleasant vibrations, but I recognize the feeling of intensity in the way of energy as you say. I just sat through them and the second one where the attention is focused down, had very clear feeling of energy at base of the spine. I am a bit hesitant to say anything definite about these states yet. I feel that I may not be getting to the bottom of these states and probably need some more cycles of insight to develop them further.

Could you describe the pinching of the nose method you are using?

Antero.

I definitely resonated with your description of something which is in the process of developing but not fulled fleshed out yet.

The nose pinch method is basically picturing fingers pinching your nose. It keeps your mind focused on a single point (the nose tip) and also involves applied and sustained thought in the form of the virtual nose pinch.

"Kenneth: There are traditional descriptions of the jhanas, listing the characteristics of each one, but for me it's about seeing them enough times to recognize them. I experience the 1st jhana as quiet exhilaration. There are pleasant energy waves rising through the body. I do a thing I call the "virtual nose pinch" if I want to figure out if I'm in the 1st jhana or the second. Usually it's clear, but if I want to be sure, I'll imagine pinching my nose with an imaginary thumb and forefinger. If I can do it, I'm in the first jhana (assuming I'm in any jhana at all). That's because the mental factors of pointing and sustaining the mind on an object in such a pinpoint way drop away in the second jhana and don't appear in any of the other jhanas. Jhanas are defined by what is lost as you go from one to the next. Remember that in the 2nd jhana, the mind is sinking into the jhana. So the pinpoint focus is gone and it's slightly more diffuse. In the third jhana, the focus becomes even more diffuse and so on."

"I definitely resonated with your description of something which is in the process of developing but not fulled fleshed out yet.

The nose pinch method is basically picturing fingers pinching your nose. It keeps your mind focused on a single point (the nose tip) and also involves applied and sustained thought in the form of the virtual nose pinch.

"Kenneth: There are traditional descriptions of the jhanas, listing the characteristics of each one, but for me it's about seeing them enough times to recognize them. I experience the 1st jhana as quiet exhilaration. There are pleasant energy waves rising through the body. I do a thing I call the "virtual nose pinch" if I want to figure out if I'm in the 1st jhana or the second. Usually it's clear, but if I want to be sure, I'll imagine pinching my nose with an imaginary thumb and forefinger. If I can do it, I'm in the first jhana (assuming I'm in any jhana at all). That's because the mental factors of pointing and sustaining the mind on an object in such a pinpoint way drop away in the second jhana and don't appear in any of the other jhanas. Jhanas are defined by what is lost as you go from one to the next. Remember that in the 2nd jhana, the mind is sinking into the jhana. So the pinpoint focus is gone and it's slightly more diffuse. In the third jhana, the focus becomes even more diffuse and so on.""

Wow!
I hadn't heard about the nose pinch method until now. It works great! Neat!

Kenneth has a bag full of awesome little tricks! The eyelid trick to experience fruition is another one! so simple, yet so useful.
Thanks for sharing, Jayson!

Just a quick one.

Been watching the breath during the day for a couple of days. It's really easy to see when I turn away from the moment and go off into a thought by doing this. The breathing gets restricted (chest gets tighter, breath is often held for a while, etc.).

Keeping this in mind, when I sat today I just tried to do nothing (just sitting). I also didn't try to cultivate the first Jhana. I noticed that the sit started in A&P and went up from there. Nanas were very smooth and clear. Equanimity was very pleasant. Again, it was easy to catch the mind getting distracted or trying to manipulate. I simple said "who am I" when this happened.

I got up into high equanimity (very pleasant vibrations, noticeable slight pressure/focus at the crown) and tuned into strobing/fluttering around the eyes. Felt a gap and noticed the visual field get noticeably brighter and there was some very positive sensations/energy. I got up at this point.

Still feeling some pleasant vibrations / energy now as an after effect. Very clean, peaceful and clear sit. I'm enjoying my sits quite a bit these days.

Also, Dukkha Nanas are still rather unpleasant but in a different way. It's just phenomenon and there's definitely peace in the midst of it now. In some ways it's more intense than ever before, but at the same time it's familiar and even the emotional coloring of it (for example the palpable sadness/despair of desire for deliverance) is not personal in some way.

Practicing as per usual (although fairly lazy about it right now).

Experience seems to be getting lighter. Less and less clinging, less and less suffering.

Good times.

I've been playing around with anapansati this weekend. It's a very enjoyable practice. The way I've been doing it is according to instructions I read a while back by Ajhan Chah.

www.ajahnchah.org/book/Just_Do_It_1_2.php

I just focus on the breath at the nostril as it goes in and out and I say bud on the in and dho on the out. As the mind goes out to thoughts, or sensations I reign it back to this point. Eventually I feel very rapturous sensations in the body (1st jhana) and this can get very deep. The mind seems to get out of the way and the body seems to become mostly just rapturous sensations before mostly fading away. The experience gets very simple and calm as I go through the jhanas up to 4th.

While in 4th I switch to looking at strobing and - whoomp - a fruition.

Coming out of this meditation the mind feels incredibly fresh and clean.

I'm interested in exploring higher jhanas now with this as a build up. It's a very self fulfilling practice because it is very soothing and enjoyable in and of itself.

There is so much joy and pleasure in my body as I listen to a record here after sitting. Wow, I think I've found a way to go much deeper than I have been going.

Finally got the point that direct mode, at this point at least, is best used as a way for me to deal with anxiety. I had been using it as a means to chase after PCE's, but that was mostly unfruitful. Using it as a way to ground anxiety in the body when that is an issue is great, and it's best used as an adjunct to my first gear practice which yields lasting and permanent results.

So, yeah, just keeping an eye on the various tense/heavy spots in the body has been working wonderfully and it's much easier to keep going when I'm not focused so much on the "magical quality" of perception it leads to and trying to have a very deep experience of that. There's a noticeable difference and things are beautiful while I'm doing the practice, but it's not the main point for me right now and that's helping to do it much more consistently and it's been working wonders for the past couple of days.

I've been reading I AM That / saw an interesting post over on the DHO, so I decided to start investigating the sense of self as bare sensations, trying to see the three characteristics there. I've also been watching thought and memory as well and also keeping attention on the sense of space. I'm also watching how attention moves around. I'm basically investigating some more subtle phenomenon.

Anyhow, I'm hitting what feels like a ramped up A&P. Right now there's a sense of unity & expansiveness in my experience as well as energy and delight. I feel explosively happy right now, and there's a burning (pleasant & warm) energetic sensation around the body. There's a particulate nature to everything if I turn my attention toward it right now as well.

There also doesn't seem to be as much of a difference between a distracted state right now and a collected one. There's just seems to be a change in what is being focused on, a change in somatic charge in some way (pressure/energetic phenomenon in the body at various points), the presence/strength of mental imagery/thought, etc. from one of these states vs the other.

The long and short is that I think I've settled into investigating some more subtle phenomenon, it's super interesting and seems to be leading somewhere.

!!!

Awesome Progress!!

For that past week or so I had been experiencing things in a very nice, open, bright, clean, nondualish etc. way. Everyday experience was very enjoyable and it felt very good in my skin. Anyhow, between last night and this morning it became evident that I am currently in 3 characteristics (aches, itches). I had been doing a solid noting practice for the past couple of days which seems to have moved things up to where I'm at now. Looking back on it, that niceness was probably the mind and body of the current cycle I must be in. What seems to have gotten me into it was what I had been discussing in my last post.

Onward!

(the 3 characteristics phase is progressing as expected. Occasional flashes of warmth and tingling are appearing now, and I am getting some negative emotions (aversion, irritation, sadness).

Hitting A&P now in the sit I just had. Transition to more vibratory experience, itching dissipated, visual field becoming bright (preceded by several lights in the visual field throughout the sit - looked like the after image of a candle flame). Rising euphoric energy and warmth. Mindstate very excited and joyous. Flickering in the visual field becoming apparent as well as subtle pulsing in the body (tactile).

Hit 3 characteristics last night before bed (maybe 2 AM). Lasted all morning from about until now at 4:20 PM.

Wow - the clearest most pleasant dissolution yet. Relaxing in the bath, having a glass of scotch, doing the witness, when coolness became prevalent and this blissful emptiness opened up. No pain or discomfort in the body, no thoughts in the mind. Just completely content and disinterested. Total blank laziness. Wonderful. A pleasant coolness was felt on the skin and I was very relaxed.

After the bath, felt a bit less settled, tension manifesting in the head.

Went for a walk with the dog. Overwhelming sense of unease that deepened as I walked. The same pressure in my head and then growing in the shoulders.

Noticed a great sense of dread whenever I saw people coming from their houses in the distance. I was walking across a field and felt a great urge to remain hidden in the shadows behind the trees until they were out of sight.

Lots of anxious thinking as I walked as well (thoughts about work, the future, etc. The mind was very active).

Interesting.

More and more tension/aching in the body as I write this. Slight tingling on the skin.

Eventually wound up in equanimity late last night and experienced very noticeable flickering in the visual field (also had a tactile sense to it) as I lay down in bed. I focused on it and experienced several discontinuities.

Was just able to call up a fruition via a resolution.

The discontinuity was like an extremely fast wave of blackness that moved across the visual field (very subtle). The blissful sensation / effect on the mind were fairly unmistakable.

Other than that, things are back to normal.

Another really intense fruition just now while sitting at my desk.

This one was very blissful, and the mind is reeling afterward (hard to think).

Super nice.

Review phase A?
--
Edit: Just watching myself after that last one and I am definitely passing through dukkha nanas again (more quickly, less intense - although I did catch my self gagging for a moment). So, yeah, frution, followed by 4-11 and I'll have an eye for another fruition once I get up to equanimity again.

Coolness!

Thanks Meekan.

Turns out the point when I went into mind and body was probably when I became very interested in one pointed concentration. On Saturday night I got quite blissed out staring at an ornament at my girlfriends sister's house. It was on the border of her TV which we were watching so I didn't look weird doing it (I hope).

Kenneth introduced a practice where I am sweeping through the size of the attention from large to small and back looking for the size the attention wants to be. When I find it there's a loosing of some sort of tension and then I can see how tension arises as I move away from it in either direction.

I notice that when doing this the attention is not going back to the various tense/painful places in the body and there's a lot less suffering overall. It's an interesting practice for sure.

Ha! Yeah, I've been using Christmas-tree ornaments as kasinas, too. There's a pale-blue one on our tree that is right out of the Visuddhimagga. LOL!

Experienced sleep paralysis last night.

This was a first for me.

Intense sense of fear, inability to move (or make vocal sounds). Felt like I could mouth words, but no ability to get them out (or scream). Some ability to move fingers. Seemed to be able to get out of it by shaking my foot until I could get it going pretty strong.

This happened a good number of times (4 or 5). I would see myself fall asleep and then at some point become aware I was lying in bed but unable to move. Feels like an intense weight all over the body.

After I was able to move again I shrugged it off and went back to sleep.

Very cool.

Been chasing after states, trying to explore NS, doing direct mode stuff, 2nd gear, 3rd gear, concentration, etc.

I'm resolving to drop all of that for the time being and resume hardcore noting practice. It seems like the right thing to do.

Noting once per second, trying to keep a steady rate, out loud when possible. As much as possible I will try not to manipulate experience and note whatever is being presented to attention in the moment.

GET IT DONE!

"KF: We have to put it in perspective and admit to ourselves that seeking interesting experiences and interesting ideas in spirituality is not so different from choosing movies on Netflix. You are doing it for the same reason. There is nothing really going on there except entertainment. Entertainment is beautiful. I have nothing whatsoever against entertainment, and I love movies. But that is not the same as doing the work or surrendering. Whether you are actively doing techniques from the yogi toolbox, which is what I call First Gear, where you are looking at the objects of attention in a very systematic way, or whether you are turning the light of attention around to inquire into the supposed knower of the situation, which is what I call Second Gear, or whether you're surrendering entirely and seeing that you have nothing to say about any of this, which is what I call Third Gear'¦ now those are actual practices. They lead to happiness and freedom. And they have very little to do with my opinions, my ideas or what teacher I find exciting."

--Kenneth Folk
www.buddhistgeeks.com/2010/12/the-mirage-of-self/ (new article on Buddhist Geeks)

QUITE TIMELY!

Seemed to go from A&P up to equanimity several times via noting, finding myself back in A&P (I think twice) during the work day. Very energetic experience this time, lots of vibrations and things such as eye twitching.

The last time through things went much slower and I spent the evening in the dukkha nanas. It lasted from probably about 4:00 until around midnight when it seemed to break.